Squireparty - your desire for "permanent closure" in requesting the mod's to delete your account says a lot about you. That in addition to your multiple elongated posts makes me feel that you escalate situations. I agree with a lot of things you said originally, that you made a mistake in not taking the LOA and admitted it. You then reported a negative situation with hopes of improving it. Your actions worked, as stated by Kern. Great! Problems identified and addressed. It should have ended there. Not letting go of the post and not being able to just stop logging on makes me feel like you too, in addition to the rent-a-cop, wouldn't let it go. One negative rent-a-cop added to a negative situation handler (you for not walking away) can only end up with a negative situation. You should have walked away from the rent-a-cop without drama. You should walk away from the forum for awhile, without additional drama and without mod's or anyone else forcing you to do so.

Take the fact that your OP was RIGHT as a win. Don't give back the win by continuing to add drama to the situation.

Summary

@shopperbob wrote:

Squire states:

There is also a requirement that I did not meet - let me admit this here and now - to print out some kind of letter regarding your visit. I did not keep up with this shop change - once again, admitting this here and now - as the last time I did this shop and checked in with security, I was able to show on my smartphone that I had been assigned this shop. At any rate, I did not have the letter.

Bob's comment:

That says it all.

@CureMS wrote:

Squireparty - your desire for "permanent closure" in requesting the mod's to delete your account says a lot about you. That in addition to your multiple elongated posts makes me feel that you escalate situations. I agree with a lot of things you said originally, that you made a mistake in not taking the LOA and admitted it. You then reported a negative situation with hopes of improving it. Your actions worked, as stated by Kern. Great! Problems identified and addressed. It should have ended there. Not letting go of the post and not being able to just stop logging on makes me feel like you too, in addition to the rent-a-cop, wouldn't let it go. One negative rent-a-cop added to a negative situation handler (you for not walking away) can only end up with a negative situation. You should have walked away from the rent-a-cop without drama. You should walk away from the forum for awhile, without additional drama and without mod's or anyone else forcing you to do so.

Take the fact that your OP was RIGHT as a win. Don't give back the win by continuing to add drama to the situation.

Fair enough. There is something I have held back on posting and I will do so now. This is not the first time over the years that I've felt I'm a poor fit here, nor I am the first person who has left for this reason (well, technically I'm still here, yes, but with the PM to the owner not for much longer). In the past I've sucked it up - this situation was too much for yours truly. It's not that anyone had to agree with me - this is a public forum and not everyone is going to see eye to eye. I get that and accept that. It's the mean spiritedness I've encountered here, both towards myself and others I've witnessed over the years that don't quite fit in. I've had my fill. And my tech expertise frankly sucks, this is no one here's fault - I bring this up only to explain the public-ness of my wish for closure via deactivation. I honestly did not know how to contact Jacob Jans or the moderators - hence the public nature of my wish. I would rather that aspect had been done completely behind the scenes and I would much rather have simply ghosted with no fanfare nor attention. To achieve closure this was not possible.

I have been civil and polite in all my posts to date. I will break with this stance one time and one time only to state one thing - This discussion forum has on more than one occasion over the years come across as something from the movie Mean Girls with Lindsay Lohan circa 2004. Not everyone here behaves this way, let me state that here and now.....but a few do. Had my fill. It's perfectly fine to disagree with me 100 percent and no one has to like me and I'm not about social approval above all else. It's the mean spirit of various posters here - had my fill. Stick a fork in it. Done.

I do however wish everyone the best going forward, including those I refer to above. And this will be the only break from civil on my side of the equation, and even this, at least in my mind, has been handled in a civil manner. Squireparty

Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 01/15/2019 06:55PM by squireparty.

Everyone who posted in this thread has been civil with you. You just haven't liked being told that some of us disagree with your interpretation of the situation and especially your dramatic escalation afterwards. So, you have decided to take your proverbial ball and go home...which is certainly your option.

I understood what you were trying to do Squireparty. I wish you much love, success, and joy in your future endeavors.

@Relly wrote:

I understood what you were trying to do Squireparty. I wish you much love, success, and joy in your future endeavors.

