I've posted this before, and it wasn't super popular, but it works for me and I feel like it's natural for me to do, being from a small town and all. But if I need the name of the hostess, I'll ask the server, "Is the hostess Emily? Do you know if she went to X high school?" and the server will say, "No, that's Amy... blah blah." Then I'll ask the hostess for other names I need with a similar excuse, usually the manager. I'll say, "Do you know if the manager here Greg? Do you know if he used to work at xx place?" stuff like that. I'm sure though if I were a man, or an older woman, that would come off weird, but for me it works.