OK, so I'm in the 10 items or less checkout line at the grocery store, with 5 items.

The woman in front of me, riding in an electric chair, with a 5-year-old in tow, proceeds to put 35 items on the belt (I counted), including 7 bags of produce which have to be identified and weighed, and one item that needs a manager to price check it. So I'm kind of pissed standing there because this violates my sense of fairplay, following the rules and not to mention making me wait seemingly forever.

The clerk gives me a sympathtic look, but doesn't say or do anything.

And I don't say anything, mostly because she's in this electric chair. If I had said something I would have probably felt like a jerk. And by not saying anything I felt like a smuck. What would you do?

Was the "electric chair" a wheelchair or one of those motorized carts people sit in to shop? If it was the former I would have fumed quietly, if it was the latter I would have said something. I probably would have addressed the cashier and said, "I'm sorry, can you tell me where the express lane is since I obviously got in the wrong line with my five items."

If I could find a shorter line, I'd join it because this would usually be the fastest and least disturbing option.

Another option would be to find a manager, explain the situation at the quick check out, and ask him/her to check you out at an empty register. This will call attention to the problem without actually asking anyone to confront the customer in the wheel chair. I don't see any advantage to confronting the customer myself. I believe it's up to the store to enforce the checkout limit, but whether or not they do it is up to them. I would also let them know If this is enough of a problem that I wouldn't want to continue shopping their store.

Many years ago I worked my way through college checking groceries for JW Weingarten's. For the youngsters among us, Weingarten's was a supermarket chain headquartered in Houston that was gobbled up by Safeway in the early 80's. The manager I worked for was a great believer in the 10-items-or-less cash register and he refused to allow that register to be slowed down by people who either unwittingly or deliberately got into the wrong line. Cashiers working the 10 or less register were instructed to look ahead at customers in line and count items. If a customer had more than 12 items, we were to gently call to them (before they unloaded the groceries if possible) that we were allowed to check only 10 items at this register. Whether deliberate or not, almost all customers move to another register when they are directly told by the cashier in a nice tone of voice. If a customer with too many items did not immediately move to another line, we were instructed to signal our manager. It only happened a couple of times during my 4 years of working there. The manager was a big jolly guy with a smooth way of talking. He would come to the register and walk to the customer. In a friendly, helpful way, he would say "Oh, hi, dear, let me help you. We've gotten you in the wrong line. I need to keep the 10 items or less line moving fast for people with just a couple of items. Let me help move you to another line." If they protested that they were in a hurry, he would say "I'll help, and we'll get you out of here in a hurry." He would physically wheel their basket to another line and help unload the basket at the new register, staying with them while it was checked out. Then he would either call a carryout boy (in those days only boys were carryouts, we girls weren't recognized as capable of wheeling groceries out for customers) or he would carry out the groceries himself. Word got around and we got fewer and fewer people bringing big orders to the fast line.

I would have plugged in her electric chair and set it to "high"

A major pet peeve omine is people who are seemingly in their own universe and do not look around to see how best to deal with a situation that would benefit everyone. I observe that this is increasingly the case. To my mind, our culture is becoming more and more self involved and less and less considerate of others. This sounds like an example of the above and makes me want to explode. At my local, smaller grocery store they had to post a sign indicating that if you do not need an electric cart please do not take one. Yes, I realize that many people have mobility problems do need them. I heard a comic say recently something like, "well it seems like a lot of people lately are saying, hey I have been walking for 60 years, that's enough. I am sitting from now on". (:

Lots of good answers here. Thanks.

Cettie's probably was the best. And it was a motorized cart, not chair, otherwise I would have been sorely temped to turn up the juice.

I also agree with cynb that it seems we're living in a more and more self-absorbed age. You see it everywhere, but especially in stores and on the road.

Finally, I forgot to mention one of the other parts to the story. After about every fifth item, the woman in front of me would stop what she was doing to yell at her 5-year-old, who was, as far as I could tell, just quietly playing with a doll. She was truly a piece of work.

Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 01/06/2013 08:08AM by sportsed1.

