Stories from the trenches.

Does anybody here still read Reader's Digest? Sort of on the line of "All in a Day's Work" humor column in the Reader's Digest. Sort of in the interest of keeping people's spirits up.
Sort of in keeping with that old saw, "misery shared is halved; joys shared, multiplied".

Let's try to keep it appropriate to MSing, or at least enough to keep it from being transferred into chat, OK?

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I had half a dozen items on my grocery list yesterday, all very inexpensive, so all would fit in the normal reimbursement. I got a head of lettuce, a loaf of bread, a dozen eggs. No toilet paper (of course!), and rationing signs in various departments --bread, soaps, paper towels, etc. Last item was a bag of tortillas.

I'm standing in the checkout line and the clerk darts out from behind the register, grabs the tortillas and bread, and tells me I have to put one back.

Dummy me, I asked why?

"They are both bread products. Didn't you see the signs?"

"Well, yes, I did. I saw the signs on the bread case. The tortillas weren't in the bread aisle. And besides, I've never thought of corn being bread."

"Cornbread," she stated, flatly. "Haven't you ever heard of cornbread?"


I put back the tortillas.

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I think I would have smacked the clerk with the tortillas. Well, not really but I would not have accepted her judgement that tortillas were a bread product and insisted that she ring up both.
I say, run with the cornbread!! Remember the Seinfeld episode about the rye bread. He mugged the old lady for the loaf!
I believe that was a marble rye bread and the last one in the bakery. Funny. Seeded Jewish rye with a crispy crust is my favorite.
I hate it when cashiers make their own rules and enforce them. They do it all the time. I would have escalated to a manager, if I had time. Mostly because of the attitude that she seems to have dished out. It's not like you were trying to buy 10 loaves of the same bread which people had been doing, thereby necessitating the current limits. Was it a shop? Even better if so, write it up!

When I was living in Arizona everything went on a tortilla instead of bread. I still use tortillas over bread to this day. Funny but I like the flour tortillas instead of the corn tortilla. Would this cashier consider hard shell tortillas bread too? What about sweetbreads well we are on the subject or pie crust, or any of the other bread like items. Hope your shop if it was went well otherwise. Unfortunately we can't do anything to make ourselves memorable on shops. So escalating to a manger would be a no no.

Shopping Western NY, Northeast and Central PA, and parts of Ohio and West Virginia. Have car will travel anywhere if the monies right.
"What about sweetbreads" How could anyone ever consider sweetbreads to be a bread product unless there was supposed to be a space in therewinking smiley

Equal rights for others does not mean fewer rights for you. It's not pie.
"I prefer someone who burns the flag and then wraps themselves up in the Constitution over someone who burns the Constitution and then wraps themselves up in the flag." -Molly Ivins
Never try to teach a pig to sing. It's a waste of your time and it really annoys the pig.
OMG well we know what those really are so, not really into eating organ meats myself. As they are not bread related, and ugh to the sweatbreads...
That always freaks me out about chopped. Sweetbreads. And some other things. I love cooking and all things related, but I could never have been a chopped judge and subjected myself.

Okay, back on topic. I was working inside grocery stores doing simple audits in the HB section. I had a dozen customers ask me about hand sanitizer. NONE available, sorry.
Last week i mailed a gift to Grandson for his 3rd Birthday as I will not be flying to New York to help celebrate in person. The box I *just happened* to have in the basement was smaller than 12 x 12 x 12. I had to keep reminding myself it was O.K. to add items even if the box weighed more than 2 lbs.
At the post office I was asked if anything inside was hazardous. I automatically recited the HAZMAT question. But deflected suspicion by using regular Ground not Priority.
Yep I had to put back the roll of paper towels since I had a sixpack of toilet paper. Only one paper product allowed! But they do different things. I put back the paper towels - priorities.
I had a 10 pound bag of flour and a pack of three single-use yeasts, which are items I commonly buy. The "lady" behind me in line had her cart filled all the way up with all the flour she could fit in there. Not a bit of yeast or any leavening agent. Turned out she didn't know she needed anything but flour and water to make bread. The cashier made her put back all but one 10 pound bag of the flour. I hope her flour and water bread came out well.
Actually, it's an illustration of why shopping grocery stores right now is not fair. I felt accosted (yes; accosted) by her in-my-face accusation. All the employees are stressed, there's huge pallets of product all over they are frantically attempting to shelve, etc., etc., etc.
I heard this today on the radio:

Rodney Dangerfield was at the golf course. He was grimacing when he stopped at the 19th hole.

"How'd ja do?" asked the bartender.
"I hit 2 balls at the same time!" he replied.
"How'd ja do that?"
"Stepped on a rake".
@ceasesmith wrote:

Actually, it's an illustration of why shopping grocery stores right now is not fair. I felt accosted (yes; accosted) by her in-my-face accusation. All the employees are stressed, there are huge pallets of product all over they are frantically attempting to shelve, etc., etc., etc.

It isn't just unfair, it is asinine and does not provide usable data. I can't fathom the stress grocery employees are under right now.
Some expert bakers know how to utilize the yeasts that naturally adhere to the wheat as the only leavening for their bread. It is very slow and takes a long time, though, as it involves making sourdough starter over days. There are recipes online:

I am not making bread at this time. I love to do it, and I have recipes ranging from old grandma recipes for the most cake-like bread on the planet *smacks lips* to the varieties of rolls and even some gluten-free stuff of today. There are sprouted and other frozen breads at a local health food store. Eventually, if it is an easy and pleasant process to obtain baking supplies, I will bake something again.

The most dangerous idea is silencing people. - Naval Ravikant
I wish I had kept up with my sourdough starter. It makes the best bread, and as Susan L mentioned, no yeast required.
There are reportedly sourdough starters in San Francisco that are over 100 years old.

Not the cook. The dough.

smiling smiley

Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 03/27/2020 05:35PM by ceasesmith.
Wow, we have sunk to making our own bread.

"There's so much trouble in this world; surrounded by miracles" - Citizen Cope
I have made bread for over 50 years, although I still buy good quality sliced bread from the store frequently. I just like the smell of baking bread and the taste of it. I use a 5-minute recipe that does not require the bread to be kneaded. I can make a rustic boule with just flour, yeast, salt and water, and it goes great with soups and salads.
@HonnyBrown wrote:

Wow, we have sunk to making our own bread.

Sunk? It takes 4 minutes to dump all the ingredients in a bread machine and it's 10x better than anything you buy in the store.

There are reasons that a body stays in motion
At the moment only demons come to mind
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