One of my friends is the person who got me involved in MS'ing over a year ago. Now when we are out at social functions, he brags about how much money he has made MS'ing and how he got me involved in it and how much money I am making with MS'ing. (Which he has no idea because I don't talk about it with people.)

I have pulled him aside and asked/told him not to talk about MS'ing in public. When he has been drinking, he is VERY loud. I told him that our area is saturated with MS'ers so it might be best to keep his mouth shut because you never know who is listening. He blew me off as if I didn't know what I was talking about.

Then a woman approached me at the event and said she overheard my friend talking about mystery shopping and started asking me questions about it. I acted like I didn't know what she was talking about and said that my friend probably drank too much.

So, how do I stop a bragasaurus?

Don't give them alcohol. Dip the rim of the glass with alcohol and fill the glass with soda

I didn't give him the alcohol. We were at a wine tasting event. And he was there before I arrived. We are friends, not dating.

I just wish he would keep his big trap shut. :-X

Secretly report him to the MSC?? That could backfire though.

If he is not naming names there is nothing to report.

I have no idea how to stop him. If I were in your situation and someone commented, I would say something like "I did that for a while, but I'm not doing it now." That would be true. You would not be doing it at the moment.

Another option is to avoid him entirely. While that may seem harsh with a "friend," how good a friend can someone be when they have so little respect for you and your privacy?

LisaSTL Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Another option is to avoid him entirely. While
> that may seem harsh with a "friend," how good a
> friend can someone be when they have so little
> respect for you and your privacy?

And so little respect for your business endeavors.

I agree with Lisa. How great a friend can someone be that puts his own ego above your concerns to preserve your future business opportunities?

I actually did a twist on Lisa's advice with a lodge brother who I used to take on dining shops. He's young enough that he can be carded for alcohol purchases, which was the reason I would choose "Fred". The first shop, he tells the bartender that I'm his uncle and he's taking me out to celebrate my birthday. Fine and dandy except I'm supposed to pay the bar in cash and report on how the cash is handled. When the bartender was busy with a different guest, I slipped "Fred" the money to pay the bar bill, and I also told him the tip could not exceed 20%. I was able to observe the transaction, he comes back and, on the way to the hotel restaurant, I get the change. I noticed it wasn't right and "Fred" says the service was so good I tipped him extra.

It went downhill during the dinner. "Fred" decided we were business executives in town to close a deal. I didn't go along with his roleplaying.

On the way home, I explained why, what he had done, could have hurt me. I was able, through all his B.S., to record the timings I needed and complete the report successfully. He promised me that wouldn't happen again, so I gave him a second chance on a dinner shop where exact times weren't required, just relative times. He hadn't learned the lesson and I told him so.

Last week I was driving to an out of town lodge meeting and "Fred" was along for the ride. I casually mentioned that I received an email that afternoon to shop Ruth's Chris Steakhouse. He asked when we were going. I said, "We aren't going." I told him, point blank, that he's been treating these as s#!ts and &!&&les, and I can't risk a $150+ loss to my business because he doesn't take it seriously.

Sometimes it takes tough love.

I think I may have found a solution. You know those tranquilizer guns that wildlife officers use to subdue a wild animal? I need to find one small enough to fit into my purse and every time he starts bragging, I pop him in the bootie!

Shop2LiveinFL Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I think I may have found a solution. You know
> those tranquilizer guns that wildlife officers use
> to subdue a wild animal? I need to find one small
> enough to fit into my purse and every time he
> starts bragging, I pop him in the bootie!




What about the one that you have to blow through a straw? Tiny and discreet !

How about a tazer?

I would love to hear some ideas that are actually feasible too. :> My friend is actually worse. She loves feeling like she knows it all and once when we were out she even went so far as to start giving out the names of various MSCs in our area and telling them the website addresses so that people could write it down and look it up later. I was cringing inside, but what can you do?

G3B, it sounds like your friend is hurting you and making you uncomfortable.

