I was looking this interesting topic up: Why are people mean to nice people? Here's what I found. Hopefully this can help some get along better and other's to contain their one-liner mean quips.
Quoted:
Some of us get so uncomfortable at the nice person’s desperate attempts at being validated that we become angry at them. We can’t tolerate our own, barely-acknowledged neediness and it’s too threatening to see these nice people openly exhibiting theirs.

Some of us get so angry at the nice people among us that we’ll punish them for reminding us of the places within us that are weak, needy and dependent on other people’s approval. We’ll be rude, hurtful, exploitative to teach them a lesson about trying too hard to please.

Some of us are opportunists who, at the moment, aren’t considering how our actions affect others. If someone is so foolish as to be a people-pleaser, we’ll gladly allow them to give us what we want. Our disdain for these nice people makes us callous, so we don’t think about the impact of our rudeness or exploitation on their feelings or their lives.

The other side of being nice is the fact that some of us will take advantage of the nice person, and some of us will be mean to them. Whether we’re cruel out of our discomfort or just ready to take advantage of their need to please, the nice person will always have to deal with people who mistreat them.

This article is beyond twisted. Nice people have a desparate need to be validated? Really?

I took it as mean people believe that nice people have a desperate need to be validated and that makes them desperate, almost pschtzo, to take that away.

A matter of degrees?

Some people consider it a weakness to participate in niceties such as validation. To be fair, they may have met the emotionally or psychologically needy. If so, they may have stopped giving anyone a chance. Therefore, everyone will be given rough treatment-- and they might,as well like it because things will never change!

Would the OP be a Philosophy major (as my daughter is) and work for a private Philosophy college run and owned by P.H.D's in the field (as my daughter does). I find the OP babbling with no direction. People come in all sizes, colors and personality traits including, nice, angry, mean, etc., with many wanting to help others.. .insecurity should not be replaced with "nice" as nice means nothing more than nice and the entire thread reeks of insanity. This is a deep field and before spouting your thoughts, maybe, a bit of knowledge behind you would be in order. Hoping your not speaking of your own experiences..



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 08/12/2018 07:14PM by Irene_L.A..

A fine example, thank you. An acute case, caused by a looming procession of people and flowers. Nothing can be done about that.

I like to think that I treat people, not only as I would like to be treated, but also similar to the way they have chosen to treat me. I think that just about sums it all up in one, long, run-on sentence!

I good example that happened recently. I encountered a person with a small table set up outside a local grocery store. He was soliciting donations for his youth basketball team. I engaged him in small talk asking about his team and season. At the end of the brief conversation, i elected not to donate and wished him the very best of success with his team. He ended the conversation with, "Have a blessed day." He could have been sincerely wishing me a blessed day in the religious sense. Or, he could have been using a somewhat secret, yet fairly widely known racial insult translating to "f@&# off." Not knowing his true intent and frankly not attempting to interpret his true underlying meaning, I immediately replied, "No, YOU have a blessed day." This way, regardless of his true intentions, I returned it in kind.

Hey, I don't understand what you mean, could you please explain about this racial insult? I have not a clue how "have a blessed day" could be construed as anything else but a wish for someone to have a blessed day.

@msimon-2000 wrote:

He ended the conversation with, "Have a blessed day." He could have been sincerely wishing me a blessed day in the religious sense. Or, he could have been using a somewhat secret, yet fairly widely known racial insult translating to "f@&# off." Not knowing his true intent and frankly not attempting to interpret his true underlying meaning, I immediately replied, "No, YOU have a blessed day." This way, regardless of his true intentions, I returned it in kind.

Hm. "Have a blessed day" is a code for F____ off? I never knew! And it must not be that widely known...or else I'm just old and behind the times....

Hi JAS, google it. It makes for interesting reading. My college aged child clued me in to the secret meaning that up til then, I had been oblivious about. Sometimes, I can infer the meaning based on context and annunciation, but often times I cannot.

For the record, I am not racial biased in any way.

The only thing I found was that some people who are atheist felt uncomfortable because they don't believe in God. Could you please tell me what you are talking about?

Apparently, the commonly used phrases "Have a blessed day." and "Bless your heart." are both phrases with multiple meanings based on setting, context, and annunciation. They both have become ways to insult someone in a subtle manner in addition to their traditional good-natured meanings.

As I said, I was completely oblivious until my college aged child informed me that I had just been told to ---- off by someone we encountered. I did some research using google and found more than one reference to this double-meaning. Urban Dictionary was one place that mentioned it.

Maybe it isn't that widely known after all.

My apologies to the OP as I had no intention of derailing your thread down the path of current urban lingo...lol!

I learn more from being with my child over Summer vacation then I learn the rest of the year about current culture, trends, and language. It is only then that I realize just how out-of-touch with the young people of today I have become. The horrors of getting old!

If somebody wishes me a "Blessed day," I just respond, "Likewise." They can take it however they want.

OMG!! I just said to my 17 year old, 15 year old, and husband..."Did you guys know that 'have a blessed day' is code for F Off??"

My 17 and 15 year old laughed at me because they knew it

My husb (who is a COP) said, "Oh, yeah. It is. I get wished to 'have a blessed day' several times a day"

Jill, I'm sorry to have been the one to ruin this phrase for you! Honestly, I liked it better before I knew as then I thought everyone was simply wishing me a day of blessedness. After all, ignorance is bliss...

