Both of these experiences involve shops at the "Big V" gas stations.

The first one was in Converse, LA (a sundown town). Before I go further, remember, my mother is Aboriginal American and my dad is French Creole from South Louisiana, so, my skin is golden brown. Now, back to the story. I was evaluating a gas pump and a pickup truck with a old Karen pulls in between the gas pump and myself. Karen gets out and walks behind the truck, looking at the ground. It was a Sunday morning and I was in a good mood and I spoke, "Good morning!" 3 times. On the 3rd time, she looked up, spoke back, and kept on walking. As she got past ne, she says, "N1gg3r!" I was like, "WHOA!" Then, I go in the store and a older soul brother walks up to me and tells me that the pink people are talking about getting me and I better get out of town! All of a sudden, the evaluation was over and I was out. Normally, I carry at least 1 weapon with me but that day I didn't have a weapon and not even my Momma's 9lb Chihuahua mix (you know that they're meaner than a pitbull).
The next time was also a Sunday morning but this time, I was in Garrison, TX. The owners, an E. Indian couple, were in the store. I was on the reveal portion. I came out of the bathroom and the wife was at the door asking me if everything was good. I told her it was but I hadn't seen a condom machine in a bathroom since like the 80s. She asks if they should take it down. I said no since I didn't see a rule against it. She then proceeds to tell me that I could have anything in the display. I decline. She then tells me that they have chicken. I still decline and tell her that I don't eat when I'm working because of my IBS. She then tells me to go on and get some because SHE KNOWS HOW YOU PEOPLE LOVE CHICKEN! I just stood with my mouth open. I said excuse me can you repeat that. She repeats it. I walk off. I make my purchase and go to the truck. I start to pull out to get my gas when she comes out with a huge bottle of smart water. I take it because I didn't have any water with me and the evaluation was over. I thank her and pull to the pump. I finish and get in. Her husband comes out eating chips in a big bag. He starts telling me thank you and all. He then tells me that this is his bag of chips and pulls out a identical bag from behind him. I believe they were a jalapeño flavored chip and gives them to me. He then proceeds to tell me that HE KNOWS HOW YOU PEOPLE LOVE HOT CHIPS! Dang! A RACISM 2FER! The thing is that you can look at them and see that they genuinely had no malice when they said. If they did, I would have found stuff to report on them.

Sometimes people are just ignorant.

Egads!

They were probably trying to impress you with their knowledge on stereotypes.

A Latino guy was newly renting an apartment on my street. One morning, he pulled a gun on my much-browner-than-him neighbor who was loading up his truck for work, told him to get the F out of here or he was going to kill him. That he didn't belong there. "You go now!" It was the neighbor's house and his truck! AND he was putting stuff in, not taking it out! The neighbor was none too happy about that. Interesting how someone with very limited English can be so judgmental and proactive in a situation that they have not even taken a moment to assess. Scary.

I have dark hair and in the summer, I tan easily. I've been mistaken before for my ethnicity.
With that being said, I once was in a grocery store where I purchased a certain brand of taco mix.
At the checkout, the young male clerk asked (quite innocently),
"Oh! Do your "people" use this too?"
Thinking about it at the time, I thought perhaps he was referring to my family as "your people".
But later, I thought what a strange comment.
Did he think I was Hispanic or Latina and just thought it odd that my "people" would buy or use it.
I took no umbrage. I just thought it was peculiar.

What I experienced is nothing in comparison to what happened to you. I cannot imagine the pain and hurt you have experienced over the years.
It is sad, scary and demoralizing.
I am so sorry that you had to experience any of that.

@KingDouglasTheGreat wrote:

Both of these experiences involve shops at the "Big V" gas stations.

