So today while shopping a convenience store the greeting I got was "how you doin today baby?" I have difficulty writing that down. Even forgiving the bad grammar, the "baby" is ridiculous. Of course I'm in the south and women, especially, talk to each other like that.
Bless their hearts.

Yup, I used to be afraid it might cost them their jobs if I put that they said baby, honey, sweetheart, darlin', etc. because of our politically correct environment these days. But, I just started doing it about 6 months ago and they all still work at the same convenience stores--apparently it's okay with the client for them to do that (and I live in the Midwest). And we know what "Bless their hearts" really means, LOL.

I have not done one of those shops for some time. Remembering the exact greetings was a huge stress for me. This makes no sense at all, bless my heart, because I remember other information all the time. They are quick and otherwise easy. Bless their hearts.

I generally leave off things like that unless for some odd reason I feel like it's relevant.
"how you doin today" was the greeting. That is not incorrect. Those were the first 4 words she said. It is not an untrue statement.

Also bless your heart for being in the south

Why did I think you lived in NoCal?

Well, bless your lil ole pea-pickin' hearts!

I walked in the USPS and the clerk said "How are you today, gorgeous?"

I looked around to see who was behind me.....

Cuz I grew up in NW Florida? Bless your heart. Oh, were you talking to the rural upper midwest girl?

To me, recently it became more relevant because when these endearments are used, most of the time they aren't in a mechanical fashion and it's in a bright, super enthusiastic manner. And the scoring changed on these shops so I have been wanting to explain exactly why. I do have to quote what they said and then give a scoring at the end, so I give an explanation.

I'm not a fan of greetings like "How ya doin", or bless your heart, we really don't get much here, but the workers with tattoo's say how ya doin, have a good one, (have a good what)? I do usually get "Have a great day" which is acceptable...funny, how it works in different parts of our land.....I'm insulted when one calls me sweetie...ugh!!!!

@ceasesmith wrote:

Well, bless your lil ole pea-pickin' hearts!

I walked in the USPS and the clerk said "How are you today, gorgeous?"

I looked around to see who was behind me.....

I usually reply, “You’re my new boyfriend.”

I do recorded calls and on several occasions, have been called - Honey, sweetheart, sweetie and darling. Usually, the person on the other end is very old. Otherwise, some of those words would just sound icky.

"How you doin?"..maybe it's Joey Tribbiani being mystery shopped?

Endearments said in a sincere manner in my opinion are always welcome. They make my day.

I really had a hard time actually writing it down. First I wrote it, then I deleted it and wrote "how are you doing" and then that was not even close, it felt like so I wrote down her exact words. I really hope there are no repercussions for her. Like I said, they all talk like that. The reason I don't care for it is not because I don't like endearments, it's sweet in a way. It makes me aware that women are participating in the minimization of other women without even knowing they are doing it.
And for me in particular, I'm an old crabby woman who would as soon whack you with my purse as look at you, so being called "baby" is eye rolling material.

God only knows. It can't be my slick sophisticated forum chatter.

@bgriffin wrote:

Also bless your heart for being in the south

Why did I think you lived in NoCal?

@Madetoshop wrote:

Endearments said in a sincere manner in my opinion are always welcome. They make my day.

I use them to diffuse potentially dangerous situations. For example, I had more than a couple people come in with clearly stolen or fake credit cards or even fake travelers checks. They were most always men. Fairly often, they were under the influence. I generally called them "Sweetie." I have never seen anyone shot after calling somebody sweetie. So far, so good. It usually calms them. "I'm so sorry sweetie. This card isn't working. Do you want to call your bank?" (Yeah right)

I like it when kids and 20-somethings call me ma'am. I'm ok with that all day long.

"How's your day going so far?" is like nails on a chalkboard to me. Darn millennials. And they love to say, "I appreciate you." Ugh.

I use exactly what was said to me. Writing anything else is falsifying the report.

@Mum wrote:

"How you doin?"..maybe it's Joey Tribbiani being mystery shopped?

Nah. Thats, "How YOU doing?"
(I wanted italics but can't find a way to do it in the phone)

@ceasesmith wrote:

Well, bless your lil ole pea-pickin' hearts!

I walked in the USPS and the clerk said "How are you today, gorgeous?"

I looked around to see who was behind me.....

Cease..I just love you...Bless your heart!

This is a little sideways from the OP, but I can't stand the new, "Welcome in" as a welcome greeting. UGH!! If the employee is lazy doesn't want to say a greeting including the store name (which most retailers want I think), WTHeck is wrong with just Good morning or Good afternoon?

When we moved to Pennsylvania from New York -- hardly a move to the deep south or anything -- I was surprised at the common greetings/terms of endearment used here. People are always saying "dear, honey, hon, sweetie," etc, Cashiers, restaurant servers, customers in stores, and so on. Nobody says "baby," though! But here it's genuine, and I don't mind it a bit. If a stranger in Rochester had ever called me "hon," I'd have wondered what was wrong with her/him.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 06/25/2019 01:44PM by BirdyC.

I'm in the deep South - 'honey' and 'sweetie' generally don't bother me though admit to twitching when someone half my age addresses me with it.

As for 'Bless Your Heart', it truly is a multi-purpose phrase. It can be used to express sympathy or snarkiness.
it's all in the delivery.

Bless all y'all's hearts!

