Only a Shopper Would...

As I was stategically "losing" my keys in my car so I could request lock-out service, I realized we do some weird things that a regular person would never do. Actively searching for some mud to drive through to have a plausible reason for needing a carwash comes to mind. I would add walking into a bank and waiting 20 minutes to see a banker to ask about rates I could have found in two minutes online...

What strange things have you done?

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In a downpour at a parking lot. I needed to claim that my ticket was damaged and the equipment at the exit gate would not"read" it. I would then summon an attendant via the intercom at the gate. Solution? Open car window; hold ticket firmly and stick it out into the rain. Presto: limp ticket will not fit into slot at ticket reader at exit gate.

Based in MD, near DC
Shopping from the Carolinas to New York
Have video cam; will travel

Poor customer service? Don't get mad; get video.
Ask for the name of every single employee encountered at a grocery store, restaurant, etc.

Hard work builds character and homework is good for your soul.
For me, it's taking pictures at a gas station.

Sticking to a required food order when a current special is a better value.

"There's so much trouble in this world; surrounded by miracles" - Citizen Cope
Asking employees stupid questions that make it pretty obvious we're either a really clueless customer or the mystery shopper.
Like asking the associate in the dairy department at Whole Foods what cheese I should use to make a grilled cheese sandwich?

@azncollege wrote:

Asking employees stupid questions that make it pretty obvious we're either a really clueless customer or the mystery shopper.
Less obviously, gruyere with cheddar and/or sweet onion..

It feels odd to take pix within small stores in order to document as many infractions as possible before completing a shop (or I suppose, being questioned r ousted by an employee).

@azncollege wrote:

@JASFLALMT Obviously blue cheese and feta

This will be our reply to violence: to make music more intensely, more beautifully, more devotedly than ever before. - Leonard Bernstein
Leave an empty bar after a couple drinks and apps where the happy hour is offered at better pricing and larger menu selection, only to request to move to an empty dining room with no happy hour pricing offered.

Shopping the Greater Denver Area, Colorado Springs and in-between in Colorado. 30 year old male and willing to travel! Badged for Denver International Airport.
I am still developing my method for damaging a barcode ticket. Many garages have an external scanner and a wet ticket works just fine.

It seems like the smoother concrete will rub it right off instead of mangling the entire thing. It looks less pathetic that way. I should find out which grade of sandpaper works the same.

The difficult thing is that sometimes I start to damage a ticket when I am not on a shop. I don't need that hassle unless I am getting paid.

Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 01/21/2020 07:34PM by 1cent.
First of all, I work in a privately owned restaurant that is not shopped. As a manager, I know this because I work closely with the owner and would see the reports.
In 99% of the shops, I don't feel weird. People really are clueless. I've seen weird photos taken, recordings of entire dinners, random phone callers ask my name after just asking if we are open for lunch, etc. There very few things I think really out us, unless an employee is really in the know. The one I always thought outed us was Blaze pizza for a picture of the pizza box. The other one is wake up calls in hotels, and or excessive interactions on a one night stay. But honestly, people are needy and stupid, so I don't often feel weird.
1cent,
I just realized that I have a set of emery boards, several of which are abrasive enough to scar a parking ticket!! Brilliant idea you had !

BTW, with a wet ticket, I tell the attendant that I would not try to scan it because I was afraid the dampness would make the scanner malfunction. A "befuddled little ole lady act," will get a shopper a long way !

Based in MD, near DC
Shopping from the Carolinas to New York
Have video cam; will travel

Poor customer service? Don't get mad; get video.
@1cent wrote:

I am still developing my method for damaging a barcode ticket. Many garages have an external scanner and a wet ticket works just fine.

It seems like the smoother concrete will rub it right off instead of mangling the entire thing. It looks less pathetic that way. I should find out which grade of sandpaper works the same.

The difficult thing is that sometimes I start to damage a ticket when I am not on a shop. I don't need that hassle unless I am getting paid.

A sharpee will work. Carefully add a line or two parallel to those already present ideally between existing lines. Or just completely fill in a few spaces between lines that are already present.

Each line is a digit. You have to obliterate an entire line from top to bottom, or ideally more than one. If you do just one line the checksum might recover the missing digit. And a line drawn side to side through all of the lines leaves it still readable.
I was called out on the marker the first time I tried. I thought about being less precise so I could claim that a kid got to it. Oh but they didn’t cover the entry date and time. That’s lucky!

But if you scrape it just right, it almost looks like a printer error left off the barcode.

Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 01/21/2020 11:05PM by 1cent.
Burgers $5 or 2 for $6. Turn down 2 for $6, insist on buying 1. Yes, I'm sure. No, really, 1 is fine. Yes, I know it's only a dollar more. One, please.
Most obviously, cheddar and pepper jack. Mayo on the outside of the bread.

