I managed to keep a straight face-I deserve an award!

Yesterday, a produce associate told me that grapefruits and apples were vegetables.

While in this same store, I ordered four ounces of cheese. I received 0.44 of a lb of cheese instead... nearly double what I wanted.

Finally, same store, an associate told me that he didn't think you could buy Nori or seaweed in their state unless you were a restaurant.

I was done after that. 0_o


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You should have said, "Of course, where do you think they get bleu cheese?" But that's the kind of thing I don't think of until later.
@Sandman1048 wrote:

Some years ago I was doing a car shop and the car I test drove was a nice shade of dark blue and had lightish blue material for seats. I asked the salesman if there was an option for leather for this specific car and he said to me while laughing "Are you serious, have you ever seen a blue cow?"
You should have said, "Of course, where do you think they get bleu cheese?" But that's the kind of thing I don't think of until later.
(I put this on a previous comment but didn't quote you so it didn't make much sense.)
HonnyBrown- I'm sure you called her that in the report too, and got a perfect score.

Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 01/11/2017 06:16PM by SBee.
I took my car get and oil change. After the oil change the two boys outside couldn't drive an standard car. So they had get the girl working inside to come and move it.
I told a girl working at a burger place that my fries weren't hot. She put her hand on them and said they weren't so bad. I was in shock! I still asked for new, hot fries. Preferably ones she didn't lay her hand on. I wish I video shopped!!

Doing what I can to enhance the life of my family! I LOVE what I do smiling smiley
My chuckle came when I was doing an assignment at an electronics store and overheard the young salesperson explain how a wifi router worked to an older customer. I think the Hubble Telescope and satellite communication were words the youngest used. The salesperson with true confidence but zero credibility mentioned that the wifi meant world in far places. I mean if you don't know your stuff you can always fake it. It was truly amusing.
I have another one. A friend of mine owned several funeral homes and he wanted some information on the competition. He asked me to go in and find out what they charged for several specific caskets, along with other information. Since I had already done the shop for him the previous month, I asked a friend to perform the shop. When she asked them to see a XXX casket, he took her into a room and showed her the casket she asked about. But it was OCCUPIED! I think she wanted a bonus for that shop.
One time I was doing a shop for a life-line phone service. I walked up to the booth and the two associates were talking. The more experienced associate was saying to the newbie associate that the customer who had just left was their mystery shopper for the month. She proceeded to tell him all the kinds of things their mystery shoppers checked on, like whether they had the state-required disclaimer about how cell phones can be harmful to your health. But none the stuff she was telling him was in the survey. I could barely keep from laughing.

Of course it all went in the report. My scheduler/editor sent the comments in a separate email to the client to get his take. He wrote back and said that they didn't have anyone else shopping them so he had no idea where she had gotten the idea about the stuff she was telling the newbie.
My reports are always professionally written, and yes, I received a 10/10.

@SBee wrote:

HonnyBrown- I'm sure you called her that in the report too, and got a perfect score.

"Life is a fight...FIGHT!"
I did a trifecta at a bank. While I was doing the first part, a person asked the greeter which company did their secret shopping. I nearly fainted when he mentioned two of the companies I was doing shops for.

"Life is a fight...FIGHT!"
I did a ladies plus size clothing shop the other day. I was the only customer and could clearly overhear the two sales associates discussing one of their baby's "pooping" habits. Didn't know whether to laugh or be offended.
I had a new cashier on a grocery shop that had no clue what any of my vegetables were that I bought. He had to keep asking me what they were and then he would slowly look up the code for it in his little alphabetized book. Suddenly he got stuck and called for help. When help arrived, he announced that he had looked in the whole "Q" section, but couldn't find the code for cucumbers anywhere! To this day I laugh when I think about that!
A few years ago, I did a shop at a check cashing store. It was during income tax season and they were offering income tax filing service with the refund issued immediately.

As I was talking to the teller, the associate working at the income tax desk is telling a coworker that she has her taxes done at H&R Block.

I finished the shop and sat in my car laughing for a few minutes. I included the conversation in my report. I wonder how many customers had problems with their taxes prepared by that associate.
I was doing a video shop in an appliance store last week and the salesperson said she couldn't recommend a particular brand of dryer because they explode.

Talking tough is easy when it's other people's evil and you're judging what they do and don't believe.
I had a cashier at a stadium tell me that their register does not allow them to print receipts for anything under $16.50 (my wings were $16). Weird.... the only register in the stadium programmed that way, or someone was too busy to change the paper.
This was not on a shop, but it should have been! I recently bough a bag of Jasmine Rice at a grocery store, only to come home and find that there were bugs crawling through it. I stuck in in a Tupperware and returned it the next day. The customer service associate didn't seem concerned, but was surprised about the bugs since the bag said "new crop" on it. Still gives me the creeps!
Why would the company let employees know a MS is coming in on a particular day? Why waist their money with a MS. Kind of defeats the purpose.

