Feeling a bit freaky about doing these shops.

Anyone care to share your experience or expertise???

If you use the "search" function, type in "funeral homes", "exact phrase" and select "all dates", you'll find a few threads which have discussed the funeral home shops. Here's one to get you started: [www.mysteryshopforum.com]

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I personally have no desire to call a funeral home and give a fake scenario of (I guess) someone's death.

Since I have never done one, I have no idea what you are supposed to do, but calling a funeral home can't be good...

I just did a cremation shop and it was fine. The people are great (if they weren't, they probably wouldn't get any business). Anyway, I have difficulty with acting/making up scenarios. My mom is 91 so I went with it. Even told my mom I was shopping cremation shops for her. She got a kick out of it. I might have felt different if I had to actually knock her off in the scenario!

I do a lot of these on and off. They get much easier with practice. My hardest time was with some of them asking for a phone number over and over again and feeling stupid with my answers. These are nice shops because you don't have narrative to write. If you can crank them out they are good money per hour because you only have the prep for the call (10 min) and the call itself. BUT everything is riding on the recording so if you screw it up, no do over, bad grade.

It's worth it to do several and have rotating scenarios you use. Have about five different names for yourself - swap up the first and last names, use common combinations. Have email addresses for all these names (I already have 10 for automotive shops). For the unfortunate dead/dying person, have hobbies, age, cause of death, names of family if asked. Write out your own cheat sheet with quotes for responses to possible or anticipated questions. I've done all this, so now for me it is a cut and paste operation. All I have to do is I look up Emergency Hospital and I also look up town/city size, etc. on Wikipedia. (Handle small towns delicately; everyone knows everyone. Don't say it was a motorcycle accident, for example). I also look up a Trulia address so if they ask me where I am I can say "Oh, I'm over on Oak Lane, by the Library."

For people I use someone who's already died (with a generic last name for small towns). I say step-mother or brother because I don't have one to jinx. When I'm in a bad mood I pick my boyfriends still miserably living Ex-wife and use some form of her name. Or I use my abusive, still shockingly living ex-boyfriend. Then I basically stay true to life about them. Bobby (who is actually dead) liked motorcycles. Laura died of liver failure (alcoholic *&^% - it will happen some day. She did that to herself <--- I don't say that part of course). I worry not about Karma this way.

This is all in case you're asked. Hardest thing is to just let them talk and don't ask too many questions, but be able to answer naturally if they ask something.

I can handle these shops because I have a deep, dark, sardonic, dry sense of humor. I listen to some Type O Negative (gothic/doom metal band) before I call the funeral homes. It helps me get in the proper mindset

I did one. It went well. I did have the whole scenario worked out ahead of time so that I could answer any questions they may ask. I did have a very fake family member because I guess I was worried about jinxing someone. I'm not interested in doing another, but then again I despise phone shops.

I do them. I think I have figured out how I want to plan my funeral. I have had to plan funerals; we are all going to need one sometime so I appreciate learning as much as I can ahead of time.

I'm not wild about the subject matter, but the idea of phone shopping is appealing. How long do/should/must the funeral call shops take?

@Shop-et-al wrote:

I'm not wild about the subject matter, but the idea of phone shopping is appealing. How long do/should/must the funeral call shops take?

As long as the director talks. Usually 10 to 15 minutes - sometimes you have to call back. You really don't do much talking unless asked questions. You get used to the subject matter.

I wanted to add to my long comment above: For the folks less jaded than I am, you could use a person you cared about who is deceased and remember them that way. I like to use Fern sometimes with a fake last name, and a relation I don't have (Step-mother) - she was my high school buddy's Grandmother. I just know all her hobbies if asked and how she died. So I just answer truthfully about Fern and it helps me to not forget her (and make $4 - she wouldn't mind. She was a charming and resourceful lady).

This made me laugh: "You may NOT say the deceased is at a private residence (your house), as doing so may cause the facility to call the police to determine if a crime has been committed."

