Tipping

I give 20% for good service, but probably shouldn't as they don't do as much as a regular server does. Might lower that.

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I travel quite a bit and am always pleased to find countries like Japan, Australia and New Zealand where tipping is not required nor expected. The argument for tipping in the U.S. is often that it is necessary to reward and promote good service. However I have never had a problem with good service in those countries where tipping is not expected. Of course those countries also pay a decent wage to begin with.
@PaulinMI wrote:


Also, I'm not sure why some shoppers feel like they don't have to tip if it is not reimbursed. Not trying to throw shade at anyone, but my reasoning is that if I was going to eat there on my own dime, I would be tipping out of my own earnings. If I am shopping and have to use a few bucks of my own out of the earnings I am getting from the shop, seems like the same to me.

PaulinM I am not sure if you are referring to my comment about not being reimbursed for my tip up to the max. I did not read anyone saying they only left a tip up to the reimbursement. In fact there were shoppers who said they left a tip up to the max reimbursement even if it was a larger tip then they would normally leave. In my case I was saying I should have been reimbursed up to the max reimbursement taking into account the tip I added. My tip was very generous in my mind considering it was for one minute of work. In my city the restaurant workers earn a full wage with benefits if they work over 30 hours a week and many of them do. Wages are set by the state. They earn the same or more than the person who walks into the back to get your dry cleaning or the salesperson in a small retail store many of whom get no tips. That is why it is important to have the minimum wage be consistent with a wage that is livable.
No @sandyf, I wasn't referring to your post in particular, but others I seen over the years where shoppers would deny tips if they weren't reimbursed. From you comments, it sounds like we are pretty much of the same mindset. I support living wages for all employees. The tipping culture we live in is just based on caveats to business owners who don't want to pay workers during off hours, and can't operate a business or find reliable workers to just show up during common meal periods. I also appreciate the system in other countries where wages are set and tipping is not required or expected. Just another reason for all who do not like the way things are to exercise their voting rights and work to elect representatives who support their personal views.

proudly shopping in the D.
How about hotel housekeeping and people who run items to your room? I always tip generously to housekeeping especially, since they have to handle some pretty gross stuff at times I am sure. I also am sympathetic to the fact that often with housekeeping it's the best job they can get on a limited education or perhaps ESL difficulties, or perhaps they are down on their luck for other reasons. And often with jobs where we are tipping and employers are not providing proper hourly compensation, these people have families with limited income and there are nearly always children involved.
I'm sorry but I just can't get behind tipping because I feel sorry for someone's possible circumstances.
I do not tip hotel housekeepers. They are not pad less than minimum wage. Should I also tip the cashier at Dollar General that's probably making about the same as the housekeeper in my hotel? Heck, at least they are providing a direct service to me. There's a bigger argument that they should get tipped for being friendly.

There are reasons that a body stays in motion
At the moment only demons come to mind
Yes @JASFLALMT, while I don't do a lot of traveling these days, tipping the housekeeping was always a wise move in my mind. I was specifically talking about food service workers. I also tip my paper carrier monthly, (yes, I still get a paper newspaper) my barber, and always my bartender.

proudly shopping in the D.
Does the person at Dollar General deal with your and you and someone else's body fluids? Maybe some kid pukes in an aisle here and there, or they have to clean a restroom sometimes, but a housekeeper at a hotel has to do room after room after room after room...ugh. You should at least give a buck or some change. And, hotel staff on that level make a pittance--and then many people are like you and don't tip a dime. I would never thought I had to even tell someone like you, Griffy--but that's cheap.
I guess so. I sometimes do too, shop at DG. It's not a horrible place (though they have some horrible locations for some stores). But that's not the point. Griffy's comparison between the job types is like comparing apples and oranges, and like so many other posts in this thread, makes no sense.

And I do feel for people's circumstances and give money accordingly. Heck, it beats giving money to a Go Fund Me account where funds get misappropriated, or donating money to a entity that says they are non-profit (but who knows where the money really goes).
I, too, would rather give money to people who I encounter in my day to day life, whether that is a server or a housekeeper...or a friend or a person I took a class with....whatever. I know then that the money is going to where I want it to go and not being misappropriated, just like JAS said.

