No, not "sooo much Debbie Downers" in the post. Someone mentioned the word compassion. Maybe filled with "sooo much" compassion, a Christian trait. Someone had the idea to start a thread on this forum asking, "What are you grateful for?" Maybe instead of being a Debbie Downer they are sooo grateful, but for the grace of God, things could have been so much worse. For most of my adult life now, and even today, I have done volunteer work. I have worked with churches, and sometimes independently working in shelters or walking the streets feeding and clothing people who don't have means to do it themselves. I talk to people that the rest of society looks at and says/thinks, YUCK. I learn first hand some of their life stories and how they found themselves in a dire point in their life. Yes, a lot of it some would characterize as self inflicted, but a lot is the result of tragic events. Often I think, it could have happened to me. My life could be a movie. Among other things I have been a licensed realtor, insurance agent, and credential teacher. You have to go through thorough background checks before you are issued those licenses or credentials, and to obtain employment. I can't adequately convey how my heart would cringe every time I saw the question on applications asking have you ever been arrested for a misdemeanor or a felony. In a moment of solitude once, I reflected and realized I had been in jail in Gardena, Los Angeles ( 3 different locations), Hollywood, Lynwood, Redondo Beach, Lennox, Carson, Compton, Inglewood, and Orange County. These things happened mostly between the ages of 18-21. Nothing serious, but stupid stuff. So I had this past that was all but forgotten until I had to fill out an application. It haunted me. I was honest, and answered accordingly (the worst thing you can do is lie). I am grateful. My stupid drug filled drunken youth could have hindered me the rest of my life. But for the grace of God, my past was not held against me. I got the license I needed. I got the credential I needed. I got the jobs I wanted. Trust me, this is only part of the story. I could have gone down for things nobody knows about. I am blessed, and I know it. My brother was once one of those people you might see and say yuck. A wino. You know, the person you see laying in the street drunk. I took him in. Gave him a roof over his head, but for years I dealt with a drunken wino living in my house. One day, God intervened. My brother eventually never had another drink, and although he was never financially independent, he became independent, getting his own apartment and living a productive life. He had a compassionate brother and compassionate God. I have lots of real life experience that have made me eternally grateful, realizing I am/was just a step of fate away from a different outcome. This is not a Debbie Downer story. It is a story of engaging with people and maybe in so doing "make the world a better place." It is a story of gratitude, gratefulness, and compassion.

7 midlife money traps that could drain your wealth

[www.theepochtimes.com]

Thank you for sharing parts of your story 1forum1.

We seem to have some soulless posters on this forum who apparently live in a vacuum.

You've heard about these people - as long as it's not a problem for them, it's not a problem for anybody.

Anyway, they might forget that each screen name here is a real person, with a real life story.

Most of us don't know each other personally - so for them to come here for validation is laughable.

Some here literally have NO idea who they're talking to....

If they only knew.

Again, thank you for sharing. I am always inspired and remain so.

Just because you have achieved financial independence doesn't make it easy. I congratulate you for it, but you must realize that you were lucky on many fronts. I call your attention to the fact that your spouse agreed to live in a single wide trailer. There are many that would say that is a deal breaker, we need to do better, or it's over. Although you did not have much at that time, divorce costs money. That's why some people joke that it is worth it. I am like you, I would prefer to live simpler, to an extent, to try to save.

I am not sure of your age, but you are probably lucky in when you came up as I guess that you went to school in the 70s or early 80s when you could pay for school by working full time in the summer and not have to take out any loans. Since you worked your way through school, that means you didn't have a full ride. Given the rise in the cost of school, most have to take out loans or get help from somewhere to pay for it even with a full time summer job. People graduating today will most likely have some student loans. This is a hurdle that they have to overcome before achieving financial independence. The hope is they have an in demand degree like engineering or accounting and not something like gender studies.

Take the compliment. You don't need to fight it. You did something that not many are able to achieve and it is something that is not easy for most.

I am stunned that the majority of Americans don't have $1000 to cover an emergency expense. That tells me that financial independence is not easy. Do some spend money as fast as and sometimes faster than they make it - Yes.

@Momomomo wrote:

I am stunned that the majority of Americans don't have $1000 to cover an emergency expense. That tells me that financial independence is not easy. Do some spend money as fast as and sometimes faster than they make it - Yes.

Recently I have started watching a youtube channel called "Financial audit", and I ensure, you will be finding tons of reason on why "financial independence" is hard LMAO. I can't stop laughing episodes afte repisodes

[www.youtube.com]

"pull yourself up by your own boot straps."

some think that began as a critique of social inequities instead of an idea of hard work. mainly because its impossible to do. boot straps are on a horse already. they dont start with nothing. people would have known this and how impossible and ironic it was.

@kisekinecro wrote:

@Momomomo wrote:

I am stunned that the majority of Americans don't have $1000 to cover an emergency expense. That tells me that financial independence is not easy. Do some spend money as fast as and sometimes faster than they make it - Yes.

Recently I have started watching a youtube channel called "Financial audit", and I ensure, you will be finding tons of reason on why "financial independence" is hard LMAO. I can't stop laughing episodes afte repisodes

[www.youtube.com]

Love his temper tantrums when the guests say the most outrageous things! Once you watch a couple of the episodes, it's the same thing over and over, but entertaining at first.

