I have been mystery shopping for three years now. The majority of the mystery shops that I have performed did not require lengthy narratives. I am somewhat intimidated with assignments that require a narrative that describe a shop from start to finish. I am finding out that I am limiting myself to the type of shops that I can do.

I could really use some input from seasoned mystery shoppers. Are there any tips or hints that you could share about writing a good narrative. Some areas that I need help on I have listed below.

Do you use the employee's first name in your narrative? Or do you simply refer to the employee as the associate? Is the word associate capitalized in the narrative?

When giving the description of an employee..do you refer to race?

How often do you use direct quotes in your narrative?

When describing your impressions regarding service or quality of food..how do you do so in an objective way? These type of questions seem like they require a subjective answer to me.

Do you break down your narratives into paragraphs?

How do you end your narrative? Do you tie the whole narrative up with a closing type of paragraph?

Any advice would be greatly appreciated!

Great questions!

Do you use the employee's first name in your narrative? Or do you simply refer to the employee as the associate? Is the word associate capitalized in the narrative?

Sometimes the MSC requests either way but if they don't then I always use the name once I know it. I don't capitalize "associate."



When giving the description of an employee..do you refer to race?

This is another one that goes by the MSC's request. If they request it, I give it. If it's not requested, I feel it's generally accepted that it not be given.



How often do you use direct quotes in your narrative?

I use them as often as I can and as often as I have them.


When describing your impressions regarding service or quality of food..how do you do so in an objective way? These type of questions seem like they require a subjective answer to me.

Initially I go by the standards that the restaurant sets, if there are any in the guidelines. If there aren't then I consider this a subjective part of the narrative and give my personal impression. Never been an issue.


Do you break down your narratives into paragraphs?

Yup! Paragraph breaks where necessary. Make it readable as though it were an article.


How do you end your narrative? Do you tie the whole narrative up with a closing type of paragraph?

I generally don't. It's supposed to be chronological so I give them a chronological breakdown from beginning to end and when I walk out, that's the end.

"Do you use the employee's first name in your narrative? Or do you simply refer to the employee as the associate? Is the word associate capitalized in the narrative?"

The shop guidelines and report will set the parameters. Some will want you to use their name, others just a generic Associate/employee. Pay attention to the questions to see if they capitalize it. The guidelines for the shop will have a sample; also the questions will give you a clue as to what to call them

"When giving the description of an employee. Do you refer to race?"
Never. Again the guidelines will tell you how they want the employee described.

"How often do you use direct quotes in your narrative?"
When the report dictates a direct quote must be used. Also if the employee makes a comment that affects the focus of the shop.


"Do you break down your narratives into paragraphs?"
Definitely. Actually, what I do is copy the report into a Word document, keeping it as text only, then shape my narrative around the questions. I change the questions to statements of fact, using the verbiage from the report, and include any other facts that relate. I arrange them in the proper flow of the shop but by using all the questions in the report, nothing is left out.

"How do you end your narrative? Do you tie the whole narrative up with a closing type of paragraph?"
I make a summary paragraph highlighting on the main sections of the report and state whether I would return.

starrynight Wrote:
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> Do you use the employee's first name in your
> narrative? Or do you simply refer to the employee
> as the associate? Is the word associate
> capitalized in the narrative?

If it's on their nametag or they tell me their name, I use it throughout in the narrative. I don't capitalize their titles (e.g., manager, associate, clerk, employee, vendor).

> When giving the description of an employee..do you
> refer to race?

I never refer to race unless the MSC specifically says I must in the narrative. Usually, the guidelines will tell you how to describe someone.

> How often do you use direct quotes in your
> narrative?

I use direct quotes only for the greeting and farewell for each individual with whom I have an interaction. I do this with all my reports for all MSCs I work for and have never been told I needed to add more quotes.

> When describing your impressions regarding service
> or quality of food..how do you do so in an
> objective way?

You only report what you directly observe and experience and it has to be relevant to the shop. It would help if you read examples of subjective vs objective narratives. For example, "I think the chef used too much salt on the mac and cheese," is subjective because I have no clue what happened in the kitchen or how the food was prepared but "The mac and cheese was saltier than expected" or "The mac and cheese was salty," is my own objective observation after I tasted the food.

For example, at a sandwich shop yesterday I watched an employee drop the contents of a sandwich on the floor because it appeared to me that she was distractedly flirting with a model-esque type guy in line behind me. But I simply reported that she dropped the contents of the sandwich while she was speaking with a customer because that is what happened. The rest of it was subjective and irrelevant (and just my opinion).

> Do you break down your narratives into
> paragraphs?

Short paragraphs of two to four sentences are easier to read.

> How do you end your narrative? Do you tie the
> whole narrative up with a closing type of
> paragraph?

I start most of my narratives with, "I entered XXX at 11:38 AM on Friday, March 7, 2014." I end it with, "I departed [exited] XXX at 12:15 PM." Everything in between is chronological and generally linear.

I suggest that the next time you enter a store, you look at your watch and start a mental narrative - "I walked in at [time]. I was greeted by ... who said, "Howdy," ... I went to the restroom ... The store aisles were cluttered" and so on. It becomes an easy linear process after awhile.

"The mac and cheese was saltier than expected" or "The mac and cheese was salty," is my own objective observation after I tasted the food.

If someone else can say that the mac and cheese wasn't salty enough (for their own taste) then you're still talking subjectively, but yeah, it's totally different than saying that the chef used too much salt because THAT is an objective statement that you don't know to be true.

The way you would write that is the same as I would, but it's still technically subjective.

Unfortunately the guidelines and report do not always make it clear what they would like. Because I referred to an associate the same way as the sample narrative my report was marked down. The sample used their title and I was supposed to use the name. That said, good samples have allowed me to consistently get 10s from some companies.

You guys and gals are the best!

Thank you so much for the tips and advice..this is exactly the type of information that I was looking for. I think that having this feedback will assist me in attempting a shop that requires a more in depth narrative.

I do have one other question regarding narratives. If there is a number to be written into the narrative..do you write out the word (three items)..or just simply use the number (3 items)?

Thank you again everyone for the feedback!

I go back and forth on that one. I think I usually just write the number. Thing is, with a lot of that stuff you don't really know if the editor is changing it to what they want cuz they don't tell you.

I think the most important part of writing any narrative is making it an interesting read. The mechanics are also important but you don't want it to read like a textbook or the reader will fall asleep.

I've read that if the number is ten or less, you write the word; above that, you write the number.

(heart)

stilllearning Wrote:
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> I've read that if the number is ten or less, you
> write the word; above that, you write the number.
>
> (heart)


I'd never heard that before. Thanks for the tip.

Just don't mix them! If you use the number once, use numbers throughout the narrative. If you write it out, write it out throughout the narrative.

Numbers from one to ten should be spelled out. If an editors tells me anything different, I will suggest they take another look at grammar rules.

Numbers over ten should be spelled out if they are the first word. I hate the shop that require you to use capitalization foqqr words that shouldn't be capitalized such as manager or server. I always prefer it when there's some sample narrative given or guidelines about how much text should be given response to each question.