Hello, everyone,
This question was asked: "I'd like to learn more about how to write better shopping evaluations. While I'm getting good scores, I find myself being too repetitive on descriptions and would like to write so the shops/client find my evaluations of more value." What an admirable ambition for a shopper. I would like to weigh in on this. One of the requirements that many of the mystery shopping companies have is that the shopper writes well.
Some of the companies require quite a few essays. Some of them say essentially, "Now tell everything that happened, in sequence, who did what and what everyone said." This company wants to be a fly on the wall. Others have a short checklist. Then they might say, "Comment/explain all `no' answers." Others want commentary on all no and all yes answers. Like the television detective, they want, "Just the facts, ma'am." While one company might give only enough space for three lines, another might say "250 words" or "1,000 words", and ask your opinion. This depends upon the type of shop, what kind of information was needed, and how much detail the particular shopping company likes. And isn't it annoying when you write the essay of your life, only to find that it was too long for that company's needs? Then you have to cut back, change written numbers to just the digit, drop articles (a, an, the) and delete phrases that don't add to the sentence. It's hard to be original when all you can say is, "Assoc. showed me three types" (28 spaces plus period) changed to "3 types shown." (13 spaces plus period).
In order to please the company, your information needs to be of value to them, as you said. Try to see what they are looking for. Try to think like a business owner. If you have worked in retail, you know that side of the counter. Think how they will use the information you give them. They often aren't going to tell you much about that, so you have to intuit it from the instructions given. It may be obvious if they are trying to make sure that their employees are applying what they've learned, but not so obvious if you are shopping a competitor. If you worked on several shops for the same company, and if they have asked for clarification, what is it they ask for? What do their questions actually ask for?
Remember when you were in school and the teacher kept asking you to look in the Thesaurus for words that mean the same or have a more specific meaning so that you weren't writing the same words all the time? You can do that now, even online. If you are doing many of the same kinds of shops (such as several convenience stores, several burger places, several cellular shops), then you need to give very similar information for each shop. Collect words. There are different ways to say that the parking lot was littered, the food was tasty, or the choices were confusing. Make a list of words that you use often. Try to find similar words to add to your list.
If you have done several shops for the same client, and expect that the same regional manager is reading them all, you have great incentive to vary your reports. Instead of "parking lot littered", you might say "Paper and plastic debris blew across parking lot and got caught in landscaped area" or, if shorter, "Paper/plastic debris stuck in shrubbery". The next time, if the situation is similar, you might say, "Recent strong winds caused trashcan to spill and litter lot." In this case, you aren't blaming management but you are telling the truth. It is a judgement call whether you think the owners in another city want to know that. Sometimes your scheduler or paperwork will specifically say not to report on anything that is temporary, easily cleaned, or caused by weather. Instead of "The food was tasty", you might say, "Burger best I've had in this chain [name the chain]" or "Burger juicy, cooked right." Instead of "Choices were confusing", you could say, "I couldn't keep up with all the kinds of phones available because associate talked too fast for me" or "Phones to choose from are very similar".
Assuming spelling, grammar and punctuation are adequate, try these three things: (1) Vary your wording when you are working for one frequent client. (2) See the questionnaire from the client's corporate office's eyes and how it will be used at the retail level. (3) Use a reference for synonyms for frequently-used words. (4) If space is limited, collect short words!
I'd like to end with some short anecdotes. I wasn't mystery shopping at the time, but I was using the photocopier in a public library when I noticed a woman waiting behind me. I said pleasantly, "Oh, are you waiting for me?" She said, "No!! I am waiting FOR you!" As she turned to converse with the woman behind her, I puzzled over what she said, not to mention the rudeness. Later, I told a friend. We decided that the woman was from another part of the country and spoke a different dialect. We agreed that, where we live, "waiting on" someone can mean that you are next in line when that person finishes. "Waiting for" someone means to us that you are waiting for someone absent so you can go somewhere with that person. The moral and Number Five (5) Be aware of dialect (your own), and use standard English. You might have written a mystery shopping essay that makes perfect sense to you, but the overworked company night editor across the country can't understand what you mean. Perhaps that is one reason some of us get emails asking for clarification on a sentence that we thought "needs no clarification". Recently, I heard a speaker on the radio tell another that someone was "asking after you". Huh? Doesn't she mean, "Asking about you"? And then there is my new friend from another state who asked, "How are you today?" I said, "Just fine!" She stopped in her tracks. "What do you mean? What does `'fine' mean and why `just fine'? Does that mean good or bad?"
We all have much to learn. Hope your day is just fine.
