Thanks for all the replies. I agree, I always ask first, but when it's a coffee for example, I want to make sure they know it's a new one, not my leftovers. I don't drink coffee and so I usually say something like "They gave me a free coffee with my takeaway and I don't drink coffee, would you like it"? It's never been turned down yet but I always ask those who really look homeless to me. We have a lot of "professional beggars" in some areas who are only after money.
"I got one for a friend who didn't show up" is a good one, thanks.

Kindness is a virtue. I have seen so many homeless although the numbers have reduced significantly. Years ago I had reason to drive into our metro area several times a week. I had to experience alcoholics who would wipe your windshield off with dirty rags when stopped for a light. Yes, I gave them money knowing it would be spent on alcohol. I once asked a homelss man outside an eatery if I could buy him a sandwich. He snarled at me and said he wanted money. I don't make any verbal attempts any more. TBC.... Got to go now......

I offered a sandwich combo to a homeless fella recently. I just said, "Would you like this lunch? I bought it for a friend and just found out she had to leave work." His answer? "No, I don't take food from anyone." At first I was a little dumbfounded. Then I happen to think of it from his perspective.... maybe someone has given him food that was tainted or spoiled or worse. Maybe he had a good reason. Just sayin'

@DavePi wrote:

I had an undesirable experience with a homeless guy at a mcdonalds shop. Guy stroked up a conversation with me, talked about Jesus, and at the end he wanted me to give him money to buy a mcfish sandwich. I only had a few dollars on me so I offered him 2 dollars. He asked for more money to buy the mcfish sandwich and said if I had a debit/credit card, which I didn't have on me. Kept insisting that I drove a nice car and implying I had money on me. When I drove back home, I pondered the situation and realized that the guy was doing his whole nice/religious guy act in order for me to feel guilty and give him money at the end.

That whole experience turned me off from giving money to the homeless.

They were definitely playing a role. From my point of view you were in the perfect situation to control the situation. No need to hand them money, offer to buy them the sandwich. If they won't accept the offer then you know what the deal is. I think the fact they mentioned your "card" leads me to believe they just wanted the food. If you could afford it make it a meal.

DavePi mentioned his card, and he felt he was entitled to his funds! Dave has a nice car and a card, so you deserve his money? That he worked for???

BYE

@ceasesmith wrote:

I don't know where you are, but where I am, you CANNOT get food stamps/EBT unless you have an address and ACCESS to a kitchen where you can cook. I'm not really sure of the reasoning behind that. Also there are restrictions -- you can't use them to purchase "prepared food", like in a restaurant. But you certainly can buy plenty of sodas and chips and cookies and "processed" food. Obviously, if you're homeless, you don't have an address, or access to a kitchen or other "cooking facility". And since you're homeless, by definition you don't have a refrigerator or storage, so you must get food every DAY, or buy food that can be kept without refrigeration or safe storage.

Haven't you ever heard of "food deserts"? Many people -- not just homeless -- have limited access to healthy food.

I have been homeless and without income. But I had a CAR, which made me infinitely wealthy compared to others. I HAVE begged for food; I have stood in a parking lot and told passers-by "I'm sorry to bother you, but I lost my job, and I have no money. I am hungry. I have $2, and I can get a chicken in WalMart for $5. Could you possibly spare $3?" No one was ever rude. In fact, the kindness of most people left me in tears.

There is no soup kitchen within 60 miles of me.

The closest food pantry is 12 miles away.

There was no public transit system until last year; we now have a bus that will deliver commodities and food bank boxes. The bus charges $5 per delivery. The $5 fee is covered by donors for those who cannot afford it; but these are NOT homeless people. The bus delivers to HOMES.

According to government "health statistics" that I read somewhere last week, about 19% of the adult population smokes cigarettes -- and 78% of those smokers live at income levels below Federal "poverty" levels. Only 1 in 11 of people who make more than $75,000 a year smokes cigarettes.

I didn't mean to rant, but I have been "down and out" -- and I feel that if someone hasn't been, they have no right to judge. You know, the old "walk a mile in his shoes" saying -- if you haven't been there, you have no idea how demeaning/degrading the whole thing is.

If you want to donate, I suggest The Salvation Army. They go directly to where the homeless are and hand out mittens, blankets, warm hats, and sandwiches, with no strings attached. And they do it without judgement and with GREAT compassion.