The first one was in Converse, LA (a sundown town). Before I go further, remember, my mother is Aboriginal American and my dad is French Creole from South Louisiana, so, my skin is golden brown. Now, back to the story. I was evaluating a gas pump and a pickup truck with a old Karen pulls in between the gas pump and myself. Karen gets out and walks behind the truck, looking at the ground. It was a Sunday morning and I was in a good mood and I spoke, "Good morning!" 3 times. On the 3rd time, she looked up, spoke back, and kept on walking. As she got past ne, she says, "N1gg3r!" I was like, "WHOA!" Then, I go in the store and a older soul brother walks up to me and tells me that the pink people are talking about getting me and I better get out of town! All of a sudden, the evaluation was over and I was out. Normally, I carry at least 1 weapon with me but that day I didn't have a weapon and not even my Momma's 9lb Chihuahua mix (you know that they're meaner than a pitbull).
The next time was also a Sunday morning but this time, I was in Garrison, TX. The owners, an E. Indian couple, were in the store. I was on the reveal portion. I came out of the bathroom and the wife was at the door asking me if everything was good. I told her it was but I hadn't seen a condom machine in a bathroom since like the 80s. She asks if they should take it down. I said no since I didn't see a rule against it. She then proceeds to tell me that I could have anything in the display. I decline. She then tells me that they have chicken. I still decline and tell her that I don't eat when I'm working because of my IBS. She then tells me to go on and get some because SHE KNOWS HOW YOU PEOPLE LOVE CHICKEN! I just stood with my mouth open. I said excuse me can you repeat that. She repeats it. I walk off. I make my purchase and go to the truck. I start to pull out to get my gas when she comes out with a huge bottle of smart water. I take it because I didn't have any water with me and the evaluation was over. I thank her and pull to the pump. I finish and get in. Her husband comes out eating chips in a big bag. He starts telling me thank you and all. He then tells me that this is his bag of chips and pulls out a identical bag from behind him. I believe they were a jalapeño flavored chip and gives them to me. He then proceeds to tell me that HE KNOWS HOW YOU PEOPLE LOVE HOT CHIPS! Dang! A RACISM 2FER! The thing is that you can look at them and see that they genuinely had no malice when they said. If they did, I would have found stuff to report on them.

Your demand for racism is not met with supply but can always try to thing you are a victim of racism when giving no grace to people who do not have racist intent. The racists i have known, there are a 100 reasons not to like them and not one is the color of skin.

The most recent and egregious racism I've seen lately is the one of the video of the black woman dressing as Mr Clean for Halloween and then saying that she did it purely because of racism, shove it in your face.

Well this was not a shop, but it is my only experience with racism, so here goes...

Many years ago I (a Caucasian female) was dating an Asian male. He was originally from Taiwan, his parents were from Mainland China, and he came to America at age six. We dated casually for a couple of months. We met a few of each others' friends, but not family members as it had not gotten that serious. One night we go out to an authentic Chinese restaurant. This was a fairly busy night, most tables were full. I am the only Caucasian woman in the place. About half the tables are full of Asian families or couples. The other half are couples with Caucasian men with their Asian female companions. We get the worst table right next to the bathrooms. The waitress sneers at me and shouts "We no have English menu for you!". My boyfriend tells her (in flawless Mandarin Chinese) that we don't need one. The whole meal, I get the stink-eye, plates are slammed down, etc. The staff was so nice and deferential to the Caucasian men. The waitress keeps talking to my boyfriend in Chinese while looking at me. He says he'll tell me later what she said. After we leave, he would not tell me. I never went back. Why was a Caucasian woman so hated when Caucasian men were not? I have never figured this out.

As near as i can figure it out another race just doesn't want another race "poaching" eligible men they want for their sisters, cousins, friends or family. A white man by virtue of perceived financial condition is a plus, women are not, no matter if they make more. Utube is full of the same hatred by blacks and considered ok but if a white person expressed concern they would be deemed a white supremacist and racist. The "rules" don't make sense but there they are. This is based on my personal observations with people from different races as well as other information. You may not agree in whole but I have done my best to be objective.

Years ago, a woman in a high position at work would address a coworker as "Miss Ann.". Totally "not acceptable."

@Madetoshop wrote:

Years ago, a woman in a high position at work would address a coworker as "Miss Ann.". Totally "not acceptable."

Can you explain that one?

I’m not getting the Problem with Miss Ann



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 11/11/2023 06:16PM by prince.

@prince wrote:

I’m not getting the Problem with Miss Ann

I didn't get it either, but just found this on Wikipedia:

Miss Ann is an expression used inside the African-American community to refer to a European-American woman (or sometimes a black woman) who is arrogant and condescending in her attitude.

The characteristics associated with someone called a "Miss Ann" include being considered "uppity", or in the case of a black woman, "acting white".[1]

Like the male counterpart term, Mister Charlie, the term Miss Ann was once common among many African-Americans. It was a pejorative way of commenting on imperious behaviour from white women, particularly when it came with racist undertones. It is seldom used among young African-Americans today, instead the term “Karen” has come into further usage amongst people of all races in the United States.[2]

I thought this was a thread about worst experiences while shopping, not worst experiences in life.

Maybe this goes to the general chat subforum, moderator?

@tigerdave wrote:

@prince wrote:

I’m not getting the Problem with Miss Ann

I didn't get it either, but just found this on Wikipedia:

Miss Ann is an expression used inside the African-American community to refer to a European-American woman (or sometimes a black woman) who is arrogant and condescending in her attitude.