Geesh!

Not sure how to stop this, it would depend on just how good a friend we're talking about, and how strongly you're willing to come across.

I don't hide that I'm an MS'er from family/friends, but the most I'll tell anyone who asks about how they can get started, is to give them the address for this forum! I tell them there's a list of all the companies to apply for there, and lots of info they can study about how to get going. I emphasize all the time & effort involved in applying to companies (including writing samples), looking for and getting all the jobs lined up, and all the reporting that must be done ~ that this is NOT quick easy money. Oh, and that there is definitely a learning curve. I don't encourage or discourage. If they really are willing to put all the time & effort into it, then good for them. But so far, not one of them has been. If they can't just go out and do it, they're not interested any further. Or, they are uncomfortable with having to act out scenarios, or have poor memory for detail.

Actually, I've only given out the basic info three times. Most are interested in the concept, but not in doing it themselves. I guess I've been lucky!

I employ the same strategies as StormCloud when asked about mystery shopping, and am very general in any information that I share.

I can't imagine handing out names of MSCs or bragging about earning scads of cash from mystery shopping when I know this will only serve to make it harder to do my job with increased competition in my area. I can't even imagine why anyone would think this is a good thing to do.

However, I lack any substantive ideas on how to stop an acquaintance from indulging in such practices. I guess I would start with by asking this friend if they plan on giving up their mystery shopping gig soon. After they ask why, I'd tell my so-called pal that it doesn't seem that they are all that interested in ensuring that they have future opportunities for work in their area since they are inviting competition to take it away from them.

Depending upon my relationship with this bragasaurus, I might go so far as to ask them to please cease and desist after explaining how critically this could affect my own business.

No matter how much I talk it up, I can't get anyone to take any of the jobs that I'm talking about. This area, especially north of me, really need good shoppers. But, if they don't want it, that's fine. I'll take all the money. Mwah hahahahaha!



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 01/29/2013 07:58PM by zeta1993.

I don't mind sharing. Companies offer finders fees anyway. I notice there are scads of jobs in Houston which are not claimed and scads of car shop jobs not claimed. There are not always enough shoppers for the jobs available. I don't know how many shoppers there are in my area - would be interested to learn that. However, I view it as people need to work and I don't mind sharing with someone who needs the job.

I will amend my comment to say that I have actually encouraged my niece & nephew to take the compliance shops. But my nephew got a full-time job now (and is doing very well at it) and is also going to community college full time. My niece, I'm not exactly sure what she does, but she always needs money. She's just not comfortable with the scenario.

I have told my very immediate family how much I'm making, in round numbers; but a) they're the ones who have NO interest in doing this themselves and b) it's because I've been *SO* underemployed and they didn't think this was a good way to make any more than a handful of money.

The comment to the bragasauraus along the lines of "are you getting out of the business?" might work, alright!

If there is consistently unclaimed jobs in your area, that you yourself aren't interested in taking, then it probably wouldn't hurt. I would share specifics here (other than the compliance jobs, which I'm too old for)... there's not enough jobs for me as it is!!

I dunno. Call me crazy, but I don't know how you start down the path of telling someone specifics about certain assignments in your area that are available, and yet not risk your own future working opportunities. Once others learn about specific MSCs and actually get rolling with mystery shopping, there's nothing to stop them from looking for and taking other assignments that these and other MSCs have available.

Sure, it's great and all to help others. Times are tough. Lots of people need jobs. But sorry, my family and its well-being come first. That's why I'm in this gig. I'm definitely not going to foster an environment in which I create my own competition that will negatively impact my business and my earnings. I have enough competition out there in mystery shopping land already without making things more difficult for myself.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 01/29/2013 02:12AM by shopgal.

I would either ignore him or just walk to another area of the room completely and avoid him at all costs. Nobody likes a Bragasaurus due to them being full of kaka.

Good post!

