I have done these shops regularly since 2011. I still do one particular location at least once per month, so I will address the questions in each of the above posts.
1. These shops are not funny, but they are basically integrity shops.
2. The pay is very good. The client reimburses fully for the required purchases, which can range from under $100 to a few hundred dollars depending on the type of shop.
3. You do not get a receipt for lap dances. You just enter the amount in the report and get reimbursed. Remember this is an integrity shop, and there are cameras everywhere but the restrooms.
4. I take my wife with me on the shop every month. It keeps me from having as many of the ladies hang on me and try to solicit lap dances. She likes to watch the pole dancers, and she also likes to help me eat the appetizer. Almost every month, I see at least one female being given a lap dance by one of the female dancers. Sometimes a woman will treat her man and buy him a lap dance; sometimes it's the other way around. They watch. The woman-on-woman lap dance customers seem to have the most fun.
5. There is also a client with male dancers, but this one requires a visit to the private room. I stopped doing private room lap dances when I met my wife, but I still take her with me to do the observation shops.
6. If they offer illegal extras while you are in the private room with them, it will be for a later time outside the club. Those illegal extras will not be performed inside the club, because there is a Security person in the private room with you and the dancer. He stands and watches to make sure nothing happens.
7. You can say you don't have a car, because you arrived in a limo. If she wants to go to outside to smoke crack in your car, you say you have to stop in the restroom first. You should have at least her stage name and a description by now. You use your cell phone to alert whomever it you are supposed to alert. You report the incident as your client instructions tell you. If you are an experienced mystery shopper, and I doubt an inexperienced shopper would be assigned one of these shops, you think on your feet and come up with an excuse.
8. The pay is very good and the reports are not difficult, and the hours are not usually later than a typical nightclub shop.