I know, because I was a recipient.

cease,

I'm touched by your story and experiences and thank you for sharing them. You bring a different perspective to homelessness and it brings a small bit of tears to my eyes. *I'd actually want to give you a hug.*

It also is a reminder that we shouldn't stereotype people or think that one bad experience means every other experience will be the same. The story I mentioned of my friend earlier is one where I understand his fears given his scary situation with his cousin. But, I would also hope that the both of them could learn to overcome those things and realize too that every situation is different.

In terms of the restrictions on who can receive food stamps and what you can buy with them, I think those are dumb rules. I can't see a good reason why you'd have to have an address and kitchen to receive food stamps.

It seems to me that homeless people are probably the most in need of food and it would seem to run counter to helping them. And it's also possible that a hamburger from McDonald's is cheaper to eat that way than to buy all the ingredients yourself to make. I read some article online once (I don't remember where or all the specifics) where they broke down the cost of a burger you could buy at a restaurant and what it would cost you to make it yourself. If I recall correctly, it turned out that the costs were very similar and it could actually be more cost effective to eat out sometimes. I seem to remember them factoring in electricity, having to have things in stock like the condiments, time it takes to cook something, the main ingredients, etc. and it all worked out so that the costs were not too far off for some types of foods. Depending on the circumstances, eating out might be cheaper.

When you factor in food deserts in many rural areas and inner-cities, then sometimes being able to eat at a restaurant would be good too (if they served healthier food).

America has a very, very poor record in my opinion on treating its poor with government assistance. Every modern nation has free healthcare and usually a better social safety net. If this wasn't a mystery shopping forum and thread, I'd be sitting here preaching why we should have elected Bernie Sanders!

But as I said earlier, I'm thankful you reminded me of what many of the hidden struggles are for the poor and homeless. Any one of us could be in that same situation.

An important maxim for life: "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you."

Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 02/07/2017 12:14AM by shoptastic.

I find it difficult to imagine living in an area without homeless people...one that has enough shelter beds etc. Maybe that is because it seems like all of your un housed homeless people are living just down the street from me in sunny So Cal. There is certainly no shortage.
I was having a park birthday party and there were a few homeless people hanging about nearby. There was a lot of birthday cake left over and untouched. I offered some to one of the men and he did not take it or comment. I had seen him going thru the park trash earlier looking for food. This is quite a common scene here. So I left the cake on the edge of the cover of the can. He came over later and took it away. There are those that are reticent to accept handouts and many that have little or no social skills and shy away from contact with others. Everyone, homeless or not has a different personality so as others have said don't let the actions of one color your feelings towards all.

@HonnyBrown wrote:

DavePi mentioned his card, and he felt he was entitled to his funds! Dave has a nice car and a card, so you deserve his money? That he worked for???

BYE

I remember a discussion we had at a Bible study on greed and my old pastor said that greed is something that anyone can have, be they rich or poor.

The same is true of many other characteristics. Some people can be very friendly and kind, while being very poor or being very rich. Some people can be very lazy, while growing up rich, as others are very hard-working, despite growing up with a lot o disadvantages.

To me, it sounded like the person in Dave's case was maybe on the greedy side. I'd have been thankful for just a hamburger if I was homeless and wouldn't have asked for a BigMac. At worst, if I actually asked for more, then I certainly wouldn't try to be pushy, manipulative, or try to guilt trip Dave.

Do keep in mind that not everyone is like that. I remember sometimes only have spare change that was less than $1.00 and the homeless recipients being very thankful for it (I could really see it in their eyes and tone of voice).

It just depends on the individual person. Some are very appreciate and, unfortunately, some might be greedy and manipulative.

Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 02/07/2017 12:26AM by shoptastic.

Can you message me where you live? I am so happy to hear that homelessness is rare there.

@HonnyBrown wrote:

DavePi mentioned his card, and he felt he was entitled to his funds! Dave has a nice car and a card, so you deserve his money? That he worked for???

BYE

Dave can speak for himself. You do not need to be confrontational or in any way interpret what I or he meant. The man did not ask for David's card, he did imply that David could afford to buy him a fish sandwich as apparently $2 wasn't enough. I am not sure what "BYE" means and I am pretty sure you do not have the discipline to leave things be.

If I offended you, for trying to educate you as to how your actions towards others could have been offensive, then I doubt I will in any way further help you understand things like compassion.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 02/07/2017 01:27AM by isaiah58.

