I've been mystery shopping for over a year now and feel embarrassed to tell anyone I mystery shop, mostly because I'm conscious of them knowing that I'm willing to perform certain scenarios and spend time writing reports to get free things. I started shopping right out of college before I was employed full time, to help make some extra cash.

In particular I'm shy to tell my SO about it. We're both in our 20's. Only once did I tell him about about a dinner shop, and we went on that. He didn't say or ask anything about it.

Now that I've shopped a while, I'd like to do some higher end shops, like overnight stays. Those require a lot more time, so it would be easier to let my SO in on it being a mystery shop. The alternative would be going on hotel shops and just not letting him know and doing the report secretly, since I'm on the computer often anyway.

I'd rather be honest about mystery shopping. Does anyone else know what I mean? I'd like to not feel embarrassed anymore.

I don't find it to be embarrassing at all! What's there to be embarrassed about?

I'm not embarrassed but I do try to keep it to myself just so it doesn't limit my opportunities. For example, a man who I have many mutual acquaintances with but haven't really seen at all in 2 years (our kids used to date) is in upper management opening a restaurant that will be shopped by one of my MSCs. If I were to tell anyone with mutual connections that I am a shopper, then I'd risk compromising my ability to work at that location even though I'm highly unlikely to ever encounter him there.

Keeping secrets from your significant other is another matter entirely, though. I'd need to do some soul searching if I felt like I couldn't share a portion of my life with my partner.

When I'm asked I say I perform service audits. It's a easier way to get into the conversation without negative conotations. Or problems with potential clients.

I love shops I can take my dh on!A free date for us.Aside from him and a few others I don't really mention it much..

I've been shopping for a very long time now, I see it as an actor playing a part. I don't announce it to everyone because the reaction I get is either the other person thinks I'm stupid because "it's all a scam" OR they want to get into it too. One person told me she "only needs a couple hundred extra per week" and I ended up laughing so hard I almost fell over.

I don't understand embarrassment. I enact scenarios or perform audits and I write reports. In return I am paid with money and reimbursed items as agreed. There are no freebies.

I am not embarrassed at all because I am actually VERY proud of what I do. I'd probably be embarrassed if I am doing very badly as a shopper. Besides I could not be embarrassed when I don't tell anyone that I am a mystery shopper unless it is a 'must know' situation. Embarrassment belongs to those who are ashamed of what they do because they are in the wrong line of work.

My husband doesn't know that I mystery shop. If he did, I would be shopping Five Guys daily and working for food.

@Alter_Ego wrote:

Keeping secrets from your significant other is another matter entirely, though. I'd need to do some soul searching if I felt like I couldn't share a portion of my life with my partner.

My family knows I shop. I have snaggled almost all of them into at least one shop. One son thinks it is great and shops with frequency, the other thinks it is dumb and can't be bothered. One sister shops from time to time, the other feels she doesn't have adequate computer skills to shop. Significant other is signed up with a couple of companies because they needed someone when I was out of rotation or already too heavily booked to help.

So . . . one son will be getting a whole lot of boxes of product with damaged seals for his company's Holiday Food Drive. One son gets 'care packages' from me when I have USPS shops. My sisters will be getting some boxes of product with damaged seals. My SO is looking at shop swag whenever he opens the refrigerator, freezer or pantry. SO also gets the advantage of dinner shops.

At first when I mentioned shopping to SO he got a blabbermouth and almost did me some harm. He has come to understand that discretion is required. Now when I have shops to do he is quite supportive.

Thanks for your responses, everyone!

I'm open about everything with my SO except how often I shop, though I do love mystery shopping! Unfortunately everyone I have known over the years thought poorly of mystery shopping so I have been afraid of being judged. But I agree that if SO is included on free trips and meals, there's nothing to complain about!

I think it's pretty awesome that I can go to my favorite grocery store and get a whole haul for the price of one shop fee and reimbursement I am looking forward to some hotel shops and will definitely let him know. He likes writing reviews on Yelp all the time (it's how we met) so I think he will be supportive.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 11/03/2015 05:14AM by gojiberry.

