I'm no longer half of a couple, so I can't shop!

My husband passed away in June...this was very sudden and obviously my life was turned upside down. This has basically cut my mystery shopping down to almost nil, because most dining shops require 2 and only 2 people. Most of my friends are couples and several would gladly go with me and pay for the extra meal --- to them it would be like a B1G1. But 99.9% of the MSCs won't hear of it: "The client only allows two people." Could someone please explain to me what harm would come from the restaurant receiving the revenue back on one meal? I miss the dinners out ---even though they certainly would not be the same without my hubby---and the opportunity to have some sense of familiar in my life. Two smaller companies I know of are fine with it, but that's it. I built up my MS business over 15 years to a really lucrative thing and it saddens me to let my good reputation just go away. (And I could go for a prime steak, white tablecloth and no dishes to do!) This is probably more of a rant than anything, so thank you for allowing me to rant!

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I'm so sorry for your loss.

Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 10/22/2017 03:19AM by ChrisCooper.

Sign up for Rewards programs Mimi"s has a great buy one get one free. i use it for weekend breakfast with a friend, then we split the one breakfast.. Red Robin as well...look into it. I'm sure a lady friend will join you for a nice dinner, why not....adjusting is the hardest part.

Live consciously....

I am so sorry to hear that, Eileen. I can't imagine. I do know that there are some shops you can do where you can dine alone, but they aren't white tablecloth kind of venues. But the food is decent, just not fine dining. Reality Based Group has shops where you can dine at the bar alone, and Mercantile has some shops you can do alone on their Shop Metrics site. As far as shops that you can take two other people, ACL has some in my area from time to time. Once a year Customer Impact has a fine dining shop in my area that allows up to 4 people to go. I really can't think of any other MSCs. I can only guess that they think more than just one other person will be too distracting for a shopper to be able to pay attention to all of the necessary details. Maybe someone else will chime in with some ideas of other MSCs who have dinner shops where you can take more than just one other person. Again, I am so very sorry for your loss.

Thank you...I am combing ACL's site for those 3-people shops...that would be a really nice way to thank the people who have been so kind to me. I will check on Mercantile. Thanks for the suggestions...and your kind words.

I’m so sorry for your loss, I can bet the adjustment is so difficult to lose your partner suddenly. I know you are right that many don’t need want more than 2 people but I know Strategic Reflections has some shops that do not specify the amount of people but they only reimburse one meal and the other one is dinner at the bar that you can do solo. I do that one often and love it. Definitely check out A Closer Look as others have mentioned they have some in my area with a few different restaurants that could work for you. Hang in there and best of luck to you!

Reality Based Group also has casual dining that allows up to 5 diners total.

I think the main issue is finding companies that not only allow more than one other person but will also pay for the other diners' meals. I know that Customer Impact reimburses based on the number of people, up to $100 per person. I wish they had more than just one shop a year, though. Actually, now that I think about it, that restaurant is shopped more than once a year it's just that the shopper is only allowed to do it once a year.

I feel sorry for your loss. I'm single so I usually don't get to do most of the dining shops either, especially those for ACL. There are also some entertainment shops for Amusement Advantage that I miss out on because they require two people, specifically stating that the other person can help you remember names, descriptions of people you interact with, etc., to help with your shop.

I've considered the possibility of reaching out to other shoppers on this forum to see if anyone wants to accompany me for a free meal or whatever, but that's a little too far out of my comfort zone.

I always just pick up someone from my local backpage website and take them as the other person.

So sorry for your loss, dear. Even if guidelines for ACL say two people, sometimes I get permission for one additional or even solo (just me). If you see something you are interested in, just ask. It doesn't hurt to ask. My mommy taught me that.

TinaMarie

I am so sorry for you loss.

I've had 3 and 4 person restaurant shops with Customer Impact, ACL, and Coyle. For ACL, I would contact your scheduler directly. Not sure what market you're in, but the scheduler in my area (AZ) is super sweet and accommodating when she can be.

@beaveman wrote:

I feel sorry for your loss. I'm single so I usually don't get to do most of the dining shops either, especially those for ACL. There are also some entertainment shops for Amusement Advantage that I miss out on because they require two people, specifically stating that the other person can help you remember names, descriptions of people you interact with, etc., to help with your shop.

Amusement Adv is a great idea, actually, because it's not just roller coasters. You might find a museum shop where you can take your friends, and eat at the restaurant, which can be pretty nice. And I'm also to hear about the loss of your husband, Eileen.

If you have a Cattlemen's restaurant in your area, the shop allows up to 3 people. Sorry, can't name the MSC since I named the client. Sorry to hear about your loss. I had been a widow for over 18 years myself. My adult kids are my plus one for the dining shops.

Oh, I'm so sorry for your loss.

I’m so sorry for your loss!

For the shops, would it be possible to sometimes only dine with the female of the couple? After all, who doesn’t need a girls’ night out sometimes?

I'm so sorry. I know this is a difficult time for you. Bestmark has a reimbursement only casual dining shop available that requires at least 2 adults.

