When I first started doing mystery shops, I never would have thought of it as a dangerous career path. I mean how dangerous is it getting an oil change, or ordering some food, or doing a grocery store audit after all?! I have read of some fellow shoppers who have shopped in some very sketchy neighborhoods which can get the heart rate up for sure. I also remember reading about a shopper who had someone enter their vehicle and commandeer it for whatever reason (sleep or taking a break if I recall correctly). Another shopper encountered some flying insects of the stinging variety in an extremely entertaining post not long ago. That could have been dicey if the shopper was allergic to bee stings or had the evil devil spawn set their sights on some human prey.

I have one to add to the growing list of mystery shop hazardous duty assignments (feel free to add yours as well).

I did one of my favorite mystery shops last week -- getting paid to play golf -- how cool is that! Think about it, all expenses paid to play some of the nicer courses in my area and I don't have to hit the twilight rates and walk in order to afford 18 holes. I have found nirvana and it IS mystery shopping...lol!!! Alas, perfection on Earth comes with a price indeed. I played a round last week, was able to play 18 holes by myself which I really enjoy on occasion. The weather was absolutely perfect, low 80s, blue skies, little white puffy clouds floating aimlessly by. The kind of day not often seen in late August in my neck-of-the-woods. I didn't see another golfer in front of or behind me for the majority of the round. No one pushing you from behind or slowing you down in front. I played three balls per hole and really had a chance to work on my game (which admittedly isn't very good....lol!) One ball I played straight up for my official score and the other two gave me the chance to try some different clubs and shots out. I shot my best score of the year and life was good. To top off a near perfect day, I found a $20 bill on the cart path with no one in sight...what a day.

I got home completely relaxed and thinking about what a great day it had been and settled down to knocking out the report. Granted, perfection does have a price and the report is fairly involved. As I sat in my comfy recliner working on the extensive narratives, I noticed I kept itching my legs. At first, I didn't think much of it, but eventually, the proverbial light bulb went off -- BUGS!!! I looked very closely at my legs for ticks and didn't see anything. In fact, nothing looked out of the ordinary, so I sat back down to continue my report. After a few more times scratching itchy legs I remembered another bug that you can't see with the naked eye -- CHIGGERS. I immediately broke out into a cold sweat as I pondered my situation. Flashbacks of my last chigger encounter three years ago consumed my thoughts. I jumped up out of my comfy recliner and nearly sprinted to the shower leaving a trail of clothing in my wake. A long hot shower later with lots of scrubbing and I felt all was good. I thought I caught them early and all would be fine. Ha ha ha, wishful thinking by my now doomed soul.

I went back to my writing chair and finished my report.

The next day I awoke to a familiar itching around my ankles. I bolted upright and surveyed my situation. Small red bumps by the hundreds -- maybe thousands had appeared from my neck down. Back to the shower for another round of scrubbing to get rid of any that had eluded me the night before...all to no avail.

Over the next day or two, the bumps turned into blisters (some as large as golf balls around my ankles where I made a mistake of getting a lot of sun the next day. My flawed thinking was that maybe the sun would help heal them -- it doesn't and makes them much worse for anyone wondering. Some of these pure evil microscopic critters found their way to between my toes, biting there causing swelling and blisters. My ankles swelled up to the point where I could hardly put a shoe on. I discovered bites in areas that I wouldn't wish upon my worst enemy. Actually, maybe on my worst enemy would be fine...lol!

Then came the itching. 24/7 itching that at first I was able to use will-power to avoid. As strong-willed as I am generally, I caved and began scratching and scratching and scratching. It felt soooo good to scratch, but only for a moment then the moment's gone (song reference intentional).

So here I sit, looking like something out of a leper colony, or fire burn victim, or maybe someone with a highly contagious form of a not yet discovered malady. You could take pictures of my body, show it to teenagers, and tell them this is what happens when you have pre-marital sex and we would have the first celibate generation in the history of mankind!!! One look and sex of all types would cease immediately...lol!

My wife won't let me leave the house without pants and a long-sleeve shirt on. I heard her muttering something about not signing up for this nonsense as I hobbled up the stairs.

There's no moral to my rambling story here, no pearls of wisdom to take away from my misfortune, no sympathy sought or desired. Just a thought about how quickly life can go from near perfection one minute, to severe discomfort overnight. From being on top of the world, to being the buffet for a nest of hungry, evil chiggers. The one analogy that keeps coming to mind is "An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure!" Truer words were never spoken and I will never golf in the Summer again without applying liberal doses of insect repellent at least from the waist down.