Be aware that if he accompanies you on a shop he should not review it on Yelp. If that makes a difference to him then he probably should not be on a dinner shop.

What I found very seductive to my SO was that a dinner shop meant date night where he didn't need to pick up the tab. He can come home and drink coffee and watch TV while I write up my report. Then he can take us to some place he would like to try, but which is not shopped, on his dime.

@gojiberry, Mystery Shopping, what is that, I do Quality Audits to assist companies in improving their customer satisfaction rates. Sounds much better don't you think?

I'm not embarrassed by my MSing at all. And the few friends and family I have told about it have been supportive. Yes, they have questions. Usually it's "Can you really make money doing that?" LOL

My SO thinks the term "mystery shopping" has a negative connotation to it, so he tells people that I do market research and evaluate customer service at businesses or audit their merchandise then report back to the market research firm. And he will be the first to admit that he didn't think this was a viable income stream, but has since changed his mind.

@Sandman Hahaha, yes I do like that term "Quality Audits."

@KimRod Good to know he changed his view! If people knew more about mystery shopping I think more people would be interested too. Though it definitely isn't for lazy people haha.

I suspect that a lot of folks who try real mystery shopping come to the conclusion that it is a scam because they can't/don't/won't follow specific directions and get their shops rejected. And if they do get a shop accepted, it MUST be a scam because it takes so long to get paid. I don't see that as changing much because payment schedules are not likely to be altered and judging from PMs I get that "My shop was rejected and I did everything PERFECTLY except . . ." somehow there is the expectation that less than 100% should still get paid and reimbursed in full.

I don't tell many people. More know than I like because my husband blabbed. It came to the point that I told him if he said something to one more person, I would be ready to divorce him. I rarely include him on shops unless he goes along to do the driving. I make him stay in the car. Unfortunately, he is clueless/careless when it comes to discretion.

Actually, all those limited people who know I mshop think it is awesome. They are fascinated by it. A while back my son told me that they ate at a sports bar restaurant I used to shop and they got friendly with the owner. He bragged, "My mom mshopped you." I told him never to do that again because I signed a contract. He never did again and neither have I shopped that restaurant again.

Not at all! A guy I work with signed up for it because he thought it sounded cool and loves the idea of getting free meals. My fiance and I are also saving for a house so date night is now shops that have high reimbursements at good restaurants. She loves it!

Excellent plan, sfgiants13! One of the beauty parts of shopping is that you and your fiancé/wife can continue having 'date night' supported by shops for the rest of your lives together. Now if only there could be high reimbursement evaluations of babysitters . . .

Why would you be embarrassed about shopping? My husband loves the shops because they supplement our lifestyle significantly. I'm spending three nights at a resort on a Caribbean island this weekend (travel included) and I think that is something to be pretty proud of, definitely not ashamed.

Not at all! I told go around telling everyone, as discretion is important, and you don't want to accidentally "out" yourself to someone that would later disqualify you for a shop, but I have several friends that accompany me to dinner or lunch shops, and they love it! Most of the people who know what I do find it interesting.

@Christined It probably has to do with my environment. I grew up with parents who never did much to save money. I'm still surrounded by these types who never use coupons or shop around much. For instance, I gave my SO a coupon book full of BOGO offers at good restaurants in our town and he never once used it. I feel like some cheapo in comparison sometimes.

The only secret shopper I knew other than myself was an unemployed woman who hardly showered. Most of us probably aren't like that, but it has all just made be concerned with how SO may view me. It's as though I'm "desperate" enough to save some dollars here and there by writing reports too.

Crazy long reports took some getting used to and I rarely do them, but I do enjoy mystery shopping.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 11/12/2015 12:13AM by gojiberry.

@gojiberry, I for one started doing MS'ing and continue to do so not for the money, but to try and really make a difference. The money helps pay for time so I feel like I am getting something for it, but the real pay comes when I return to a location I had shopped, and actually notice changes on something I had reported as a possible issue.

