@olympia tennenbaum I think the conversation is more about maintaining a relationship with a combative/competitive in-law than a defense of MSing.

I have an in-law who I am not a big fan of. He knows that I MS, but doesn't say much about that, since it doesn't make much money. In his eyes, the value of a man is mainly about much money they bring home to the family.

That said, this particular in-law was not happy with his career path. He went into IT for the paycheck, while I chose a career that I loved (which is why I ended up MSing!). When my sister first married him, he would continually point out our income disparity and tell me I had made a mistake. I used to dread family holidays because I knew what I was in for...and then a change happened. My career took off and I was suddenly making more than him.

On my own, I probably would have thrown it in his face and felt superior, but my wife, who is smarter than me about stuff like this, suggested I simply show him generosity. We started picking up the check for family dinners, flying my niece in for family events that she could not afford to come to on her own, etc.

I never mentioned our current income disparity to him, and he avoids me at all costs now. He'll pick the seat furthest away from me at Thanksgiving so that we don't have to talk, and I am fine with that.

So my suggestion; kill your in-law with kindness, but make it MS related. Give them a candle, a bottle of wine, a scarf, or whatever you can manage to acquire through a shop, and when they ask, just say, "I mystery shopped it!"

Also, If you get a travel assignment, always pick up mementos from the area for everyone in the family and let them know you got it on a shop. I took a hotel assignment in Key West a few years ago and my wife brought back key lime scented stuff for everyone for my family.

@SteveSoCal wrote:

@olympia tennenbaum I think the conversation is more about maintaining a relationship with a combative/competitive in-law than a defense of MSing.

I have an in-law who I am not a big fan of. He knows that I MS, but doesn't say much about that, since it doesn't make much money. In his eyes, the value of a man is mainly about much money they bring home to the family.

That said, this particular in-law was not happy with his career path. He went into IT for the paycheck, while I chose a career that I loved (which is why I ended up MSing!). When my sister first married him, he would continually point out our income disparity and tell me I had made a mistake. I used to dread family holidays because I knew what I was in for...and then a change happened. My career took off and I was suddenly making more than him.

On my own, I probably would have thrown it in his face and felt superior, but my wife, who is smarter than me about stuff like this, suggested I simply show him generosity. We started picking up the check for family dinners, flying my niece in for family events that she could not afford to come to on her own, etc.

I never mentioned our current income disparity to him, and he avoids me at all costs now. He'll pick the seat furthest away from me at Thanksgiving so that we don't have to talk, and I am fine with that.

So my suggestion; kill your in-law with kindness, but make it MS related. Give them a candle, a bottle of wine, a scarf, or whatever you can manage to acquire through a shop, and when they ask, just say, "I mystery shopped it!"

Also, If you get a travel assignment, always pick up mementos from the area for everyone in the family and let them know you got it on a shop. I took a hotel assignment in Key West a few years ago and my wife brought back key lime scented stuff for everyone for my family.

You are entirely right that my situation is more about a relationship with an individual. I actually wish I had left the details out of my post because I didn't necessarily want it to turn into relationship advice, lol. I guess I just wondered more about if others encounter it.

But, back to my own situation, luckily, in respect to MS, my antagonistic relative lives across the country so it is not something I need to deal with daily. This person is argumentative regularly but seems to take this issue personally since they work for a QSR.

I actually wish I had not shared MS with anyone in real life because I don't think I know anyone who cares or is as jazzed about it as I am. I had one friend try it out and then just complain to me about it. Others have asked and I've tried to help them get started but they never seem to jump in. It seems like MS should be more like fight club.

It seems like you, Steve, have figured out a great way of dealing with your own in-laws. Kudos to you for that! And, it's especially nice that you are able to kill them with kindness!

Apparently NOT! Only one person's opinions MATTER, and it's the one who USES THE MOST EXCLAMATION POINTS AND UPPERCASE IN THEIR POSTS!!! Whoever is the most OVERBEARING, DISMISSIVE, AND TONE-DEAF wins!!!

@olympia tennenbaum wrote:

Obviously others feel differently. We're all entitled to our opinions.

@BusyBeeBuzzBuzzBuzz wrote:

Apparently NOT! Only one person's opinions MATTER, and it's the one who USES THE MOST EXCLAMATION POINTS AND UPPERCASE IN THEIR POSTS!!! Whoever is the most OVERBEARING, DISMISSIVE, AND TONE-DEAF wins!!!

@olympia tennenbaum wrote:

Obviously others feel differently. We're all entitled to our opinions.

lol

I know there is plenty of great content regarding the details of particular shops shared on this forum. I really appreciate that aspect.

I also really love the water cooler aspect of the forum and the little personal stories and anecdotes that get shared. Regardless of what's being discussed, I'm either learning or laughing.

Some of us live our own lives and do not care what others think.
(!!!! For the beebuzzing) some need advice constantly, reassurance and hugs.