@Shop-et-al wrote:

Less obviously, gruyere with cheddar and/or sweet onion..

It feels odd to take pix within small stores in order to document as many infractions as possible before completing a shop (or I suppose, being questioned r ousted by an employee).

@azncollege wrote:

@JASFLALMT Obviously blue cheese and feta

"There's so much trouble in this world; surrounded by miracles" - Citizen Cope
McDonalds drive thru for breakfast back when they were shopped. I ordered one egg mcmuffin with cheese, hash brown, and orange juice (or whatever was required at the time). Order taker informs me that they have a special of B1G1Free on the egg mcmuffin with cheese so they will add it for me. I said, no that's okay, I just want one egg mcmuffin. Order taker cannot wrap their head around why a customer would not take the free sandwich and give it to someone else or save for later. I insist on just one over and over and the order taker keeps insisting that I take it and give it away. Meanwhile, the timing has become so skewed due to the back-and-forth.

Normal customer -- Sure, I'll take the B1G1 offer and thanks for letting me know!

Mystery Shopper -- No, do not give me a free sandwich, if you do, I don't get paid...

"We're just two lost souls swimming in a fish bowl -- year after year..."
Extremely obscurely, hearts of artichoke or palm, gooey cheese, and lightly toasted baguette with garlic butter


@HonnyBrown wrote:

Most obviously, cheddar and pepper jack. Mayo on the outside of the bread.

@Shop-et-al wrote:

Less obviously, gruyere with cheddar and/or sweet onion..

It feels odd to take pix within small stores in order to document as many infractions as possible before completing a shop (or I suppose, being questioned r ousted by an employee).

@azncollege wrote:

@JASFLALMT Obviously blue cheese and feta

This will be our reply to violence: to make music more intensely, more beautifully, more devotedly than ever before. - Leonard Bernstein
Try bacon grease instead of butter on the bread. Results in a crispier grilled cheese with hints of bacon flavor. Also, it takes slightly longer to get the perfect grill on the bread which allows the cheese to melt thoroughly. Try it and I'll bet you love it!

"We're just two lost souls swimming in a fish bowl -- year after year..."
Oh yeah. Ask for names and receipts for all cash purchases in a strip club.

Shopping the Greater Denver Area, Colorado Springs and in-between in Colorado. 30 year old male and willing to travel! Badged for Denver International Airport.
I don't think it's so unusual to refuse a freebie or not get a second item at a discount. Some people just want what they ordered. It's bad form for the employee to insist and make you feel bad. If that affects the timing, it's on them.
Walk into a bank for the first time ever and request a meeting to discuss investing several hundred thousands of dollars.


If I was told about BOGO for food that doesn't reheat well such as an egg sandwich I would be content to pay for one and not waste the 2nd one. I worked high end retail for years and truly believe " people are people". (Except the woman who wanted a custom made white cotton table cloth in a standard size.)
@azncollege wrote:

Asking employees stupid questions that make it pretty obvious we're either a really clueless customer or the mystery shopper.

Guidelines: Ask, "Will it stand up to the snow?"
Location: Desert
When: Mid-Summer During a long drought with water rationing
@panama18 wrote:

Burgers $5 or 2 for $6. Turn down 2 for $6, insist on buying 1. Yes, I'm sure. No, really, 1 is fine. Yes, I know it's only a dollar more. One, please.

"Oh, that's so tempting. Ummm... Well,,, No. One is bad enough. Well, ook... No, no. Thank you, I am sure no."

@Rho* wrote:

Walk into a bank for the first time ever and request a meeting to discuss investing several hundred thousands of dollars.

A few hundred K is not unusual in certain areas. "My. financial advisor dropped dead on me. The replacement is a complete jerk/I heard he's being investigated/the SOB hit on my partner/spouse. I've got 400K parked, I need to move it. What do you have?"

Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 01/22/2020 05:33AM by Rousseau.
Asking about overdraft protection at a bank where you don't even have any accounts.

Taking pictures of food in your trunk from various angles in a snowy, icy parking lot in 30 degree weather.
"I don't want the extra calories" seems to satisfy them.

@panama18 wrote:

Burgers $5 or 2 for $6. Turn down 2 for $6, insist on buying 1. Yes, I'm sure. No, really, 1 is fine. Yes, I know it's only a dollar more. One, please.

"There's so much trouble in this world; surrounded by miracles" - Citizen Cope
The only problem I have with those is that one of them ruled me ineligible for other shops at that bank. And those other shops routinely get very nicely bonused. I'm still irritated that the MSC didn't tell me it's one of those and done with that bank.

@Rho* wrote:

Walk into a bank for the first time ever and request a meeting to discuss investing several hundred thousands of dollars.

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