We should all do what we think best about this issue. I believe there is no right or wrong answer. It is just a matter of opinion which will be colored by the circumstances which may be different from time to time. There have been times I have been more than helpful and other times I've been more than vague. At no time did I consider my responses more right or more wrong, but different under different circumstances. We have no obligation to give away our knowledge to anyone, but sometimes we may want to be generous if the situation seems to call for it.

Sandy, I think you are missing the key point here. Your postman should not be reading your postcards and should not be commenting on who is sending you mail. It's none of his business. Now, I'm sure he meant no harm in asking and had no clue it could be a touchy subject but the bottom line is, he should be delivering the mail, not reading it.

Having committed the faux pas of commenting on OP's mail, OP could have simply said, "Tell her to just google it. I'm not allowed to discuss what I do because of confidentiality agreements," but was with their rights to be offended that the postman had the audacity to ask the question, given that his only source of information was SOMEONE'S MAIL.

If OP had had a racy magazine delivered, would he have felt free to ask, "So what did you think of last month's centerfold?" Or if AARP correspondence had been received, would he have commented, "Getting a little long in tooth, are you now?"

The thing is, he should have known better than to chat up a postal customer by commenting on the mail they received.

And nobody here has ANY obligation to help another shopper invade their turf! Charity needs to begin at home and if you're barely getting by, it's stupid to help someone reduce your income. Let them go flip burgers or something. Why hand over half your business, or even encourage them to enter this field? Is a plumber going to mentor his competition? Not likely. This is BUSINESS. I'll do my charitable work by supporting 501c3 organizations, not by cutting my own throat.

It's a secret, it is certainly up to you to keep your livelihood a secret but I do see a big difference between someone making a negative comment based on what they have seen or overheard or asking nicely for information from someone they probably see several times a week, week after week. And the words mystery shop were on the outside of the envelope evidently in a place difficult to ignore. In the case of the cubicle, which is something I happen to come across on a daily basis, no, I would not start a conversation about the sex the person had last night should I have overheard them discussing it with a friend, but if I hear them telling someone that their son or daughter is applying to college I do not think it is beyond the scope of acceptable to mention to them I overheard the conversation and offer my help as someone who has shepherded two children through that. They can take my offer up or not. Perhaps this is different in different parts of the country and certainly different people have different ideas of what is acceptable. People in So California tend to be very friendly when they are not busy texting.
No, I do not want to share personal info with my mailperson such as my income from mystery shopping or interest in those girlie mags they deliver every month and if I were a doctor I do not think they should be asking for medical advice but if after delivering mail to me for many months or years they mentioned to me that their child wanted to be a doctor I would not be offended that they noticed an MD after my name on every letter. Rather I would be pleased that they thought enough of me to ask my advice. I understand where you are coming from about competition for jobs but I just do not think giving another person a little direction and consideration is a bad thing.

There's a HUGE difference between overhearing someone mention their kid going to college and OFFERING a suggestion and "overhearing" something on an envelope and ASKING for help about it. In the one case you are being helpful. In the other, the mailman invaded OP's privacy and asked for a personal favor.

HUGE, HUGE difference in those two scenarios.

But none of this matters. OP was offended and preferred not to be involved in helping someone become her competition. The mailman had no business invading her privacy and putting her on the spot like that. Unless they were personal friends, it was wrong (not evil, just a social gaffe) for him to do that.

I must have missed something in the original post. Like where this guy has been her mail carrier for years and years and they have developed some sort of relationship. My current mail carrier has been delivering here for a few years. I don't consider seeing each other briefly and saying hello or commenting on the weather to be a relationship.

As to "overhearing" a conversation and commenting. Overhearing easily turns into eavesdropping and making a comment is not friendly, it is invasive. During my time in cubicle world, it was understood a conversation at your desk did not provide absolute privacy, but as a matter of courtesy we would tune each other out and never, ever made comments or offered opinions without being asked.

It is interesting that through all of this we are being told that people in certain parts of the country are friendlier or kinder to their neighbors or more charitable. Why all the allusions to moral superiority regarding a simple business decision?

I have had a few people ask me about it. I give them this website and the website for MarketForce, since that was one of the first companies I shopped for. I tell them to read, read, read and take one shop and try it and see how they like it. Time will go by and they will ask me about it (mystery shopping) again. In each case, they never even tried one shop.

