update...just got this a few minutes ago from one desperate scheduler who is begging/pleading for someone with a death wish...
"Looking To Maintain Your Summer Glow? Spray Tan Or Bed Tan At Popular Tanning Salon! We'll Pay For IT!"
i tried on many platforms to use a "strikethrough" on the above but i've been stymied/thwarted so here is my fix...
Q: "LOOKING TO MAINTAIN YOUR SUMMER GLOW?"
A: "THE GLOW FROM THE RADIATION TREATMENTS YOU'RE GONNA NEED FADES AFTER ABOUT
SIX/EIGHT MONTHS.
Q: "SPRAY TAN OR BED TAN AT POPULAR TANNING SALON?"
A: "PICK YOUR POISON. CHEMICALS BEING ABSORBED THROUGH THE SKIN OR...Exposure to UV
radiation—whether from the sun or from artificial sources such as sunlamps used in tanning beds—increases
the risk of developing skin cancer, according to the National Cancer Institute (NCI)".
and finally (wait for it)...
"WE'LL PAY FOR IT ALONG WITH A FULLY-REIMBURSED PROSTHETIC NOSE CUZ YOU'RE NOSE IS GONNA FALL OFF FROM THE RADIATION YOU'LL NEED. THE WIG YOU'LL NEED CUZ THE RADIATION WILL CAUSE EVERY STRAND OF BODY HAIR TO FALL OFF IS ALSO NON-REIMBURSABLE. BUT, ON THE UPSIDE, WEIGHT LOSS MIGHT BE A BLESSING FOR SOME FOLKS? THE COFFIN THAT YOU'RE GONNA NEED WILL NOT, REPEAT WILL NOT BE REIMBURSED. THE CC (COFFIN COST) MIGHT BE TAX DEDUCTIBLE I SUGGEST DISCUSSING THIS WITH A TAX PROFESSIONAL.
there, scheduler, i fixed it for you.