@HonnyBrown wrote:

I gave a homeless person an apple I had left over from lunch. He threw it at me when I walked away.

LOL. Are you in CA? Only place I've ever been that homeless folks don't appreciate what is offered.

I tried to give a homeless guy a bagel in Santa Monica and he asked me what kind. I said " Onion" and he said Do you have any cinnamon raisin. I said no. He shook his head no. Only in Cali.

I have to say that I don't talk much, I offer what I have and they can say yes or no, but I don't feel the need to explain myself. If I see a homeless person that obviously wants or needs something, and I have something to give, I offer it to them. I NEVER give cash money, if they ask for gasoline money, I take them to the gas station and put $5 of gas in their car (most refuse). If they ask for food money I either take them shopping or buy them at meal at a fast food place, I've had them walk away while I'm buying the food they asked for too. I don't buy anyone alcohol, unless I had to buy an alcoholic beverage for a shop and I still have it in the car with me (doesn't seem to happen here in Alabama).

I don't do pizza shops anyway, simply because I can't eat them and if I do it takes 3 days before I can function well enough to leave the house again. Kinda puts a crimp in my mystery shopping..

There used to be a very nice homeless man and his dog that sat outside of a Ralph's grocery store, I would buy him a sandwich from the deli once in awhile. His dog was getting fat hanging out there though.. lol.

Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 02/07/2017 01:46AM by Morledzep.

I think this article best explains why we shouldn't feed the homeless.

"Please don't feed stray cats! Yes, it's fun to do! Many people feel good doing it. They think they're helping the cats. They get a warm fuzzy feeling inside. BUT FEEDING STRAY CATS HURTS THEM. Absolutely. I've seen dozens of horrific cases of diseased and malnourished packs of stray cats as a result of people leaving out food for them. This is because feeding causes a bunch of cats to get together, and dependent on human feeding, and they breed like crazy, and then you've got a lot of cats in one small area, they fight, they spread disease between each other, and the population grows too large to feed, and heaven help them when the overwhelmed human stops feeding them, they all starve even worse. It seems like every person who gets involved in heavy stray cat feeding regrets it - at least"

[www.aaanimalcontrol.com]

Cats aren't people.

@ceasesmith wrote:

Cats aren't people.

They aren't people in the colloquial sense. But they do share 90% of homologous genes with humans.

LOL! That happened in downtown Philly.

@Morledzep wrote:

@HonnyBrown wrote:

I gave a homeless person an apple I had left over from lunch. He threw it at me when I walked away.

LOL. Are you in CA? Only place I've ever been that homeless folks don't appreciate what is offered.

Oh geez, stop crying

@isaiah58 wrote:

@HonnyBrown wrote:

DavePi mentioned his card, and he felt he was entitled to his funds! Dave has a nice car and a card, so you deserve his money? That he worked for???

BYE

Dave can speak for himself. You do not need to be confrontational or in any way interpret what I or he meant. The man did not ask for David's card, he did imply that David could afford to buy him a fish sandwich as apparently $2 wasn't enough. I am not sure what "BYE" means and I am pretty sure you do not have the discipline to leave things be.

If I offended you, for trying to educate you as to how your actions towards others could have been offensive, then I doubt I will in any way further help you understand things like compassion.

In Venice Beach, I was sitting in my car waiting for a friend. I was parked in front of the restaurant was people watching for a bit. I saw a homeless man go into the trashcan by the restaurant, remove a styrofoam container and taste the food, and threw the container back in the trash. Then he spit the food in the trash.

When my friend got there, I told her we were going somewhere else. I gave him some cash for the review.

@calicakes wrote:

I tried to give a homeless guy a bagel in Santa Monica and he asked me what kind. I said " Onion" and he said Do you have any cinnamon raisin. I said no. He shook his head no. Only in Cali.

I am in Pa near Phila and the homeless here approach and ask for food or something. One guy wanted to wash my windows for a $1..... I was doing some gas shops and didin't have time I gave him the dollar anyway. But in my area if they're in need they approach and ask.... One young man told me he hadn't eaten in quite a while can you buy me a sandwich in the store.... I did ..... I can't refuse when asked it's my way of giving back.... I feel sorry for them. I drive a new car and don't want for anything..... I can't walk away.... just me I guess.

