Guilty Pleasures slash Narcissistic Behavior

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I got married at 24. Divorced by 27; no kids (he's gay; and was "in the closet" when we married...)

Got married again at 30. Had first kid at 31 and then kids at 32, 35, and 41. We also fostered and have taken in a kid who is a daughter to us

Never, ever thought I'd marry again OR have kids....you just never know.
I'm Every Woman, it's all in me. You don't need a man to be happy although I do feel you need companionship whether it be from a furry best friend or a human. My best advice to you is to be self supporting, self assured and to like yourself the most. You are your favorite. Relationships can go wherever and whenever. You are the best! Don't ever, ever forget that!
@Madetoshop wrote:

I'm Every Woman, it's all in me. You don't need a man to be happy although I do feel you need companionship whether it be from a furry best friend or a human. My best advice to you is to be self supporting, self assured and to like is

Love this, to love yourself is the battle, but it works.......

Live consciously....
A couple days ago I got a drunken rambling voicemail from my ex, telling me that he misses me, he’s sorry, but he can’t explain why he stopped responding to me.

Has anyone ever heard the likes of this? It seems so lazy. If I had stopped responding to a person I’d know why. It would be because I was stressed or bored or realized we’re not compatible.

A friend of mine suggests I just block him, since hearing the voicemail totally threw me out of balance. I was doing OK before I heard the voicemail!

And I appreciate how many of your comments have been about having babies late in life. That’s really nice! My issue is that I don’t want any babies, I’ve always known that, and that I’m worried my mother will be made unhappy by that. When I had a boyfriend she could have hope.
He knows perfectly well why he quit responding to you, and now that you don't try to contact him anymore, he wants you to be back on the hook. And if you start seeing him again, he'll do it all over again. Power tripping. If you were to tell him you are seeing someone else now, he will try even harder. I know that type, I had boyfriends like that before. Or, it could be that he was interested in someone else so he quit responding to you so he could pursue a relationship with that person and when things didn't work out there, he called you to say he is sorry and misses you. What an arsehole.

And nothing wrong with not wanting kids. I was glad that my hubby's kids were all potty trained, could talk and walk, and feed themselves when we met. It was that and being bloated and pregnant, and being in pain while giving birth that were all deciding factors for me.
Yeah. You’re totally right. This whole time, the only explanation that made sense was that he’d met someone else. And that’s fine! Well, not fine. But at least I understand. I just wish he’d told me. I can understand THAT more than the “I dunno.”
He's a coward. Just be glad you found out with minimum time invested. What if you had been seeing him for a couple of years and THEN he met someone he was interested in and pulled that crap on you? That would have stung like hell.
I’ve known him since I was 17, when we were in college, and I’m currently 34. Hurts. Why. Why did he hit me up? Should have been only if he was serious.

Other people are the worst.
I watched a new cable problem stating "You've been Ghosted", which means they leave with no reason....move on and don't look back, enough time has gone buy. Communication is a must in a healthy relationship.
Your Mother will live as I and many other's have.

Live consciously....
Seventen years have passed. For you, that is twice your age when this began. My life has changed, and people have come and gone on their ways to wherever I did not go. So I am curious: in what other ways has your life changed in the last seventeen years?

@VVT wrote:

I’ve known him since I was 17, when we were in college, and I’m currently 34. Hurts. Why. Why did he hit me up? Should have been only if he was serious.

Other people are the worst.

Gifts of time and love are surely the basic ingredients of a truly merry Christmas. - Peg Bracken
Whoa. Well, I have a career now I guess. I’m in emergency management in the Coast Guard. In the old days, I was floating, doing political surveys over the phone, waiting tables. Getting by. Living at home for a few months. Realizing that was NOT sustainable, so I joined the Coast Guard 11 years ago.

It’s a lonely life, being single in the military.
I was really happy when an old connection wanted to be with me. It’s just been super tough on me, but I’m realizing a long distance relationship wasn’t sustainable. I didn’t know it’d be hard until I tried it out. And I didn’t know how crappy he could be.
"God is great, beer is good, and people are crazy..." Bill Currington

shopping north west PA and south west ny
most marriage/divorce studies end after 5 years or so. they have to publish and fund them. also if you are just looking at them straight up there are more marriages then divorce because a remarriage counts as a marriage in most cities records. the statistics on this are pretty useless. i prefer 25% of marriages last a lifetime. you have 4 different outcomes. one is forever. one is one party ends it. the other is the other party ends it. the last option is both parties end it.

shopping north west PA and south west ny


Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 11/04/2019 05:47PM by cooldude581.
@cooldude581 wrote:

most marriage/divorce studies end after 5 years or so. they have to publish and fund them. also if you are just looking at them straight up there are more marriages then divorce because a remarriage counts as a marriage in most cities records. the statistics on this are pretty useless. i prefer 25% of marriages last a lifetime. you have 4 different outcomes. one is forever. one is one party ends it. the other is the other party ends it. the last option is both parties end it.
Can you give me your source? It seems to contradict the BLS, which draws its figures largely from the Census.

Seriously, nobody cares that you're offended.

(Yes, I stole Hoju's tagline.)
CA has a much larger divorce rate than above survey states...we count 2nd marriage's as well, they have a huge divorce rate, so double what survey says...we also have many independent woman here, and I'm one of them.
Dealing with others kids is one reason for 2nd marriage divorce. I know two people who have been married 4 times, oy vey, ...except for Jas, who made it work...KUDO's.

Live consciously....
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