Dear Mysterious Customer,

You came into my store last month. I looked up from my iPhone and was instantly attracted to you. You were wearing jeans and a red jacket, and I was wearing my company uniform. Well, my shirt wasn't tucked in, and I was wearing the wrong colour of pants, but close enough. I watched as you browsed the cluttered, poorly-stocked store aisles, and I secretly hoped you'd come ask me for assistance (I always let the man make the first move). You finally did after exactly ten minutes.

You didn't talk much; I had to lead the conversation. Were you shy, or just playing hard-to-get? You were so focused on everything I was saying; it's like you were memorizing our entire conversation so you could replay it back in your mind later. I saw you checking me out, stealing a glance at my chest (where my nametag would have been if I had remembered to wear it that day). I introduced myself, and you thought nervously for several seconds before giving me your name.

After 15 minutes I finally determined what you were looking for. You objected about the price, size, colour, weight, style and brand, and then said you would have to think about it. You told me you might be back to buy it; I know you just wanted an excuse to come and see me again.

I watched you take a few pictures of the storefront before walking across the parking lot to your car. You sat for several minutes, and it looked like you were jotting something down. I imagined you were writing me a love letter, or maybe an entry in your diary. Were the photos for your scrapbook? As you drove off, I looked forward to seeing you again.

Alas, I was fired a few days later for unknown reasons. I never got to find out if you came back like you promised. Did you come back and ask for me? Did you return to profess your love for me? I may never know.

I think about you often. Even last week, as I was taking an extended, unauthorized smoke break at my new fast-food job, I looked up and thought I saw your car in the drive-thru line, but it was gone before I could see if it was you. A few minutes later, I thought I saw you in the dining room. I knew then my mind must have just been playing tricks on me, and I was delirious. Love does funny things to a person, doesn't it?

It's a longshot, but I am hoping you will see this ad and contact me. I tried to look you up in the phone book, but there are too many John Smiths. I know we made a long-lasting, once-in-a-lifetime connection that day, and I would love to see you again!

Signed, your soulmate Sally Salesclerk.

Jaymo, you win the weekend.

Oh geez that was freaking hilarious.

That was great and why I like to unwind here at this forum.

Jaymo, you are my idol. What a lovely piece of creative writing. I think it would be fun if others did their take on this.

rofl

This was way better than anything my students ever wrote in a creative writing class I taught.

Winner!

I hate the overuse of this word, but it fits here: AWESOME!

I think it's awesome that you used awesome even though you think awesome is an awesomely overused word!

That was great. Incredibly creative and totally relatable. Love it!

This is stellar! You just made my Sunday night. =)

Fabulous!!!!

No one, NO ONE could ever top this Jaymo ~ you are one of a kind!! Thank You! Yep, I love this forum!

The best post of 2014 hands down! That was awesome, Jaymo!

I laughed so hard I had tears come to my eyes and almost spit out my drink! THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU !!! I needed a good laugh.

THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!

But you forgot the part where the mysterious customer walked into the bathroom then came back out gagging because you hadn't gotten around to cleaning it this week.

Thank you for this!

Thanks for the kind words, I had fun writing it.

Well I just read it for the second time and laughed almost as hard as the first

Me too!!

You should use that as a writing example when applying to new shopping companies.

Jaymo - I haven't been on in awhile and this was the first thing I saw....freaking amazing!!!! I LOVE IT!

THANK YOU!! DDDDD

There is a mystery shopping writing contest. I can't remember who does it.

Isn't it Shopper's View?

You win the internet with this one!

Bravo!

Best ever!

Love it! Way to go, Jaymo.

Over the top, FUNNY!