Rudeness, Insults, Bullying and Other Bad Karma

@Catnap wrote:

@MFJohnston wrote:

Here's the trick:
If you don't hurl insults and otherwise break forum rules, you won't be labeled as "reported"! ]

@Sassymmm has a simple explanation why it won't work. Anyway I can 100 percent guarantee that the system won't be adopted.

@MFJohnston who knows your comments might lead to a workable system.

BTW: My comments are not a personal criticism of you. It is good that you have started the debate at least.
I do? I have an explanation why it won't work? Funny I don't remember what it was. lol

What's done is done. An egg cracked cannot be cured.
There are 3 kinds of lies. Lies, Damn lies, and statistics.

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Who's PMing people asking for personal information? See, that's how this stuff gets started in the first place! The insinuations are worse than outright calling someone a troll.
@iShop123 wrote:

Or make a "pact" to not comment on certain people's posts, then PM them privately looking for personal information, and end up commenting round-about on their posts anyway.

People never cease to amaze me; some in a good way and others not so much.
Me either, no one has asked me, or given me, any personal info on a PM.
@iShop123, did someone PM you and ask you for personal information?
It would be much better if we could all learn to toughen up and not allow people to get to us. Seriously, if you're irrelevant to me, your opinion of me doesn't matter. You can call me everything but a nice guy and I won't care.

Arguing with fools is like playing chess with a pigeon...
...No matter how good you are, the pigeon will s@^t on the board and strut around like it won anyway.

Not scheduling for ANY company.
Why let anyone run someone into the ground on a public forum, no, put a stop to severe name calling. New shoppers coming on to learn see this, and it lowers the forum. Those doing it will continue as long as they can.
The old saying, "Why" because I can.....first time, kick them out and not let them come back under a false name.
We are tough (@Dante Scheduler), but this is not acceptable. We have lost may contributing members to this nonsense, and kept the perpetrater

Create a life that feels good on the inside, not one that just looks good on the outside.....
Dr. Judith Wright


Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 01/10/2018 04:21PM by Irene_L.A..
Duplicate/computer glinch

Create a life that feels good on the inside, not one that just looks good on the outside.....
Dr. Judith Wright


Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 01/10/2018 04:17PM by Irene_L.A..
Computer glinch

Create a life that feels good on the inside, not one that just looks good on the outside.....
Dr. Judith Wright


Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 01/10/2018 04:18PM by Irene_L.A..
Sorry -duplicate

Create a life that feels good on the inside, not one that just looks good on the outside.....
Dr. Judith Wright


Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 01/10/2018 04:22PM by Irene_L.A..
@Irene_L.A. wrote:

Why let anyone run someone into the ground on a public forum, no, put a stop to severe name calling. New shoppers coming on to learn see this, and it lowers the forum. Those doing it will continue as long as they can.
The old saying, "Why" because I can.....first time, kick them out and not let them come back under a false name.
We are tough (@Dante Scheduler), but this is not acceptable.....if it happened to you you'd get it said with respect.

I understand what you had to say was important, but did you really need to post it 4 times? LOL

Arguing with fools is like playing chess with a pigeon...
...No matter how good you are, the pigeon will s@^t on the board and strut around like it won anyway.

Not scheduling for ANY company.
My computer stuck and kept going I removed duplicates, once was enough,and needed to be said. We are losing good long standing members.

Create a life that feels good on the inside, not one that just looks good on the outside.....
Dr. Judith Wright


Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 01/10/2018 04:24PM by Irene_L.A..
@DanteScheduler
Irene is exactly right on this. While having a little bit of a "thick skin" is important as adults, we also, as adults, have to demand a certain level of decorum of ourselves and those who share public spaces with us. We've gone too far and need to self-correct. In many ways, this forum is the closest thing that mystery shoppers have to a professional community. If we can't present ourselves as professional, how can we demand to be treated as such by the companies that provide us work?

Hard work builds character and homework is good for your soul.
@MFJohnston wrote:

@DanteScheduler
Irene is exactly right on this. While having a little bit of a "thick skin" is important as adults, we also, as adults, have to demand a certain level of decorum of ourselves and those who share public spaces with us. We've gone too far and need to self-correct. In many ways, this forum is the closest thing that mystery shoppers have to a professional community. If we can't present ourselves as professional, how can we demand to be treated as such by the companies that provide us work?

