When I have a party I put out things I have on a special table for friends to take that I have acquired somewhere through my life including mystery shopping. I have several friends that come to my semi annual parties who lost their jobs in the long ago recession of 2008 and still are un or underemployed.
Many of the items I might get for free but they do not have access to even the free stuff I get from vendors at work any more. They really enjoy what I call my work swag and would not have paid to get them on their own. They look forward now to my "table". However, I do not consider giving to or doing things for friends and family to be "volunteering". For me that is a selfless act to a stranger.

i had about 400 mince pies after one mystery shop round and gave them to a local charity no way could ieven dream of eating close to that many and friends and family were getting fed up of being fed them

Quote from above: "Being deluded into thinking that throwing a sinking person a bag of creme filled cupcakes is helping that individual is absolute absurdity in it's most perverse form. Do you think that at least giving a needful person something no matter what the consequences of that person partaking of that gift makes your giving a commendable act? "

This statement just makes me sad. How judgmental it is to think giving is only commendable if it meets one individual's criteria! Giving is giving. If a gift is given by someone who wants to give and it is accepted by someone who wants the gift, who's to say either is "deluded?" Some people who can afford to buy their own food actually pay money for bags of creme filled cupcakes and think the crappy cupcakes are wonderful. Some people who cannot afford to buy their own food - including crappy creme filled cupcakes - might also think they are wonderful. And whether the crappy creme filled cupcake gift is eaten and appreciated or whether the receiver throws it away, I think the act of giving is commendable.

Can an act of giving have undesirable results? Yes. Can an act of NOT giving have undesirable results? Yes. Can you say what you got to say? I don't get your point.

That's because there was no point, just a pointless ramble.

I donate shop goodies to a small food bank, no-kill animal shelter, a home for abused women with children, and I stock up all year and donate to angel trees at Christmas. Groceries, toiletries, pet food and bedding, Aeropostale/Hollister/Abercrombie/Goodwill/Rack Room/Ace Hardware required purchases, gift cards from Anna's Linens.

I don't get a lot of stuff to give away while mystery shopping. Usually, if I have to purchase something I get something the family will use. But after reading about how many homeless Veterans there are I have made a point to look for more opportunities to give to the homeless. While doing a shop a few weeks back in the pouring rain, there was a homeless man sitting under the awning of the store. He asked for a cigarette and I don't smoke. I went in and did my shop and when I came out he was still there. I went into the tobacco store next door and bought him cigarettes, a drink, a candy bar and a sandwich. I didn't know his story and at that moment all I saw was a man in need. It wasn't healthy and the cigarettes weren't good for him. But for a brief moment I saw a twinkle in his eye. That was all that mattered.

A little off point but I'll share anyway. We had a neighbor who was 90 years old. She was a pampered woman all her life. At 12 my son became her helper. He wasn't paid. If a pine cone fell she would call because she was afraid she would trip over it. She would drop a pen and call because she couldn't see to pick it up. He averaged 2-4 calls a day from this lady. One day I asked why didn't he tell her he had plans and he said that he helped her because one day he wanted someone to help me if I needed it. He knew that she wouldn't rest until whatever the small issue was had been taken care of. He helped her for six years. She passed away shortly after he left for college.

Thanks for sharing.

Re: giving away food that I have taken a bite of, I have seen homeless people digging through the trash in search of half eaten sandwiches, and yes, eating them if they find them. I think that is more demeaning than being offered a burger and fries that hasn't been sitting in a rat and roach infested New York City trash can, with the explanation that I took a bite out of the burger and asking if they would like it anyways. No one has ever turned me down. Hungry is hungry.
And a cup of hot coffee that someone has taken a sip of, is better than nothing to warm your hands with when sitting outside in the cold.

I give away my Arch food too. Only ever been turned down once, by a gentleman who very politely asked if the food contained pork. I told him the food itself didn't, but that I don't know what kind of oil Arch uses for its fries. Then I gave him five bucks and told him there was an Arby's two blocks up and that, having worked at Arby's, I could say with confidence it would be a pork-free meal. I figured he was Jewish or Muslim and afraid of breaking kosher or halal. If you're so devout you'd rather go hungry than risk eating a forbidden food, I'm not going to be the one saying "well, suffer then."

