The hardest thing about mystery shopping (or any kind of shopping) for me is that I consistently get ignored, judged, talked down to, and treated poorly at all types of shops. I do mystery shopping because I have a disability and I'm not able to get or hold a typical job in an office. I'm also a person of color. In almost every shop, I notice other customers getting greeted and salespeople helping them on their own. But I get ignored and treated in a condescending, judgmental manner in almost every shop I do. The way people treat me at mystery shops is the same as how I'm treated at regular shops and in life. Every time I do a mystery shop, I brace myself for poor, judgmental treatment. It hurts me so much that I have trouble coming home to do what I think is the hardest part - the writing of the report. The only time I'm treated well is when associates recognize me as a shopper. Then I often notice them trying too hard, in a "fake" manner. Does anyone else have poor, unfair experiences because of stigma against your outward appearance or demeanor? How do you handle it?

Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 07/15/2015 03:54PM by Myst.

For years I traveled with a woman friend who was in a wheelchair. We would get to a checkout counter and the cashier would accept Lois's purchase from her hand and then address me, thereafter ignoring Lois. Same at hotels or restaurants. I am a white female and have encountered many, many hotel bartenders who ignored unaccompanied women of all colors, servers who seated me at an unclean table when cleared and set-up tables were available, (most recently yesterday!), and similar crazy things, ("When your husband arrives I will explain the engine of this car.". During the 30+ years, starting in the late 1960s when I had an African-American partner, he and I had some shopping "adventures" that would curl your teeth. So, no, I am, unfortunately, not surprised. The blessing is that you are now in a position to point out, in an objective review of the services rendered (or not!) what mangers should want to know about their employees. The industry needs more shoppers of color and shoppers with visible ability differences to make managers wake up and smell the rotten apples among their employees!

Even aside from reporting your findings in the shop report, on your own you should go to the media and/or contact each and every corp HQ of the offending locations. Would love to see an undercover video media report at any of these nasty places.

The fellow who trained me to do video had an incident where a sales agent refused to show him a $2 million condo in NYC, openly, and loudly, declaring that no one black would ever live there. The manager overheard the interaction and fired the SA on the spot. Ya gotta just love recorded shops.

I'm sorry you go through that. And kudos to you for getting out there and doing it over and over. I hope we get to see more progress in our lifetimes. Education is really the only cure for ignorance.

It's true, OP and I am not surprised. I had posted this incident way back. The incident pointed out to me that discrimination is indeed alive and well in this day and age, in spite of the surge of political correctness. And this was proven from the words of the associate herself who accused the MSC's mystery shoppers (me and my partner in particular) as not qualified to do their jobs because they did not speak English or had any valid education. "At least get mystery shoppers who speak English or educated enough and qualified to do their jobs." She said she even spoke French, etc.,etc.

I was a rookie and my $15 shop was not accepted by the client who had asked the MSC to remove me from their D/base. The assistant manager claimed she did not serve us properly or well, because she suspected us to be 'thieves.' Note: The report was not even that bad. She just decided to point out where the men's shoes were and told us to look for them ourselves. And her defense was she thought we were thieves and did not speak English.

My companion was an accountant, I was a chemical analyst doing mystery shopping in a men's store in our very strict business attire dress code, straight from work. English was our medium of communication as we had different native languages, though both Canadian citizens. We were earning our living with the ability to speak and write English well. Ok, I must admit my companion had strong accent and I suppose I have a slight one and I am not making excuses for it but I have lived away from my original country longer than I have been in North America. As a matter of fact, I actually moved from USA.

The MSC allowed me to answer the assistant manager's claim. I ended my reply with, 'Toronto is a multicultural city. What would they do if they were serving people who hardly spoke English?' The MSC backed me up. They said the embellishments from the associate were so obvious... And they knew me.

I get a different kind of discrimination all of the time. I am techie (full-time job) and I carry a backback with at least three different devices in it at any given time (gave up on a purse too). Then add in that I am short and look really young, like 15 years younger than what I am.

Add in mystery shopping: asking a ton of questions, some are really dumb, looking suspicious by counting people or hovering in a department to see how long until someone assists me.

In the last month, it has been insinuated that my backback might have unpaid merchandise in it, that I am too young to afford a certain kind of phone and the oil change guys tell me that I wouldn't understand what all they did to my car, so they don't even bother.

I think anyone that does not fit into the "norm" gets treated differently these days.

Myst I hate that you are treated that way but you are doing really important work for minorities. The headquarters of these companies are reading how you are treated and hopefully that will bring about change.

i have always found that dressing well will help but some people are just ignorant. I went into a car dealer to purchase a car for work with a buyer who was a person of color. The salespeople all but ignored us, I told the sales manager who we were buying the car from that if it were not that the deal was already completed and we were just there for the paperwork we would not be buying the car. He made some lame excuses about the salespeople being busy.