Like, who would say "Yeah, Aunt Marge is lying right here on the floor next to my feet." Wow! Or "No she never got out of bed this morning.... She's still there..."

There's other oddly funny stuff in the instructions that just makes you wonder... "OMG. DID a shopper actually try to say that?"

Here is your answer: [www.mysteryshoppermagazine.com]

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I seem to have bad luck with these shops! The person I need to speak to is NEVER there when I call and I always have to call back later. I work full time and I usually try to make these calls on my lunch break, so calling back later poses some interesting challenges.

I love the instruction about not being under the influence when you make these calls! Again, it makes you think, have they had that many issues with people doing that?

@Lexxycon wrote:

This made me laugh: "You may NOT say the deceased is at a private residence (your house), as doing so may cause the facility to call the police to determine if a crime has been committed."

Like, who would say "Yeah, Aunt Marge is lying right here on the floor next to my feet." Wow! Or "No she never got out of bed this morning.... She's still there..."

There's other oddly funny stuff in the instructions that just makes you wonder... "OMG. DID a shopper actually try to say that?"

People do die at home, so unless told not to state this, I may have said it.

@PeggyShoppy - Yeah I can just see that too. Drunk, slurring, crying and overacting: <sob> "I can't believe she's gone! She was my world... Can you hold on. I need to make another drink. Sorry, I have no other way to cope with this..." Then the sales pitch turns into an exercise in consoling a drunk...

edited because I spelled exercise with a "size" LOL



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 04/14/2015 04:43AM by Lexxycon.

I believe the instructions specifically require that you have a local hospital in which the person has or will soon die (depends on the assigned scenario).

@prince - Well yes, from a serious standpoint, I actually understand that as a natural mistake for someone who has never actually found a dead body, like say someone who died in thier sleep. So it's important to mention in the instructions.

I just think if someone really did die at home that a person's first instinct would not be to call the funeral home and start the planning. It would be to call the authorities/911. If they are still limp and warm, then maybe they can be revived. If they are cold and stiff, well you need them removed and the coroner needs to determine cause of death. There are also released bodily fliuds and substances all over the death area. It's my understanding that rigor mortis kicks in very shortly after death due to lack of ATP production. Hair still grows though... death is an odd phenomenon to us living folks. The different organs of the body "die" at different rates.

Hey! Wasn't there a guy on the news who waxed or embalmed his loved one and left her in the house to interact with? Or is that from a movie... Oh geez.... now the movie "Weekend at Bernies" just popped into my mind. This is going to be an interesting day!

This one is a 'never' for me.

I conducted one and ONLY one of these shops. I didn't mind the shop or its topic at all, but I was given a lower shopper rating than I usually get on reports because "To seem more realistic, try to avoid making jokes during the call." I started to ask a question at the same time as the employee started to mention the topic. So I simply said with a chuckle that he must have ESP. I don't consider that a joke. People don't stop all laughing when someone dies.

And now the MSC has reduced the pay for these shops. I learned my lesson to avoid recorded phone shops for that little amount of money. It just isn't worth the time and effort, even with the convenience of doing them from home in my robe. In my experience, phone shops have challenges that regular shops don't. On another phone shop, I called several times to get a quote and the salesperson never called me back with the information. Instead of being able to close the shop and report this, the scheduler insisted that we continue to give him the opportunity and wanted me to keep trying after multiple calls over a week. I declined to continue since I was going on vacation so I wasn't compensated for my efforts because the salesperson wasn't doing his job in returning the phone call.

I don't know. To me it sounds like a waste of time and what if they want to go and pickup the body?

Someone in my family did die recently and I did these jobs while actually preparing for the person's funeral. I didn't need another funeral home but it was interesting to get the prices to compare. Having gone through it before as well I knew what questions we asked and what the problems were that we ran into and could ask about those. The subject makes me feel sad so I sound upset on the call.

The best ones are when you are expecting someone to pass away. You just say that the doctors just told you that so-n-so is only expected to live a day or two and you want to know what to do to be prepared. When they ask for your phone number just say that you can't get calls at the hospital or be distracted by sales calls when something critical is happening.