I remember one successful female guest who built a dividend portfolio. He couldn't say anything! It's all relative.

@Momomomo wrote:

Just because you have achieved financial independence doesn't make it easy. I congratulate you for it, but you must realize that you were lucky on many fronts. I call your attention to the fact that your spouse agreed to live in a single wide trailer. There are many that would say that is a deal breaker, we need to do better, or it's over. Although you did not have much at that time, divorce costs money. That's why some people joke that it is worth it. I am like you, I would prefer to live simpler, to an extent, to try to save.

I am not sure of your age, but you are probably lucky in when you came up as I guess that you went to school in the 70s or early 80s when you could pay for school by working full time in the summer and not have to take out any loans. Since you worked your way through school, that means you didn't have a full ride. Given the rise in the cost of school, most have to take out loans or get help from somewhere to pay for it even with a full time summer job. People graduating today will most likely have some student loans. This is a hurdle that they have to overcome before achieving financial independence. The hope is they have an in demand degree like engineering or accounting and not something like gender studies.

Take the compliment. You don't need to fight it. You did something that not many are able to achieve and it is something that is not easy for most.

I am stunned that the majority of Americans don't have $1000 to cover an emergency expense. That tells me that financial independence is not easy. Do some spend money as fast as and sometimes faster than they make it - Yes.

Have you thought about why college tuition is so costly today?

Look no further than mom and dad who pushed each child to go to college and get a degree. Any degree. What happens when too many people chase after a product or service? That's right, supply and demand pushes up the cost. How do consumers deal with rising cost? They take out bigger and bigger loans. Ta-da! Student loan crisis.

What has happened recently? College enrollment is dropping and trade school enrollment is up.

Now a side note about relationships and money. So my spouse's niece finds a fine young man to marry. We attend their wedding. During the vows she decides to be "cute" and respond with, during an official ceremony with all witnesses to hear and video recording; "...for rich or richer..." instead of, well, you know the line. I leaned over to my spouse and said, that's not a good omen. The bride's Aunt wasn't pleased either. Fast forward a few years? Divorced! For the record, that was one of only two marriages we've attended that have, so far, ended in divorce.

I am very grateful that I finished my formal education (undergraduate and graduate degrees) before the $hit hit the fan.

Now all I see is higher education as a racket funded by student loan cartels (aka banks and colleges) in bed with the govt.

not unlike the health care industry funded by insurance companies and corporations in bed with the govt.

They're ugly behemoths. It's a tragedy what we've allowed to happen to education and healthcare in this country in the past few decades.

Newer technology is something of a breather, but the entire systems IMO, should be dismantled and restructured. Of course, IMO.

As I've mentioned before, I am also a resident of another country outside the US.

When I'm there, I try to get all the dental care and medical care I want and sometimes, need....the relationship is between me and the healthcare provider only, I pay out of pocket and it's still cheaper on a net outlay basis...and quality is great (so far). It's wonderful when you and the healthcare provider can deal with each other directly.

@Momomomo wrote:

Just because you have achieved financial independence doesn't make it easy. I congratulate you for it, but you must realize that you were lucky on many fronts. I call your attention to the fact that your spouse agreed to live in a single wide trailer. There are many that would say that is a deal breaker, we need to do better, or it's over. Although you did not have much at that time, divorce costs money. That's why some people joke that it is worth it. I am like you, I would prefer to live simpler, to an extent, to try to save.

I am not sure of your age, but you are probably lucky in when you came up as I guess that you went to school in the 70s or early 80s when you could pay for school by working full time in the summer and not have to take out any loans. Since you worked your way through school, that means you didn't have a full ride. Given the rise in the cost of school, most have to take out loans or get help from somewhere to pay for it even with a full time summer job. People graduating today will most likely have some student loans. This is a hurdle that they have to overcome before achieving financial independence. The hope is they have an in demand degree like engineering or accounting and not something like gender studies.

Take the compliment. You don't need to fight it. You did something that not many are able to achieve and it is something that is not easy for most.

I am stunned that the majority of Americans don't have $1000 to cover an emergency expense. That tells me that financial independence is not easy. Do some spend money as fast as and sometimes faster than they make it - Yes.

Oh, and luck? That had nothing to do with. I just love it when people talk about so many events as luck.

Living in a single trailer? That was my spouse's idea, before we were married. It was a better financial decision vs getting an apartment. We lived there less than 2 yrs, sold it, and moved into a small house, 2 BR, 1Bath, we bought from a relative.

Paying for college? Attending a college where you can co-op, work part-time in industry, helped immensely. I also lived at mom's home and commuted to college. A college near me today has huge dorms, a hotel for parents to use when they visit, restaurants and bars on the edge of campus along with tattoo, nail, hair, etc. services. I never used any such services while in college. Ok, there was some bar life off campus, but that was it. To go to a restaurant while I was in college? That was just unheard of in my college years. Now college students have credit cards from the bank of mom and dad. Of course, selecting a college major that employers need help immensely. Yeah, I don't know of any reputable companies that are looking for the "gender studies" major you referenced. Meanwhile, the liberal indoctrination is eroding the value of higher education in the US. Test scores continue to decline. Hopefully, we will, as a nation realize the errors and pull out of the ditch. But first we need to acknowledge the errors and address the mental illness. It will take much more than luck.

Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 10/07/2025 03:22PM by maverick1.