By just giving them the two websites, I leave it up to them to continue the process. For the most part, I think most people will look at the pay and what is involved and not spend the time to continue. I am not trying to discourage them, but so far, no one really wants to do the leg work to get started.

I am from a small town (I do not live there anymore) where everyone knows everyone so I may be a bit naive in this aspect, with that said, I give out my list of companies I do work for since at one point in my life I had to stop working due to my child's illness. Those medical bills and insurance premiums & deductibles took up a huge chunk of my husband's paycheck and would have loved to have had this opportunity to contribute to our income. I find that most people will not take it, unemployment benefits & welfare are far more beneficial to them, this is what I have actually been told. Call me crazy but I believe God actually blesses us when we do things selflessly, I still find myself coming up with nicely bonused shops.

I also hope your mail never gets mis delivered to your neighbor's who see "Mystery Shopping" printed on the envelopes.
Otherwise another new potential shopper may be created to compete with you...

LisaSTL Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I must have missed something in the original post.
> Like where this guy has been her mail carrier for
> years and years and they have developed some sort
> of relationship. My current mail carrier has been
> delivering here for a few years. I don't consider
> seeing each other briefly and saying hello or
> commenting on the weather to be a relationship.
>
> As to "overhearing" a conversation and commenting.
> Overhearing easily turns into eavesdropping and
> making a comment is not friendly, it is invasive.
> During my time in cubicle world, it was understood
> a conversation at your desk did not provide
> absolute privacy, but as a matter of courtesy we
> would tune each other out and never, ever made
> comments or offered opinions without being asked.
>
>
> It is interesting that through all of this we are
> being told that people in certain parts of the
> country are friendlier or kinder to their
> neighbors or more charitable. Why all the
> allusions to moral superiority regarding a simple
> business decision?

LisaSTL, I am not at all thinking that California has superior moral beings in it. In fact, I have lived in many places and find that in California it is harder to make a true friend than most other places I have lived. However, people here are fairly friendly to strangers compared to other places I have lived. I have had this conversation with many other people here and most of them agree to the above. Of course it is a generalization that is not true everywhere.
I am also really glad that in my cubicle situation people do share with each other. It is not a mandate. Certainly someone can ask a cubicle neighbor not to speak with them on topics they overhear and generally people do not butt in on personal type conversations. But there are often people standing next to a nearby cubicle and they do include others at my place of work when they pass by or are already nearby. I find that to be a friendly attitude and am glad to have that atmosphere where I am.
As the mail person situation, I do not know how well the OP knows her mail person. My mail persons sometimes have the same route for years, even when I lived in other states and countries. But I believe she did say she felt bad afterwards and was asking what others thought. I knew my answer would be controversial to some, but that is the purpose of this forum and for the question...to have different points of view chime in.

I do not mind sharing and referring shops to others. I get loads of emails and forward them to others who live elsewhere. I have told locals about shopping but most don't seem to go for it. It is not a job for someone who is not a self starter or needs someone to think for them.

Which is another good reason not to give people shortcuts. If they are self-starters, they don't need the shortcuts. We have enough people in this country expecting handouts. Why create more of them?

I just had a similar experience yesterday. I was at my tax preparer's office. When we were finished, she walked me to the receptionist. She then proceeds to tell the receptionist that I am a mystery shopper. I was quite taken aback. Of course, the receptionist is immediately interested..."How can I get started doing that?" I all of a sudden started to hear little voices in my head...Lisa's, Mary, Cettie, BusyBuzzx3..all of you! I told the receptionist that what I do is a business. I have been building it up for nearly 5 years now. I likened it to a franchise. I have to admit I was irked...and I will mention this to the tax preparer today when I pick up my taxes.

The mailman should mind his business and not read your mail..
Invasion of privacy?

No invasion of privacy, "Mystery Shopper" was printed on the outside of the envelope for all to see.

newyorkdan1 Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> The mailman should mind his business and not read
> your mail..
> Invasion of privacy?

I agree. No invasion of privacy. However, IMO, the carrier violated both rules of etiquette and USPS rules. See, for example:

[uspsmiscl.lettercarriernetwork.info]

itsasecret Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
>
> And nobody here has ANY obligation to help another
> shopper invade their turf! Charity needs to begin
> at home and if you're barely getting by, it's
> stupid to help someone reduce your income. Let
> them go flip burgers or something. Why hand over
> half your business, or even encourage them to
> enter this field? Is a plumber going to mentor
> his competition? Not likely. This is BUSINESS.
> I'll do my charitable work by supporting 501c3
> organizations, not by cutting my own throat.