@HonnyBrown wrote:

In Venice Beach, I was sitting in my car waiting for a friend. I was parked in front of the restaurant was people watching for a bit. I saw a homeless man go into the trashcan by the restaurant, remove a styrofoam container and taste the food, and threw the container back in the trash. Then he spit the food in the trash.

When my friend got there, I told her we were going somewhere else. I gave him some cash for the review.

@calicakes wrote:

I tried to give a homeless guy a bagel in Santa Monica and he asked me what kind. I said " Onion" and he said Do you have any cinnamon raisin. I said no. He shook his head no. Only in Cali.

Apparently, in Los Angeles, beggars can be choosers.

You would be surprised.

One Sunday, I did my barefoot Venice Beach run. When I returned, I noticed my flip flops were moved from the lifeguard stand. I asked the resident homeless man if he saw them, and he told me he moved them for what ever reason.

We got into a conversation. He was articulate and very intelligent. He told me that his job was to comb the beach for lost items. Whatever wasn't claimed was pawned, and the funds sent to help third world countries.

I was impressed and dumbfounded. Then he started talking about the feather that fell out of the sky and made him Chief of Something Important.

I keep some bottled water and some packaged foods like Pop Tarts, Granola bars or something similar in my car. When I see some homeless person standing on the sidewalk or by the intersection to enter the freeway, I offered them the extra food. I give them a couple of the food items, not the entire box that it came in. I don't give out cash. Whenever there's a special sale on food items at my regular workplace, I would get a couple of the boxes that I can afford to buy and give out. I work at a club warehouse for my regular job. Example of special sale/markdown price- Poptarts, club sized box, marked down to $2.41 or club sized individual juice boxes, marked down to $1.91.

@catgrannyof5 wrote:

I keep some bottled water and some packaged foods like Pop Tarts, Granola bars or something similar in my car. When I see some homeless person standing on the sidewalk or by the intersection to enter the freeway, I offered them the extra food. I give them a couple of the food items, not the entire box that it came in. I don't give out cash. Whenever there's a special sale on food items at my regular workplace, I would get a couple of the boxes that I can afford to buy and give out. I work at a club warehouse for my regular job. Example of special sale/markdown price- Poptarts, club sized box, marked down to $2.41 or club sized individual juice boxes, marked down to $1.91.

I think giving out water could be more important than food at times.

Keeping hydrated is so important for so many basic bodily functions. I have a bunch of bottled waters in my trunk. I don't keep them in the sunlight exposed portion of my car, because that can activate cancer-causing problems with the bottles and water. This now makes me want to give out water along with money when I come across a person in need.

I don't mind giving out money. I don't keep food on me. But water + cash is something I'll offer from now on. Also, I was watching a video on YouTube about homelessness and a lot of women struggle between using cash they receive to buy food vs. tampons.

The cleanliness factor often overtakes their desire for food (not necessarily for all women, but for some). You'd be surprised how the homeless might rank things in terms of importance.

@HonnyBrown wrote:

I gave a homeless person an apple I had left over from lunch. He threw it at me when I walked away.

Too funny. Not everyone likes apples, homeless or not. Or maybe the person was warming up his/her arm to pitch for a softball game. Or maybe he/she has no teeth to actually bite into the apple. I have seen the "no teeth" scenario more times than I care to remember.

@eyelove2shop wrote:

People often think because someone is homeless they should accept anything given to them. They are still people and should be treated as such.

Sometimes they need money for medicine and sanitary items such a tampons or even clothes, or dog food.

I always ask before I offer and if I'm feeling extra generous I'll invite someone to come with me while I buy them a meal and I'll allow them to order.

I agree 100%, Homeless people are still people. Just like disabled people are still people. I will ask a homeless person if they are hungry or thirsty (for a non-alcoholic beverage.) The majority of them are happy to have the choice given to them. When I see a disabled person struggling with a task, I do not just take charge but I will ask them if they need any help. Most of them will turn me down but they thank me for asking.

@shoptastic wrote:

America has a very, very poor record in my opinion on treating its poor with government assistance. Every modern nation has free healthcare and usually a better social safety net.

no such thing as free. Somebody is paying for it.

@calicakes wrote:

I tried to give a homeless guy a bagel in Santa Monica and he asked me what kind. I said " Onion" and he said Do you have any cinnamon raisin. I said no. He shook his head no. Only in Cali.