I'm in Houston and I agree with AustinMom, by the way. The homeless here are happy to accept FF, but they. Are. EVERYWHERE. Veterans, Katrina victims still looking for a way back to New Orleans, and several "lost job hungry kids please help." I've given bags of groceries to those folks more times than I can count. Thanks, Governor Perry.

Good for him or not, you gave that guy some pleasure and contentment for at least a little while.

Also, what a phenomenally fantastic son you raised.



gogogirl Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I don't get a lot of stuff to give away while
> mystery shopping. Usually, if I have to purchase
> something I get something the family will use.
> But after reading about how many homeless Veterans
> there are I have made a point to look for more
> opportunities to give to the homeless. While
> doing a shop a few weeks back in the pouring rain,
> there was a homeless man sitting under the awning
> of the store. He asked for a cigarette and I
> don't smoke. I went in and did my shop and when I
> came out he was still there. I went into the
> tobacco store next door and bought him cigarettes,
> a drink, a candy bar and a sandwich. I didn't
> know his story and at that moment all I saw was a
> man in need. It wasn't healthy and the cigarettes
> weren't good for him. But for a brief moment I
> saw a twinkle in his eye. That was all that
> mattered.
>
> A little off point but I'll share anyway. We had
> a neighbor who was 90 years old. She was a
> pampered woman all her life. At 12 my son became
> her helper. He wasn't paid. If a pine cone fell
> she would call because she was afraid she would
> trip over it. She would drop a pen and call
> because she couldn't see to pick it up. He
> averaged 2-4 calls a day from this lady. One day
> I asked why didn't he tell her he had plans and he
> said that he helped her because one day he wanted
> someone to help me if I needed it. He knew that
> she wouldn't rest until whatever the small issue
> was had been taken care of. He helped her for six
> years. She passed away shortly after he left for
> college.

I had signed up to provide dinner for my church's P.A.D.S. night. I used my GFS purchase to buy some of the items I needed. I love when circumstances work out like that!
There are a very few places here that will take unwrapped, cooked food. We are fortunate to have a shelter that will take ANY leftovers. That really comes in handy when you're trying to figure out what to do with the full pan of mostaccioli leftover from a party.

StormCloud Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Good for him or not, you gave that guy some
> pleasure and contentment for at least a little
> while.
>
> Also, what a phenomenally fantastic son you
> raised.
>
>
>
Thank you very much.

I don't want to rain on anyone's parade, but I don't think you all understood what I was getting at.

Giving something (like cigarettes) to someone might make you feel good... but most (not all) homeless people will take something like that and sell it so they can buy alcohol. Take it from someone who has spent enough time working/living with others who have worked in homeless shelters for many years.

Definitely give them food (even cupcakes) if they will take it. Definitely give them a blanket, sleeping bag, coat, rain gear, or clothing if they will take it. But... if you can... donate to a shelter. Especially if you can find a shelter that actually helps these people to solve the underlying emotional/psychological/employment issues that cause their homelessness in the first place.

The problem with that suggestion, Barnabas, is that shelters reach only a fraction of the unhomed. My hometown has a total of 40 beds for the unhomed. The official population is 103,000 and change. You can imagine how many homeless folks there are.

For that matter, come on down here to Houston. Some of the folks on the street have signs begging for rides to shelters because while they exist, they're not easily accessible and have poor transportation outreach. You mean well, but huge groups of people would be left to starve and freeze (or die of hyperthermia) if every generous Houstonian only gave money and goods to Star of Hope instead of offering food, blankets, and cold water to the unhomed we encounter.

This is an interesting thread.

I don't live near an area with homeless people, not that I know of. Part of me wishes I could do that with Arches shops, and I am happy to see that many of you here do. I only take the breakfast shops, since I don't eat hamburgers, and they won't allow salads on lunch or dinner shops.

I do lots of grocery shops, and whatever stays in my pantry for a while and I forget about gets donated to a food bank. I like the toiletry idea some of you have from hotel shops. I'll have to look into that.

