Aw, man. I hadn't posted to the thread about Bearclaw's dog, yet; because each time I thought about it, I would start crying too much.
RizingHorizon, it sounds like it's the first time you've been through this. And, yes, you have lost a family member. A best friend. A companion. And, it sucks giant hairy donkey balls. Don't let *anyone* downplay your feelings of loss and grief because it was "just a cat". There is no such thing, and people who say stuff like that are jerks.
I'm glad you got to be with her, when she had to cross over. As odd as it must have felt, being your first time, it was the best thing; and later you'll be glad you were there and that she wasn't alone or just with strangers to make that journey.
I've been through this with my doggies 24 times since the early 90's. It's a horrible thing to be "experienced" with, but I am. Some I've just found passed, a couple passed during surgery, most passed in my arms while being euthanized, a couple I watched get blown up in my car after a horrible accident.
You would think it would get easier. It doesn't. You get a little callous on your soul, and you realize that if you're going to live the life of loving pets (especially several at a time) this is something you'll have to deal with. So, you develop ways to cope. I have a memory cabinet, with each of their little urns, photos, favorite toys, memory boxes, etc. I remember their "Bridge Days". I want to plant a rose for each one, but can't afford to yet.
But, often times, you just secretly cry at night. And hope that you get visits in your dreams ~ and, sometimes, you do. And, those are as real as they feel. They really, truly, ARE real.
Also, our pet's spirits don't actually leave, not all the way. They wait in the home they know and love, with the people they know and love, until it's our time to go.
And, I *LOVE* the Rainbow Bridge poem. And the PetLoss page. Both *excellent* resources.
ASPCA has a free Pet Loss Hotline phone... I don't know the number right off, but I'm sure it's easily Google-able.
But, mostly, hugs to you. Don't take this first-time journey alone. We're here. PM if you like. <3
Practitioner of the Nerdly Arts.