With the lack of jobs available recently, i've started to branch out a bit. I grabbed a few apartment shops which were easy, but i'm actually a little nervous about this senior living one I got coming up tomorrow. I was already hit with more questions from the woman during my initial phone call than i've dealt with on almost all my past shops. I handled it well I think, but I feel like this is a shop where the chances of being outed are higher than most(at least out of the ones i've done). Do you guys like doing these? Any tips to get through it? How long should it last?What's a decent fee for these(i'm getting 70)? Also, i'm 30, so it's a little funny that i'm putting my 79 year old mother in an assisted living home, but that's the scenario they wanted.

Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 01/10/2016 06:32PM by jay225.

First off, you need to act somewhat older than your acutal age, I think. Second, be ready to a whole set of questions that would be used by any AL community that uses a standard protocol for "qualifying" both the "loved one" and the visitor.

What makes you and/or mum think that this might be a time for AL? (Withdrawn, not taking meds, not eating well, afraid of falling)
What worries you? (Her safety on stairs or in tub?, etc Not taking meds, not eating properly)
Is she ambulatory? (Be sure to say yes!)
What does she like to do?
What meds does she take? (You can name the ills if not the actual meds).
Where does she live now (look on a real estate site and find a town home community nearby. "She lives in the town hiome area east of( the big shopping center, route xxx, the park) and cannot handle the stairs anymore".)
Who will be making the decision/needs to be consulted?
How much is her home worth? Where else will the funds come from?
Is she or her deceased spouse a US veteran who was ever stationed in a combat zone?
What, if any memory issues does she have? (Unless your scenario calls for a need for memory care, she is "pretty sharp."

YOU should be the decision maker. "Mom just wants me to get this DONE." She took 3 years to decide which car to buy once and does not want to go through that again. I have all of the POAs necessary.

Good luck. Yes, this is the graduate course in MS.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 01/10/2016 07:39PM by walesmaven.

This was easy for me because I did have to help my father. You can talked about your elderly parent was not eating well, like the food might be spoiled. They might be forgetting or confusing their medication. They were not taking showers or baths like they should. Some elderly people's schedules get confusing and they are awake at night, and sleeping during the day. You can say they have a history of falling, and they don't want to use their walker. Elderly people get isolated, and having them be in the company of other elderly people is good for them. Some elderly people pick at their skin and bleed easily, and need to be watched but say you can't be around them enough. Elderly people need exercise, even if it is just walking to lunch or wherever they are going in the assisted living facility. They might need physical therapy so many times a week, and you can't commit to that.
They want to know the family dynamics as well. Like who will come to visit ect. .

Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 01/10/2016 07:54PM by breestjon.

I disliked my first Senior Living shop, because it required so much preparation, and I knew it would run at leas 1 1/2 hours. I did it for the money. Now I actually prefer them over regular apartment shops and new home shops.
1. They pay better
2. There are less requirements to overlook, such as asking fair housing questions.
3. There are virtually no surprises in them (like there are in new home shops) that require you to be alert and resourcefully think on your feet to dodge curve balls.
4. You will know your target and have a good idea of what to expect on site, after having listened to him/her talk to you on the phone for 10 minutes.
5. You will have an appointment with your target, so that you don't have to deal with your target being out on tour with someone else or deal with real clients interrupting your shop and forcing you to make an excuse to abort the shop and come back another day.
6 These shops flow more naturally and are easier than apartment or new home shops, even though they take longer sometimes.
7. Did I mention they pay better?

The best tip I can give you is keep it as real as possible and be prepared. More than any shop you have probably done, you will have to study and rehearse your part. Surely you have had a relative who could fit a similar scenario to the client requirement. If not, you will need to use your imagine to create such a scenario.

Even if you are only 30, you could act as though you are the responsible relative. Your birth mother died when you were very young, and you do not really remember her. You were adopted by your stepmother when she was 40. While you are conducting your shop, use an older relative such as a grandmother or great-grandmother in your mind. Picture her in your mind whenever the target asks you questions about your 79 year old mother. The target will ask you questions about your mother, so be ready and keep it as close to your real life as possible. The target asks what kinds of activities your mother enjoys. You think of what activities your great grandmother liked. What kinds of medications does your mother take? You think of what ailments your great grandmother had. You are an actor; immerse yourself in your role.

I would only do senior living shops as video shops. I would expect $80 - $100, but $70 would be a maybe. It depends on the shopper. I did one written senior living shop, and the narrative was just too time consuming for the pay.