Well a homeless man who roamed a local strip mall for, according to the news, over 10 years, was off his meds last week and repeatedly stabbed two elderly men exiting Dunkin Donuts who walked by him..one gentleman died. The attack was unprovoked, so I'll be really cautious in handing out food to any homeless folks in the future. You never know. JMHO.

niteowl Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I was at a Subway once and a customer complained
> that a sandwich was made incorrectly. The employee
> put the sandwich on the back counter and made a
> new one. I asked the employee what they do with
> sandwiches like that and they said they
> refrigerate them and hand them out whenever a
> homeless person walks in asking for food. Not sure
> if all Subways do this, but I thought it was
> cool.
>

I can definetely say that this is not the norm for all subways, My local subway tosses them in the trash. The last time I visited, the manager made my sandwich and was looking at the wall while she grabbed the oil twice, squirted on the sandwich then topped that with trippled the vinegar, she then asked if I wanted her to remake it, I said YES! She picked the sandwich up walked it to the trash can dripping all the way.... recently i saw the same person working at the local convience store......

When I worked at McD's as a teenager in the late 80s, they threw out tons of food. Back then the sandwiches weren't made to order, so after 10 minutes of sitting in the heated chute, they were tossed in a special trash can. Then the manager would count how many sandwiches were in the can, and then disposed of. They never gave away this food. I always thought this was a huge waste.

My mom used to work for a donut place that, each new morning, would round up all of yesterday's donuts and put them in boxes of a dozen for half-price. Whatever didn't sell by 10am then got taken to the local shelter.

They did this until someone at the shelter claimed they'd gotten terribly ill and required hospitalization due to a day-old donut, and tried to sue the donut company (it was just a small local chain and such a lawsuit would have destroyed them). The suit was, luckily, tossed out, but that was the end of their donations.

I worked for awhile at a gas station that threw out all its past-date stuff and overripe fruit. My boss at one location was a Gorgon who actually used to examine trash bags to make sure employees weren't sneaking out cigarettes and beer without paying, but my second boss after Gorgon got fired was totally awesome and used to let us DISCREETLY remove past-sell-by stuff from the store after it was written off on the basis of "on the wages you make, at the profits the company makes, we can spare you a bunch of overripe bananas and a gallon of milk." It was understood that anything we took was at our own risk; most of us used the opportunity of not-quite-fresh bread and still-good-for-a-week eggs and milk to make stuff like French toast and banana bread and then share it with the rest of the store and our transient customers.

Nina beat me to the punch. I also worked at McD's when I was 16, and they threw out the food all the time. When I inquired as to why, I was told they cannot take the liability of giving food to the homeless and one of them getting ill stating it was from the restaurant.

Yes, it is a huge waste, but is an unfortunate consequence brought on by our over-litigious society.

I've actually thought of a way to win both ways (no frivolous lawsuits AND that food can be used), but no company I work for has actually taken me up on it yet. You print up a form like this:


[name of company] is committed to providing high-quality products. However, product beyond the intended street date cannot be guaranteed. I, [name of recipient], agree not to hold [company] responsible for any injury resulting from consumption of donated products. This waiver may be rescinded by [recipient] at any time for any reason; however, decision to discontinue the waiver will result in [company] being unable to donate any further products to [recipient].

Signed,

[signature of recipient] [date]


I'm pretty sure most homeless folks would be happy to sign such a waiver in order to get lunch. 99% of the food we threw out at my gas station was perfectly edible and just happened to be past the sell-by date; I mentioned how often we took home past-date stuff. Nobody ever got sick. Had the company asked me to sign such a waiver, I would have done so happily.


The problem is, [recipient] can't be assumed to have any common sense. When I took home past-date milk, the first thing I did was to open and smell it. If it smelled off, down the sink it went. If it smelled good, the second thing I did was put a post-it note on the container: USE IN THREE DAYS. Then I put it in the fridge and my mom would make a cream-based soup for dinner the next day. But these days you can't assume that [recipient] would bother smelling the milk before chugging it, or that they'd know they'd be best served by using it within 72 hours (even if you tell them so!).

Or as my grampa says: Whoever named it "common sense" hadn't any, or they wouldn't have called it that.

I'm aware that homeless shelters don't have enough beds. But they also give donated stuff to homeless people even if they don't have a bed for that person. We have lots of homeless people in Florida. They come here from all over the country to get away from the cold winters. If you must sleep outdoors, it's better to do it in a warm place.

I don't have a problem giving a homeless person food or (non-alcoholic) drink. Helping them stay warm is OK too. But giving them things that they will probably sell for alcohol/drugs is a bad idea.

