I mentioned this before, but today I was really stumped. As I watched the friendly cashier with no name tag, shapeless t-shirt, (and shapeless body, I was checking the chest area, subtly I hope), very short masculine haircut, dark hairy arms, slightly feminine features, feminine voice, but the very faintest of beard stubble, I went back and forth. Finally, based on the arms mainly (and also beard potential), I went for male. Then I get the receipt and the name on it is Kendra.

The question was did the receipt name match the name tag? Well since there was no name tag, I could only state what I saw and that I couldn't be sure of the gender of the cashier. Had no idea if this really was Kendra or if it was Kevin ringing in on her name. Happening more and more. Tradtional sex lines are being blurred, at least in the liberal and trendy Pacific Northwest. I met a woman recently whose teenaged daughter wants to be something or other non sexual, (sorry I forgot the exact gender neutral term, maybe someone knows), so she wishes to be referred to as "ze" instead of "she", as in "Ze will have the salad with ranch dressing".

My own 27 year old daughter has a very masculine appearance, wearing men's clothes and very short hair, but she has a petite frame and feminine features that really couldn't be mistaken for a guy, although once seeing her from behind, I thought she was a boy.

And along that line, my 95 year old dad, a nursing home resident who hadn't seen her since the super short hair cut, said to her recently, "I don't believe I've met you, young fella............"

Then he called my sister and said, "Mary dresses like a boy. Did you know that?" (smile)

Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 08/17/2014 09:13AM by 57carol.

Grandpa cracks me up.

Many of these androgenous folks have chromosomal or hormonal disorders that render them not-quite-male or not-quite female. It's even more confusing for them than it is for us.

It's not foolproof but very often you will find that a male has broader shoulders than hips and a female is the reverse. When I am having trouble telling I try to check shoulders as well as chest and chin. You are not the only one who has been stumped on that question. When the report has no place for comments it just makes it that much harder.
Apparently some countries are now issuing genderless passports when requested.

I had a shop at a home improvement store one day. The person who helped me was just unidentifiable as either or. I went with the female as the name on its chest was Manda. I don't know if I was correct or not but I never heard any difference from the company. It was strange and the only time I have had this problem.

Maybe the name was a play on, man-duh.

I thought I was the only person who'd run across this (though not in relation to MS)! There's a cashier at my local grocery store who reminds me of "Pat," from SNL. For the life of me, I couldn't figure out whether this person was a he or a she for the longest time. I guessed female, but it wasn't until she started wearing a name tag that I knew for sure.

I hope this doesn't happen to me on a mystery shop. I wouldn't know quite what to do.

I had one the other evening at H&M. The name on the name tag was Taylor, short (shaved in the back) and long in the front punk type hairstyle in dyed black, men's clothing, no chest. I went with female as she was working in the ladies' department so I thought if she isn't a female, then she wanted to identify as such.

There's a gas station here that I shop. The attendant's gender was unrecognizable and the nametag, Sam, didn't help. For months, I have been alternating gender answers. Male one month, female the next. I honestly can't tell.

Shopped it again two weeks ago, the nametag had been changed to Samantha. At least now I know how to answer.

Whenever I get a transvestite, I always select the option that they now identify with. For a male-to-female, I select female. Not sure if that is correct or not, but these situations aren't covered in the guidelines. I don't get paid enough to guess or ask what's going on in their pants.

Maybe it's time they stopped asking us to identify gender or race or at least give us an option of "not apparent."

Perfect! I love it! "Not Apparent." YES, I want that tick box on every question.

Like the box we need for hair color: other..............covers blue, pink, orange, purple, etc.

It's got to be embarrassing for them when we get it wrong. I hope the company doesn't tell them that we have to identify gender.

Look for an Adam's apple for the male, it should pop right out there!!!

^That's not really a surefire thing with large people, and those are the ones I tend to get most stumped about.

BBird0701 Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
>
> Shopped it again two weeks ago, the nametag had
> been changed to Samantha. At least now I know how
> to answer.


She probably read your report calling her a male and decided she needed to change it. See? We do make a difference.

I am often stumped on age as well as find it hard to judge height in taller folks. Being only 5 ft tall I tend to loose perspective in anyone over 5'10"...they're just "big" to me.

I seem to shop a lot of people who are "25." I probably put that down more than anything else. That and 55, for anyone who looks over 60. And most women are 5'6" and most men if short are 5'8" and tall are 6'.

I shopped a guy once who had to be 6'9" but it wasn't a shop where I had to give a description since we had to get a business card.

Ever get the ones where you know they are probably a lot younger than you're guessing, but must have lived a rough life and look a lot older?

I had one last week whose name was Britney, so by her name and the way she spoke, I guessed her age to be around 25-30, but by appearances, she looked a pretty rough 35-45.

You may mean transexual or transgender instead.

Brings back memories of "It's Pat"on Saturday Night Live...

Yup, just call them Pat, or perhaps if it was a music store, Lola.

I liked like an unsure option for gender too. Lucky for me gender was clear on all of those employees. One gas shop in our area was too cheap to buy employees uniform shirts. So for three years everyone, male or female was Sam. Two additional shirts were hanging in plain sight with Sam sewn on the shirt. The employees would wear a white t-shirt and the employee shirt as a jacket over there own personal shirt. They would only button shirt after the reveal but before the photo. Shop had a 90 day rotation and I only saw the same employee twice. My husband worked in the area and as a customer (without me) asked about the shirts. He was told they were washed by store and kept in the store. I changed my route a couple of years ago but last time we stopped in while at beach there was a Sam on duty. At least the shirts looked cleaned and pressed but not something I want to think about.

The MSPs will have to get with the times and give us more options. Even a simple "could not identify" box to check along with male or female would suffice.

Psst--transvestite is an antiquated term for "cross-dresser." It's really only still in use in productions of the Rocky Horror Show. I think the word you're looking for is "transgender."



A good option I find for people of indeterminate gender is to do a double take, and then say "Chris? Your mom didn't tell me you got a new job!" When the employee says they're not Chris, ask their name and then say "I'm so sorry, you look just like my neighbor's son/daughter" (<-- match the clerk's gender). In the unfortunate event that you get another gender neutral name, just go with "look like someone I know." It's not unusual--when I was at Circle K I got called by half a dozen different names by a lot of people who swore I looked JUST LIKE so-and-so. I could only pick any one of those folks out of a lineup, and she was one of my regulars.

My apologies. I am not very PC.

Seriously.

Show of hands.

Who thought that one of the aspects of Mystery Shopping would be a game of "Guess my gender?"

I had this exact experience recently at a Fast Food Shop . I am so glad I am not alone!

Seriously, I am still not sure if that cashier was male or female. And No "NameTag," of course! I had an option to make comments, so I did, said I was not sure but believed her to be female. I was wondering what the editor must have thought of me. She shops for us, and can not tell the difference between a man and a woman? We are in trouble!

Lady Marius.
Canadian Mystery Shopper.

My guess is that the MSC's do not want to put a "Could not identify" option as some people would mis-use it to be "Cannot remember".

I had the same thing happen recently. I went with male. I put a question mark after the name.The name could have been either a boy or girl. I then explained why the question mark was after the name and whyI was unsure of the gender in the overall comment box.

I was in a Best Buy the other day, and the 6'2", burly, buff gentleman who assisted me was sporting a name tag that read "Kristen." Clever sleuth that I am, I deduced that he had forgotten his name tag at home and grabbed whatever was available at the store. But since it was a shop and I had to be sure, I asked him, "Kristen - is that really your name?" smirk, wink--then he responded confidently, "Yes." Oops.