Thank You, from the bottom of my heart. It gives me some hope for the world in general that a few people scattered here and there "get it" - I'm glad JacobJ hasn't deleted me yet so that I could come back and publicly post my Thanks for your post. Best that life has to offer to you, Relly. Squireparty

@msimon-2000 wrote:

Everyone who posted in this thread has been civil with you. You just haven't liked being told that some of us disagree with your interpretation of the situation and especially your dramatic escalation afterwards. So, you have decided to take your proverbial ball and go home...which is certainly your option.

Some have twisted my words around such as the poster - who shall remain nameless - who stated that I was going to hatch plots against the University involved and get activists together to protest - even after I had publicly stated to the scheduling company owner that such was not my intention/future action(s). Beyond that, there has been a bit of a mean spirit here is my take, though it has not slid into melodramatic name calling and I am grateful for that much. Look at it this way - were you in such a situation and you posted and received some of these posts in return seemingly completely discounting your experience though you yourself were there and know what in fact actually took place, scale of one to ten, where would you rank in wishing to stick around? Just some food for thought. And being called ridiculous and insulting for posting of this incident to begin with when I'm happy to waive the $13, have no desire for one penny (in other words, no litigation), when my motivation is solely to warn others - scale of one to ten, if this happened to you, where would you rank on wishing to stick around with such a crew?

Now one thing I will state that I am guilty for over the course of my association with this online community - I have seen others treated this way from time to time over the six years I believe it is that I have been here - though I'm sure mods could verify the length of time I've been here should anyone care to - and I've turned and looked the other way, much like many posters here are doing now. So maybe it's karma coming back on me, who knows? Today I stop turning and looking the other way and going forward, I am going to apply this to all aspects of my life that I possibly can. For what it's worth to the members who have left - and there have been some, folks - for reasons similar to mine, I am truly sorry. I have no excuse for this behavior any more than those doing it here and now do. So there is yet another positive takeaway for me here - what's that saying, every dark cloud has a silver lining? - the takeaway is: No more turning and looking the other way, regardless of consequence, though to be fair, were it life and death (something like a robbery for an example) yes, then I will turn and look the other way. Something like this? No more do I turn and look the other way.

So beyond membership in a wonderful (and it really is) credit union, there is this positive takeaway, too. And yes, I will fess up to this. I have been guilty of turning and looking the other way too, and I knew I was doing so and I really hated myself for doing such. No more. Thank you, various posters here, unnamed Campus Security Manager, and unnamed private university in Phoenix, Arizona. So this situation, even for me, is not without positive aspects. Granted and given. Squireparty (as of 1:36 PM my time in Arizona still not deactivated)

Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 01/15/2019 08:40PM by squireparty.

@squireparty wrote:

Some have twisted my words around such as the poster - who shall remain nameless - who stated that I was going to hatch plots against the University involved and get activists together to protest - even after I had publicly stated to the scheduling company owner that such was not my intention/future action(s).

No, the poster merely pointed out that YOU introduced those ridiculous ideas in your initial post. No one would have ever considered that you might have done such a thing. YOU brought it up.


"when I'm happy to waive the $13, have no desire for one penny (in other words, no litigation)" --

Litigation for what? Scaring you isn't a crime! What EXACTLY do you think you could sue someone for? I am genuinely curious.

I have watched this thread unfold over the last two days and thought nothing except - what a drama queen! My stars...man up and move on!

I originally signed onto the Internet in Feb, of 1997 and have remained since that date for business purposes. I do not recall when I read my first online posting, but I can state most absolutely that this is the oddest thread I have ever read. It is my opinion that any other shopper, including those who shun accepting responsibility, would have realized their lack of an LOA was the cause of it all.

I don’t get the closure thing and asking to be deactivated here. Just delete your bookmark to this site and don’t come back. It’s called self discipline.

Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 01/15/2019 10:26PM by kenasch.

This discussion has gone completely off the rails.

OP has committed the cardinal sin. He is tedious.

PO's issues go beyond this incident..

@MikiNV wrote:

PO's issues go beyond this incident..

And this seems to be an underlying current here - this quick slap judgement and mean spirit. I personally am best off not dealing with it and no, I won't let the door hit a certain part of my body on the way out. Squireparty

@kenasch wrote:

I don’t get the closure thing and asking to be deactivated here. Just delete your bookmark to this site and don’t come back. It’s called self discipline.

