bgriffin Wrote:

> HA! Why yes it does!


I thought as much.

dspeakes Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> There actually are genetic differences in people
> that affect their ability to withstand stress.
> They did studies of people who were raised by
> abusive parents and either did or didn't become
> abusive themselves. There was a genetic
> difference between the "survivors who got past
> it" and the "future abusers."
>
> Not all women with PPD flip out, but some do, and
> there may be a genetic component. So for any of
> us to say, "I went through hell and never flipped
> out" is not really relevant since you may have the
> gene for "surviving stress" and she may not.
>
> Brains are complicated enough, and being awash
> with a confused soup of hormones following a
> miscarriage can produce totally unpredictable
> behavior.
>
> As I mentioned earlier, the hormones do not
> absolve her from financial responsibility for her
> actions, but they may preclude criminal liability.
> Of course, we only have the step-father's word
> for this, but her reaction to the picture of a
> happy baby picture tends to confirm that something
> did happen that she was not yet over. The death
> of a child is one of the most traumatic things
> that can happen to anyone, and if this was a
> desired and much-anticipated baby that was lost --
> it was a child, not a fetus to her and she will
> grieve it as much as if it had been a two-year-old
> she lost. And because the child was never born,
> she will not even get the sympathy and support
> that would normally be offered to a parent who
> lost a child. She did not get the closure of a
> funeral. She did not get sympathy cards and hugs.
> What she probably got was a lot of awkward
> changes of the subject and the advice to "get over
> it."
>
> I had a miscarriage while going through other
> personal crises (my mother in law was dying, and
> in the midst of that I learned one of my horses
> had cancer and had to be put down; two weeks after
> my MIL died, my grandmother passed) and I
> basically had to stuff my feelings to get through
> the rest of the issues we were dealing with. All
> these things happened within 6 weeks. The
> miscarriage was the first trauma, then it was
> every 2 weeks after that something else was
> demanding my tears.
>
> I remember how touched I was when a co-worker gave
> me a "Thinking of you" card after the miscarriage.
> But that was the only tangible sign of sympathy I
> received from anyone; the family was on death
> watch with my MIL. I wonder if anyone gave this
> young woman a sympathy card of any kind over the
> loss of her baby.
>
> Try not to judge her. Normal people don't do what
> she did. Luckily she acted out against the car,
> not the shopper. Nobody was hurt.
>
> BBird, you did a good thing, showing sympathy and
> support to her even after she attacked your car.
> It may mean the world to her that someone
> understands and cares.

I have never heard of a gene that would encourage one sibling to become abusive and not another. Since siblings come from the same parents and the same set of chromosomes, that seems very strange. I guess anything is possible. I am different from my brother and sister in that they are both rather hyper and I have always been much more calm.

I have never handled stress well, but I will turn it inward on myself and cry before I would think to blame or try to attack someone else. I can only go by my own self-awareness and do not mean to be judgmental of anyone.

What makes some people more introspective and introverted than others and what makes some people more external and extroverted and don't want to examine their behavior or take responsiblity? Any number of things.

Having learned about karma (whether you believe it or not) around 30, I decided to take personal responsibility for my actions and to try to live by the Golden Rule and do the right thing as much as possible. It's a choice I made and I feel it has served me well.

It's hard to know how much of our personality we bring with us into the world and how much is learned behavior, and how much may or may not be genetic.

How many people routinely act on impulse immediately while others may take in a number of considerations before they decide to speak or act?

My theory is that some people come to this life more enlightened than others and some people are wise beyond their years, just like some are more gifted in certain respects than others. It's all a learning experience to me. But "What The ____ Do I Know?" (cool film, by the way)!

BBird, I am glad you got your money! And it's certainly a wonderful act of kindness that you gave the books to the woman.

NYCrocks: "I have never heard of a gene that would encourage one sibling to become abusive and not another. Since siblings come from the same parents and the same set of chromosomes, that seems very strange. I guess anything is possible. I am different from my brother and sister in that they are both rather hyper and I have always been much more calm. "

Well, apart from the fact that each sibling gets half of their chromosomes from each parent, but not necessarily the same half, I never said anything about one sibling becoming abusive and not another.

They found subjects who were raised by abusive parents (many were in prison). They classified them based on whether they themselves did or did not become abusive. They found a correlation to a certain gene. I don't know if they tested siblings or not.

Basically what the study showed was that some people have this gene. If they have this gene and they are abused or placed under severe stress, they may abuse or act out in other ways.

If they don't have the gene and they are abused, they don't turn into abusers.

I think they also found a connection to immigrants from certain parts of Europe being less resilient when faced with stress, but I don't remember the details. And I can't remember which of the "brain" books I read mentioned the studies. It might have been "Incognito: The secret lives of the brain" but I listened to three similar books in a short period of time. Fascinating stuff.

Very interesting. Whether it's genetic or not, people who have been abused, without professional help, will usually abuse others or themselves (through substance abuse or otherwise), or both.

It is not true that "usually" people who are abused go on to abuse themselves or others. What is more true is that "usually" people who abuse have *been* abused. Not the same statistics at all.

Each abuser may abuse many children. But out of the many children who have been abused, few of them go on to abuse. And thank God for that because if all the victims grew up to be abusers, it wouldn't take too many generations before everyone was abusing everyone.

The genetic study helps explain why so few abused children turn into abusers. Most don't have the gene that keeps them from rising above it.