Whoever said that mystery shopping isn't hazardous duty......

You poor thing (she says while laughing uncontrollably). Just know I'm laughing at you, not with you

@msimon-2000 wrote:

My wife won't let me leave the house without pants and a long-sleeve shirt on. I heard her muttering something about not signing up for this nonsense as I hobbled up the stairs.

Thank heavens for the wife's good sense. Leaving home without pants could land you in a whole lot more mess than chiggers. I can envision now your explanations to the judge. . .

Do get better soon. Calamine lotion? Gold Bond? Even some Hydrocortisone cream might take out a whole lot of the itch and inflammation.

Ooh, Cettie's got competition!

Benadryl !!

Ah, bugs! Most of us are in North America, and it's summer here...I am sure there are lots of bug stories in the MS reports all over the place right now. I recently did a shop during which I had to constantly swat at the things, and one of them STILL managed to bite me. As someone else who reacts badly to bug bites, you do have my sympathies, msimon. I hope that you feel better soon.

Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 08/27/2015 08:06AM by OceanGirl.

I'd not let that stop me from playing golf again if that is your passion. Just go to the sporting goods mega store and get some spray with a very high concentration of deet chemical and spray yourself down before the game. When you get home, take a shower to remove the deet so you don't get it on your furniture and wash the clothes as well. It's not the fault of the golf course, as they can't control mother nature. You should have sun block on your face, neck and arms. You should have pest spray on when going outdoors around water and brush.

Here is a brand I find to be very effective and a good price: [www.amazon.com]

I had to google "chiggers." I do not know how you folks live down there in the south and survive. Everything there is trying to eat you!

I'm one of those "I hate chemicals and everything has to be natural" people. But I could never make it without my "Off" or similar product. I'd be eaten alive. I recommend you never step outside in the summer without it again.

Hate those chiggers. What a downer to a perfect day. Love your description of the day, I was laughing like crazy. Thanks!

I also had to google chiggers. They sound like a nightmare. And your situation sounds miserable!

Sometimes you're the windshield. Sometimes you're the bug.
Sometimes you're the Louisville slugger. Sometimes you're the ball.
Sometimes the bugs are chiggers and climb up to your slugger and chew on your, well, yeah.

@elcarev68 wrote:

Sometimes you're the windshield. Sometimes you're the bug.
Sometimes you're the Louisville slugger. Sometimes you're the ball.
Sometimes the bugs are chiggers and climb up to your slugger and chew on your, well, yeah.

This may be the most fantastic observation ever.

Welcome to adventures in Cettie-Land!! Next thing you know you'll be wearing a garbage truck worth of asbestos powder while out-running a goat and finding a dead body in the bushes.

You know, I don't think I've heard the asbestos story yet, Cettie!!!

I had to Google chiggers. OMG! I'll be moving to Tennessee next year and this is just another reason I need to convince the boyfriend that Arizona is better.

I understand your pain. I did an apartment shop once too that was hazardous they made me sign a waiver and wear a hard hat just to look a them... UGH!

Rub with an alcohol pad. Vigorously. They will usually turn loose and die. I HATE the little monsters!

Mitigator scrub will work for chiggers; I just checked their website. I've used it for fire ants and wasp stings and it really works. The military uses it. I always have some on hand at home and in my camping gear.

OMG! msimon-2000, You sound like a suburbanite You have no idea what "Hazardous duty" is. .

There is a big bad world out there called the INTER-CITY". "Hazardous duty" is when you take a shop not knowing the demographics of the location. You go to the location and you do not look like you are from around there.. Your vehicle does not match the vehicles you see on the street in age or condition. Your clothes does not match the clothes the people on the street are wearing and in the back of your mind you fear for your safety. You feel if you get out of your car you may not find your car when you get back from your shop.. Welcome to the ghetto, the intercity,

If you were from that demographic or you received special training in "street smarts, which included wearing the correct clothing. driving a vehicle that was not worth stealing you would still need to know how to blend into the culture. You would know how to respond to simple questions like, "are you buying or selling drugs?", or respond to a female who looks three times older than her age asking you if you would like a sexual favor because she needs money to by drugs, or someone asking you for "change", You may not be identified as "THE MYSTERY SHOPPER A LONG WAY FROM HOME". Even if you are not revealed it is "hazardous duty" as even someone with those special skills may be the victim of a random act of violence.. "Shots Fired" is often heard on police radios even during daylight hours.

