shop requires gender neutral pronouns

September 04, 2022 04:39PM

I've only encountered this with one company, but the shop instructions for two apartment shops I did last week made it clear that my commentary was to exclude any gender-specific pronouns. So I met with two separate leasing agents, whose genders were obvious. One was a woman, the other was a man. I complied with the instructions, but I don't get it. I am a woman, and nothing about being called 'her' or 'she' offends me. Are people actually offended when you use their gender pronouns, because the whole thing seems absurd to me.

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September 04, 2022 04:53PM

It doesn't bother me either way, but it is a very personal issue for some people, so I try to do as right as I can by them on the issue. I've been an editor for much of my career. Whatever the assignment, I generally try to comply with the various preferred editorial guidelines. It doesn't bother me either way, in no kind of way. If it did, I'd probably just pass on the bothersome assignment. There is plenty other out there. Be aware though that the preferred grammatical use of gender specific pronouns is in flux. When in doubt, I already go gender neutral.

How many legs does a dog have if you call the tail a leg?
"Four. Calling a tail a leg doesn't make it a leg."
-- Abraham Lincoln

September 04, 2022 05:05PM

I suspect it has more to do with keeping the shoppee anonymous when sharing the report with staff.

September 04, 2022 05:16PM

That's an interesting point, I did not think of it. I guess if there are multiple leasing agents of different genders, it will keep them from being able to guess who the shopper was if the identity of the agent is obscured.

September 04, 2022 05:28PM

I do what the MSC ask so I get paid. It's no big deal. Some reports require employees be referred to as teammates or whatever internal term they used. I couldn't care less. Much bigger problems in the world and country.

A Dad shopping the Ark-LA-Tex and beyond.

Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 09/04/2022 05:29PM by ShoppingDad.

September 04, 2022 06:21PM

“The associate” is more formal than “she”
Sometimes requested to be written by robots:

“The associate brought the guest a soft drink at 12:52 PM”

Like a PI

September 04, 2022 06:44PM

Every big problem begins with small changes that nobody pays attention to. But I digress. I was just asking a question because I've never seen this before, and I've been mystery shopping since 2013.

September 04, 2022 07:06PM

I seem to remember a time when the use of MS was considered controversial. Was it the start of a "big problem"???

Based in MD, near DC
Shopping from the Carolinas to New York
Have video cam; will travel

Poor customer service? Don't get mad; get video.

September 04, 2022 07:34PM

There was a chocolate shop report that used to insist you not use gender specific pronouns. So I wrote,
"They proceeded to explain the loyalty program to me." The editor dinged me for using a plural pronoun.

September 04, 2022 07:40PM

I did one of the gender-neutral apartment shops last week. I have no objection to writing that way, but it still takes effort.

I have begun to see business cards and name tags that include their preferred pronouns. In one instance, it really helped, since the report wanted to know male or female, and based on the name that they told me, I would not have known which to pick.

Major local universities require the faculty to ask every student on the first day of class what name they wish to be called and which gender pronouns they want the professor to use.

Shopping South Jersey, Southeast Pennsylvania, and Delaware above the canal since 2008

September 04, 2022 09:08PM

whatever the client wants, the client gets. if you have any problems with it, yes stay away from the shop. check the politics at the door if you want to take the shop and make money. these clients are paying you. they are not your friends.

September 04, 2022 09:15PM

I have not been dinged for using 'they' but now wonder about this requirement. For example, I might have begun a wee narrative with 'The Associate was assisting another customer when I arrived, but they looked up from that task, excused themselves to the other customer, and greeted me with a smile and acknowledgement that they would assist me as soon as possible. They invited me to browse the store and turned their attention back to the other customer within less than seven seconds.'

Ya' wanna be they/them/their? Fine with me. As maverick1 pointed out, that is not a matter of biological science, which is well known. It is just a personal preference. I agree with ShoppingDad that time and effort might be better spent on larger problems in the larger world.

September 04, 2022 09:49PM

They have no issues with gender neutral pronouns or names or titles it doesn't make any difference to me. What bothers me is when the mystery shopping company wants to know the ethnicity of the person that I am talking to. Every person that I speak to is a human being, and I will never identify them as anything other than that.

Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 09/04/2022 09:57PM by Morledzep.

September 04, 2022 09:55PM

I certainly agree that gender pronouns should not play a part of our mystery shops. Your MSC has gone too far to be sensitive to different genders.

September 04, 2022 10:49PM

Years and years ago, some reports required the use of "staff" or "person" so as not to specifically identify the employee.

I don't have any problem with that.

September 04, 2022 11:18PM

There is a pet supply shop for ACL that is requiring non-gender identifying pronouns even if you know the associate's name. They asked you to use their name and then they or them instead of he or she which is just weird when writing. I think I've got the hang of it but it is taking quite a bit of editing on my behalf to edit out he and she when I know the person's name.

September 05, 2022 01:06AM

If I have to use race as part of a written description I always say they appeared to be [race].

@Morledzep wrote:

They have no issues with gender neutral pronouns or names or titles it doesn't make any difference to me. What bothers me is when the mystery shopping company wants to know the ethnicity of the person that I am talking to. Every person that I speak to is a human being, and I will never identify them as anything other than that.

