I have done several upscale Mexican restaurants where I also had to get everyone's name. For the busser, when I saw one passing, I dropped my fork and signaled the guy over. I asked for a new fork and his name, joking with him that if he doesn't come back, I'll know who to ask for. For the hostess, I either ask the server saying the hostess looked familiar and asked for her name (only once that failed me, when the server said the hostess was new and he didn't know her name), or as I was leaving, stop to ask about a future reservation for a large party and then get her name. You just have to be imaginative.
Not my circus - Not my monkeys @(*.*)@
~Polish Proverb~