I see most everyone is superstitious to jinx a living family member by using their name. I use a dead family member's name and change the relationship to a closer one. But because my dead relatives have been buried at the company's cemetery I can't use the exact name and circumstances. I just change it a little like the other posters have said.

@anniemaria The instructions clearly instruct you not to authorise them to collect the body.

If you're a rational person, then these shops are fine. I've done dozens of them. They're simple and easy. I'd do more, but the times conflict with my day job. Before I call, I always look up the address of the funeral home and find a nearby emergency room. I then write down my name for the call, the deceased's name, their DOB and age, their relation to me and cause of death (usually cancer).

I have my own server. so I can give whatever email address I desire.


I make everything up, including names and the deceased's name. I always make the person who died old so that the call isn't that memorable: An 88-year-old grandfather who dies of lung cancer isn't a shocking phone call to receive for the person who answers. I decide during the call if I want to cremate them or bury them.

Further, these calls are actually important: sometimes, the people who answer are great, but sometimes they're pretty terrible, and our fake calls help the companies that run them address that so that they can be less terrible to an actual bereaved family member.

All in all, they take me five minutes to prep and perhaps 15 minutes to complete, as the funeral directors tend to go on quite a bit. I'm fine with 20 minutes out of my life for this extremely easy shop.

I find others' squeamishness ridiculous. Everybody is going to die, and everybody you know is going to die. Some of them will be your loved ones, and some may die before you. Making believe that somebody is dead does not magically cause a real person to drop dead. If you're irrationally superstitious, then you can avoid doing these calls: you can also avoid stepping on cracks, breaking mirrors, black cats, etc, but I think that all of that is moronic. (I was going to say that if you're 'irrationally religious', but then I realised that I couldn't even think of any religions that teach 'jinxing' as dogma, so I downgraded it, as it were, to 'irrationally superstitious'.)

>>> Making believe that somebody is dead does not magically cause a real person to drop dead. <<<
You are right but it is so hard to stop thinking this way!

I'd say do one and decide how you feel. I've done 1 but it was just to weird fir me. It takes a while to get your story down. ... but i could see how you could make decent money with this of you use the same story over and over at multiple shops.

I have done them successfully after flubbing up the first time. You need to really get in to "character" to pull it off well and there is a lot of information to gather. I set up a cheat sheet to refer to during the call.

Sure makes me uncomfortable. This week I received an email for cremation shops, I totally passed on that one. I guess the more seasoned shoppers are pretty well versed on how to act/react in any of these situations. I am still learning and not ready to leave the kiddie pool for the deep end just yet.

I felt weird when I first began doing the funeral shops. However, when I became housebound this past winter with a chronic URI, the funeral shops came in very handy. Now, I do a couple a week before I begin my mystery shops. I've got them down pat and I've made my own template. The shortest call has been 6 minutes and the longest was about 20 minutes. I use my deceased FIL or my MIL who is 92. The night before I look up the nearest hospital to the funeral home and the nearest hotel/motel to the hospital. This takes me 5 minutes, the average call about 10 minutes and a minute or two for the report. I've been averaging 10's but I've received a few 8's along the way. It takes a while to get them down pat.

I've only done one and I'll never do it again. I totally messed this one up. The secretary asked me my name. I gave her a fake one. She put me on hold for the director and when he came on the phone and I told him my real first name. So you know I didn't get paid for that one. I really think it is not worth the money anyway.

@wakingupkk wrote:

I'd say do one and decide how you feel. I've done 1 but it was just to weird fir me. It takes a while to get your story down. ... but i could see how you could make decent money with this of you use the same story over and over at multiple shops.

Yes. Some of the companies or chains are connected, especially in the same state. So it helps to have several scenarios and names and just rotate/recombine them. If you do a lot then keep a spreadsheet. My notepad cheat sheet is tabbed so I can just C&P it in. Then I look at it to see what names not to use. I have done 3 to 4/hour of these. $16/hr is not bad for no narrative. (I sure wish they were $5 again though).