Expect your target to ask these questions. Know the answers now so you will be ready tomorrow. You have only one shot to get it right once you are on site.
What is your mother's name?
How old is she (probably already stated on phone call)?
Does she need assistance getting around?
What medications does she take? She may even ask who her doctor is.
What is her living situation? Where does she live? Do you live close?
Have you discussed this with her? How does she feel about moving to AL?
What are her finances? How will she pay for AL? Does she have insurance?
Who is the decision maker? Does she drive?
Does she have memory problems?
What is the move in time frame? When will you make a decision?
What are her hobbies? Does she have close friends?
Do you have siblings? How often do they visit your mother? How often do you visit her?

Immerse yourself in your role to the point that is feels like you really are looking for AL for your mother when you are with the target, and you will have a great shop. Don't be afraid to let your emotions come out as they would if you really were shopping for AL for your loved one. AL agents are empathetic and not so focused on making the sale the way many apartment agents are. I hope these tips have helped you. Good luck on your shop tomorrow. Immerse yourself in your role and enjoy.

I'm thinking: If you are 30 and she is 79, shouldn't she be your grandmother and not your mother? Is that allowed for her to be your grandmother?

I found the shop depressing because the residents looked bored and depressed. Me, ever imagining myself going into one of those places, is sad to say the least....

But not all shoppers feel this way. I guess I was hypersensitive to how it would feel to be in one of those places and not being able to tend to your own garden and have pets, etc. etc.

I appreciate the great responses so far, i'm taking note of it all. It's too late for her to be my stepmother though, I already gave that info over the phone. Has to be mother, not grandmother. When they asked if i've discussed moving her into a home, and what she thinks about it, all I could think of was the Sopranos with Tony and Livia so I just said she's not thrilled about it, but i'm sure I will get her to come around to it soon. The person I dealt with on the phone seemed really stern compared to most phone interractions i've had. Hopefully she won't interrogate me with THAT many questions when i'm there. I'll be better ready though after reading this thread, and the guidelines I got from the msc are pretty good as well.

The person you spoke with was trying to prepare herself and qualify your "loved one." Depending on the type of facility they may or may not be suited to deal with memory care. To me $70 would be fine for a written shop because they flow easily and take about an hour on site. The difficulty of the report will obviously depend on the MSC.

When determining a relative I say it's my mother then use my grandmother's health issues and medication history. I pick an age between the two because mom is too young while grandma is too old by their parameters. Since there are a plethora of senior living facilities in my area, I switch back and forth using their real first names and a variety of aliases for the last names.

This is to SunnyDays, you might be surprised by some of the facilities available. While I've seen a few crappy ones, a lot allow pets and even have community garden areas.

Great job of thinking on your feet and using the Sopranos. You used what you know from your real life. Your target probably WILL ask a lot of questions, so you need to be ready. Convince yourself of your role, believe it for an hour or so, and your target will believe it too. If you really get stumped, you can always answer her question with a question of your own. "What is her budget?" If you can't think of an answer, you might say, "How much do your rooms cost?" Sometimes you can say you don't know the answer. "What kind of medication does she take." You could say, "I am not sure exactly, but she has a pill box and one of the pills is for her mild arthritis."

Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 01/10/2016 08:43PM by AZwolfman.

Be very, very, very prepared for this shop. I thought I was, and it was far more in depth than I thought it would be. It was also much more emotional than I thought it would be, because in a real situation (I think) you would not be delighted going through this process. They will want to know ALLLL about you and your family and will put you on the spot, in a very compassionate way. They will want to know what your relative likes/dislikes and how they currently live, in very much detail. They might ask about your extended family and family relationship situation (such as, why are you doing this? What involvement will your brother be in the process? What other surviving relatives are there? Who will be taking care of her estate? What is happening with her current living situation? Does she want to move here, or would she be reluctant?) They will then (well, in my case anyways it happened this way) try to take what you said and match it up with what they have to offer.

The tour was harder to take than I anticipated, as well. But people were very friendly and nice for the most part. Even in the best of places, I guess, some things are unavoidable so just be able to take it in stride.

I found the report lengthy and difficult because there was so much conversation and discussion. But, it was my first time and might get easier over time.

Number one tip: Make sure you have a very detailed and thorough understanding of your 'situation' before you go in.

Let us know how it goes!!!

If your target is doing their job, they are indeed going to ask you questions for the first part of your visit. They might do it through review of what you gave, or they might start from scratch. You need to have a clear picture in your mind of your mother's situation and the role you and your family plays in her current care. I don't know what ages you gave on the phone, but follow suit. They certainly aren't going to question you. Your mother could have been older when giving birth or maybe she just has another reason for needing care at an earlier age.

I like these shops though. I always have my mother in my mind and things she went through, and I can draw from other family members, too.

