All of this worry about what the person identifies as is a new problem. But I will bet that the customer that had the form designed does not really care since there is not a box to check, so I would not worry about it.

This discussion brings back "Pat" from SNL...for you old timers who remember him/her and way before it was a timely matter.

LOL. I can't think of a female "Oscar" but does "Oskar" count, as in Oskar Saville?

@KokoBWare wrote:

@BusyBeeBuzzBuzzBuzz wrote:

What names (especially these days) are male only?

"Oscar" would be a good bet

I’m pretty good with women’s weight, because i can compare their body style to mine. I am pretty clueless when it comes to males, though.

@BirdyC wrote:

.
The weight thing is weird; estimating someone's weight is really difficult to begin with. Some reports I've had ask for general build (tall, slender, large, etc.), and some specifically say to NOT mention build. I've never been asked to estimate weight in pounds. Even guessing age within a certain range can be tough.

Ha! Not a DNA sample. No matter the paint job, men and women look certain ways by virtue of DNA. Women have certain curves, men have an Adam's apple, etc. Certain things can't be hidden by lashes or a flannel shirt.

@myst4au wrote:

I am curious how you propose obtaining a DNA sample from the cashier and then performing a chromosomal analysis in time to submit the report. I am also curious how much you think it would cost.

@HonnyBrown wrote:

I go by DNA and make a note in the report.

Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 07/17/2021 10:51PM by HonnyBrown.

I was actually banned from one grocery store for "misgendering" a transgender person. Sex identification has become a big hassle for me because of the rapidly growing popularity of transgenderism near me and in particular the surprising number of transgender persons working as cashiers in grocery stores. These are mostly genetic males dressed in conventionally feminine ways and with feminine names. I pick the female checkbox in these cases, as the correct woke practice seems to be to identify a person how he/she wants to be identified. But what do you do about an obvious genetic male wearing a dress and lipstick but retaining an uber-male name like Oscar? I have asked the mystery shopping company but received no response. My solution is just to do my best to stay out of lines with cashiers whose sex is unclear.

I still want to know: how do we distinguish between transvestite (cross-dressing) and transgender (actual change)? Why, oh why, is someone asking us to do this? If we are supposed to respect people, and PC demands this, why are we being so crass as to make presumptions regarding strangers while potentially finding doing them poorly or well in their working environment? I want this to stop. Now. Forever.

They need to make a box for undetermined or SHIM.

This has happened three times where I did not know what to put under male/female. We need another option.

@migrants wrote:

I was actually banned from one grocery store for "misgendering" a transgender person. Sex identification has become a big hassle for me because of the rapidly growing popularity of transgenderism near me and in particular the surprising number of transgender persons working as cashiers in grocery stores. These are mostly genetic males dressed in conventionally feminine ways and with feminine names. I pick the female checkbox in these cases, as the correct woke practice seems to be to identify a person how he/she wants to be identified. But what do you do about an obvious genetic male wearing a dress and lipstick but retaining an uber-male name like Oscar? I have asked the mystery shopping company but received no response. My solution is just to do my best to stay out of lines with cashiers whose sex is unclear.

Interesting!
I'm not certain how you could be banned for "misgendering".
Why?
Because unless you "looked behind the curtain" (so to speak) there is truly no way do figure a person's actual gender.
You should first go into a bit more detail about the banning and did you fight this banning.

We need to be free of this type of question. Please set us free to interact with persons. Well, maybe not. Some wag would probably show up in a gorilla suit...

@Niner wrote:

This has happened three times where I did not know what to put under male/female. We need another option.

There is a trans cashier at a local grocery store here, I put the name on her name tag into the shop, but the receipt showed her previous name. I was questioned about it, I explained that she was trans and that the store probably hadn't updated their database yet.

@HonnyBrown wrote:

Ha! Not a DNA sample. No matter the paint job, men and women look certain ways by virtue of DNA. Women have certain curves, men have an Adam's apple, etc. Certain things can't be hidden by lashes or a flannel shirt.

FYI - Some men have curves, some woman do not. Some women are very tall, some men are very short. Everyone has an Adam's apple and some women's are quite pronounced, while some men's are not that visible (famous examples include Morena Baccarin, Meg Ryan, Dave Franco and Zac Efron). Men can develop pendulous breasts, via weight gain or hormone imbalance, some women are incredibly flat chested. Women will often develop noticeable facial hair and women can experience hair thinning and baldness.

And all that is just as accurate if you're talking about individuals who are transgender or cisgender. DNA doesn't actually display nearly as much about a person's gender assignment at birth as this statement implies. Plus, there's the fact there are more than 2 biological genders in terms of both DNA and body phenotypes.

[en.wikipedia.org]

And to the question of how you can be banned for misgendering someone...

"def.
verb

refer to (someone, especially a transgender person) using a word, especially a pronoun or form of address, that does not correctly reflect the gender with which they identify."

What is under someone's chassis is no one's business but theirs. If they prefer to be called she, the respectful behavior is to call them she, just the same way you wouldn't constantly refer to a woman by her married name when she's asked you to use her maiden name and you wouldn't repeatedly call someone Robert if they go by Bobby. We constantly adjust how we refer to others, to show basic respect for their personal identity - just ask Janet, Ms. Jackson if you're nasty. Deliberately or carelessly misgendering someone is just as rude and inappropriate as refusing to call someone "Dr." when they have earned that academic/professional title.

[www.thelily.com]

And in any situation where a shop for does ask for gender-based description, it's short-sighted to only have a binary answer available. Diversity exists whether or not anyone accounts for it.

We should not be attempting to gauge the gender of other people at all. It is none of our business. If we keep the mystery in mystery shopping, we should skip the potential moments of discomfort, mislabeling, and/or bonding. We need our distance between persons we encounter or evaluate. If we make a mistake, it might not be our fault. Some people, such as Ru Paul, somehow manage to look more elegant in drag than others do. Will the others catch up over time if they are transitioning? How the unprintable should we know!? How dare anyone expect us to be 100% accurate in situations which place gender and sex at a higher priority than courtesy, aptitude,overall job performance, and details of their performance such as timeliness of service and demonstration of skill or knowledge? !? I think the mistake is to include so much of sex and gender. And yes, because of another job, I know that activists have won a point by inserting sex and gender where they should not-- imho-- be. Can someone please explain to activists that I just want to deal with people as people and not go farther than that with them? Pleasepleasepleasepleasepleeeeeaaaaaasssssseeeeee?

WOW! Make it as hard as possible.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 09/02/2021 07:40AM by ShoppingDad.