In the early 2000's we had finished shopping for cars and had settled on that one at my local dealer of that brand. My husband was over there finishing up the details of the deal and put the salesman on the phone. As soon as he called me sweetheart in his smarmy Hollywood hiring person trying to get you in bed speak voice I asked him to put my husband on and told him not to purchase from that guy. We had to drive to another city to purchase that same car.
Babe or any of these other things would not bother me at all if it was with a southern drawl and esp from a female. The one that bothers me is, "have a blessed day". I am not religious and for some reason to me that smacks of religion. I am guessing it does not bother anyone else but me but every time I hear it I think of church being forced down my throat.

@Mum wrote:

I do recorded calls and on several occasions, have been called - Honey, sweetheart, sweetie and darling. Usually, the person on the other end is very old. Otherwise, some of those words would just sound icky.

My best friend in the world is from NE England. In the early days of our friendship I was quite confused when he addressed me as "My love." That got us started on what has become an almost 20 year exchange of usages that are regional, whether to the US or to Britain. (Don't even get me started on attic vs loft.) Through thick and thin and a whole bunch of words, in English (supposedly) that one or the other had never heard, we have, mostly, avoided being "mizled" or "blithered."



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 06/25/2019 06:42PM by walesmaven.

I've sure picked up the habit since I've moved to the south. However, I was embarrassed the last time I called a cashier "honey."

Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 06/25/2019 06:54PM by msmsmshopper.

Sandy...I am so with you, the word Bless or Blessed is very religious to me, after moving here we had our share of "religious groups" soliciting and ignoring our signs of NO SOLICITATIONS, ringing bells trying to get people to join and always ending with "Have a Blessed day". I'm Jewish honney, not changing, stop trying. and growing up in a diverse city, had never heard anyone say that...don't tell me it's not religion based. The other thing, if I ever call anyone I don't know sweetie/honney it's a put down (believe it).

@sandyf wrote:

The one that bothers me is, "have a blessed day". I am not religious and for some reason to me that smacks of religion. I am guessing it does not bother anyone else but me but every time I hear it I think of church being forced down my throat.

First, good for you for sticking to your beliefs and telling your hubs to not buy from that guy. That kind of condescending jackhole is why a lot of people hate salespeople.

Second, my part time job is at a thrift shop, which I absolutely love. It is owned by a church, but there is no overt religious anything when you get into the store. THere's no mention of the church other than a small print on our business cards and in our marketing stuff. When I was working full time as a bartender elsewhere and was at the TS once a week, it was like a breath of fresh air. Now I have noticed that people are saying "have a blessed day" and at minimum once a week, someone tries to hand me one of those religious pamphlets. That is not appropriate in any situation but it kills me that these people are peddling this stuff to someone who is waiting on them. (I never got anything like that at the bar, but several servers said they got that either in "addition to" or in lieu of their tip.

@Jenny Cassada wrote:

@sandyf wrote:

The one that bothers me is, "have a blessed day". I am not religious and for some reason to me that smacks of religion. I am guessing it does not bother anyone else but me but every time I hear it I think of church being forced down my throat.

First, good for you for sticking to your beliefs and telling your hubs to not buy from that guy. That kind of condescending jackhole is why a lot of people hate salespeople.

Second, my part time job is at a thrift shop, which I absolutely love. It is owned by a church, but there is no overt religious anything when you get into the store. THere's no mention of the church other than a small print on our business cards and in our marketing stuff. When I was working full time as a bartender elsewhere and was at the TS once a week, it was like a breath of fresh air. Now I have noticed that people are saying "have a blessed day" and at minimum once a week, someone tries to hand me one of those religious pamphlets. That is not appropriate in any situation but it kills me that these people are peddling this stuff to someone who is waiting on them. (I never got anything like that at the bar, but several servers said they got that either in "addition to" or in lieu of their tip.

I find that "have a blessed day" is very popular. I hear it constantly. When I call 800 numbers for companies I deal with like the gas company and other public places they end the call that way. And at stores I hear it in closing too often. I think for many it is not a religious statement but they just use the word blessed like it is used when someone sneezes and they say God Bless You in return. I think many people do not connect that blessed to a religious connotation. The sneeze thing does not bother me at all. I even say it and grew up with it but never thought about that word God I was saying. Sorry all you other Jewish people out there as I know it is a sin to spell the word G-D out. But I am non practicing. But the blessed day thing is relatively new so that really does grate on my ear.
As for my husband I am sure he grew up with females being called honey, sweetheart, and even the older gals calling themselves girl so I am sure he heard it and thought nothing of it. All of them are very demeaning towards women, I agree with you. He had no issue with not buying the car from that guy. Too bad for that guy as I imagine the commission on that car was more than a few dollars. He really was in the biz though as he was the salesperson at that dealer appointed to handle all the movie people of which my husband was one. I think I taught my husband a thing or two. He used to constantly make mother in law jokes even though he really liked my mother but it was almost as if making mother in law jokes was a necessary part of male life. After I mentioned it to him he stopped doing it.

Think I prefer the blessed day to the cursed eternity in the depths of hellllll approach. As long as people are not evangelizing, they can say these things and not violate anyone's anything. Well, in the sensible part of the world this might be true. In the politically correct lunacy, absolutely everything and everyone are potentially offensive.

I appreciate and feel the difference in the way people talk....just say, have a nice day and be done with it..... .I have a thick skin and am not offended by much and have a wicked sense of humor, so can laugh if it's funny. I think I may say, :"May the blessed be with YOU," or next time I do a job say, Hey babe, how ya doin!!! Ya all have a good one, later gator....now I'm being silly...oh well. its late.....



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 06/26/2019 06:58AM by Irene_L.A..