Good luck!

I did these shops a few years ago. The fees were higher than 70. I did clusters of 2 - 3 in the same area to compare. I do see the ones I've done being advertised for 70 dollars now. They were a lot of work but I liked them.

I liked them for a few reasons: 1) They paid enough so I could really do one job or two per day and know I earned enough for that day. The reports were a lot of writing, which I don't mind.2) I liked the narrative pieces because they were free flowing, you did not feel like it was a robotic exercise. A lot of the questions were around your impressions and feelings. Let the creativity flow! and 3) Gift at the end.

For the most part, the places I evaluated were high end. I am pretty comfortable in that setting, and never felt uncomfortable. I took my parents and added 20 years at the time. I think you can be as naive as you are, because a lot of people are. Men have children in their fifties sometimes, so you could be the youngest sibling, with other siblings living out of state, and you have to find a place for your 70-80 year old father. Why not. Maybe your mother left him years ago.

I always asked about recreational opportunities, the daily routine, what was included in the price, and to see several units and price comparison. I also asked about a chapel or the ability to attend religious services. Usually they will offer this info, but I was always prepared to keep the conversation going.

The depressing part for me was how if they got too impaired, too much of a problem, every place I evaluated moved them out. It's not the last stop for old folks. I'd have to bit my tongue from voicing my opinion thinking they were milking folks out of their incomes then sending them to nursing homes to die.

The visit always ended up with some gift: a pie, bread, muffin - a sign that your loved one will feel at home! Take one, check it out. No worries. I think they get all types of people looking at places.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 01/10/2016 09:50PM by RobinMarie.

I have to say the role of who is interviewing who, becomes slightly reversed. You would think, the person with the elderly parent is doing the interviewing and asking the questions. In reality, it is more like the target person at the facility is interviewing you. I think, if you have some good questions for them, it might make you appear more real.

Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 01/10/2016 11:12PM by breestjon.

@Chix wrote:

Be very, very, very prepared for this shop. I thought I was, and it was far more in depth than I thought it would be. It was also much more emotional than I thought it would be, because in a real situation (I think) you would not be delighted going through this process. They will want to know ALLLL about you and your family and will put you on the spot, in a very compassionate way. They will want to know what your relative likes/dislikes and how they currently live, in very much detail. They might ask about your extended family and family relationship situation (such as, why are you doing this? What involvement will your brother be in the process? What other surviving relatives are there? Who will be taking care of her estate? What is happening with her current living situation? Does she want to move here, or would she be reluctant?) They will then (well, in my case anyways it happened this way) try to take what you said and match it up with what they have to offer.

The tour was harder to take than I anticipated, as well. But people were very friendly and nice for the most part. Even in the best of places, I guess, some things are unavoidable so just be able to take it in stride.

I found the report lengthy and difficult because there was so much conversation and discussion. But, it was my first time and might get easier over time.

Number one tip: Make sure you have a very detailed and thorough understanding of your 'situation' before you go in.

Let us know how it goes!!!

What I tried to do was become the part: Looking for a retirement home for my loved one. I had to forget I was the shopper but instead, I had to be the person who would make a serious choice for my family member. I answered the questions she peppered at me with abandon. She was there to do her job and I was there to do mine.

In my case, no matter what she hit me with, I tried to answer the questions based on my mom. To me, this was the most important aspect. You had to ask/and answer questions based on the belief that your family member needed to find a place for that level of care. Step out of who you are and step into the level of care provider.

Not sure if this is really a tip besides just having a detailed backstory before you call, but...
When I did my AL shop, someone on the tour asked if my dad was a vet. My dad is a Vietnam vet, but I had aged him 10 years to meet the guidelines. I had to do some panic math to make sure I did not place him in the wrong war.

I actually have experience in eldercare....trust me, we healthcare types are generally inclined to give people the benefit of the doubt. If a 30-year-old came in and said that they were looking at options for their 79-year-old mother, this could easily be explained by adoption, and we're not allowed to ask. Most people in healthcare would just be thinking, "Oh, poor thing, having to find eldercare for their parents! And how brave they seem, to be doing this at 30!" A more knowledgeable or experienced person may suspect they're being shopped, but this won't necessarily happen.

$70 sounds like a very good fee to me, for this shop. Maybe it's the companies I'm with, but similar shops around here only seem to average about half that much.

Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 01/11/2016 04:38AM by OceanGirl.

Most people don't look for assisted living facilities on a regular basis. Since we need to allow them to lead, it helps to play the role of someone who is unfamiliar of what to look for and what to ask.