I worked in a hotel a few years ago as a manager. The owner of the hotel would do some really shady crap; She told me that when I saw the housekeepers sitting down for their lunch break, to clock them out. She shorted many paychecks. People would come to me and ask why their paychecks were so short, and I would tell them that they needed to start to make copies of their time sheets. At the end of a pay period, I started to make copies of everyone's time sheets and I would hand them out to the employees. My boss was furious when she found out. She told me to not make the copies for the employees anymore (because she often shorted them an hour or two of pay a day....occasionally a whole day in a time period). I started to tell the employees to come behind the front desk at the end of pay periods and make copies of their own time sheets. The owner would restrict them and tell them that they had no business near the copy machine.

The owner would have me follow housekeepers around and "find" all of the things that they did not do. I was then supposed to make notes about things and I did do that, because I thought that some training would be in order. Come to find out, instead of training, the housekeepers' pay got docked.

So I quit the job. And a few months later, the owner lost the hotel to foreclosure. Poetic justice.

Having said that, I always tip housekeepers, because I feel like they may be too shy, too desperate for a job, or not knowledgeable enough to catch if their pay is not what it should be. But that's not the only reason. They also clean up after myself and my four kids....yuck.
@JASFLALMT wrote:

I guess so. I sometimes do too, shop at DG. It's not a horrible place (though they have some horrible locations for some stores). But that's not the point. Griffy's comparison between the job types is like comparing apples and oranges, and like some other posts in this thread, makes no sense.

And I do feel for people's circumstances and give money accordingly. Heck, it beats giving money to a Go Fund Me account where funds get misappropriated, or donating money to a entity that says they are non-profit (but who knows where the money really goes).
So as a former server, I'm gonna say this: you think you deserve great service - whether curbside or dine-in - just because you patronize the establishment where that server works? Nope, all your bill entitles you to is your food. You want someone to ask if your drink needs to be refilled? Tip. You want to be constantly checked up on? Tip You want your food brought out to your car with a smile? The smile isn't free; you better tip for that. 15% for subpar service, more than that for good service. Servers don't get paid the same minimum wage as most other fields. They deal with harassment at a much higher level. They have to play therapist to drunk people. They have to serve people who are looking for any excuse not to tip. They have to deal with people who complain about something as insignificant as ice. They get treated as less than human on a daily basis.

As a side note, I worked at a restaurant doing both curbside and counter that would ban people who didn't tip; I happen to think that's a great practice and wish all restaurants would do that. If you aren't willing and able to leave at least a 20% tip, you don't have any place dining somewhere with servers, curbside pickup or not.

Hustle like you're a middle schooler tryna get a fresh pair of Js
You sound like you think that a server has the power to control menu prices.

@boridi wrote:

You want a 20% tip? Stop charging $12 for a hamburger that I can make at home for $3.
@JASFLALMT, you the realest. Thank you for defending servers; it means more than you could know.

Hustle like you're a middle schooler tryna get a fresh pair of Js
@boridi wrote:

You want a 20% tip? Stop charging $12 for a hamburger that I can make at home for $3.

Thank you for proving my point about people looking for any excuse to avoid tipping.

Hustle like you're a middle schooler tryna get a fresh pair of Js
@JASFLALMT wrote:

You sound like you think that a server has the power to control menu prices.

@boridi wrote:

You want a 20% tip? Stop charging $12 for a hamburger that I can make at home for $3.

They have the power to walk away from a job that doesn't pay well. Just like secret shoppers can refuse unprofitable jobs. Most shops barely pay $12/hr. Not sure why servers deserve multiples of that for something that isn't any more difficult.
In my experience, many people who are in the service industry have delightful personalities and enhance the dining experience. They deserve extra for that. Glad you aren't working in any of the restaurants i visit. Bet you are a regular ray of super sparkly sunshine (not).

Furthermore, if you are only averaging $12 per hour shopping, you are in the wrong line of work. Maybe you should just walk away. And go make yourself a $3 hamburger and enjoy it. All. By. Yourself.

Edited for typing on my phone.

@boridi wrote:

@JASFLALMT wrote:

You sound like you think that a server has the power to control menu prices.

@boridi wrote:

You want a 20% tip? Stop charging $12 for a hamburger that I can make at home for $3.