What's done is done. An egg cracked cannot be cured.
There are 3 kinds of lies. Lies, Damn lies, and statistics.

Maybe if you post your location a local shopper may be willing to join you?
A sudden loss of spouse must be an incredible difficult thing to overcome. I am sorry.

If you have a brother, a cousin, a friend that lives nearby that, of course, would be the solution. Do you belong to a church, synagogue or other religious place? If none of those do you have a married couple as close friends? The wife may not appreciate your dining with her husband regularly but perhaps you could alternate him and her. If the shops require 2 people and don't specify sex perhaps you have a former high school or college friend that you can look up. Even if the friend is female and married girls night out is a good idea. Just some thoughts.

I'm sorry to hear about your loss.

@Jas...I work for Customer Impact for years, and they have a to go job for one or else everything is for two, have never seen more through them. Some companies have more, not monthly, but she is also on the West Coast,
I know of one high end restaurant that at times will do up to four, it's a wine as well as dinner evaluation, allowing up to $400.00 reimbursement which comes up a few times a year. I had to turn it down due to not having enough people and I didn't want to put out that money, since I'm not a wine lover. I think it would be more enjoyment for
you to just go out with your friends and not bother with a report.....although lunch places are easier to find with your friends paying their way. .. you'll find a way ,perhaps finding another shopper here on the forum, I have done that, and they help with some detail, then take you on a shop.

Live consciously....

Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 10/22/2017 04:43PM by Irene_L.A..

Eileen,

I am so sorry for your loss. I can't imagine what you are going through, but I applaud you for still shopping. When I lost my 7 year old son four years ago, I completely shut down and just started shopping again this past summer.

Oh dear, soccermom, the loss of a child...wow that is just so awful I am so sorry. We just never know what kind of tragic circumstances our fellow shoppers are going through or have gone through. My condolences to everyone who has suffered the loss of someone close.

Hi Eileen, my deepest condolences.

When I read your message it reminded me of something I think about every now and then, but just haven't got around to asking. Have any shoppers considered teaming up for restaurant and amusement shops? I'm surprised not to see much discussion about it. I think there are obvious concerns, but also ways of working out those concerns. For example, there is the question of who gets the pay. Of course, shoppers could take turns when it comes to that part. They could coin flip to see who goes first or only accept the other person going first if they'd be okay with only getting dinner in return, etc. I think it would be a great way to potentially make new friends, or even just share experiences with each other as shoppers. I haven't done any sit down restaurant shops involving more than just myself, so I'd be willing to forgo the pay a couple of times just to observe how the more experienced shopper goes about it. The one getting paid could cover the bill, in exchange for collecting the reimbursement and pay later. And then vice versa the next time, and so on.

I have done restaurant shops with two shoppers who live in L.A. I think it a great idea, as they know when to talk, what to do and help with details. Taking turns makes it easier, but as happens schedules get in the way, as my friend shoppers work. I don't know any shoppers in my town, so, can't do it often. I know many know each other through conferences etc. Have to live close by since driving in LA. is the culpert. I do want to say, being alone hasn't hindered me in the least.I do many lunch shops alone and have been working for 11` years. I prefer working alone most of the time.

Live consciously....

Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 10/22/2017 11:30PM by Irene_L.A..

Next time I come to LA, Irene, I will let you know in advance. I think I would like to just go hang out and eat/drink on a non-shop, though!

First, I am also sorry for your loss. My two favorite dining shops I get are through Goodwin Hospitality on ISS. They are not “fine” dining, but they are VERY good local favorites. Both shop allow multiple guests.

vegbeauti, it probably will not be up to the shoppers about whose shop it is or who gets the pay and reimbursement. The MSC will be approving and assigning the shops. Rotations will also need to be considered. As married shoppers will attest, their spouse often won't be eligible for the next round because even being a guest is sometimes factored in for rotations. It is still a great idea. I've often read about shoppers who accompany each other.

Equal rights for others does not mean fewer rights for you. It's not pie.
"I prefer someone who burns the flag and then wraps themselves up in the Constitution over someone who burns the Constitution and then wraps themselves up in the flag." -Molly Ivins
Never try to teach a pig to sing. It's a waste of your time and it really annoys the pig.

LisaSTL, that is a good point! Let's say, all scheduling complications aside, how do you (or anyone else) think that shoppers could go about finding each other for these purposes? Have you ever heard of a way?

I met my two shopper friends on the forum and after awhile when I got a job in the city for two, I invited Steve who lives there. I met SandyF while working in the city, we just met for coffee and have become friends. This is a good way to meet, how else? MSing is a loner's delight, and is why the forum works....use it to your advantage.
Someone just PM'd me, knowing I am alone, and although she lives in another state, it's good to keep in touch.
We travel, so, can meet at some point.

Live consciously....

Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 10/23/2017 12:03AM by Irene_L.A..

I've met a couple of local shoppers, one by chance, the other by design, here in town. I met another at the IMSC conference along with video shoppers who occasionally pass through while crisscrossing the country.

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I'm no longer half of a couple, so I can't shop!

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