Your Friend (translation: Where I live, if I know or have communicated with you, we are friends, especially if we are both women.),
Sandra
This question was asked: "I'd like to learn more about how to write better shopping evaluations. While I'm getting good scores, I find myself being too repetitive on descriptions and would like to write so the shops/client find my evaluations of more value." What an admirable ambition for a shopper. I would like to weigh in on this. One of the requirements that many of the mystery shopping companies have is that the shopper writes well.
Some of the companies require quite a few essays. Some of them say essentially, "Now tell everything that happened, in sequence, who did what and what everyone said." This company wants to be a fly on the wall. Others have a short checklist. Then they might say, "Comment/explain all `no' answers." Others want commentary on all no and all yes answers. Like the television detective, they want, "Just the facts, ma'am." While one company might give only enough space for three lines, another might say "250 words" or "1,000 words", and ask your opinion. This depends upon the type of shop, what kind of information was needed, and how much detail the particular shopping company likes. And isn't it annoying when you write the essay of your life, only to find that it was too long for that company's needs? Then you have to cut back, change written numbers to just the digit, drop articles (a, an, the) and delete phrases that don't add to the sentence. It's hard to be original when all you can say is, "Assoc. showed me three types" (28 spaces plus period) changed to "3 types shown." (13 spaces plus period).
In order to please the company, your information needs to be of value to them, as you said. Try to see what they are looking for. Try to think like a business owner. If you have worked in retail, you know that side of the counter. Think how they will use the information you give them. They often aren't going to tell you much about that, so you have to intuit it from the instructions given. It may be obvious if they are trying to make sure that their employees are applying what they've learned, but not so obvious if you are shopping a competitor. If you worked on several shops for the same company, and if they have asked for clarification, what is it they ask for? What do their questions actually ask for?
Remember when you were in school and the teacher kept asking you to look in the Thesaurus for words that mean the same or have a more specific meaning so that you weren't writing the same words all the time? You can do that now, even online. If you are doing many of the same kinds of shops (such as several convenience stores, several burger places, several cellular shops), then you need to give very similar information for each shop. Collect words. There are different ways to say that the parking lot was littered, the food was tasty, or the choices were confusing. Make a list of words that you use often. Try to find similar words to add to your list.
If you have done several shops for the same client, and expect that the same regional manager is reading them all, you have great incentive to vary your reports. Instead of "parking lot littered", you might say "Paper and plastic debris blew across parking lot and got caught in landscaped area" or, if shorter, "Paper/plastic debris stuck in shrubbery". The next time, if the situation is similar, you might say, "Recent strong winds caused trashcan to spill and litter lot." In this case, you aren't blaming management but you are telling the truth. It is a judgement call whether you think the owners in another city want to know that. Sometimes your scheduler or paperwork will specifically say not to report on anything that is temporary, easily cleaned, or caused by weather. Instead of "The food was tasty", you might say, "Burger best I've had in this chain [name the chain]" or "Burger juicy, cooked right." Instead of "Choices were confusing", you could say, "I couldn't keep up with all the kinds of phones available because associate talked too fast for me" or "Phones to choose from are very similar".
Assuming spelling, grammar and punctuation are adequate, try these three things: (1) Vary your wording when you are working for one frequent client. (2) See the questionnaire from the client's corporate office's eyes and how it will be used at the retail level. (3) Use a reference for synonyms for frequently-used words. (4) If space is limited, collect short words!
I'd like to end with some short anecdotes. I wasn't mystery shopping at the time, but I was using the photocopier in a public library when I noticed a woman waiting behind me. I said pleasantly, "Oh, are you waiting for me?" She said, "No!! I am waiting FOR you!" As she turned to converse with the woman behind her, I puzzled over what she said, not to mention the rudeness. Later, I told a friend. We decided that the woman was from another part of the country and spoke a different dialect. We agreed that, where we live, "waiting on" someone can mean that you are next in line when that person finishes. "Waiting for" someone means to us that you are waiting for someone absent so you can go somewhere with that person. The moral and Number Five (5) Be aware of dialect (your own), and use standard English. You might have written a mystery shopping essay that makes perfect sense to you, but the overworked company night editor across the country can't understand what you mean. Perhaps that is one reason some of us get emails asking for clarification on a sentence that we thought "needs no clarification". Recently, I heard a speaker on the radio tell another that someone was "asking after you". Huh? Doesn't she mean, "Asking about you"? And then there is my new friend from another state who asked, "How are you today?" I said, "Just fine!" She stopped in her tracks. "What do you mean? What does `'fine' mean and why `just fine'? Does that mean good or bad?"
We all have much to learn. Hope your day is just fine.
Your Friend (translation: Where I live, if I know or have communicated with you, we are friends, especially if we are both women.),
Sandra