Rudeness, Insults, Bullying and Other Bad Karma

There have been numerous threads on this board recently that have degraded into a lot of nastiness an fights. Often something rude or derogatory is posted, which results multiple retorts and varying levels of escalation. Each response spurns more responses and...... Let's just say they don't bring anything positive to the forum. Moreover, I am certain that it chases newcomers away.

There is no point in naming names or pointing fingers here. We, as a community, just need to get it to stop.

Here is what I suggest:
Anytime we read a post that we find rude, derogatory or generally nasty we should have one simple reply: "Reported." We then simply report it to the moderators. It would be perfectly acceptable for a post to be "reported" several times.

The advantages of this is that it makes a clear statement of "This is not okay" without getting into a back-and-forth. Moreover, it separates the substance of the discussion from the bullying behavior, allowing the community to condemn the behavior itself. Finally, it notifies moderators of an issue allowing them to deal with the person/s as they see fit, without making a public deal about it.

Hard work builds character and homework is good for your soul.


Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 01/08/2018 03:58AM by MFJohnston.

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Couldn't have said it better myself. Trolls tend to go away when you stop feeding them attention. Hopefully this can be a teaching lesson and we as a community can move forward.

Love. Not Hate. Life is too short to spend time hating one another. We're all in this together
It all starts with the regulars here not participating in such behaviors and responding simply without escalating. Even if it takes time for moderators to respond, the simple "report" response should be effective if widely used.

This forum did a lot to help bring me success shopping and I'd hate to see it degrade to a point where others cannot find the same guidance I did.

Hard work builds character and homework is good for your soul.


Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 01/08/2018 03:47AM by MFJohnston.
I make my fair share of mistakes, too.... Just ask my wife. smiling smiley

Hard work builds character and homework is good for your soul.
I agree as well! I’m all for a discussion and even a healthy disagreement every once in awhile but it just seems to turn nasty so quickly on here and I’m usually reading the threads so lost on how it got so ugly... Nobody is perfect, I suppose we are all works in progress.
Reported

"During my service in the United States Congress, I took the initiative in creating the Internet." ~ Al Gore
Of course if some says "reported" and there is no apparent reason for something to be reported, it renders the whole thing meaningless.

What's done is done. An egg cracked cannot be cured.
There are 3 kinds of lies. Lies, Damn lies, and statistics.
This system is like communism good in theory but doesn't work in the real world. Most trouble is sparked when someone labels someone else a 'troll' because they have differing views. 'Reported' will just be a new and easier way to in effect label someone a 'troll'.

The abuse of the system as outlined above will lead to more trouble than before. And threads will be full of 'Reported'.

Next idea!
It's to be sure that your threads will be full of "Reported".

Do you have a better idea or do you plan on going thread to thread discounting every idea there is?
Well, the existing system is much better than the one put forward here. How about keeping things as they are? It is not perfect but nothing is.

I haven't read any of your ideas yet....
Actually, I put my ideas into action. The OP just wrote my idea here when I put REPORTED on your prison post.
Here's the trick:
If you don't hurl insults and otherwise break forum rules, you won't be labeled as "reported"! If you insist on doing so, you will. If you don't wish to be "labeled," don't invite the labeling.

The rudeness and hostile posts should have no place there and I have no issue "reporting" anybody who act as such. If a forum member is consistently reported as such, the mods will toss him/her - and the problem will be solved.

As for the person who labels another as a "troll" for the simple expression of another viewpoint: I would report the name-caller. If you are suggesting that folks will use "reported" as way to call somebody a troll... I guess if somebody wanted to announce themselves as having the mindset of a five-year-old, I guess they could... Though, I think every reasonable person would simply shake their head and think, "sad."


@Catnap wrote:

This system is like communism good in theory but doesn't work in the real world. Most trouble is sparked when someone labels someone else a 'troll' because they have differing views. 'Reported' will just be a new and easier way to in effect label someone a 'troll'.

The abuse of the system as outlined above will lead to more trouble than before. And threads will be full of 'Reported'.

Next idea!

Hard work builds character and homework is good for your soul.
How about people simply not insult one-another?
The "point" of the suggestion is not to exacerbate the issues brought forth by one person behaving like a child by having others respond on a similar immature level. I find the behaviors exhibited on several threads recently completely shameful.

@Catnap wrote:

Well, the existing system is much better than the one put forward here. How about keeping things as they are? It is not perfect but nothing is.

I haven't read any of your ideas yet....

Hard work builds character and homework is good for your soul.
Six years on the forum, and now a member tells us we are not to use our internet phrase troll, which tells others to beware.....we have been using it forever, could you find a replacement...thx in advance. Question, did someone make you the mod, still able to contribute.....?