I don't know, I guess I look at I differently. I've never cared what people think of me. It's a case of "mind over matter" with me, when someone says something that they believe will hit a nerve or hurt me:

Mind over Matter= I don't mind because you don't matter.

Arguing with fools is like playing chess with a pigeon...
...No matter how good you are, the pigeon will s@^t on the board and strut around like it won anyway.

Not scheduling for ANY company.
@DanteScheduler
Do you believe that bullying is real and a problem? Or do you believe that people in the workplace, in public, etc. should just shrug off cruelty? Should we deal with folks who degrade their employees? Bosses who harass their female employees? All of these things can happen online as well - and I would suggest are no more acceptable. People have been degraded on this forum. When this happens, we don't simply tell the victim of degradation "you need thicker skin." This enables a bully. Rather, we correct the bully's behavior.

While I agree with the sentiment that the bully's behavior reflects poorly on the bully, I don't agree that we should allow the bully to continue to have open game on the victim. Perhaps you've got thicker skin than most folks. I generally do as well. However, not everybody handles it that way. Some of this has been very apparent in the news recently. This forum is meant to be a place where shoppers can safely go with their questions, to seek out better understanding of the business, commiserate, etc. It can no longer serve said purpose if folks do not feel safe.

Hard work builds character and homework is good for your soul.
It seems 'veteran' posters on forums sometimes like to protect their 'territory'. If they see a new person entering the forum, they go into 'passive aggressive' bully mode. They try to make the new person feel unwelcome with unpleasantness.

One of the tools in the arsenal of these bullys is to call the new guy a 'bully'.

Eventually, however, these bullys understand that they can't drive away every new comer. And the bullying cycle ends. And there is no more trouble.

Let's be positive. Life is too short for silliness!
But that is not what is happening here, that is not the case. There is a new poster who is manipulating their way throughout this forum with anecdotes that are meant to harm that do not actually have to do with shopping and that is what is being addressed. The origination cannot be ignored for seeing what it has become.
@MFJohnston wrote:

@DanteScheduler
Do you believe that bullying is real and a problem? Or do you believe that people in the workplace, in public, etc. should just shrug off cruelty? Should we deal with folks who degrade their employees? Bosses who harass their female employees? All of these things can happen online as well - and I would suggest are no more acceptable. People have been degraded on this forum. When this happens, we don't simply tell the victim of degradation "you need thicker skin." This enables a bully. Rather, we correct the bully's behavior.

While I agree with the sentiment that the bully's behavior reflects poorly on the bully, I don't agree that we should allow the bully to continue to have open game on the victim. Perhaps you've got thicker skin than most folks. I generally do as well. However, not everybody handles it that way. Some of this has been very apparent in the news recently. This forum is meant to be a place where shoppers can safely go with their questions, to seek out better understanding of the business, commiserate, etc. It can no longer serve said purpose if folks do not feel safe.

Big difference. Harassment in the workplace is in a place where you need to be, so that is harassment. This is the internet, so you are choosing to put up with harassment/abusive behavior. The person harassing wins because you react to them. If you leave, they still win; you reacted. If you ignore them, you win, because eventually they get tired of not getting any reaction and they move on.

Arguing with fools is like playing chess with a pigeon...
...No matter how good you are, the pigeon will s@^t on the board and strut around like it won anyway.

Not scheduling for ANY company.


Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 01/10/2018 06:59PM by DanteScheduler.
Sorry, I've ignored and it hasn't gone away.....your ideas are good in written words, not in reality. Actually bullying or lies about a shopper is harassment, and they have Internet laws about it that I'm looking into if this continues.
Moderaters are on lookout, they can easily put an end to it. Look what's going on in the world with harassment this is not acceptable and believe me ,I am tough when needed, but shouldn't need to be on a worker's forum.

Create a life that feels good on the inside, not one that just looks good on the outside.....
Dr. Judith Wright
But it's not a new poster. It's an old forum member who pulled so much crap awhile back that they had to leave the forum and create a new name to start over with....unfortunately it's much of the same crap that they did the last time they were a forum member. And I am sure that once they have alienated everyone all over again, they will reincarnate under a new name. It's old and boring. I am not interested in anything that person has to say because usually it has nothing to do with mystery shopping, no shared experiences of shops, and no positive contributions, always something nasty or controversial in an attempt to get the forum in an uproar. It's old hat and boring tactics that I want no part of.

