I'm at my wit's end with a scheduler

The bottom line is she wants a personal relationship I have no interest in. She is very needy, and in my opinion, emotionally imbalanced.

She is constantly telling me she loves me, which makes me uncomfortable. She calls me about baking cookies and all kinds of crazy stuff that has nothing to do with mystery shopping.

I've asked her repeatedly to contact me by text only as I'm usually on the road and do not have time to keep pulling over to take her calls. She won't honor my request. If I don't answer she will call, email and text every little while until I respond.

She also assigns me shops without asking. Last month it was about 25 but mostly it's just a few. Usually it's remote places she can't find another shopper to take.

She knows I don't do her shops until the last few days of the month and I always get them done. But starting about the second week of the month she starts calling continuously for status updates. Then she wants to talk about everything under the sun but won't let me get a word in edgewise. She constantly interrupts.

The thing is I could just deregister from the company. But my monthly checks range from $200 to $1200. That's a lot to give up.

I dont want to get her fired. I just want to be able to do my shops unmolested. I'm very frustrated and stressed over this.

Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 11/26/2019 10:06PM by whiterosie.

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This woman is completely out of line and you don't have to deal with that. I would tell her firmly once more that you need to keep your relationship professional and that you are not friends and that she needs to not call you. If she does not comply, then you should go over her head and talk to someone in management. If you were working a regular job, you wouldn't put up with this from a supervisor or coworker and you shouldn't have to do it while being an IC. You don't owe her anything other than to do your assigned shops when they are assigned per your request or agreement. I know this is an awkward situation, but the sooner you nip it in the bud, the better.

Shopping the South Jersey Shore
WOW! It's obvious you don't have the option of working with another scheduler. I'm interested in hearing what your recourse is.

"There's so much trouble in this world; surrounded by miracles" - Citizen Cope
This sounds like an absolute nightmare. I know you don't want to get her fired but you can't continue like this. You are going to have to go over her head in order to change the dynamic. They need to assign you a different scheduler ASAP. I am interested in what the schedulers here on the board have to say about this.
She is the only scheduler for two of the company's projects. They are super easy shops that pay decently.

Today, I blew a fuse. I'm sick and in a lot of pain and just wasn't in the mood to deal. I sent her a text asking her to stop. She responded with an email, two texts, and a voice mail message, all within about 10 minutes. I asked a second time even less nicely. So far, nothing in response thankfully.

Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 11/26/2019 11:12PM by whiterosie.
OMG...that is awful, and you are being harrassed. I would report her, and tell her you met someone and are in a serious relationship and talking marriage, that should do it, if not, report her to Management and let the chips fall.
There must be another scheduler to give you jobs.

Live consciously....
So. Many. Questions! But, to keep it simple, how did it start? Gradually? Full speed from the beginning? Had you met at a conference in person initially? Did she just zero in on you randomly? What a mess! Scary that she has access to your personal info and could show up at your door any time.

We are four states away. She is married. I am not but I'm straight.

She called me one day out of the blue on the recommendation of another scheduler. I was not signed up with her company but schedulers know I shop really remote areas. She wanted me to do a shop where there was 10 feet of snow on the ground. I did it as a favor and the rest is history. She's considered us buddies every since.

Honestly, I just believe she is very emotionally needy. For whatever reason, she feels secure with me.

I know I'm not the only shopper she tell she loves. My friend who shops hears that too and agrees it's creepy. It's not said like two sisters or bff's. It comes across creepy.
Report this stalker immediately to management for your own security. Also consider reporting it to the police. Either way save copies of your enails to management for your own protection.

1) She may try to burn your reputation if she feels rejected (not only with this MSC but with others). 2) This behavior could easily progress to something more dangerous. 3) While your empathy does you credit, you should NOT be concerned about her job, you should be concerned about yours, and also about your safety. She has clearly demonstrated that she has no concern for your job security if she is dumping a bunch of un-requested assignments on you and harassing you about completing them. 4) By continuing to do those jobs for her, you are tacitly approving of her methods and encouraging her to do it more.