I realize I don't have to doubt how far I can go. I just have to remember how far I've come.....
I think that posters who want to post on threads should post as a contribution "ME TOO" accordingly. Threads that say this msc ripped me off, has a crappy scheduler, got mugged on a shop etc. don't need to be inundated with posts by posters that say "That is not my experience, that company doesn't rip people off, doesn't have a crappy scheduler, and I never got mugged on a shop" do not provide a positive contribution to what is otherwise a negative post. But should'a, could'a and would'a doesn't matter. If I started a forum I guess I would need to know how to moderate a forum. But I don't so I won't. But there are posts/threads that are obviously made to antagonize, however, I don't think those should be deleted or highly moderated or closed either. If you read the entire forum you will see that at one time or another every poster who has been here and is here, either continuously or sporadically, has called another poster an ass at one time or another. That's because, at one time or another, we are all asses.
Actually Irene, JacobJ PMed once and told me not to call other forum members "troll" publicly regardless of whether or thought they were or not. But you know, if it looks like a duck, walks like a duck, quacks like a duck...
@MFJohnston wrote:

Here's the trick:
If you don't hurl insults and otherwise break forum rules, you won't be labeled as "reported"! ]

@Sassymmm has a simple explanation why it won't work. Anyway I can 100 percent guarantee that the system won't be adopted.

@MFJohnston who knows your comments might lead to a workable system.

BTW: My comments are not a personal criticism of you. It is good that you have started the debate at least.
Many of us do, say things tongue in cheek, trying to be humerous, those that are on same page get it, the rest don't...with a variety of shoppers, this is normal. I do think there is a place for problems with MSC's, when the one time shopper posts a book of h/she has been treated poorly and it is their fault, we get angry sticking up for our companies, we get a lot of this. This should be a place to come to vent or praise, it does get out of hand, human nature, how to control a forum, good question. Should we take it into our own hands and toggle or not read threads that we find not good, yes, but it will never happen. Telling others what and how to react certainly doesn't work....Back to square one.......Maybe a new thread with some ideas....

I realize I don't have to doubt how far I can go. I just have to remember how far I've come.....
@Irene_L.A.
I am not talking about those things - and you know it.
I am talking about folks who:
* Call others derogatory names, especially when they include profanity.
* Demand that folks leave the site - or celebrate when they say they will.
* Blatantly accuse others of lying.
* Start threads for the purpose of attacking a person.
* Jump in to join an attack on somebody, because the "attacker" is a friend.

These are all classic examples of online bullying and have been commonplace here over the last three weeks.

What I find shocking is that I am having an exchange with adults who are defending their "right' to act like this, as if they are supposed to be except from forum rules and societal norms.

Hard work builds character and homework is good for your soul.


Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 01/08/2018 11:54PM by MFJohnston.
@Irene_L.A. wrote:

Six years on the forum, and now a member tells us we are not to use our internet phrase troll, which tells others to beware.....we have been using it forever, could you find a replacement...thx in advance. Question, did someone make you the mod, still able to contribute.....?

What MF Johnston is saying is not new. It reflects what JacobJ, the forum's owner, has been telling us for years.
It is true that some forum members have been calling others trolls "forever." Many times over the life of the forum, JacobJ has asked that we NOT call others trolls. He has told us specifically how he would like us to handle a situation in which we believe another forum member is a troll, but many forum members have ignored his request and continued to sling the troll name "forever." Here's a link to the most recent time Jacob told us, 5 months ago, September 2017: [www.mysteryshopforum.com]

Actually, he worded it well. Instead of hoping everyone clicks on the link, I'll quote it. You can also click the link and read the comments of others on the thread and see that a number of forum members liked his post.

Quote from JacobJ re responding to trolls:

"As I've written before, please DO NOT call someone a troll. Even if they are clearly a troll. It does not help the forum discussion, and usually has the effect of encouraging trolls to continue to post.

If somebody is violating the forum rules, please report the post. If the discussion is offensive in other ways, please report it as well. If you believe somebody is causing issues not covered by the forum rules, feel free to reach out to me at any point. Thank you.

If another forum member is rude, the best course of action is to ignore them, and not to increase the negativity on the forum by publicly pointing out their rudeness. Ignoring them will, in fact, be the most demoralizing course of action for any troll, and the most likely to drive them away."

What MF is proposing sounds right on track with how Jacob has asked us to behave.
Thx AM I had not seen this request from Jacob and coming from him will abide.

I realize I don't have to doubt how far I can go. I just have to remember how far I've come.....
@MFJohnston wrote:

How about people simply not insult one-another?

What a great idea!

Talking tough is easy when it's other people's evil and you're judging what they do and don't believe.
@AustinMom. Any fairly active newbie would have come across references relating to the 'troll' rule after a week or two. I remember @SteveSoCal calling a multi year veteran (with thousands of posts to her name) out for using the 'troll card' in the now deleted thread for example.

Whether people decide to abide by the rule is another question.

Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 01/09/2018 12:56AM by Catnap.
@spicy1 wrote:

It's to be sure that your threads will be full of "Reported".

Do you have a better idea or do you plan on going thread to thread discounting every idea there is?

Just ignore them and stick with the participants that are here to lend knowledge and help each other.
Or make a "pact" to not comment on certain people's posts, then PM them privately looking for personal information, and end up commenting round-about on their posts anyway.

People never cease to amaze me; some in a good way and others not so much.

"During my service in the United States Congress, I took the initiative in creating the Internet." ~ Al Gore
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