Gads, talk about being out of touch, I thought "have a blessed day" was a religious saying that born again's use,
meaning let the lord be with you or something like that....being Jewish I never cared for the word, but always smiled and nodded....now it makes sense, so to all the would be trolls on the forum, "have a blessed day".

Navel gazing...

hmm, I guess I'll take Have a Blessed Day phase over Go F*** yourself anyday. Don't forget, karma comes back at you when you least expect it. Take for example, the other day on the freeway, some d*ck decided that he wanted to get around me since I was driving too slow for him. I'm in the slow lane and there's a vehicle ahead of me that's driving at 60 mph. There's a lane on the right side of me. The D*ck does not realize that right lane is a merging right lane into my lane. He honked his horn at me because he can't get around me. A large truck has merged into my lane from the left lane, gets behind me and cuts off the D*ck that honked his horn. At my workplace, the security camera caught a guy shoplifting some expensive vacuum cleaners and some computer accessories. We do not know at the time that a shopping lifting was in process but my manager saw that the idiot had fallen/tripped outside the building after the fact. Yeah, the idiot was limping pretty badly to his vehicle after that hasty exit.

Unless your daughter is the one who wrote this post, I guess your post could be considered babbling as well, not to mention insulting.

@Irene_L.A. wrote:

Would the OP be a Philosophy major (as my daughter is) and work for a private Philosophy college run and owned by P.H.D's in the field (as my daughter does). I find the OP babbling with no direction. People come in all sizes, colors and personality traits including, nice, angry, mean, etc., with many wanting to help others.. .insecurity should not be replaced with "nice" as nice means nothing more than nice and the entire thread reeks of insanity. This is a deep field and before spouting your thoughts, maybe, a bit of knowledge behind you would be in order. Hoping your not speaking of your own experiences..

I have read all five best sellers of my daughters boss who is a P.H.D in Philosophy and owns a college, she is very well known and respected in her field and speaks to groups throughout the world, including writing articles or the New York Times.
I have been involved thru my daughter with this field by reading and watching lecture links and having been to the school's functions over the past 20 years. Many on the forum have spoken and resent that nice people are taken advantage of....that's all. Your entitled to who you believe. I would have respected the OP to stand up for HER writings, not you Ms, Addit!! good luck!!
p.s. Jersey Girl Shopper seems to be quite new to the forum, while I've been here years.



Edited 4 time(s). Last edit at 08/14/2018 02:00AM by Irene_L.A..

I love that the variety of perspectives exists. Imagine a world in which we were forbidden to be courteous or punished for behaving courteously.

Speaking of horrors... the mystery shopping world would be turned on its head. In The New Mystery Shopping Order, we would mark down for any instances of courtesy because some people demand the absence and possible antitheses of niceness, kindness, courtesy, civility, and general good manners.

Removed.

Just a thought, perhaps the KKK and white supremist groups look at kindness/niceness as a weak trait and will bully those. for normal folks like us, nice is a great quality and taught in good homes as children having been taught manners, politeness and at times "turning the other cheek" to avoid trouble. "When they go low, we go high"....(thanks Michelle Obama). Mean spirited folks,don't worry or take it out on the forum, there's help for you.

Interesting that most German's did nothing, only a few participated, and yet such tragedy was allowed to occur. Same as other wars, even involving the US.

Surely it is not this Dr. Judith Wright correct?
[escapedwageslave.blogspot.com]

@Irene_L.A. wrote:

I have read all five best sellers of Dr. Judith Wright, my daughters boss who is a P.H.D in Philosophy and owns a college, she is very well known and respected in her field and speaks to groups throughout the world.
I have been involved thru my daughter with this field by reading and watching lecture links and having been to the school's functions over the past 20 years.
I at least have some knowledge of human behavior. Many on the forum have spoken and resent that nice people are taken advantage of....that's all. Your entitled to who you believe. I would have respected the OP to stand up for HER writings, not you Ms, Addit!! good luck!!
p.s. Jersey Girl Shopper seems to be quite new to the forum, while I've been here years, and most know I don't babble on subjects I know nothing about.

@catgrannyof5 wrote:

Take for example, the other day on the freeway, some d*ck decided that he wanted to get around me since I was driving too slow for him. I'm in the slow lane and there's a vehicle ahead of me that's driving at 60 mph. There's a lane on the right side of me. The D*ck does not realize that right lane is a merging right lane into my lane. He honked his horn at me because he can't get around me. A large truck has merged into my lane from the left lane, gets behind me and cuts off the D*ck that honked his horn.

Catgranny, your U is broken. It keeps printing an asterisk.

How can I triple like that? I triple like that, clever girl.

But I would still like to know how ducks can drive...

@Irene_L.A. wrote:

I have read all five best sellers of Dr. Judith Wright, my daughters boss who is a P.H.D in Philosophy and owns a college, she is very well known and respected in her field and speaks to groups throughout the world.
I have been involved thru my daughter with this field by reading and watching lecture links and having been to the school's functions over the past 20 years.
I at least have some knowledge of human behavior. Many on the forum have spoken and resent that nice people are taken advantage of....that's all. Your entitled to who you believe. I would have respected the OP to stand up for HER writings, not you Ms, Addit!! good luck!
They just had a meeting with the New York Times and published an article.

Live consciously....

Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 08/14/2018 01:49AM by Irene_L.A..