Only my immediate family knows what I do and where I go.
My friends know what I do, but I will not share specific details. I say that I am not allowed.
When they ask, "How do I get into this?", I explain that the field is more difficult and labor intensive than it seems with lots of time spent online finding assignments for very little money and lots of time online writing results. The writing part usually "turns them off", as if results are magically transported through osmosis. I will not offer referrals and explain to my friends that I need to earn a living and that competetion is tough in my area. They do understand because I say it softly. As for the Big Brag; "Dang", distance yourself at every opportunity. My 2 pennies.

I tell folks I am a retail auditor and merchandiser -- which, at times, I am, so no falsehoods there. Once I begin to talk about my exciting experiences organizing and reshelving magazines, or inspecting products for quality compliance, people generally move on to another subject. I generally don't talk about the other things I do, so as to avoid my anonymity being compromised.

Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 01/29/2013 02:59AM by Omgee.

I like to brag about how much I make mytery shopping. When people ask, I send them to Franchise Compliance, Freeman and other good MSC's.

If there is a shortage of jobs - why do some jobs never get taken? I realize some require a certain type of vehicle but good grief there are tons of ff shops never touched. Maybe the pay is bad but a meal is a meal. I am not close to Houston - 2 hours - so going over there has to make financial sense.

We should ALL be proud of ourselves here. Mystery Shopping takes a special talent! People who are actually successful at this, as well as merchandisers, would be considered the "cream of the crop" in corporate America.

(Some) Qualities/Skills that we have, that most employers have a hard time finding:

Resourceful
Excellent researchers
Superb writing skills
Dependable
Detail oriented
Attention to detail
Excellent time-management
Highly ethical
Go-getters (will get the job done no matter what)
Uphold the highest integrity to our positions
Maintain discretion
Excellent leaders
Loyal
Great follow-up skills
Ability to communicate effectively (verbal or written)
Demonstrate good judgment
Intermediate computer skills
Efficient technology skills (copier, fax, scanner, camera, etc.)
Maintain calendar and schedule
Project management
EXTREMELY hard worker

You get the point! And there's much more. But I just want to point out (based on some of the posts I'm reading in this thread), BESIDES YOURSELF, who else do YOU really personally know has the patience, intelligence, and integrity to do what we do?

I told ONE person ONE time about mystery shopping. I even gave her a 40 page print out of all the companies (mystery shop and merchandising) that I know with all their contact information. I sat down with her and told her to apply to 5 companies at a time. I even volunteered to go on her first assignment with her and help WRITE her first report. Do you think she did it??? NO! I stopped wasting my time because most people don't even have the intelligence to even comprehend what we do. Trying to explain to a person that they just save a certain amount of money on an oil change or groceries or whatever is a useless point. If they aren't getting a paycheck every Friday or every other Thursday, they just don't seem to understand.

As far as the OP, I believed someone mentioned playing dumb. That's exactly what I would do. I would act as if I didn't know what he was talking about and really start keeping my distance. Another thing, since most people don't understand what we do and they start with MSing is a scam, I just agree with them and tell them YEP, a whole lot of companies out there are scams and you just have to be careful. I'm too busy trying to get assignments and complete reports to go into all of it with them.

A fast food lunch isn't typicallly something I consider a meal. to me a mean means nutrition, something sorely lacking in a big mac and fries. I don't need that type of "food" in my body. So, even though I am broke, those aren't jobs I do.

I voluntarily removed myself from all the FF clients offered by one company and my reasoning was the same as yours. When you factor in all of the potential health issues, that FF meal is not cheap.

Deck him in the kisser!

I generally like fast food, and most of them are really easy & fairly quick. I will always add one on to a route, and have even done several in one day. In the cases of several a day, I only eat a very little bit of each one. My brother rents my upstairs and eats like a horse without getting fat. He gets the rest.

It is funny how so many people get turned off when you tell them about all the details that must be remembered and properly reported. What do they think the point of this is, anyway?

And I kinda like MsCheley's suggestion! : )