Right now she is creepy and annoying. Tomorrow she could be much, much worse.
I know you have tried to set boundaries and she disregards them. But I am thinking you are answering the phone or text when she does try to contact you. I recently read some office advice to set limits on answering phone calls, emails, texts so that you can have time to concentrate. So from that advice perhaps tell her that you do not take phone calls, texts or however she contacts you during the work day and you will answer all emails, texts etc at xxx hour. Then go on by saying you will handle any business related communications at that xxx time but your time will be limited. Then, do not answer her calls or texts during the day. You msut recognize her number by now. Text or call or email her back at teh xx time you indicated. She may send you a barrage of emails etc but just ignore them until xx time comes around again. Eventually she will tire.
I have never had a scheduler have to call me on a job related emergency so you probably will not miss anything. If she does contact you mid day with a job proposal you can simply get back and say yes if you want to do the job but do not call her and give her the excuse to keep you on the phone. Hopefully if you stick to your plan she will soon learn to change her ways.
This scheduler sounds like a glomper, and as an IC, this person is essentially stealing your time, and that translates into money. Whatever her pathology is, she needs to be given strict boundaries to adhere to. I would program my smartphone to give her calls-texts-emails a designated ring tone, so you know whose calling B4 you answer. Let this person leave a message, then listen to message and decide if it warrants an immediate call back ( shop issue, etc ) This is how I deal with time wasting glompers.
I witnessed a similiar situation. A friend of mine had a crush on a supervisor and ended up being written up. Then my friend threatened to kill herself. The write up was a joke as my friend was accused of things she had never done so I defended her. I ended up on the supervisor's bad side as did anyone else who was associated with me. A guy I was dating got himself suspended when other people who did the same thing were not. I was written up for allowing a person to leave my place of business to get coffee. However, this lady has gone too far. She needs to be reported to management. She could lose her job for what she is doing and you might be able to sue the company for sexual harrassment. If she does lose her job, someone else will take over the job assignments. Good luck.
Personally I do not see this as sexual harrassment. I read the I love you as a friend saying I like you a lot. But if the OP feels that the I love you was said in a way suggesting a sexual love then this definitely should be reported. Many friends use the word love to say a whole lot of like. It is not always two sided.
Tough call. According to various posts in this forum, some shoppers are friendly with schedulers and/or MSC employees. These shoppers have posted that they exchange holiday good wishes, etc. Can you wean from this company and gradually do more with other MSC's? Is this scheduler more of a breezy cyber air kiss cyber air kiss and a throwaway 'Luv ya!' or more of an 'Aha! Oh thank you whomever or whatever because here is a shopper who consistently does great work for me at the end of each month'?

Rest is not idleness, and to lie sometimes on the grass under the trees on a summer's day, listening to the murmur of water, or watching the clouds float across the blue sky, is by no means waste of time. - John Lubbock, "Recreation," The Use of Life, 1894
I’ve noticed that everyone who is for abortion has already been born. - Ronald Reagan

Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 11/27/2019 07:01PM by Shop-et-al.
The word LOVE should be kept in a personal relationship or with your family/kids, not with a scheduler and anyone not seeing this needs a small head tap. Working is another thing, and needs to be kept on a friendly professional level, this woman is definitely dropping hints, stalking and wanting more that work from the OP.... .not difficult to read the clues...dismissing them leaves the scheduler thinking maybe the shopper likes her as well.

Live consciously....

Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 11/27/2019 08:07PM by Irene_L.A..
I know that some schedulers communicate in a more formal way than others do. I have not experienced such effusive communications as the OP describes. And, I have not done very many end of month shops that thrill schedulers, complete their tasks, and assure their bonuses (or whatever). This makes me wonder about the mentioned scheduler's communication style and appreciation level. Are they just, like, over the moon with happiness because the OP is a great shopper who does what needs to be done?!?!? Everything depends upon context.

Rest is not idleness, and to lie sometimes on the grass under the trees on a summer's day, listening to the murmur of water, or watching the clouds float across the blue sky, is by no means waste of time. - John Lubbock, "Recreation," The Use of Life, 1894
I’ve noticed that everyone who is for abortion has already been born. - Ronald Reagan
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