The company probably didn't. A regional or local manager probably found out and tipped off the employees. Their bonuses are probably tied in part to their MS performance. They had rather get a good score than find out what's wrong.

Talking tough is easy when it's other people's evil and you're judging what they do and don't believe.
The one time I had to literally chew my bottom lip to keep from laughing during a shop was at a busy cell phone store several years ago. There weren't enough associates and I think they grabbed a guy from the back room to help me. Well, imagine trying to have a discussion with someone who stuttered like Porky Pig. I kid you not. I was dying and wanted to leave so badly but stuck it out. Everyone in the store was staring at us. Before anyone jumps on me, I was not laughing at his disability, but at my choice to drive 30 miles and allow myself, by choice, to be put in the situation to make a few bucks and help out a desperate scheduler...sort of an AHA moment.."I can't believe I'm doing this," sort of thing. The fellow did an okay job, but I was finishing half his sentences for him. That was the closest I've ever come to completely losing it during a shop.

I was addicted to the Hokey Pokey, but I turned myself around....What if the Hokey Pokey really is what it's all about?
I had a bank shop yesterday where I had to open a checking account. The person helping me, who I later found out was the manager, told me "I know we have a mobile app, but don't even ask me how to use it. I'm not a tech kind of guy."
I did a shop where I was supposed to open a checking account. The shop company said, "Now, instead of requiring $50 deposit to open a checking account, the bank is allowing you to open a checking account with only $25!" So, I met with a banker and told him that I wanted to open a checking account. He turned towards his computer and started typing. I took one of his cards. He said, "OK, I need an ID and $75." I said, "I don't have $75 with me, I was going to open the account with $25." He said, "I have to have $75." I said, "I just told you that I don't have $75. Are you refusing to open an account for me with less than $75?" He said, "Yes, I will not open an account with less than $75." I said, "OK then," and got up and started to walk out. He said, "Wait! You don't want to open an account then?" I said, "I DON'T HAVE $75!" I left and called the scheduler and told her what happened. She said to fill out my report and submit the card and I would get paid, and I was paid.
I worked for a home improvement company and we knew the exact day and departments a mystery shopper was coming. It was told to us all at the morning meeting. It all was tied into the quarterly bonus that the managers and employees received, if you did not score well it could effect that bonus. For that reason I don't take any of those assignments. I still know too many employees in my area.
What is a footfall count?-I am editing, because I wanted to point out that I thought I was replying to someone on page one, who was doing a footfall count. I do not know how to make this link to her actual comment. Sorry.

Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 02/23/2017 02:45PM by jroby1.
@LadyLace wrote:

You'll love this one! smiling smiley I was doing a footfall count in a small rural town in winter. I was dressed smartly in a warm quilted coat. It gets kind of tiring standing up for all those hours so at one point I sat down on the ground, leaning my back against the wall, and decided to pour myself a cup of tea from the flask I had brought with me. A guy came along and tried to give me money - he thought I was a beggar lol! He was most bemused when I said I was working!! Well, I am a working girl lol! Just to be clear,no, not THAT kind of working girl!!! smiling smiley

I got a somewhat similar story. I had some time to kill between shops, and I stood next to a church and leaning against the wall. I happened to have pretty bad period cramps that day so I kept holding my stomach. After a couple of minutes the priest came out with some cookies and grapes for me. I guess he thought I was having hunger pains.
Many of these stories are great! Thanks for sharing. I've had some experiences too, but nothing as good as some of yours.

During the checkout at a grocery store, I had to ask about the discount program when they mention it. "I don't know what that is," I said. The cashier replied to me, "It's our online discount program, but honestly, the discounts aren't very good and I don't bother with it." Oops, busted!

Another grocery shop, the cashier handed me my merchandise and said, "Thanks for shopping at Walmart!" (I was NOT in a Walmart.) She then immediately gasped and put her hands over her mouth. Eh, it amused me.
I did a five guys burger shop back in the day before you know who MSC decided to block me. Anyway, My shopper profile listed as Asian female, 5'3', about 160 lb and over 50 years. I brought my adult kids along so we can have a nice lunch. There was an asian couple that was ahead of us in line. I think they had a head's up for a shopper. Well, the five guys staff made such an effort to focus their customer service on this customer. Even my kids noticed how much the staff was focusing their attention for that customer. By the time it was my turn to order, it was hard to keep a straight face.
Once I was doing a Chipotle shop and for the phone call portion I asked if they had chorizo. This was a couple weeks after they started serving it. The employee had no idea what I was talking about. I had to explain what chorizo was and she still had no clue.
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