They have the power to walk away from a job that doesn't pay well. Just like secret shoppers can refuse unprofitable jobs. Most shops barely pay $12/hr. Not sure why servers deserve multiples of that for something that isn't any more difficult.


Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 09/30/2018 10:30PM by JASFLALMT.
@boridi wrote:

@JASFLALMT wrote:

You sound like you think that a server has the power to control menu prices.

@boridi wrote:

You want a 20% tip? Stop charging $12 for a hamburger that I can make at home for $3.

They have the power to walk away from a job that doesn't pay well. Just like secret shoppers can refuse unprofitable jobs. Most shops barely pay $12/hr. Not sure why servers deserve multiples of that for something that isn't any more difficult.

We do NOT have the power to walk away from a job that pays the bills. I have a kid (absent father), student loans, rent, groceries, meds, etc. Idk if it's because I'm stoned or just done with your condescension, but I'm gonna tell you how it is: if you tip a server less than 20%, you aren't doing anything in the way of paying their bills, so you should expect nothing more than your food. Point blank period. If you want us to provide service beyond our job description, you better prove that you find it valuable. Our time is just as valuable as yours; in fact, I'd argue it's more valuable if you have time to bluster on about how you're going to refuse your server an income because of something beyond their control. Servers are out here bending over backwards to serve 8 different tables all with attitudes like yours and all you can do is think about how Scroogey you can be. If you would rather hold on to a few dollars instead of giving your server a living wage, then that tells everyone more about you than you could ever say. The disgust I have towards people like you is extremely real right now.

Hustle like you're a middle schooler tryna get a fresh pair of Js
Meh, don't worry about boridi. Chances are she/he got fired from Waffle House and now hold a grudge against restaurant servers that were able to keep their jobs and make a decent living for themselves and/or their families (not like there is anything wrong with Waffle House).
Being poor means not having choices. If you have no skills, you CANNOT walk away from a server's job. And theoretically, they are (in my state) supposed to be paid minimum wage when they are not serving (i.e., when they are doing their required cleaning, which normally includes mopping, vacuuming, and cleaning the restrooms), the fact is I've SEEN they have to clock out and do the cleaning on their own time. Same thing for the prep work they have to do before their shifts start. They can't afford to complain; they need their jobs.

I've worked in many places which require the servers to split their tips with bussers, dishwashers, etc. I had a waitress come in the kitchen and tell me to vacuum her station so she could leave; I told her I couldn't, and she said "If you can't even vacuum, what the hell are you doing working here? You're just useless garbage!" (I'm totally disabled.)

I've known decent (even great) people who work as servers; I've known some low-lifes who work as servers.

Believe it or not, it's brutal, physical, exhausting work.

I even tip the car hops at Sonic, and you know that's not covered in the reimbursement. It makes me wonder if their employer thinks they don't receive tips. The other day at Sonic, the carhop asked me if I wanted my change! I told her never, never, EVER ask a customer that. And whenever possible to give the change in one dollar bills -- it's a psychology thing, if you hand the customer a lot of ones, that customer momentarily feels wealthy, and is much, much more likely to hand you a dollar or two back.

I'm NOT talking your white linen table cloths and sommelier restaurants, I'm talking about the ordinary places ordinary people go.
As I have said before the ordinary people working in ordinary places in my state are earning as much or more than most mystery shoppers. Yes I know a few of you have figured out how to get the high paying jobs but for most I would bet it works out to a lot less. I worked as a server long ago in a state that paid a special lower wage to servers. I did not make much but all my friends who happened to be a few months older than I was and could work in a place that served drinks earned far more than the regular minimum wage. Yes the job was not easy but since then I have had many other different jobs and none of them were easy. And as for the comment that all you are paying for is the food...that is certainly not true. I am paying to have the food served to me and not thrown at me. I don't know about where the person who said that lives but in my state and every other state I have lived in the server was there to serve, not sit around and spit on people's food. Whether you receive a tip or not your job is to serve. To use an example that LisaStl uses (painters) what if you hired a painting company and paid them $1000 to paint your room. Do you think if you did not give the employee a beer they should just leave the paint and the brush there in the middle of the room for you?
Personally I have no idea how one decides what jobs need a tip. It seems many think every one deserves a tip. When you are in the hospital should you tip the nurse? And if not , why not? How about the teacher? They are also providing a service. And what about the lowly mystery shopper who is getting paid $3-5 for a job that requires them to have a smart phone, computer, know how to use them, a decent car probably and an hour to do that job. If anyone deserves a tip I think we should be on the list.
Sorry Sandy, you can't use my analogy of a painter in this case. A beer or soda is just a gesture of kindness, not something that will pay their bills.

