Have you had stops that you struggled with emotionally to finish, because you lived it.
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I am so sorry for your loss. I have felt the sting at times as well. However, with time, I have tended to pick and choose more on the assignments. Oddly, one of the hardest shops I ever did was actually a five star resort. That shop was so labor intensive, I felt like I was going to fall on my face before I got all the information I needed, much less writing it up. On the last night there, I was running around the entire complex one more time to verify the location of all the fire extinguishers. At the time, I noticed all these workers who were out cleaning everything in sight at that very late hour. There was the very real realization that I too was among the hired help. I too was working myself to the bone. I was not actually one of the ones on vacation, and I sure did feel that sting. I sure did want to visit that resort, but all is not always as it appears with mystery shoppers. It's been good to me overall though. My profile is not as it used to be before either, but I think that it does probably open up more possibilities because I have been there as well. I could see how the elder care shops would be difficult for you. Hang in there. There are opportunities and perks that can make mystery shopping pretty nice at our age as well.
How many legs does a dog have if you call the tail a leg?
"Four. Calling a tail a leg doesn't make it a leg."
-- Abraham Lincoln
"Four. Calling a tail a leg doesn't make it a leg."
-- Abraham Lincoln
I find my life experiences help me do the jobs.
My grief is permanent, and situations don't make it worse. I've had to plan funerals for my loved ones, so making calls to funeral homes was just a normal thing to do.
My grief is permanent, and situations don't make it worse. I've had to plan funerals for my loved ones, so making calls to funeral homes was just a normal thing to do.
When a flower doesn’t bloom, you fix the environment in which it grows, not the flower.
Alexander Den Heijer
Alexander Den Heijer
I had to walk out of a gas station shop when my mother's favorite song with my father in law (a romantic dance song) started playing on the radio... about a month after my father in law passed on.... because I started crying. I had just revealed a couple minutes prior, so sat in my car for a bit then did the outside portion. Adding to the moment was this station was about 10 miles from where my mother grew up.
It was not a shop but I had something similar thing happened. This happened several years ago.
My aunt had just passed away. All the arrangements have been arranged.. I went to work the next day and after work, I went to the funeral home to have some one one time with her.. (My wife met me there). This was before we had open visitation and way before COVID..
After we got finished, we went to get a bite to eat.. The restaurant had back ground music.. It was not SUPER SUPER SUPER loud (Like the Texas Road House where you have to yell to talk to the people at your table or your server). It was just loud enough you could hear it and be able to talk to other people and hear your self think..
As we were looking at the menu, there was a song that came on and I started to cry.. It was hard for me to enjoy my meal but I was able to eat and have a nice conversation with my wife and enjoy the nice background music
Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 10/21/2022 03:11PM by Isaiah4031a.
My aunt had just passed away. All the arrangements have been arranged.. I went to work the next day and after work, I went to the funeral home to have some one one time with her.. (My wife met me there). This was before we had open visitation and way before COVID..
After we got finished, we went to get a bite to eat.. The restaurant had back ground music.. It was not SUPER SUPER SUPER loud (Like the Texas Road House where you have to yell to talk to the people at your table or your server). It was just loud enough you could hear it and be able to talk to other people and hear your self think..
As we were looking at the menu, there was a song that came on and I started to cry.. It was hard for me to enjoy my meal but I was able to eat and have a nice conversation with my wife and enjoy the nice background music
Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 10/21/2022 03:11PM by Isaiah4031a.
@johnb974, You did the right and courageous and beautiful thing by caring for your mom, even though it did drain your savings. You will never have any regrets about whether or not you should have or shouldn't have....you DID!! God bless you for it...many times over!!
Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 10/21/2022 03:57PM by guysmom.
Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 10/21/2022 03:57PM by guysmom.
I also drained my retirement savings to care for a disabled brother and my mother in their last years. It was not easy taking care of them (lots of shops had to be cancelled or rescheduled!) but I noticed that because of the experiences I could have credible discussions with staff at retirement and assisted living shops. The sad reminiscing adds to the authenticity.
Hi John, I too lost someone close to me, my husband. I stayed away from the types of shops that had to do with aging or dying. I would start to cry at any moment. I remember being quite upset when the day my husband died a friend asked if I was going to sell my home, like I had nothing else on my mind that day but where I would live the next day. And then I got people encouraging me to go on dating sites. I had no desire but also told them there was no way i could go on a date and burst out crying at any moment. That went on for several years. The good news is that eventually you begin to feel more normal and the crying episodes come further and further apart. But as Susan says when you get to that point, you will more easily be able to do those shops with credibility.
Since you had a big hit on your finances perhaps you should look into picking up your old type of work. Jobs are begging for trained people to apply and salaries have gone up everywhere pretty much. And a job that will contribute to your retirement savings will be an extra bonus. You will get to the point where you feel you can go out in public without the emotionalism of her death weighing you down. Keep your chin up.
Since you had a big hit on your finances perhaps you should look into picking up your old type of work. Jobs are begging for trained people to apply and salaries have gone up everywhere pretty much. And a job that will contribute to your retirement savings will be an extra bonus. You will get to the point where you feel you can go out in public without the emotionalism of her death weighing you down. Keep your chin up.
I know MSC /clients wants shops done in a timey matter especially at the end of the month or quarter or what ever..
Just say you have a shop schedule at McDonalds on October 31 and it is an BIG BIG bonus shop.. That is the end of the month for both the MSC and the client for this around of shops..
Yes I know McDonalds is not shopped any more, but I am just asking a question (what IF)
You get a call from your mom on October 27 saying that your dad passed away and the funeral is October 30.. They both live out of state.. You leave to go out of town either the 28th or 29th and you get back into town on Nov 2.