@spicy1 wrote:

But that is not what is happening here, that is not the case. There is a new poster who is manipulating their way throughout this forum with anecdotes that are meant to harm that do not actually have to do with shopping and that is what is being addressed. The origination cannot be ignored for seeing what it has become.
Let's stop. I've reported Catnap's post.

Catnap: The wording of your post itself was analytical in expression, but it was clearly referring to what's been going on here and there was not any secret to whom you were referring. There was no way that it was not going to stir things up.

Hard work builds character and homework is good for your soul.
@JAS...right on, yes this is an old poster, re-invented with a new name to continue the bangering and definitely has never contributed to a shopping experience, just continues to make new threads (Felons, what do you drink etc). Never positive shopping experiences, actually called my scheduler a "newbie" (not knowing her), and tried to close down the Kudo's thread...how and why do they allow them to return under another alias. There must be a way to control this...it is getting old and boring. #Trying to make it better.

Create a life that feels good on the inside, not one that just looks good on the outside.....
Dr. Judith Wright
@spicy1 wrote:

But that is not what is happening here, that is not the case. There is a new poster who is manipulating their way throughout this forum with anecdotes that are meant to harm that do not actually have to do with shopping and that is what is being addressed. The origination cannot be ignored for seeing what it has become.
New in the sense of a new name, having posted under another name to continue the trouble.

Create a life that feels good on the inside, not one that just looks good on the outside.....
Dr. Judith Wright
@Catnap wrote:

It seems 'veteran' posters on forums sometimes like to protect their 'territory'. If they see a new person entering the forum, they go into 'passive aggressive' bully mode. They try to make the new person feel unwelcome with unpleasantness.

One of the tools in the arsenal of these bullys is to call the new guy a 'bully'.

Eventually, however, these bullys understand that they can't drive away every new comer. And the bullying cycle ends. And there is no more trouble.

Let's be positive. Life is too short for silliness!
reported

Create a life that feels good on the inside, not one that just looks good on the outside.....
Dr. Judith Wright
Report and ignore.

At some point, if the same person keeps getting reported for actual issues (not nonsense), the mods will have that person removed - whether a new member or an old one. The forum can also block IP addresses. So, if, in fact a person comes back with a different name and needs to be removed again, the site owner can look up the IP address and block it.

Nobody here can control another. We can only control our own responses. The question is: Are we going to respond as a professional, or are we going to go down a dark hole?

Hard work builds character and homework is good for your soul.
@DanteScheduler
While I agree that folks can just walk away from here, that attitude just enables those who would bully other to participate in the forum while potentially chasing away good folks. If this forum is meant as a resource for folks to learn about mystery shopping, it is undermined if it fosters a culture of cruelty.

Hard work builds character and homework is good for your soul.
@MFJohnston wrote:

it was clearly referring to what's been going on here and there was not any secret to whom you were referring.

I hope you have reported the other posts which 'there was not any secret to whom they were referring to'. Moreover, containing blatant lies about that same person to paint them in negative light.
Catnap -
I will report any post I believe out-of-line in which the mods agree. I believe that I have been pretty consistent that way. No, I am not picking on you or anybody else. I do not consider anybody on this board a "friend" as I have never met or conversed with anybody here outside of this forum. I do, however, prefer to have friendly communication with everyone. I am simply tired of reading the sophomoric nonsense. Nothing is stopping you or anybody else from reporting issues as well.

My preference, of course, is that folks simply act like adults.

Hard work builds character and homework is good for your soul.


Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 01/10/2018 08:44PM by MFJohnston.
IMO the word "bully" should be off limits if "troll" is. It's another flaming technique designed to get forumers upset.

I enjoy awkward questions and uncomfortable silences. This gas station pavement is $%^@*#& hot.
@Catnap wrote:

It seems 'veteran' posters on forums sometimes like to protect their 'territory'. If they see a new person entering the forum, they go into 'passive aggressive' bully mode. They try to make the new person feel unwelcome with unpleasantness.
I have never, ever felt unwelcome by the "veteran" posters, as you put it. True, while it shows 7 years near my name, I have only truly been involved actively with the Forum for about 2 years. I have gotten so much helpful information and encouragement, I couldn't begin to list it. Do I agree with every thought put out by posters, veteran or otherwise? Of course not! But I never try to start any issues, either. It's been pointed out to me when my viewpoint may need re--thinking. I've been thanked for some of my posts. I have never, ever felt bullied.
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