If any shopper finds themselves in that situation (in the "inter-city" the best thing you can do is keep on driving. until you get home. Contact your scheduler, report your observations and suggest that they offer the shop with the requirements that suburbanites need not apply. Only shoppers who meet the demographic of an "inter-city resident" need apply. Those shoppers who do not match the inter-city demographic proceed at their own risk.

The schedulers often do not know where they are sending shoppers. Shoppers must not put themselves in danger for a few dollars. The shop may offer a large bonus as one or more shoppers may have flaked the shop without reporting the scenario they observed. A shopper should not be reprimanded for flaking if they were not alerted to the special skills necessary to perform the shop

Schedulers often ask for a male or a female or that the shopper be fluent in the language used at the location of a shop. Schedulers must also ask the client if the shopper might be revealed as a shopper if they did not have "inter-city" skills. Knowing and alerting the shopper they need special skills would save the scheduler the panic of trying to replace the "flake" that had no idea where they were being sent. and got out of the danger zone to shop another day.

Flipping the coin the shopper should have the skills to play the part of a wealthy shopper. The clerks and servers can spot you in a minute. All you would have is a red face from embarrassment and possibly a hefty check to pay if it was a high end restaurant shop that was invalidated because you were revealed as a Mystery shopper. You forgot to read the menu from left to right not caring what the price was on the right side of the menu. Ordering the least expensive items on the menu indicate you may be a Mystery Shopper.

You may be told in a snotty voice from a commissioned sales person, "You don't belong here." I often shop appearing to be a step or two below my demographic. If the salesperson shows me courtesy, to their shock and amazement, I may reward them by making a purchase. It teaches the salesperson, "Good things happen to good people". Don't judge a book by it's cover.

I mentored that principle to many employees. I learned that principle from associates that mentored me. The associates are self made millionaires and multimillionaires who often dress down when they shop. They are looking for respect and courtesy from salespeople regardless of their appearance. They remember where they came from and earned the right to be there. They encourage salespeople who show courtesy and respect. When they pay for the item they can obviously afford they tell the clerk to remember why they were rewarded the sale. The salesperson showed respect and courtesy and it did not go unappreciated.



Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 08/29/2015 12:18AM by Davetheshopper.

Yikes. I am another who has to google chiggers. One good thing about winter. No bugs.

I got sent to an inner city gas station where I did not fit the demographic at all. Had to wait for the prostitutes to move out from under the main ID sign and was asked by one of them "hey baby, which way do you go?". Also was treated to gunshots fired overhead as I took the "overall from a distance" photo, snapped quickly before the crowd of people running away from the crime scene got into the photo too. I have never been back to within 3 miles of the area and at least three times per week we hear on the news that there's been more shootings down there.

I've said it before, and I'll say it again, Cettie. You need to write a book. Not just for your experiences, but your story-telling skills are amazing. It would be a hit!

@Cettie wrote:

I got sent to an inner city gas station where I did not fit the demographic at all. Had to wait for the prostitutes to move out from under the main ID sign and was asked by one of them "hey baby, which way do you go?". Also was treated to gunshots fired overhead as I took the "overall from a distance" photo, snapped quickly before the crowd of people running away from the crime scene got into the photo too. I have never been back to within 3 miles of the area and at least three times per week we hear on the news that there's been more shootings down there.

I literally laughed out lout at that. Although the police may have appreciated your photos of those running away from the scene.

@Lisa4984 wrote:

I've said it before, and I'll say it again, Cettie. You need to write a book. Not just for your experiences, but your story-telling skills are amazing. It would be a hit!

I was thinking of writing a book. They would put it on the fiction shelf.

I don't know how to fix the bugs at the golf course but I think that you should enter your write up somewhere and get paid for it. It made me sympathize and laugh the way you wrote it. Nice job.

Cettie, it's all in the name. The real story of mystery shopping.

Aren't all these stories demonstrations of what gives the name 'mystery' to mystery shopping?

Davetheshopper...I do live in the suburbs, but don't let that fool you. I am comfortable in most environments, including the inner-city. There have been a few times where my 'spidey-sense' started tingling, but all ended well. I have survived car bombs in Peru planted by the terrorist group Sendero Luminoso in the early 90s when they were very active. One blew out my apartment windows and showered me in flying glass shards. I've survived a helicopter crash. I made it out alive after a long deployment to the murder capital of the world -- Bogota, Colombia. I'm a cancer survivor. And maybe most hazardous of all, have survived 21 years of marriage to the same woman...(bless her soul for putting up with me -- lol!)

Hazardous duty comes in many shapes and sizes. I'll take the inner-city almost any time over these dam chigger bites...lol!

The chiggers are chiggering.