You e-mail the MSC to explain what just happened with your dad.. They email you back saying we are sorry for your lost.. Then they ban you for doing shops for that MSC or that client for several months or may be even for ever.
Will you still do shops for that MSC again even if they have shops that you have done before or would you say good bye to them?
Just say you have a shop schedule at McDonalds on October 31 and it is an BIG BIG bonus shop.. That is the end of the month for both the MSC and the client for this around of shops..
Yes I know McDonalds is not shopped any more, but I am just asking a question (what IF)
You get a call from your mom on October 27 saying that your dad passed away and the funeral is October 30.. They both live out of state.. You leave to go out of town either the 28th or 29th and you get back into town on Nov 2.
You e-mail the MSC to explain what just happened with your dad.. They email you back saying we are sorry for your lost.. Then they ban you for doing shops for that MSC or that client for several months or may be even for ever.
Will you still do shops for that MSC again even if they have shops that you have done before or would you say good bye to them?
I did a maternity shop. I had struggled with infertility for years, and my daughter was stillborn. The shop required me to try on the fake plastic bump and try on maternity clothes. It was definitely a strange experience. I’m not sure I’d do it again.
When did you contact the msc in your what if question? You had several days before the funeral to contact them so did you do so or did you wait until Nov 2 when you returned? My answer to your question would be different depending on your answer to my question about timing.
Ditto!@prince wrote:
I find my life experiences help me do the jobs. .
I can understand how doing shops that bring back those memories could be difficult. My response is a little different. When doing senior care shops or funeral home calls, I feel like I am helping others who will have to deal with the same issues we have had. At one senior care shop, the marketing person repeatedly said my (made up) loved one's name incorrectly, even after I corrected her once. I'd like to believe that people who saw her after she got that report did not have to deal with having their loved one's name mispronounced.
Back in 2008, my husband had a brain scan done in the morning. Four hours later the dr called to say he had a brain tumor in the back of his head, and to get to the hospital PRONTO!! I had to call MF and several other MSCs and explain that I had to postpone or cancel several shops due over the next few weeks and why. Every one of them were kind, thoughtful and considerate. Fortunately, I was not banned from any of them. (BTW, Hubby did great and is still going strong at 81 years young!!(@Isaiah4031a wrote:
You e-mail the MSC to explain what just happened with your dad.. They email you back saying we are sorry for your lost.. Then they ban you for doing shops for that MSC or that client for several months or may be even for ever.
@guysmom wrote:
Back in 2008, my husband had a brain scan done in the morning. Four hours later the dr called to say he had a brain tumor in the back of his head, and to get to the hospital PRONTO!! I had to call MF and several other MSCs and explain that I had to postpone or cancel several shops due over the next few weeks and why. Every one of them were kind, thoughtful and considerate. Fortunately, I was not banned from any of them. (BTW, Hubby did great and is still going strong at 81 years young!!(@Isaiah4031a wrote:
You e-mail the MSC to explain what just happened with your dad.. They email you back saying we are sorry for your lost.. Then they ban you for doing shops for that MSC or that client for several months or may be even for ever.
Glad that your hubby is doing very well.... Glad they were kind and very understanding and that you were not banned...
I know on MF sometimes under the news heading , it talks about any current hurricanes and if you have any shops schedule either to cancel or reschedule them because they value your safety.
I have read on the forums where things happen at the last minute and shoppers would either have to cancel or reschedule or go out of town.. The MSC would give that person an "1" for flaking even though they explained to them what happen.. Sadly some MSC and schedulers don't care..
Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 10/22/2022 03:20AM by Isaiah4031a.
John I feel you on the caregiver topic I cared for my father full time also before his death.
I've also have done assisted living shops and medical insurance shops. So the scenarios are easy. I even correct the presenter in my mind when they have been wrong.
Yeah, also went through a large share of my retirement also.
So I understand your situation.
I've also have done assisted living shops and medical insurance shops. So the scenarios are easy. I even correct the presenter in my mind when they have been wrong.
Yeah, also went through a large share of my retirement also.
So I understand your situation.
@johnb974 wrote:
I had been my mother's full time caregiver for 7 years. After she passed away I started doing mystery shopping. I took a shop where I had to play the part of looking for an Assisted Living Facility for a parent. The job paid well so I took it. It was one of the toughest shops I ever did. I had to relive what I had been doing for the last 7 years. I could play the part perfectly, because that was my life. It was tough to hold back my feelings the whole time.
I was on my way to a nice retirement before I became her caregiver. I went through my retirement savings, did not work for 7 years, so no income. I do some high end bank shops. because they pay well. But doing them is a reminder of what I could have had. I should be sitting there talking to a banker with confidence, because I would fit the profile....but I don't. I now get by month to month.
Have you had shops that can drain you emotionally?
A Dad shopping the Ark-LA-Tex and beyond.
I had a Source Medicare shop scheduled last Thursday night. As Thursday unfolded I started feeling cruddy, and even had a slight fever. I was able to cancel the shop on their website with no explanation, although I replied to the acceptance message letting them know what was going on. The next day I got a nice response.
@Isaiah4031a wrote:
I have read on the forums where things happen at the last minute and shoppers would either have to cancel or reschedule or go out of town.. The MSC would give that person an "1" for flaking even though they explained to them what happen.. Sadly some MSC and schedulers don't care..
Happiness is not a goal; it is a by-product. Eleanor Roosevelt
Agree. I did one of those shops for an assisted living after I had been through it for both of the people who raised me. It was emotionally draining. We talked for a long time in the office and everything came crashing back. The ones for ACL expect you to get pricing for every type of care, which makes no sense (memory care, plus any other care offered). It took a while to get someone and the initial call, visit, and write up took hours. It was absolutely not worth the $75.
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