@breestjon wrote:

I have to say the role of who is interviewing who, becomes slightly reversed. You would think, the person with the elderly parent is doing the interviewing and asking the questions. In reality, it is more like the target person at the facility is interviewing you. I think, if you have some good questions for them, it might make you appear more real.

Indeed, many of the clients include a question asking if the SA did at least two-thirds of the talking. One of my favorite questions to ask at the end of an interaction is something like, "What questions have I not asked that I should have asked you?" Really, the shopper here needs to know their back story but be pretty ignorant of what AL may or may not offer.

I did a couple of these and what I found most annoying was the long form which wanted me to regurgitate everything the associate told me about the company. I could not remember all the details manily b/c the visit is so long and involved.

My advice is to look sad, like you are holding back tears while you are thinking of the answers to the questions that are thrown at you. And just say no to the veteran question, less to write up.

PS The facilites I have visited have been absolutely lovely!

the visit went fine. I was hit with a bunch of random questions, but nothing too difficult to handle after preparing for a little bit on my own, as well as the help here. what's killer though is the report i'm filling out right now ahhhhhhhhh... yea, a lot of questions, and narratives. wouldn't do this again for under $100 due to the report.

well, it looks like you are all good now, but if you decide to do any of these in the future, make sure you have a different name, email, and phone number to use. May seem like a no-brainer, but it was not specified in the guidelines and the scheduler knew it was my 2nd shop. I was used to being told databases are connected or to use different info, as when I do the child care facility shops. Any of these will come up in their database (if its the shop Im thinking, they are all related) and I basically got chewed and called a liar, or that I was playing games, out because I said I had never visited a place like that before when she had pulled up all the notes from my visit at another place just 2 days before. At least she did't accuse me of being a MS! Whooopsie lol.

Different clients have very different forms. There is one that is so redundant that I will never do another at any price under $200!

In future I advise you to do as I do; ask to see the survey before committing to the shop. Some are quite simple!

The Intellishop ones near me I will do for $95, with a smile on my face.

Often the Intellishop reports are made unnecessarily difficult by the way they break up the sections. It ends up being disjointed and would never follow the natural flow. Otherwise, I don't find them all that hard to do anymore. They actually seem to like the concept of just regurgitating the questions while adding lots and lots of detail.

I do think $70 is a fair pay. I have had a sister and a mother who might have needed assistance. The shop is easy if you have the knowledge. I do think that there are lots of people who don't know what to say or ask, that is why you are interviewing them. Mention that it is future knowledge that you need. The Guidelines are not set in stone for the person who needs the assistance. Ask the scheduler if you can use your aunt who has no relatives but you. You don't need to know everything, mainly the age would qualify.

Yes, the pay is better in comparison to most apartment homes, as well as some new homes shops. Yet you really have to have a different mindset shopping senior living vs a new home or apartment due to the emotional attachment involved. Ive done 4 of these, and although it has hotten easier over time, it is really difficult holding back tears & real feelings with your given scenario. Even more, you'll actually meet real live-in residents and become accepted temporarily in their world, and that is tough. You are constantly reminding yourself to "hit & stick" to the target + guidelines, which makes this shop more challenging.

All the while, its a good shop, until you get an executive director as your target (as opposed to the marketing director or sales associate). The ED as a target is next to impossible to get, due to the aforementioned employees being the first line of communication that you'll face.

I have done one in November and recently got a voicemail to see if I still wanted that tour. The sad thing for me is I lost my mom and dad so I was really in a funk after making the call. I promised myself to skip these next time because, though I don't mind acting at times on phone shops (not sure it's the same shop you are referencing here of if any of you took ones which require a tour), but pretending I still had my mom made me feel awful.

ED hit the nail on the head

I can't say this is always the case with the Executive Director. I had a shop and it was surprisingly easy to reach the ED. OTOH, when I arrived she was not there and another employee took over. It was good and bad since he was not as versed in SOP as her. It made for a quicker shop and slightly longer report. The important thing is the shop was accepted since my recorded phone call proved the appointment was made with the correct person.

i'm beginning to see why so many people hate shopping for this company. the proof reader has sent back my report twice asking me to put in details that are already there. so aggravating.

I don't recommend doing shops that you are not comfortable with and are not knowledgeable about. Sure to get busted with a one on one meeting especially when they start asking specifics. Not worth it and there is a high probability it would get rejected since easy to forget what to ask or what was said if nervous.

After repeated failed attempts to get information about this shop BEFORE I confirmed, I told the scheduler to UN-assign because the description said all you had to do was "make an appointment and record the tour". Oh heck no, it's like you describe. Not worth the current $30 they were offering. I also told them I "trust" they will not flake me because of their failure to respond. Good luck, I just think it's too much research to do.