I have a few friends (in Santa Monica) who have been down on their luck since the 2008 downturn. They are barely managing and have housing but cannot afford anything above the minimum with the wages they earn. Both of them go to the food bank to be able to fill their pantry. One of the local food banks gets food from Whole Foods, another has Trader Joe's. Amazing what kind of food they get from there so I am not surprised about the bagel story in Santa Monica because they often get gourmet food along with the fresh veggies, eggs, cereal and other staples. Many of the items can be eaten in the park. They regularly get $6 loaves of bread that were fresh yesterday. They even have gotten imported delicacies that are just a few days out of date...real maple syrup, imported fancy olives stuff like that. Not that I wish I were down on my luck to get these things but just saying when you are used to fancier food as handouts I guess you can get selective.

We have many homeless in SoCal. I have mostly positive experiences with offering food to homeless, on both shops and non-shop food/store visits. It can be hit or miss but I won’t stop offering food here and there whenever I can. I never just assume they need it, which is why I offer first, by asking. I don’t give out money, though I know some folks who do. When asked for money, I just say “sorry” and move along. I don’t feel the need to give a reason.

I did a drive through burger shop (not McD) which was bonused, so I did it for the fee, not for the food. I was actually on my way to my gym, so I was planning to toss the food, but saw a homeless lady in a parking lot on the way to the freeway. I pulled in, got out of the car, and approached her. I told her I had an extra burger and fries that I wasn’t going to eat, if she wanted it? She immediately answered yes, so I went back and got the food and the soda. She had a push-cart with her and I hadn’t noticed the little dog in it when I first approached her. She thanked me repeatedly, and as I left I saw she took the meat patty out of the burger for the little dog to eat, excitedly told him that he was getting some dinner tonight, and she ate the remaining food.

Another time was a bonused McD breakfast shop (boy I don’t miss the food but I miss those bonuses!) I did the dine-in portion first, and when I walked back to my car, I saw a homeless man at the alley across the driveway, using a spigot to wash his hands and face. After the drive through portion of the shop, I pulled into the alley and asked if he could use a hot McMuffin, hash browns, and orange juice. I saw his eyes light up, he said “Yes, thank you, god bless you, have a blessed day!” He sat down on the curb and started gobbling it down before I even walked away.

Another time I was on route of pizza shops, and I had no intentions of eating any of the pizza. There was a man and woman in the same strip-mall center as the pizza store begging for money, food, etc. I made my purchase, went to my car and took the obligatory photos, then approached the couple, told them I had an extra pizza and asked if they would like it? The man said yes, and then the woman came running over and asked if I could go back in and buy them some wings and a 2-liter bottle of soda too. I said, no, I just have the pizza – sorry! And then I left, despite the lady calling after me that she really wanted those wings. I had my then-9-year old son with me, and when we got back into the car, he exclaimed, “Wow, that lady was greedy!” (I had to agree though I really like wings too, haha!)

On a non-shop visit to the grocery store, I was approached in the parking lot by a man asking for money to buy food. I had just purchased a lot of hardy produce and a large pack of bottled water for an upcoming camping trip, so I told him that I didn't have any cash, but I could give him some apples, bananas, oranges, and a few bottles of water. He said “No way!” and walked off, laughing.

On a non-shop visit to Dollar Tree, I saw a young man sitting outside with a sign that indicated he needed food, money, work, “anything helps”. So I made my purchases, but also grabbed what few food items I could find to offer him – granola bars, cold bottle of water, cold soda (it was a very hot day), crackers, trail mix, etc. I offered it to him, and told him it wasn’t much but hoped that it helped a little. He was very grateful and said “thanks, god bless you!”

Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 02/08/2017 07:42PM by Rancid13.

The Ralphs near me leaves excellent food outside the back of the store for the taking.. Loafs of bread that cost 4.00, pastry, many free basics put out daily. When I go to SB for my coffee i see it and wonder why they don't hang out there. Santa Monica and the city has soup kitchens that feed them daily, I presume that's where they go. Santa Monica has a park near the ocean, and with our weather being gorgeous they sit there all day, then go eat. My suburban town doesn't have soup kitchens, not many homeless here, I've only seen one who goes to Whole Food and gets free coffee and samples, with no one saying anything, maybe she's smart or has good taste, she certainly doesn't look hungry. The freeway has them, but I think they're not looking for a cup of coffee, i think they want cash for booze. I'm sure they'd be offended if I tried to give them a left over cold piece of pizza like I've read on the forum.