Happiness is not a goal; it is a by-product. Eleanor Roosevelt

September 05, 2022 07:00AM

@KathyG wrote:

If I have to use race as part of a written description I always say they appeared to be [race].

I was raised by terrible hateful racists, both of my parents and my grandparents on both sides. I learned very young that if I wanted to talk about some of my friends from school I had to never identify the color of their skin, or say their last name. Otherwise my parents would tell me to find different friends. Or say some very unkind things that were completely uncalled for.

I never have, and I never will, identify a person or describe a person by their ethnicity or skin color. In any mystery shopping company that has ever asked me that question has gotten 1 of 2 answers. If they ask the race And leave it for me to fill in, I write human. If they give me a list of check boxes, I choose other, or unable to determine. I also will never ask a person what their race, or ethnicity is. It's none of my business unless they want to tell me.

When I'm asked for a description I will offer hair color and length, height, and apparent gender, but I try to avoid the gender question. One of our local grocery stores has a transgender cashier, and giving the name on their badge, different from the name on the receipt got a reaction from the editors a couple times.

September 05, 2022 05:35PM

I'm happy to hear companies are requiring this. Determining gender should not be my role as an evaluator.

Evaluating and mailing packages since 1994. I am an undercover connoisseur of customer service, a master of disguise in the aisles, and a sworn enemy of subpar experiences. I blend in, observe, and report—because excellence should never be a mystery.

September 05, 2022 06:02PM

Anyone remember the SNL episodes with "Pat"?

September 05, 2022 07:38PM

Sex and gender are two different things. Sex is biology, and anatomy. Gender is how one sees themselves and expresses that; it's subjective. See [www.genderbread.org]

September 05, 2022 09:35PM

Europe-based companies have required gender-neutral reports for many years. It's not easy to do, but after awhile you get used to it. The reports don't always read like literary stories, but it is what they want. Just do the best you can; since this is still an unnatural way of writing the editors will catch mistakes.

Years ago reasons included consistency (comparing employees shopped in different countries), European interpretation of various antidiscrimination and labor laws around the world, not outing the shopper, not outing the employee. Today add as a reason that accurate determination of a person's sex/gender may not be possible, and it can be indelicate to get it wrong.

September 06, 2022 09:49PM

It’s because of our woke nation, let’s just face it. I am not the most politically correct person out there either. I’ve done the pet store one, and it wasn’t my favorite. I’m sure more of these are coming our way.

September 06, 2022 09:57PM

I've seen this in the past too and it was before pronouns were a topic of conversation. They wanted you to write it by saying "The associate" or "the employee". I never really paid it any mind.

@ceasesmith wrote:

Years and years ago, some reports required the use of "staff" or "person" so as not to specifically identify the employee.

I don't have any problem with that.

Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 09/06/2022 09:57PM by joanna81.

September 06, 2022 10:21PM

I think of the Money Tree shops and they want use to use the name "teller or associate" and not identify them when writing the report. They ask for the name in the beginning, but they want the narrative to not identify anything. I just use "the teller did this or the teller did that" It's really not that complicated.

However, when I hear someone with an accent that I think I might know, I ask out of curiosity. My wife is Boricua, so I can talk with people about foods and places in the Caribbean when I come across someone. I don't add it to the report, but it makes the shop more fun (and personable) and less transactional.

September 07, 2022 04:13AM

Do you know why they require it?
I know this has been discussed here, years ago. Seemed to be about not identifying the employee.

I couldn't find a general discussion about it, but my search brought up this one comment.

[www.mysteryshopforum.com]

When a flower doesn’t bloom, you fix the environment in which it grows, not the flower.
Alexander Den Heijer

Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 09/07/2022 04:24AM by prince.

September 07, 2022 04:15AM

I believe that they require it because the client uses gender-neutral pronouns in the course of their daily business to refer to their own employees. Requiring that reports about their employees use gender-neutral pronouns would then be consistent with the corporate policy.

@prince wrote:

Do you know why they require it?
I know this has been discussed here, years ago. Seemed to be about not identifying the employee.

I couldn't find a general discussion about it, but my search brought up this one comment.

[www.mysteryshopforum.com]

Shopping South Jersey, Southeast Pennsylvania, and Delaware above the canal since 2008

September 07, 2022 10:55AM

Sure. It's like some people want to equate wealth with money. A person may not have a lot of money, but consider themselves wealthy. [insert pregnant pause here] However, most people DO consider having plenty of money as being wealthy. You see, it's the mental framework. Aka, mental health.

@shopnyc wrote:

Sex and gender are two different things. Sex is biology, and anatomy. Gender is how one sees themselves and expresses that; it's subjective. See [www.genderbread.org]

Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 09/07/2022 10:55AM by maverick1.

September 08, 2022 01:06PM

You're right, it does take work. I had to go over my entire commentary and make corrections where I had instinctively written 'she' or 'he'. It sounds like an awful lot of work for professors to remember every student's preferences. I would definitely ask for a big raise if I were in their position!

September 08, 2022 01:11PM

I agree. I am glad I am not on the faculty at a college / university in this area of the country right now for just that reason. I imagine that I would learn since it is not an option. I have friends who are still faculty members and they are coping.

@digikiss wrote:

It sounds like an awful lot of work for professors to remember every student's preferences.

Shopping South Jersey, Southeast Pennsylvania, and Delaware above the canal since 2008

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