OK, I want to rant. The thing that REALLY bothers me when I am checking out in a grocery store? When the store is a little crowded with lines at the checkout, customers standing both in the regular lines and in the 10 or less line. A customer with 5 or 6 items sees the line of other customers with 5 or 6 items at the 10 or less and doesn't want to wait in line. He goes to the head of one of the regular lines and pounces on the first customer in line, asking "Mind if I go ahead of you? I only have 5." or "With such a small order, I shouldn't have to wait behind all these big orders. Can I go in front of you?" I see people in front of me say OK all the time and it irritates me. If I'm the one who is asked, I say (in a mild, friendly tone) that I do mind and I suggest the 10 or less. Usually the person answers "Yes, there is a 10 or less, but I don't want to wait." Guess if they are nervy enough to ask, they are nervy enough to argue. I usually smile and say "I understand that, I hate to wait, too. I would try the 10 or less. That line looks much shorter." I can't tell you how many times the other customers in line have said "Good job" and "thank you" - with comments about how they find that type of situation difficult and they always feel "used."

I hate it, too!!! Geesh.

Have you seen the picture that was going around awhile ago that shows a sign in a store with hands showing the number of fingers for whatever the limit is?

Anyway, one or two items over is one thing... more than double the limit?! I like the one about saying, loudly, "Gee, I must've gotten in the wrong line ~ I thought this was the Express Lane?"

And in traffic, too... like the people in the lanes going straight, who decide at the last minute they want to make a left turn, and holding up everyone behind them waiting for the on-coming traffic to clear. Usually they can't go until the yellow light comes up, and sometimes they go on the red!

So many people think they have the right to inconvenience others, breaking whatever rules to do so, just because *they* made a mistake and don't want to inconvenience themselves.

About people with a couple items asking if they can "take cuts" in line? Yeah, that's nervy. I've been in that situation, and sometimes the people ahead with huge carts *offer* to let me go first with my couple of things, and that's very nice. But I would NEVER actually *ask*!

Then there was the time I was at Wal-Mart in the middle of the night. The only time I don't mind shopping there ~ I HATE the huge crowds and not being able to find a place to park. I have a disabled parking permit, and during the day, they're almost always all taken. My disability makes it difficult for me to walk long distances, so I will just leave. After a couple times of that, I simply refuse to go during the daytime. In the middle of the night, parking and crowds just aren't a problem (obviously). And it's only about five minutes away, so if I need some little thing or two, that's where I'll go. I do my main shopping elsewhere, and I'm a night-owl anyway. I can walk long distances in the store without pain using a shopping cart to walk with ~ so I use a shopping cart even when I'm just getting a couple of things. I won't use the ride-in carts as long as I can walk comfortably pushing a shopping cart.

OK... so now to the story... I was there picking up a few things... only three or four items. I was heading to the single open checkstand, I was almost there... and from the other direction comes this guy with a cart FULL of stuff. He spots me, and literally *races* to the checkstand so he can beat me to it. I kid you not ~ this guy practically ran to get there ahead of me. I sped up a little, too, just to see what he would do, and he ran faster. I was appalled. Now, yes, that's his right and all that, but it just felt really rude. I guess chivalry really is dead! Although even if it had been another woman, it would have seemed rude.

If someone is directly in line behind me with a small number of items I will always have them go before me. To me that is not changing the dynamics or making the person behind them wait any longer. The idea of someone just walking over and stating they are in a hurry really rubs me the wrong way. They do not know me any better than I know them and have no reason to assume their time is more valuable than mine.

It all boils down to the ridiculous sense of privilege and self-importance that is prevalent these days. I've become more vocal in the last few years. On the Friday before Christmas we had a surprise snowstorm. While the roads were not too bad, it was so fast and furious that businesses were behind on clearing their lots and sidewalks. Stepping into the crosswalk at the grocery store I slipped and almost fell. It happened to be at the same time a woman in a mini-van ran the stop sign and pulled down the same lane as my car. She got out of her car with a little girl who was about 7 or 8 and I was not going to say anything with her daughter there. The woman left her daughter at the van and I was able to speak with her alone. I asked her how she would have felt if it had been her daughter in the crosswalk and someone had run that stop sign. She was shocked, but at least she apologized sincerely.

So my hip 70 plus father goes to a weekly music jam session in Utah where the participants take turns playing a piece of music they've been working on. My dad really looks forward all week long to this event. It's one of his few social activities as he is a full-time caretaker for my mother. Whenever he has a few spare moments, he researches his musical selections and practices different arrangements. Then when the evening of the event rolls around, he carefully dresses and packs up his equipment and heads out the door smiling.