@claabe wrote:

Some of us live our own lives and do not care what others think.
(!!!! For the beebuzzing) some need advice constantly, reassurance and hugs.

Some of us don't care so much that we keep reasserting our points on a forum of strangers.

Ditto

@claabe wrote:

Why would you care what anyone thinks ???
This topic makes no sense !!

There isn't anything wrong with olympia's topic. If you want non-sensical, go find something from john.

@drdoggie00 wrote:

@claabe wrote:

Why would you care what anyone thinks ???
This topic makes no sense !!

There isn't anything wrong with olympia's topic. If you want non-sensical, go find something from john.

Couldn't help but giggle at this one!

I appreciate this forum for all of its variety. I really enjoy MSing but it's not the same as being able to walk down the hall and pop your head into your co-worker's office and share a funny quip or ask if your co-worker also found that latest memo to be odd. Or perhaps even share a gripe about daily life.

COVID disrupted my old life and I'm trying to embrace this new one and also enjoy some of the camaraderie here. I love when melg shares the latest info from the Kroger scheduler, SteveSoCal enlightens me on some Coyle mysteries, ShopperBob shares some business acumen, Morledzep's post reminds me I should also order some tee shirts, or HBbigdaddy makes me question why I'm eating a whole Panda plate when his wife and kid can share one, and on and on and on and on. (And if you didn't get a mention, if you're a regular, I probably have some favorite post of yours too!)

Not to sound creepy or sappy but I think this is a special place to share the work and life experiences of MS and to learn to appreciate other view points.

Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 07/03/2024 10:09AM by olympia tennenbaum.

@claabe wrote:

Why would you care what anyone thinks ???
This topic makes no sense !!

The more people you tell; the less of a "mystery" shopper you are.

@olympia tennenbaum wrote:

@drdoggie00 wrote:

There isn't anything wrong with olympia's topic. If you want non-sensical, go find something from john.

Couldn't help but giggle at this one!

I appreciate this forum for all of its variety. I really enjoy MSing but it's not the same as being able to walk down the hall and pop your head into your co-worker's office and share a funny quip or ask if your co-worker also found that latest memo to be odd. Or perhaps even share a gripe about daily life.

COVID disrupted my old life and I'm trying to embrace this new one and also enjoy some of the camaraderie here. I love when megl shares the latest info from the Kroger scheduler, SteveSoCal enlightens me on some Coyle mysteries, ShopperBob shares some business acumen, Morledzep's post reminds me I should also order some tee shirts, or HBbigdaddy makes me question why I'm eating a whole Panda plate when his wife and kid can share one, and on and on and on and on. (And if you didn't get a mention, if you're a regular, I probably have some favorite post of yours too!)

Not to sound creepy or sappy but I think this is a special place to share the work and life experiences of MS and to learn to appreciate other view points.

Awww this gave me a case of the warm fuzzies. -squishy group hug- I don't think it's creepy or sappy; these are our water cooler moments in an industry that's solitary by design, and I enjoy pulling up the forum to see what people are talking about and what shops they're doing. You learn a lot from what they say and how they say it, and those personal stories often bring me to a fit of laughter.

So, I say.....see you all at 'the cooler' tomorrow.

deleted

Heh, these are people who have no clue what a grind online selling and being a shopper actually is. I've done them both, and while caretaking, its a lot!

@ServiceAward wrote:

I don't care for Taylor Swift, but she's right: Haters gonna hate.

Many people do not understand the mystery shopping part of my life, and I kind of like it that way. I don't advertise what I do, so the only ones that know are (most of) my immediate family and a few friends.

For most of last year, I spent 70% of my "job" time mystery shopping and doing audits. The other 30% of my time I spent reselling online. Mystery shopping provided immediate income, which I needed, and I thought of selling online as more of a long-term strategy since I've done that on and off since 2004. I moved back home to care for my ailing mother. Part of why I went the IC route was so I could control my schedule since I do not know how her cognitive health will be from day to day. With a few exceptions, it is pretty easy to shift shops around if needed. I guess when I moved here my brother and a few other family members thought I would go get a factory job or a job at a retail store. When I didn't do that, I picked up on a shared attitude they had: I was lazy. They see themselves as hard blue collar 8am-5pm workers. When they learned I had where I slept to 11am, then started work, jealously set in. It blew up last October, but I stood my ground. Out of all the parties involved, I am the only one who spent a decade and a half working 18-hour days, sometimes more. I have worked over 50 consecutive days without a day off. None of them ever had to do that. The fact that I have a more flexible schedule or don't make as anywhere close to what I did before, doesn't matter. I'm happy and mentally I am so much better off. I told them, they can either respect me or I can leave and they can take care of my mom. They don't want that burden, so they have backed off.

Again, people just need to mind their da** business, including family.