Reports

Hello. Ive been doing some mystery shopping in the last few months. I have a hard time with the writing. I am not detailed enough. I think the report is good but i always get not so good feedback. Any suggestions? Thanks

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What does the feedback say? For many reports, your narrative should tell the whole story beginning to end with specific details. For example, if describing the greeting, you could say, "Susie greeted me as soon as I reached the counter. She smiled, made eye contact, and stepped toward me. She said, 'Good morning. Did you find everything okay?'" Many MSc also have sample reports showing what they consider to be good ones.

Do you have someone to help fix up your sentence structures? My grown children helped fix up my sentences into a more, understandably sentence structure when stuck. For example, on a grocery shop, I explained to my kids that I couldn't see the associate's name tag because she leaned against the display case and stood there the entire time while she talked to me. Here's how my son fixed up my sentence- I was unable to obtain the associate's name since she leaned against the display case. The associate stood behind the display case during the interaction. The display case obstructed my view of the associate's name tag. You'll eventually get there on improving on your writing. It may take longer to fill out the reports but you want to do a better job.

Think of your report as a story so that someone who wasn't there could understand exactly what happened. You don't have to give every single little detail but enough of the important events.

Once you write a good report, it will become 2nd nature to you to do it each time.

It may sound like a crutch, but running the video recorder on your phone during the shop, then writing what you hear, can help your reports significantly. It's not good in every situation. But helps fill out the narrative when it is.

For some MSCs the narrative is nothing more than spitting back the questions in the report.

Equal rights for others does not mean fewer rights for you. It's not pie.
"I prefer someone who burns the flag and then wraps themselves up in the Constitution over someone who burns the Constitution and then wraps themselves up in the flag." -Molly Ivins
Never try to teach a pig to sing. It's a waste of your time and it really annoys the pig.

I like the reports that ask if the sales associate mentioned their frequent buyer program (for example). If no, explain. Um, the sales associate didn't mention their frequent buyer program. Seems pretty obvious what no means.

This is the latest feed back from a shop: Thank you for your report. In the future, your narrative MUST be a detailed, step-by-step account of your entire phone conversation. Your narrative needed more details, but I was able to fill them in from the recording. Some information had to be moved around as it was in the incorrect spot. Next time, please use the questions in the survey as a guide for your narratives. In the future, please be sure to fully explain every "No" response in the narrative. In this report, there were four "No" responses not mentioned in your comments.

I;m not lazy and I have a Masters degree but I just don't notice that it needs more detail. I'm thinking about taking a creative writing class or something. (sigh)

I agree with LisaSTL. I have learnt to always repeat back all yes and no answer's. Answering all questions without being to wordy.
I arrived during normal business hours. There were two tellers assisting customers. I waited one minute when the teller called me over to her window. She was wearing a name tag. The teller greeted me with, "Hi, how are you today?" I placed my deposit slip on the counter. The teller asked me to swipe my ATM card. She was accurate and efficient in handling my transaction. We had a pleasant conversation about the weather. etc. etc.
I have received almost all 10s on my reports, not just banking.

I don't think you need to take a class, just give them exactly what they ask for.

Every MSC wants the 'No' answers explained. You could simply say, 'The associate did not say state their name' if the question was 'Did the associate state their name.' Keep it simple but direct and to the point. No subjective unless they ask for it. Just facts and in chronological order.

Mystery shopping reports are not creative writing so I would not recommend the class. It makes me chuckle because to me they are more like the old Dick and Jane primers used in grade schools years ago. Simple, to the point sentences. See Spot run. Run Spot, run. You get the picture.

Use lots of adjectives, too.

Exactly. They don't want flowery phrases or anything that could be construed as opinion and subjective writing (unless they specifically ask for your opinion). Like Lisa wrote, simple phrases are best. But, sometimes they want to know a little more about why you thought the associate was friendly. I have seen associates who smiled and offered a verbal greeting but did not really seem friendly. If you thought the associate was friendly, you could write something like: The associate greeted me with a cheerful smile and spoke with enthusiasm as she said, "Hello. How are you doing today?" That kind of thing.

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