In my world, gestures of closure are a good thing. Your world however gets to look completely different - I get that. Squireparty

@Mousegal wrote:

@squireparty wrote:

Some have twisted my words around such as the poster - who shall remain nameless - who stated that I was going to hatch plots against the University involved and get activists together to protest - even after I had publicly stated to the scheduling company owner that such was not my intention/future action(s).

No, the poster merely pointed out that YOU introduced those ridiculous ideas in your initial post. No one would have ever considered that you might have done such a thing. YOU brought it up.


"when I'm happy to waive the $13, have no desire for one penny (in other words, no litigation)" --

Litigation for what? Scaring you isn't a crime! What EXACTLY do you think you could sue someone for? I am genuinely curious.

I have watched this thread unfold over the last two days and thought nothing except - what a drama queen! My stars...man up and move on!

Here you have made crystal clear a reason I wish the closing gesture of deactivation. I never once threatened litigation. Period. If you would go back to the very beginning you would be able to read that I called the University President's Office, stating that something needs to be done about the Campus Security Manager, as THE NEXT PERSON (translation, not me) might very well record video and audio (completely legal in the one party state of Arizona) for a huge lawsuit. I never said I would sue nor do I care to. I have always been about a policy change only and I've made this clear.

I'm starting to be grateful that for the most part - with a few exceptions to be fair - that I'm a poor fit here. I can accept there are those who perceive me to be a drama queen but by golly folks, don't then turn around and run wild with statements and twist them into things I did not say. Ay carumba.....I see a few drama queens here from where I sit. Were I intetested, which I'm not, I could pay attention and learn the craft. I'll pass. Squireparty

If these threads keep going, MSC's are going to start dropping compensation for bar integrity audits....

@MFJohnston wrote:

If these threads keep going, MSC's are going to start dropping compensation for bar integrity audits....

I've been sober this whole time...
Sorry, not following. Squireparty

Drama may send folks to bars in droves... Thus, mystery shoppers do bar integrity audits..... As the shops fly off the boards, MSC's offer them for less: Supply and Demand.

I did not twist your words around at all. I simply pointed out that even mentioning a multi-million dollar lawsuit is a passive-aggressive technique to enter this possibility into the conversation. You think it's ok because you said you WEREN'T going to sue, but by even mentioning it at all, you have introduced the thought into the listeners mind.

Your posts are littered with this passive-aggressive escalation technique and you likely don't even know you are using it at all. Mentioning Nazi Germany and the Holocaust was a passive-aggressive way to introduce this genocide into your argument. Saying you're not going to picket, protest, and hatch plots against the university really means that you have thought about doing so, but have chosen not to at this time. People who haven't thought of suing, picketing, protesting, and hatching plots will never mention them in the conversation in the first place.

These are your words...not mine.

Hmm. Another member posted about their personal distress in the General Chat area. The responses were of the 'holding a good thought for you and yours' supporting variety.

But here? A member posted about their mystery shopping distress. The responses range from supportive to flaming.

I choose to take a lesson from the differences in response types that can be read in the two threads. The supportive posts show a good way to go, or to be, when our members and fellow shoppers are experiencing distress. So there is one additional benefit to this thread. Thanks again, OP!

@MFJohnston wrote:

Drama may send folks to bars in droves... Thus, mystery shoppers do bar integrity audits..... As the shops fly off the boards, MSC's offer them for less: Supply and Demand.

LOL Fair enough.....I understand your post now. And can find humor in it, also. Squireparty

Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 01/16/2019 12:39AM by squireparty.

@Shop-et-al wrote:

Hmm. Another member posted about their personal distress in the General Chat area. The responses were of the 'holding a good thought for you and yours' supporting variety.

But here? A member posted about their mystery shopping distress. The responses range from supportive to flaming.

I choose to take a lesson from the differences in response types that can be read in the two threads. The supportive posts show a good way to go, or to be, when our members and fellow shoppers are experiencing distress. So there is one additional benefit to this thread. Thanks again, OP!

You are most welcome. I Thank You, truly, for your kind words from the beginning. There are indeed a few posters here I will miss. Squireparty

@msimon-2000 wrote:

I did not twist your words around at all. I simply pointed out that even mentioning a multi-million dollar lawsuit is a passive-aggressive technique to enter this possibility into the conversation. You think it's ok because you said you WEREN'T going to sue, but by even mentioning it at all, you have introduced the thought into the listeners mind.