I can appreciate your position on this subject however......I have the same types of interactions while shopping and I am an Italian girl who keeps the smile on and shining as much as possible.
The associates (most always) address each person around me but act as if I am not standing within earshot......I am usually looking lost and in need of assistance--and I am overlooked.........even when we clearly made eye contact!
I have considered several reasons why this happens to me and the simple answer is....also an arrogant sounding answer but.................
I am considered to be above average in the looks department. Men and women can be intimidated by a confident, well put together--PERSON. We all have unique experiences that form how we interact with others.....
So000 I am aware that there are jerks out there that are still stuck on stupid and have yet to learn the value of tolerance, acceptance, etc.........but I would love for you to ask yourself if there is any chance that some, or maybe even the majority of these associates could be.......insecure, having a terrible day, or just a flat out A-wad to everyone---everyone but the two or three other people within a 10 foot radius...????

On the flip side I have also been sexually harassed, bullied/intimidated....and treated like a child......and I have learned that NONE of these things happen because there is something "wrong" with ME.......

Keep your head up......you are you for a reason, and I bet you are all kinds of awesome

I often use a mobility scooter when I can in real life and find that it is almost an invisibility​ cloak. This is actually working for me as I am in the middle of a longterm project to covertly record store prices for merchandise. I can hang out at the store seemingly forever and no one pays any attention to me.

Myst: You are very valuable to your companies because you are telling the client exactly how you are being treated. You are a person of color and disabled. Be proud of the job you are doing! I promise you that the clients who pay good money to have you report to them what is happening *WILL* make changes based on your reports It may not happen over night but I had a situation where 3 associates were rude and disrespectful to myself and other customers and when I went back, they were all GONE.

I can't promise you the world will treat you differently as I too have been treated differently by associates who act like they are doing the company a favor even showing up for work.... Don't ever give up what you do!

While I am sympathetic to anyone who feels discrimination, I note that in most of the businesses I visit, those with a handicap device (wheelchair, scooter, walker, crutches, cane) and those with young children (in the cart, stroller or being carried) get a quicker and higher degree of attention than the able bodied without kids in tow. In my area the Hispanics and blacks who are not attired similar to the Caucasian mainstream in the store are indeed handled with suspicion.

We have come a long way and of course we could always all do a better job. Less than 50 years ago I was denied employment as an Administrative Assistant, but they could send me to the Accounting Department to be a statistician at half the pay. The reason? My boss for the Admin Asst job was a male who needed to travel to meetings and conventions. It would be 'inappropriate' for him to travel with a young, unmarried female. Similarly, conventions were 'inappropriate' places for women. I did find a reasonably well paying job elsewhere and when I went into Macy's to get a credit card I was told that I would need to have my husband or father co-sign for me. I was over 21 at the time.

During the 4 months that I was wheelchair bound I never felt more invisible in my life. That was a valuable lesson for me in being assertive. I really feel for the OP but everyone deserves to be treated with respect. When I am at a shop and being ignored for some pretty, young thing that the associate is flirting with I just walk over and tell them I need help. Never aggressive, just assertive with a smile on my face. They may not like it but it works.

To put this in further perspective. If a company allows it's employees to treat prospective customers this way, then think how they must treat the employees and prospective employees? Whatever is going on behind the scenes is worse than what is visible.

@Myst wrote:

The hardest thing about mystery shopping (or any kind of shopping) for me is that I consistently get ignored, judged, talked down to, and treated poorly at all types of shops. I do mystery shopping because I have a disability and I'm not able to get or hold a typical job in an office. I'm also a person of color. In almost every shop, I notice other customers getting greeted and salespeople helping them on their own. But I get ignored and treated in a condescending, judgmental manner in almost every shop I do. The way people treat me at mystery shops is the same as how I'm treated at regular shops and in life. Every time I do a mystery shop, I brace myself for poor, judgmental treatment. It hurts me so much that I have trouble coming home to do what I think is the hardest part - the writing of the report. The only time I'm treated well is when associates recognize me as a shopper. Then I often notice them trying too hard, in a "fake" manner. Does anyone else have poor, unfair experiences because of stigma against your outward appearance or demeanor? How do you handle it?

I visited stores when I was not at "that" demographic "dream building", getting close to houses, cars and other items I would like to own some day.It gave me incentive to touch, feel and eventually own those items.