The characteristics associated with someone called a "Miss Ann" include being considered "uppity", or in the case of a black woman, "acting white".[1]

Like the male counterpart term, Mister Charlie, the term Miss Ann was once common among many African-Americans. It was a pejorative way of commenting on imperious behaviour from white women, particularly when it came with racist undertones. It is seldom used among young African-Americans today, instead the term “Karen” has come into further usage amongst people of all races in the United States.[2]

The Wikipedia page is false.

@tigerdave thanks for that research.

@tstewart3. What would be the correct info?

Any way, I wondered why Miss Anne was a problem because many school staff ask to be called Miss followed by their first name.
I assumed the person in @Madetoshop 's example was named Anne.



Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 11/11/2023 10:44PM by prince.

Unrelated to the Miss Ann definition, I actually like it when people call me "Miss [my name]". It's very southern and cute!

@BarefootBliss wrote:

I thought this was a thread about worst experiences while shopping, not worst experiences in life.

Maybe this goes to the general chat subforum, moderator?

I intended for it to be shopping but it's taken a different path.

Conversations do tend to go in various directions. Makes it more fun.

My most uncomfortable mysteryshop was in a McDonalds where a couple had a dispute. Screaming, throwing things.
I and most customers managed to quietly slip out the door. Police came but I don't anything else.

One of my worst experiences was when I had an associate in a very busy cell phone store who stuttered terribly and I could hardly control myself. I felt terrible for the fellow, but I just couldn't stifle the uncomfortable feeling that I just wanted to laugh out loud. (Think Porky Pig bad with facial contortions etc) I was finishing his sentences for him..YIKES..I just wanted to leave. I think they were short staffed and just asked the guy to fill in to help. He should not have been put in that position. Everyone was staring at him. It was sooo uncomfortable. I think my lip was nearly bleeding by the time I left there.

Edited to add: I wasn't so much wanting to laugh at the guy as I was at myself for being talked into doing this location in the first place and ending up with this situation. Just so y'all don't think I'm heartless.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 11/12/2023 12:09AM by MsJudi.

Karen is a disparaging racist term for a white middle aged woman, no amount of usage is going to change that.
This does lead to my most uncomfortable shopping experience. I was shopping a new HD. Google directions lead me to a side entrance with a stoppage because 3 trucks ahead another pickup was blocking the driveway/parking. By the time i realized I was blocked in 3 cars/trucks behind me, 3 in front and couldn't go anywhere. Finally 2 trucks edged out of the parking and we edged by waiting more than 10 minutes. 2 guys 1 black, 1 Hispanic just standing next to their truck in the driveway next to truck blocking, not concerned. And of course a lot of honking. I rolled down my window asked if they needed help, maybe a dead battery or something i could help with. The black guy sticks his hand down his pants and started masturbating saying "You want some of this Karen?" while the Hispanic side kick pointed the cell phone like he filming and say "You'll look good on Facebook". I couldn't believe it and it was in the beginning when the name Karen was used I didn't know what it really meant. I took a deep breath, rolled up my window and left. I had never heard the Karen remark before. Later I found out it was a racist slur against white women. The whole thing just unsettled me but name is meant to intimidate white women. I don't think we need to relive the amount of times fake racism is used as intimidation. The amount of times a white person's life gets destroyed because a black person screams racism and then the real facts come out. Other victims come forward, it's found to be a pattern but by that point none pays attention.

I live in a sundown town, the folks in the town say it "used to be a sundown town" but the reality is that nothing has actually changed (and I would not have purchased this property if I had known). The folks here don't see "Karen" as a racist slur, so much as a way to intimidate and control women who talk back or ask them questions. I personally don't care, they can't control me, I'm going to argue anyway, I'm meaner than all of them.

I am a mechanic, I did it for a living for over 30 years. I prefer "Automotive Technician" since I went to college to learn my trade, but I'm just as happy if you call me a mechanic. I've worked on everything from portable generators to heavy equipment. When I first graduated from college and was working full time, I quite often offered to help someone standing next to their broken down car, only to be told to go straight to hell. So I quit doing that. I will give food or clothing to a homeless person or a panhandler because they ask, usually nicely. And some at least pretend to be thankful, even though I watch them throw the food away as I leave. I am usually cash poor, so I can't hand them money unless it's the spare change my son drops in the door handles of the car. But I almost always have a spare jacket, sweater, or scarf, and something to snack on in the car that is almost never sweets. And I'm more than happy to give them to someone in need, if they will use them.