When this happens, I think to myself "I played a part in this positive change" and that makes me feel good. Because no one but my SO knows about me being a part of it, there is no slap on the back for a good job, but my SO knows and may or may not make a comment about it.

To me, a company that cares enough to pay to have their business shopped and actually makes changes based on reporting is a company that DOES care about customer satisfaction. This is a company I want to give my business to because I know they appreciate me as a consumer. YES, I know they care about the bottom line as well, and have discovered that Happy Customers = More Money & Unhappy Customers = Less Money, so it is a win/win to be the best you can be with your customers.

I once spoke to an owner of a company that had a great product line and decent prices, but a lousy attitude towards customers. I asked him one day if I could speak to him and he agreed, knowing me from being a good customer. I started out with asking him how business really was, and obviously he did not want to answer so I said let me take a guess, business has been slowly decreasing, no matter what you do. And to boot you are losing your customer base. While I was saying this I could see by the look on his face I was 100% dead on. I even said to him "You don't need to answer that as I can see on your face I am right".

His response was, OK, so what are you selling? I laughed and said nothing. I told him I liked what he sold and how he sold it, great selections, always well stocked and decent prices, but I told him he was missing 1 major thing his business needed, and I again stated I am not selling anything and our conversation will not cost you a penny. He took the time to listen to me and I explained that a happy customer may tell 1 person about you, but an unhappy customer could tell 10. This is not something new, it is a known fact. I told him what I thought could be done to improve their customer satisfaction, which started with a better attitude. I pointed out some of what I had seen as well as heard from others and explained why I thought that was driving customers away.

At the end of our conversation he asked my why I took the time to tell him without wanting anything in return, and I responded "That's where you are wrong, I do want something in return. I want to be able to continue shopping in your store and enjoy the experience, that to me is payment enough for a little advice"

I purposely stayed away from his establishment for a few months not knowing what to expect, but when I did go back into the store I was amazed. It was like walking into a different store. The staff was smiling and speaking nicely to everyone, being helpful and honestly looked like they wanted to be there. The owner saw me after I was in the store for a few minutes and asked me if he could talk to me in his office. He thanked me and said he hopped I noticed a difference and was so thankful for my advice.

The long and short of this short story is, I helped someone to give better customer service, and all the customers benefited from it as well as the company. This time I knew it was all me, and to this day I am still proud of that accomplishment. So doing MS is kind of the same thing for me, just not as direct, but sometimes just as rewarding.

It is all in they way you feel about doing it and how you explain to those you choose to share with. I will never be embarrassed over doing this and hey, I am a guy and as I am sure you know, men are the minority in all this and I am still proud to be a part of it.

I don't think being frugal is anything to be embarrassed about. There are a lot of people in this world who are making a show of doing all this lifestyle stuff like restaurants, travel etc but it's all going on credit cards with no means to pay it off.

There was an interesting article a month or two back where they had done a survey and were astonished to find that I think it was 21% of Americans felt that winning the lottery was a viable retirement plan. There are some incredibly strange notions about money--where it comes from, where it goes--out there.

@Flash, WOW that is amazing. I figure I have a better chance at being struck by lightning 3 days in a row.

Statistics:
Odds of being hit by lightning approx 1 in 700,000
Odds of hitting the lottery approx 1 in 175,000,000+

I would rather say that it was pretty depressing. If shoppers can enjoy some lifestyle benefits by shopping and sock away the money they would have otherwise have spent towards their retirement I would be offering a standing ovation. Even retired I keep a budget and what shops can cover (with their reimbursements and fees) is that much less of my saved retirement funds I need to spend.

@gojiberry, don't feel bad. My kids will tell you in a heartbeat that my family motto is, "Cheap is good, free is better." :-D There is a difference between being frugal and "cheap". Being Frugal is using BOGO coupons on a meal out. Being Cheap is tipping as if only one person ate.