Aren't we fortunate to have so many options!

RETIRE WHERE?

Here are some of your choices:


You can retire to Phoenix, Arizona where...

1. You are willing to park 3 blocks away because you found shade.
2. You've experienced condensation on your hiney from the hot water in
the toilet bowl.
3. You can drive for 4 hours in one direction and never leave town.
4. You have over 100 recipes for Mexican food.
5. You know that "dry heat" is comparable to what hits you in the face
when you open your oven door.
6. The 4 seasons are: tolerable, hot, really hot, and ARE YOU KIDDING
ME??!!

OR

You can retire to California where...

1. You make over $250,000 and you still can't afford to buy a house.
2. The fastest part of your commute is going down your driveway.
3. You know how to eat an artichoke.
4. You drive your rented Mercedes to your neighborhood block party.
5. When someone asks you how far something is, you tell them how long it
will take to get there rather than how many miles away it is.
6. The 4 seasons are: Fire, Flood, Mud, and Drought.

OR

You can retire to New York City where...

1. You say "the city" and expect everyone to know you mean Manhattan.
2. You can get into a four-hour argument about how to get from Columbus
Circle to Battery Park, but can't find Wisconsin on a map.
3. You think Central Park is "nature."
4. You believe that being able to swear at people in their own language
makes you multi-lingual.
5. You've worn out a car horn. (Ed. Note if you have a car).
6. You think eye contact is an act of aggression.

OR

You can retire to Minnesota where...

1. You only have four spices: salt, pepper, ketchup, and Tabasco.
2. Halloween costumes fit over parkas.
3. You have more than one recipe for casserole.
4. Sexy lingerie is anything flannel with less than eight buttons.
5. The four seasons are: winter, still winter, almost winter, and
construction.

OR

You can retire to the Deep South where...

1. You can rent a movie and buy bait in the same store.
2. "Y'all" is singular and "all y'all" is plural.
3. "He needed killin" is a valid defense.
4. Everyone has 2 first names: Billy Bob, Jimmy Bob, Mary Sue, Betty
Jean, Mary Beth, etc.
5. Everything is either "in yonder," "over yonder" or "out yonder." It's
important to know the difference, too.

OR

You can retire to Colorado where...

1. You carry your $3,000 mountain bike atop your $500 car.
2. You tell your husband to pick up Granola on his way home and so he
stops at the day care center.
3. A pass does not involve a football or dating.
4. The top of your head is bald, but you still have a pony tail.

OR

You can retire to the Midwest where...

1. You've never met any celebrities, but the mayor knows your name.
2 Your idea of a traffic jam is ten cars waiting to pass a tractor
3. You have had to switch from "heat" to "A/C" on the same day.
4. You end sentences with a preposition: "Where's my coat at?"
5. When asked how your trip was to any exotic place, you say, "It was
different!"

OR

FINALLY You can retire to Florida where.

1. You eat dinner at 3:15 in the afternoon.
2. All purchases include a coupon of some kind -- even houses and cars.
3. Everyone can recommend an excellent dermatologist.
4. Road construction never ends anywhere in the state.
5. Cars in front of you often appear to be driven by headless people.

Flash...I loved that, thinking about my favorite, guess I'll stay in CA. This is a case where good imagination is truly brillant.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 01/14/2011 04:22PM by Irene_L.A..

I literally laughed at loud at the California one:

"5. When someone asks you how far something is, you tell them how long it
will take to get there rather than how many miles away it is. "

I've lived here all my life and just recently noticed that hardly anybody else does this. Somebody asks how to get to Disneyland it's, "About fifty minutes on the 405, three hours in traffic."

I also once had a midwestern tourist ask me where a certain theater was. I told her, "just about four blocks that way." She asked, "How far's a block?"

I am retired in Florida so #4 and #5 really struck home for me. The list was sent to me by a friend who lives in WA, so I had to chuckle that there was nothing there about Boeing, Microsoft, fish flings and bistros.

I, too, am retired in Florida and can definitely attest to the cars ahead appearing to be driven by headless people.

Here in Florida no one is ever charged with "leaving the scene of an accident" because when they hit something they usually take it with them.

Love the Sunshine State.

is the headless person reference to the waves off the black top?

Older folks in general are shorter, on average, than the rest of the adult population. This arises from two causes: childhood diet for many of us was wartime or soon post war, so was somewhat deficient. This led to us tending to be shorter than our children or even siblings born later whose diet was more varied and generally more likely to support fuller genetic height potentials. Second, as you age you lose some height. This can be caused by legs bowing, but more often is a slow collapse of the spine. My legs are not bowed and there are no real noticeable issues with my spine but I am more than 1 1/2" shorter than I was 40 years ago. Most vehicles are made to fit the 'average' 30 something. That makes seat backs and headrests tall enough that frequently you can not see the head of an elderly driver when you are following them.

Just went to Doc and funny, he says, "You have not lost an inch". Have always been 5'6 and still am...I know this is unusual, and can't tell you why, but I'm proud of my height. Children here are all much taller than their parents, mine is 5'7 and my friends kids are taller as well, we think it's the sunshine and good food. Fla. should be similar to CA, but guess not!

From what I see I'm in the Midwest category already. If I could retire to somewhere I rather like the northwest where I vacationed some years ago. I love mountains.

A lot of the headless drivers around here are the younger folks who are almost laying down when they drive or leaning to the right over the console. Makes me wonder if they took their driving test like that.

L.A. drivers are sitting up straight, driving very aggressively, but that's L.A. I think Fla. has more seniors. Funny stuff....