Yes, your state is quite progressive and now guarantees higher server wages. I'm not sure how many states have followed suit, but am willing to bet most of us live in somewhere the servers are still paid a low wage with tips expected to make up the difference. It becomes an apples to oranges comparison.

Equal rights for others does not mean fewer rights for you. It's not pie.
"I prefer someone who burns the flag and then wraps themselves up in the Constitution over someone who burns the Constitution and then wraps themselves up in the flag." -Molly Ivins
Never try to teach a pig to sing. It's a waste of your time and it really annoys the pig.
Oh, and by the way, when we take the baby with us (she's now 1, and VERY well behaved in restaurants!), I ALWAYS leave the server $10 -- even if the total is $25 for us 3 adults!!! Because the baby, although very well behaved, does throw food on the floor and I AIN'T CLEANING IT UP. If the bill is over $25, my tip goes up, up, up.

smiling smiley

And before an editor jumps on me, is it "for we 3 adults"? LOL!!!
@sandyf wrote:

As I have said before the ordinary people working in ordinary places in my state are earning as much or more than most mystery shoppers. Yes I know a few of you have figured out how to get the high paying jobs but for most I would bet it works out to a lot less. I worked as a server long ago in a state that paid a special lower wage to servers. I did not make much but all my friends who happened to be a few months older than I was and could work in a place that served drinks earned far more than the regular minimum wage. Yes the job was not easy but since then I have had many other different jobs and none of them were easy. And as for the comment that all you are paying for is the food...that is certainly not true. I am paying to have the food served to me and not thrown at me. I don't know about where the person who said that lives but in my state and every other state I have lived in the server was there to serve, not sit around and spit on people's food. Whether you receive a tip or not your job is to serve. To use an example that LisaStl uses (painters) what if you hired a painting company and paid them $1000 to paint your room. Do you think if you did not give the employee a beer they should just leave the paint and the brush there in the middle of the room for you?
Personally I have no idea how one decides what jobs need a tip. It seems many think every one deserves a tip. When you are in the hospital should you tip the nurse? And if not , why not? How about the teacher? They are also providing a service. And what about the lowly mystery shopper who is getting paid $3-5 for a job that requires them to have a smart phone, computer, know how to use them, a decent car probably and an hour to do that job. If anyone deserves a tip I think we should be on the list.

How entitled are you? Because this post seems like it's turned into a "WAAAAA POOR ME I DON'T GET TIPS" type of thing. As a mystery shopper, you aren't expected to play therapist. You aren't expected to make sure 10 different parties with special orders get their food within 15 minutes. You aren't expected to clean up a stall with a toilet that somebody clogged, crawled out from under the stall door, and promptly peed in front of. That's what we get tips for. Also, with your little comment about the $3-$5 per job blah blah blah...taking the $3 jobs really IS a choice when there's a plethora of higher-paying jobs. Mystery shopping isn't the only thing that requires you to have a smartphone; if you live in the US, then day to day living requires a smartphone. If you go out and buy a car just to do mystery shopping, then that's on you. I wouldn't buy a car for something I do on the side and only clear a few grand a year from. I take the bus; a monthly pass is $27 and it's a lot cheaper, and I already take the bus to doctor's appointments and such anyway. And finally, as others have said, your analogy about painters is a false equivalency. A painter is rarely required to go outside their job description. It's demanded of a server and that's why you tip them.

Hustle like you're a middle schooler tryna get a fresh pair of Js
@themomager wrote:

Also, with your little comment about the $3-$5 per job blah blah blah...taking the $3 jobs really IS a choice when there's a plethora of higher-paying jobs. .

Earlier you said people "do NOT have the power to walk away from a job that pays the bills." Which one is it?
Interesting because I smell two of them.

There are reasons that a body stays in motion
At the moment only demons come to mind
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