I find myself reading this thread and saying, "Yeah! Yeah! And another thing..."

I have stated here and on other threads that my area is very competitive and it has been especially difficult to pick up assignments lately, even my "usual" ones. After reading some of the posts, something occurred to me: I gave out some information within the past year. I usually tell people about merchandising, but, let's face it, it's not much of a jump to get to mystery shopping from there. My doctor asked me for his daughter who had just graduated and has student loans. Now I'm wondering if she's the new competitor.....never again!

I have been asked the same question several times. I simply say that there is as lot to learn and refer them to this site.

jpgilham Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> So my mailman pulls up my driveway to deliver me
> some letters and he says "I see you are a mystery
> shopper" I wonder how he knows this but remember
> that one company that pays me by check and has
> 'mystery shopper' on the envelope. You might know
> who I'm talking about. Anyway he goes on to say
> that a woman he worked with has lost her job and
> she would be really good at it and could I tell
> him how to get started so he can help her.
[...]

I got started in mystery shopping quite by accident. It was 2007 and I was getting pictures printed at a CVS drug store, and I got to talking with someone in there on a merchandising gig. She gave me the link to NARMS, from which I found (what was at the time) Shop N' Chek and Certified Field Associates (both of which are now Market Force portals), among others. And the rest is history...

I understand your plight. I personally wouldn't mind referring to both of those sites listed previously, and maybe a couple of others like National Shopping Service. But I can understand why others are leery of adding competitors to an already dense playing field.

I'm surprised the mailman could take time to talk with the OP. Mailmen are timed on their route, and then are expected to meet that time. There is little leeway for chitchat.

The OP does not have the same issues I do - there are plenty of shops in my area (Oklahoma City). The OP says even the low-paying shops are gone in her area. So yes, if I were her and this was my livelihood and shops are drying up, I would be hesitant to answer.

However, I share information here in OKC - but I don't give away the good stuff! I tell them about this site, of course. I also tell them about McDonalds and Sonic, since schedulers are begging for those shops to get done. I also tell them about the travel store shops, oil change shops, and dog boarding shops. Because if there were more shoppers taking these shops, maybe the phone calls and incessant emails I get would slow down.

I don't tell them about the shops that get snapped up here, like eyeglass shops, massage shops, hotel shops, steak restaurants.

The mailman should not have said anything to you. He was really out of line. A gal who used to work with my husband and was fired asked me about MS. She doesn't drive, and I told her that's kind of a necessity if you want to do this. She keeps asking me, on Facebook of all places, to tell her all about it. I asked her to give me a call if she wants to discuss it; I really don't want to talk over MYSTERY shopping in such a public forum! I hope she takes the hint.

Robinv

Yeah, but if they find the Sonic shops, eventually they'll find their way to the good stuff.

I only encourage people to mystery shop if they are friends I would give money to if they needed it to get by. In that case, I will teach them to fish and don't mind sharing the local rotations with them. But I'm in dire enough straits financially that I can't afford to share the slim pickings around here with a total stranger. I'll take local jobs early in the month to keep anyone from being tempted to drive up here for the late-month bonuses. I don't want anyone thinking of this town as part of their territory. I hate when I can't take a shop here or in the town about 85 miles away that nobody seems to shop. Because SOMEONE takes them eventually and I don't want to lose them when I'm able to shop.

I have reason to think I'm the only shopper who lives up here right now. There was a husband-wife couple who had been alternating the rotation on the shop I did today. The scheduler told me months ago they were glad to see another shopper up here because there's a 90 day rotation on that client and they kept having to make exceptions. But shortly they were making exceptions for ME to do it 2 months in a row so I think that couple are either summer residents or got out of mystery shopping because they haven't touched that shop since about October.

There's only about $100 worth of jobs in this town every month so, no, I'm not sharing them voluntarily!

robinv, you should unfriend that person. You don't need someone with whom you have that tenuous of a connection ("used to work with your husband" ) blowing your cover in such a public place.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 03/30/2013 12:11AM by itsasecret.

I tell them to come here.

I send people to Bestmark. That kills any interest they might have pretty quickly.

