BBird0701 Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> @LisaKwaj,
>
> I think the district manager handled it
> appropriately. I think the MSC handled their part
> appropriately. I do agree with their (client's)
> decision that my report was unusable, given what
> happened. I think the waitress should have
> apologized, but she hasn't. Maybe she was
> instructed not to contact me.
>
> I was a bit hurt that the safety of reveal shops
> was kind of brushed over by the MSC and/or client.
> I'd asked if this situation had given them enough
> reason to rethink the strategy of how to safely
> perform reveal shops. The response I got back was
> "Oh, this was such an isolated and unusual
> incident."
>
> I do think I will continue to do compliance shops
> in the future. I've spoken at length with my
> husband about it, and we both agree that I
> shouldn't let one negative experience ruin what I
> believe to be a valuable service.
>
> As Vlade pointed out, I haven't yet received
> reimbursement, so it's not quite over for me yet.
>
> @ NYCrocks,
>
> I don't know how soon after her miscarriage that
> she returned to work. I personally have never
> suffered from PPD but have known people who have.
> PPD made my most mild-mannered, gentle friend into
> someone even she did not recognize for a time. She
> would put her son in his crib after an hour of
> trying to comfort him, and have to walk away,
> because she was afraid of "snapping." She said
> she'd get in the shower and cry, because she'd had
> feelings of extreme frustrations and it frightened
> her, the feeling of boiling over just beneath the
> surface. I met her at a coffee house about two
> months after she'd given birth, and she was her
> normal self, smiling and gentle... and then they
> gave her the wrong coffee, or made it wrong, I
> can't remember. She boiled over immediately, and
> SLAMMED the coffee back down on the counter,
> contents sloshing out of the top.
>
> The main difference between the waitress and my
> friend... and other friends I've known who've
> suffered from PPD.... is that the waitress was not
> immediately mortified/embarrassed/apologetic of
> her actions when she "snapped." Then again,
> delayed reaction may be a symptom of her unique
> situation. I don't know, I don't know her, it's
> something that's never happened to me, so I don't
> even have a platform of understanding... All I
> know is that I'm not going to judge her any more
> for it. I just want my car repainted and for her
> to get the help she needs. There's nothing that I
> can do about that, though I've been looking on
> Amazon for grief counseling books, was thinking of
> mailing them to the restaurant for her. My
> impression is that she doesn't have the support
> she needs. If the manager, her stepfather, allowed
> her to return to work knowing she's still "not
> quite right" (his words)... I don't think she's
> getting the support and understanding she needs.
>
> For all we know, this could've been a cry for
> help. "Look at me, I'm still suffering and you
> guys don't even notice, acting like everything's
> normal." If it was, I hope she gets the help she
> needs.
You are very kindhearted to think of sending the woman grief counseling books. It sounds like she may need professional help and an anti-depressant.
I am kindhearted to a fault, but I have become less so than when I was younger, as I've been burned too many times. I still have a lot of compassion and empathy for others' misfortunes and I always try to understand where they are coming from. But, I don't handle intimidation tactics very well. I just wish the person well, hope they learn something at some point, and then hope they stay as far away from me as possible!
This woman's actions were an attempt at intimidation and were an obvious retaliation. Maybe she wasn't in her right mind at the time because of the PPD but she was very calculated and methodical when taking photos of your car and scratching the paint. It's not like slamming a coffee cup down because it was the wrong thing and then regretting behavior later like your friend.
I also have no frame of reference for clinical or post partum depression. Women have murdered their children claiming post partum depression before. Some even went to institutions rather than jail when their cases were tried.
I've certainly suffered loss (including miscarriages and death of both parents at a young age) and other major disappointments before. I get annoyed with people every day, living in a big city where people are often very self-centered and inconsiderate, and sometimes act just plain stupid. I've lost jobs before too. It's just not in my personality to try to intimidate anyone for any reason.
I have known people who use intimidation to get what they want or to "get even." This is often learned behavior. I have also known people with Narcissistic Personal Disorder. Some have been the same intimidating people! The slightest criticism is enough to send someone with NPD into a tailspin.
If this was a mature person who took any personal responsibility for her actions, I believe you'd have received an apology. And you should. Maybe you will receive an apology later, but I doubt it.
If the stepfather knew she "wasn't right" then he really should've waited until they were alone to explain the situation to her. Here is a man who tried bribe you (by saying your meal would be comped) into falsifying your report. It's not hard to believe that he may have set a bad behavioral pattern that his stepdaughter picked up on long ago.
But whatever ... I also don't know her history and I also hope she gets some help, for the immediate grief from her loss and depression and perhaps for some more long term counseling.
Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 09/15/2014 08:08AM by nycrocks.