Your posts are littered with this passive-aggressive escalation technique and you likely don't even know you are using it at all. Mentioning Nazi Germany and the Holocaust was a passive-aggressive way to introduce this genocide into your argument. Saying you're not going to picket, protest, and hatch plots against the university really means that you have thought about doing so, but have chosen not to at this time. People who haven't thought of suing, picketing, protesting, and hatching plots will never mention them in the conversation in the first place.

These are your words...not mine.

Certainly you are free to believe as you wish and to post as you wish. I make no effort to take these rights away from you in the slightest by posting the following. This here is truly the most over the top response yet to the how do I say this as few seem to grasp this (?).....Very distressful situation I encountered. This mentality is another reason I wish the gesture of permanent deactivation.

But I have good news for us all! An hour ago I received an email from the owner with his mystery shopper magazine. I sent the owner a reply email to that email address and with any luck he will get it and respond to it soon. So there's good news here, too....for everyone. Squireparty

I thought you, the OP, spelled out your intentions in detail in the first post and accepted blame for having not had the LOA. I also understood what you meant when you referenced the Nazis and did not take offense as I took it only to explain how far you would go to keep someone else safe. There are those people on the forum that look for any opportunity to cut someone down instead of looking for reasons to lift one up. It's the new world.

@COMystery wrote:

I thought you, the OP, spelled out your intentions in detail in the first post and accepted blame for having not had the LOA. I also understood what you meant when you referenced the Nazis and did not take offense as I took it only to explain how far you would go to keep someone else safe. There are those people on the forum that look for any opportunity to cut someone down instead of looking for reasons to lift one up. It's the new world.

Bless you, no religious offense intended....someone else who understands. This new world you refer to? I'm a very poor fit for it as one can see from these four pages now of posts. I can't change the world....this much is true. What I can do is to call it out for what it is and cut what parts I can of it out of my life. Better than nothing, no? At least I can take some hope in the fact that there have been scattered individuals along the way such as yourself who understand. Kudos and please keep your humanity. You never know if a simple post like yours means a lot to a stranger. Thank You again! Squireparty

You do realize that you don't need to be deactivated, but instead you can just leave if you choose to, right?
How much "closure" does one person need? It doesn't need to be literal closure. End this in your own mind and just don't come back if you choose not to. Free will exists in all of us. Just because you have an account here doesn't mean you're required to utilize it.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 01/16/2019 02:05AM by Hoju.

@Hoju wrote:

You do realize that you don't need to be deactivated, but instead you can just leave if you choose to, right?

Fair question, Hoju, I give you that. And you are right, I won't deny that. I could just disappear. So....why don't I? (Another fair question). After what I experienced at the unnamed University and then here on this forum (four pages long now for everyone's reading pleasure, Lol), I wish the gesture of permanent deactivation as a respect thing. And yes, I've gathered that few here are going to understand this. As I've discovered I'm truly a very poor fit in this crowd, I'm not at all surprised few will understand. Good news is that I have sent the owner a PM from this page and a separate email as a reply to his mystery shopper magazine. I'd wager soon some here will be content to see me gone. Squireparty

Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 01/16/2019 02:08AM by squireparty.

OK. Let's just say that Jacob decides that his policy is to never deactivate accounts ever again and your account is here permanently. What then? Do you just keep on keepin' on and posting feverishly about how you can't wait to get out of here but will respect the non-existent process of deactivation? Just go. You clearly are not a fit. You've said it yourself more times than I care to count. Just go.

Or... You clearly enjoy the attention and didn't even bother to request deactivation.

I'm leaning toward option 2.

@Hoju wrote:

OK. Let's just say that Jacob decides that his policy is to never deactivate accounts ever again and your account is here permanently. What then? Do you just keep on keepin' on and posting feverishly about how you can't wait to get out of here but will respect the non-existent process of deactivation? Just go. You clearly are not a fit. You've said it yourself more times than I care to count. Just go.

Or... You clearly enjoy the attention and didn't even bother to request deactivation.

I'm leaning toward option 2.

I'm holding out hope for deactivation. I'm not the first person who has left this forum for reasons of how they were treated, and from an email from a prior person leaving sent to me via PM, deactivation does exist. At least it did a couple of years ago. I'm sure the owner is busy.....with any luck tomorrow (or perhaps overnight?) I'll get the gesture I seek and you'all will be rid of me. Squireparty