I often shop for myself (not a mystery shop) a step or two lower than my demographic. I often get treated poorly. When I shop and a sales person actually gives me the time of day I may reward that person who works on commission with a sale. It shocks the heck out of them! Self made friends of mine do that also.

When I mystery shop I try to match the appearance and demeanor of the shoppers. I occasionally do not meet the satisfactory specifications of the clerk who is working on commission and wants to get to a customer that looks like they might be worth waiting on.

If I am not shown a tray of items at a jewelry store or given a test drive at a car dealer I write in my report that I was dressed casually and the attitude of the sales people were unacceptable. I can afford the item I was shopping and may have purchased it but for the salesperson's attitude. I DO NOT offer that I hope they fire the salesperson as you never know when you are shooting yourself in the foot until you feel the bullet when I walk out but I hope they get the message.

I earned the right to dress any way I choose and often do. I have known many people who do not buy the most expensive vehicles. They do live on golf courses other nice properties. They furnish their homes and own more than one home like you see in magazines, but they dress any way they feel like even when they shop.

As a entrepreneur I have created businesses and was thankful for feed back especially those that told me, "You are crazy" and "That will never work!" It was music to my ears. I was hearing, "Wish I thought of that first." Self made people love to share their experiences and mentor you.

@jpgilham wrote:

Myst I hate that you are treated that way but you are doing really important work for minorities. The headquarters of these companies are reading how you are treated and hopefully that will bring about change.

I really wonder what kind of difference it makes to the typical client. Discrimination happens so often and so routinely that clients probably don't care about the majority of it or feel that it's hurting their business in any way. If I tell a hardware store that its employees are dismissive to women or a grocery store that its cashiers are rude to people who don't speak English, I might as well have just told them the sky is blue.

It would be wonderful if the OP's reports opened the eyes of management to manifested prejudices among its front line workers, but I can only think of a handful out of hundreds of clients that ask for the information re. the ethnicity of the shopper, and none that ask about differently abled characteristics. How will the client be aware that it's discrimination, vs. a cranky shopper or simply surly salesperson?

I'm fairly ethnically mixed- I can and have passed for pretty much everything south of Sweden and North of the Sahara. I've never been treated poorly in my stomping grounds of New York, though I've actually had people start speaking to me in Arabic of all things (doing a luxury watch shop, I guess I fit the profile of a Saudi oil sheikh or something)

Outside of New York though, I have gotten a few issues, though my number one pet peeve is when people start talking to me in Spanish for no reason. While I am, partially, "Latino", I speak more Latin than I do Spanish! Lorem Ipsum over Como Estas.

EDIT: My favorite incident was pretty innocuous, but worth a laugh. I was driving coast to coast to California because I got a summer internship and I figured I'd do some mystery shops along the way. I was driving through Nevada and stopped off at a gas station, and the lady behind the counter was making small talk and asked me "What tribe are you from?", because apparently there were a few Native American reservations in the area. She probably asked that because I wear my hair long. I replied in my thickest New York, Alter Kocker accent that I was "One of the Chosen."

Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 07/17/2015 11:59PM by Misanthrope.

I am a female who sometimes gets ignored in favor of a male. Someone who tries to take my husband along to get my car repaired as frankly the two of us are usually treated better then me by myself. Lastly, I used to travel with someone who had a very high IQ but had cerabel paslsey. People used to ignore her and speak to me including such things as "What does she want to eat?" I told them to speak to her themselves.

I would incorporate that into my report. The client needs to know this .

I, too, and disabled. Furthermore, I do not give a rats rump what others think, I mean that kindly. You are the perfect shopper! Think how a business feels when they receive your report noting time, date, place, who, what, where, when and your perception of why. People do not intend to be marginalizing, nor do some people that are disabled mean to be marginalizing to... their own ends and intentions. You are the perfect shopper. Believe me, you are spot on what a company needs. People are just human and can learn. Do not hurt others in your pain. Do not contact any copr office and loose money in the act. I would not deal with you if I were a Mystery Shopping Company (MSC) as your actions are caustic. Be positive and upbeat, do a great job and get over what surrounds you. Surmond everything. They need to have a person that experiences how high the sidewalk is in relation to the ramp, is it functional?. Is there a ramp for people who are disabled that is not starting behind the store by the dumpster, . You are not there to be all caught up in yourself and find everyplace that someone could have done something for... "you". Remember, we are singing out of the same song book as I am also disabled. You are there to do a job. You are not there to cry and whine. Notice that I am speaking to you as a responsible adult with no malintent.
Just do your job. Do your job, stop being all wrapped up in yourself, and get the job done, then get paid. Getting paid is the reason that you shop, right. So, go do it, report your experiences, and do not be to hard on well intentioned people that are just not that good at their interactions with others that are disabled. We are physically disabled, as was Roosevelt... who was President of the United States. His mind was fully functional even tho his body was going to hell in a handbasket.
Stop being self centered and get on with a profitable life. Life sucks and then we move on. Check into the Federal "ticket to work" program as well. Be a great shopper for great companies. You deserve your best and they do as well . You can do it and do it better than others!