I hate to say it, but that's also a bit of perpetuating a myth on your part. There are many homeless folks who might sell those possessions for food, but the old "all homeless people do drugs or are mentally ill or both" has long since been disproven.

I didn't say all, I said most. I base this on what I've been told by people who actually work in homeless shelters. I should also qualify that by saying that most single homeless people have drug/alcohol/psychological issues. Most homeless families don't. Homeless families usually need help/training to get a job that pays a living wage.

Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 04/23/2014 07:19PM by barnabas1969.

I respectfully disagree, based on work I used to do with a homeless-outreach group in my hometown. About half our people had substance-abuse problems; in most of those cases it was alcohol. There wasn't much spare cash in town to gift to those less fortunate to start with, but those who did manage to pick up nicer items--old Army coats were practically worth gold--held onto them.

Demographics may change from place to place, but here is a thing that helps a lot: not leaving the unhomed alone. When placed in isolation, the mind turns on itself; hence abuse issues (and also why leaving people in solitary confinement is considered torture). Unhomed folks who still have a community are far more likely to be able to re-enter homed society and gainful employment (or safety-net disability, as appropriate). You do that homeless fellow on the corner a much bigger favor by stopping by with a plate of hot food, a book, and ten minutes' conversation than by driving by and assuming the shelter will help him.

Bearclaw14 Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Nina beat me to the punch. I also worked at McD's
> when I was 16, and they threw out the food all the
> time. When I inquired as to why, I was told they
> cannot take the liability of giving food to the
> homeless and one of them getting ill stating it
> was from the restaurant.
>
> Yes, it is a huge waste, but is an unfortunate
> consequence brought on by our over-litigious
> society.
This is what I have been told also. If getting more than one portion of food the rest is left out without refrigeration. If someone should get ill they can sue the place that gave it to them even though the food may have been good when they received it. Suing is big business in my state of California. Even at the hospital where I work it is now not allowed to bring food in from the outside for meetings etc except from approved vendors for the same reason. Most people seem to ignore this rule though. Costco used to give all their opened and returned packages (non food items) to charities. My kids high school was a recipient for several years and our parent support group had monthly yard sales to benefit the school. We told everyone the items were as is. Then one day the stream of nice things stopped coming our way. We found out that across the country there were recipients of the donated items that were calling the manufacturers and telling them they bought the items at Costco and various parts were missing and asked to be sent the missing pieces. Some of the manufacturers were not happy and told Costco they had to crush and destroy all that was brought back by customers rather than give it away. Most of what we got for our school was in perfect or almost perfect condition just without the original packaging intact and we had raised thousands of dollars for the school for needed extras. It is unfortunate that a few people acting unethically can change the whole landscape for everyone this way.

Happily, sane places DO still exist, and--sorry, gonna brag--I think Millennials are more aware of how ludicrous this is than most people. We graduated in a recession and we've watched the rise of the Internet age coincident with the fall of the American Dream as we once knew it. Many of us either know homeless people (me) or have been homeless (also me) or have been close enough to homeless to be frightened by it (do I win anything yet?).


Wait fifteen years. Everything will change as a wave of angry, Internet-savvy people start taking over, and it's going to involve outrage about all the unnecessary waste.

There have been something like six recessions since 1960. Since this may be the first time millenials (whatever and whoever that is) have lived through one it makes sense they would think they have a heightened awareness

Well, this is also supposed to be the worst one since the Great Depression, which I'd totally believe. I'm a not-quite-college-graduate (long story) trying to find a job that will pay for an apartment and phone bill. That's it--I'll get a bicycle if I have to, I can use wifi at Starbucks and McDonald's for the price of a cup of coffee (and if you know how to Starbucks, it's about the same there as at McDs), and I grew up on mac and cheese and government pork--I'm not thrilled about going back to poorhouse food, but needs must.

You know what JUST THAT--just a basic apartment and phone bill--is going to run? I'd need to make about $20/hr.

Do you know what's open to me? $13/hr.

And my student loans come due in July.

I'm going to have to get a second job, which means slave hours just for a one-room apartment--no car, no TV, no Internet, just barely enough money to cover my allergy meds. If I'm lucky, I'll be able to pull in enough on shops to at least keep from going into default on my loans.

My generation en masse is tired of this garbage. That is why things are going to change.