Stand back and look at the whole picture: the mail man inquired because he saw the return address and he immediately thought of his friend who needed a job. He was looking for help so that he could relay that information. Don't all of us, stop at a window that says, "help wanted" and let our friend know where the location is? I am sure, the mail person did not intend to step on toes, because he wasn't thinking that way, due to the fact, he had No Idea, what mystery shopping entails. Only we know it is a specialty program which has very limited jobs.

As for the time element which the carrier's have to finish their route; I imagine all states are different. In my location, my carrier sometime's spends a half hour, just yacking with me. On the night's she is in a hurry, she'll toot her horn and wave to me. Once, when my dog wandered down the road and I didn't know it, she was the one who pulled into the drive to tell me. I like, the one-on-one with my "neighbor".

A little common courtesy, goes a long way.

As for being asked about shopping, I say, that if you want to get into it, search Google. Then, I'll highlight verbally, never, ever pay to do a mystery shop when they tell me that they received an email. Of course, I'll enhance it by saying, most of the time I'm up past midnight submitting my reports. That for sure, is a turn off.

Looking at the whole picture: A postal carrier looks at return addresses on mail that he delivers to a US Postal customer, then approaches the customer to ask questions about mystery shopping because he saw that one of the return addresses was a mystery shopping company. He tells the postal customer he wants to help a friend who he thinks might be good at mystery shopping. It is the mailman's job to look at the address to which a piece of mail is to be delivered. Looking at return addresses and asking questions about them is not his job. Approaching a postal customer and asking questions or information for another party due to his knowledge of a return address on a piece of personal mail is an abuse of his job. It is certainly NOT the same as seeing a "Help Wanted" sign at a business and writing down the address to let a friend know about a job opportunity.

My brother-in-law is a longtime postal carrier. I told him the above situation and asked what he thought. He felt the action of the postal carrier was unethical and he advises that the OP file a complaint with the Postmaster General by calling 1.800.ASK.USPS (275.8777) or clicking "E-mail us" on the USPS website, [www.usps.com]. He immediately questioned the casual approach of a postal customer by the mail carrier. The casual approach suggests the mail carrier thought nothing of acting on his knowledge of the postal customer's personal mail. He said his biggest concern is that the mail carrier thought nothing of approaching the customer to ask inappropriate personal questions based on his knowledge of the customer's personal mail. Does that mean the mail carrier makes a habit of watching where mail comes from when he delivers it? Does he read post cards? Does he monitor magazines and circulars? Where does "noticing things" while delivering mail stop? My brother-in-law said he personally (as a mail carrier) finds it an embarrassment and said he felt that type of unprofessional behavior gives postal carriers a bad name.

I totally agree. Do I think the guy has committed a murder and should be hung or sentenced to life? No. Do I think his behavior is unethical and inappropriate? You bet, but I would probably not file a complaint. I think the OP handled it fine.

I recall a big controversy in Houston. The mailman who delivered mail to the Superintendent of Houston Schools subscribed to Playboy. The mailman wrote a letter to the paper stating he did not approve of that and didn't think the Super should even look at such a magazine. Before you know it - the Super complains to the post office and the mailman lost his job. I believe the mailman was rehired but was transferred to another route.

I agree, if you can help someone else and make things better in their life, why wouldn't you take this opportunity. I am always super happy to share and help others if they are interested in learning about the work.

Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Well, call me whatever but I would share info with
> whoever asks me out of real interest and not just
> curiosity. I would do to others just what I wish
> to be done to me had the roles been reversed. It
> took me years to gather all the info yes, and
> competition could put me on my toes for a brief
> moment, however I am the type that when I weigh up
> every value, charity towards my neighbor tends to
> tip the scales!

itsasecret Wrote:

> And I got one of those checks the other day and
> wondered what they were thinking for putting
> "mystery shopping" on the check. I had to deposit
> it using my smart phone because I don't want my
> bank tellers knowing I am a mystery shopper
> because I do teller shops at that bank!


Do you think it is possible bank employees sometimes read the checks and or know the names of some MSPs?

Sorry, but it sounds like a good way to get busted.

One MSP I work for suggests shoppers maintain an account at a bank that is not shopped by that shopper for the purpose of depositing my MS checks and direct deposits. I have long followed that advice.

I don't need a third bank account. I wish the companies who pay by check would get into the 21st century and do DD. WITHOUT putting the words "mystery shop" in the identification for the transaction.