I understand. I am redheaded and green eyed an speak fluent Spanish, ... that can be a hoot! Sales people will work with each other in Spanish sometimes not knowing that I am aware.
What is it with people that they have to be offended on everything. People that do not speak Spanish will walk up to me, while I am in a conversation with another individual...in Spanish, and think I do not speak English. I get to assist others in the store, open the doors for ladies, smile and be happy, in two languages!

vita brevis, esse beatus!

Don, yea yea yea, Pax vobiscum to you, too. hahahaha

I live in south Florida and i have had to deal with that kind of ignorance. Parts of Davie racism is bad! Davie is one city that i most likely won't ever shop there again. I walked into this restaurant/bar and the cashier looked at me and said, "What are you doing here!?" It totally knocked me for a loop. My guest and i were the only blacks in the entire place. As a shopper we're unable to make a scene but im tempted to go back there with a few of my non-christian friends!! I was wondering about how to deal with this.

Hi Myst,

I feel sympathetic toward you. It does concern me that "every" shop is a bad experience. My advice is to log your experiences while being objective. For instance, if you feel someone did you wrong with the way they looked at you that is not enough. Back the wrongness with actual behavior that can be identified and reported. Then you should report away. You should think state agencies and labor boards in your state. This is no joke. Now if people are just rude, ah...this is not illegal. That is where you get them in the shop report. This type of behavior needs to be corrected by the company, who incidentally is hiring you for this.

As for being disabled and not being able to work in an office does not make sense to me. My advice here is to visit your local unemployment/employment office. Another fantastic agency that could help is the Office of Vocational Rehabilitation (OVR). They help disabled people get any type of job they can capably handle. They might actually pay for some supportive services. This is a federal type agency. They are in every state. Although they do take very long to help. Being disabled might make it more difficult to do a full time job. Then just do part time. OVR's minimum requirements for hours are usually 20 hours weekly commitment for them to help you.

You do not deserve to be hurt. You can empower yourself instead of letting these weird people victimize you. You can also use some of their tax money to help you with OVR or other types of services you may be entitled to. Also realize you are probably better than them because you are overcoming and contributing to society.

Good Luck!

Yes, I also experience a disability, and am overweight as well. That is the visual portion of the disability. People who see obese people who walk funny seem to automatically assume you walk funny cause you are fat, not the other way around. It's hurtful. The snide comments, second class treatment, etc. hurt. No doubt. However, that said serving ALL kinds of people is part of giving good service, so the service you receive as a person of color or a disabled person needs to be evaluated as meticulously as any other persons experience. After all, our directions say to evaluate service. Period. Not service to able bodied white Anglo Saxon males, or Hispanic females. It is to evaluate service. Period. I am proud when I have the guts to evaluate the service I receive in a factual manner. How can the companies that contract us know if the service to one segment of the population is bad if no one tells them. Keep up the good work and call it as you see it. It's what we get paid to do. Good bad or indifferent, our clients want to know. That's what they spend the money for. Buck up, you are not alone.

BTW here is one for you. I frequently use a mobility scooter. My husband is completely blind. He ran an auto salvage yard for twenty years before blindness and can still rebuild an engine. I also am very mechanical. The first woman in our area to take auto mechanis and auto body at the local trade school. We go to an auto parts store. The guy doesn't know who to talk to.....the "little lady" or the "blind guy". It's so funny to watch him process the question in his head, it's like a comedy film. He finally asks. "Did your mechanic send you with a parts list?" My husband calmly states. "I am the mechanic. And so is my wife. We work together. Can you find us a parts person please? We would like to skip the reception are. The guy apologized and finally asked how he could help us.

Personally, I will morph into the consumer FROM HELL, and set them up for some form of verbal attack.

Years ago and friend and I had taken a collection to buy another friend a patio set for a housewarming. We went to Fortunoff, dressed like bums and WERE IGNORED, for very close to an hour. After I became bored, just sitting at the set that we had decided upon, "I" approached a salesperson, and asked if they were paid commissions.

I was told yes. WELL, ...

... From there, I very snottily asked this person, if there had been a GOOD reason why I had been ignored for close to an hour, and since part of their income was contingent upon making a sale didn't they really think it might be wiser to move their a$$, and hustle, because I had become tired of waiting to be served.

IF you are being treated badly, it's partly because you put up with it. Your money is just as green as anybody else's and each dollar has the exact same value regardless of whose pocket it comes from.

I do try to dress well when I shop for real, because it IS reality and you will be treated better. But occasionally, I will still dress like a bum and go into high end stores, to see how the staff performs. Heaven help them if I'm treated badly. It's a mental exercise, and a bit of a personal challenge to see what I can accomplish.

You have to stand up FOR YOURSELF!

I have gotten allies on multiple occasions from other customers, when I reach the "EXCUSE ,ME. I WAS HERE FIRST." AND in some of the highest end stores. One of the best was when I had gone shopping after work, when I was in my 20's, still in my waitress uniform. It was our local "well to do town", and a very high end store. I thoroughly enjoyed telling the salesperson, that I couldn't quite understand her attitude towards me since I was reasonably sure that I made a lot more money than she did. This salesperson wound up being chastised by the other customers, too.

Instead of feeling bad about being ignored, start demanding better treatment. You'd be amazed how quickly a worker will start jumping through hoops if there's the slightest hint of a scene developing, ESPECIALLY when it was THEIR poor work habits, responsible for creating the situation.

When YOU refuse to be ignored, workers will pick up on the shift in YOUR attitude and bearing, and how you are treated will take care of itself.

A little dose of "their own medicine" can be a very powerful teaching aid.

Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 07/18/2015 08:26AM by Watching the Wheels.

@Watching the Wheels wrote:

Personally, I will morph into the consumer FROM HELL, and set them up for some form of verbal attack.

Years ago and friend and I had taken a collection to buy another friend a patio set for a housewarming. We went to Fortunoff, dressed like bums and WERE IGNORED, for very close to an hour. After I became bored, just sitting at the set that we had decided upon, "I" approached a salesperson, and asked if they were paid commissions.

I was told yes. WELL, ...

... From there, I very snottily asked this person, if there had been a GOOD reason why I had been ignored for close to an hour, and since part of their income was contingent upon making a sale didn't they really think it might be wiser to move their a$$, and hustle, because I had become tired of waiting to be served.

IF you are being treated badly, it's partly because you put up with it. Your money is just as green as anybody else's and each dollar has the exact same value regardless of whose pocket it comes from.

I do try to dress well when I shop for real, because it IS reality and you will be treated better. But occasionally, I will still dress like a bum and go into high end stores, to see how the staff performs. Heaven help them if I'm treated badly. It's a mental exercise, and a bit of a personal challenge to see what I can accomplish.

You have to stand up FOR YOURSELF!

I have gotten allies on multiple occasions from other customers, when I reach the "EXCUSE ,ME. I WAS HERE FIRST." AND in some of the highest end stores. One of the best was when I had gone shopping after work, when I was in my 20's, still in my waitress uniform. It was our local "well to do town", and a very high end store. I thoroughly enjoyed telling the salesperson, that I couldn't quite understand her attitude towards me since I was reasonably sure that I made a lot more money than she did. This salesperson wound up being chastised by the other customers, too.

Instead of feeling bad about being ignored, start demanding better treatment. You'd be amazed how quickly a worker will start jumping through hoops if there's the slightest hint of a scene developing, ESPECIALLY when it was THEIR poor work habits, responsible for creating the situation.

When YOU refuse to be ignored, workers will pick up on the shift in YOUR attitude and bearing, and how you are treated will take care of itself.

A little dose of "their own medicine" can be a very powerful teaching aid.

If I were not on a shop I would not wait an hour for service. I may ask the salesperson if they are on commission after five minutes have passed and they were not with another customer as they are clearly indicating I do not "qualify" as a person who can afford to make a purchase. I would tell them I will speak to the store manager. Managers have assisted me themselves. I may shop there on a different day if a different salesperson assists me properly when I return. If I was on a shop I could not make a scene or become noticeable as I may want to shop there again. I would not reveal myself. I would waste as much as their time as they would allow me to waste because time is money and of course I would not buy anything unless the guidelines tell me I must. The report would mention that the salesperson's attitude was not acceptable. I would factually describe my experience and the how the salesperson performed or failed to perform and let the reader make the judgment if that was satisfactory without prompting with an opinion.

It's not fair and I'm sorry that things are stressful on the job. I especially have had issues being prejudged at auto dealerships filled with all white men trying to tell this "little single girl," what she can afford or what she can get with her lady brain. I think some shops are worse than others and you can pick and choose by diverse locations as well. However, I do agree with others here that you can make a difference by reporting racism and all forms of discrimination. Stay strong and speak out! However, you don't always need to be brave...in my humble opinion.