He came home early this last week. While one of his friends was playing and singing, a new participant took a lengthy call on her cell phone, and was laughing and commenting loudly all through the performance, drowning out the guitar and the singer. At the end of the piece, Dad packed up all his stuff and got ready to leave, even though he was up next. He was fuming. Just as he's leaving the door, the woman finishes her call and exclaims to the room at large, "I just got a call from Idaho!"

Puhleeze. Realllly? Idaho? Big wow. Dad said he wanted to turn around and tell her that he didn't care if she got a call from freaking New Zealand. I wish he had. It broke my heart a little to see his one and only fun time screwed up someone so ignorant and self-absorbed.

Seems to me this attitude is relatively new, the last few years, but getting rapidly worse. Any theories about this? I truly do not understand.

I believe I see more and more people on the phone in public. It seems to be quite acceptable to carry on a private conversation in a loud voice in a public place. Can these people not function without calling someone or taking a call? Is this some kind of emotional addiction I don't understand? Are we losing our sense of personal independence by constantly consulting everyone we know about everything we do? Do you have answers to these questions? I don't.

Have you ever entered a stall in a restroom at work with someone already in the stall next to you? Suddenly they start to talk to you.....after answering, you realize they have just phoned someone on their cell phone while sitting on

I shouldn't have gotten us started talking about people being completely rude and/or stupid with their phones. Sometimes the use of cell phones is just plain ridiculous. And yes, Austin, I've made a fool of myself talking to someone in the restroom who really wasn't talking to me. C'mon, who makes a call when they are on the potty?!

And I really hate cell phone yakkers in restaurants. I want to relax and enjoy, not be a third party to someone else's annoying conversation that could have waited until later.

Yes, Mary, I do think it is some kind of an addiction. I think the cell phone has taken the place of a binky or a security blanket or a cigarette. It's a social prop. People don't know what to do with themselves for a few quiet seconds, and they have to grab for that stupid phone. It's a nervous habit.

The really maddening thing is that well over 75% of the conversations I overhear are discussions that should have: 1)never transpired in the first place, 2)been conducted via text or email, or 3)been taken outside or somewhere private.

Oh, and have you ever tried to place an order at a Sonic Drive-In where the people in the vehicles on either side of you were yakking loudly on their cell phones? Aaaaargh!

Back to the 10 items or less....when I'm at a small place like CVS or Walgreens and not in a hurry, and someone comes up with a couple of items, I'll tell them to go ahead. But sometimes another person comes up after that and I don't tell them to go ahead. Of course, they haven't seen what I did for the person ahead of me. Can't win!

I'm not sorry to see a rant on rudeness and at least one way people stand up to it.

I'm a firm believer in the idea that if you ignore rudeness or any inappropriate behavior, then you are complicit in propagating it further. I like to be super polite in confronting the rudeness. If they say, I just have a few items (such as in a supermarket line), I can smile and say politely, I just have a few items myself and someone is just dieing for the stuff I am now buying. Do you mind if I get home to then?

Anyone have some good stories?

I should probably just stay quiet, but my husband was in a power wheelchair for 20 years. Maybe some stores are different, but in the grocery nearest to us, wheelchairs that large can't fit through a regular check-out lane. To get him to the other end of the check stand I had to take him all the way to the other side of the store and back again on the other side. Then I'd do that process in reverse, but by myself this time, to get back to the check stand and pay for my groceries. I'm not saying that there aren't people who take advantage, and I'm certainly not saying that there aren't rude and self-important people in wheelchairs, but in many cases the 'relaxation' of policy is not only tolerated, but mandated by law just to make it possible for those with serious disabilities to have some semblance of a normal life and some small ability to do something useful for themselves. Sometimes peple need to try to put themselves in anothers place. We seriously had people be rude or even verbally cruel to him becaause he was in their way. Just saying.
Charlene

I should probably just stay quiet, but my husband was in a power wheelchair for 20 years. Maybe some stores are different, but in the grocery nearest to us, wheelchairs that large can't fit through a regular check-out lane. To get him to the other end of the check stand I had to take him all the way to the other side of the store and back again on the other side. Then I'd do that process in reverse, but by myself this time, to get back to the check stand and pay for my groceries. I'm not saying that there aren't people who take advantage, and I'm certainly not saying that there aren't rude and self-important people in wheelchairs, but in many cases the 'relaxation' of policy is not only tolerated, but mandated by law just to make it possible for those with serious disabilities to have some semblance of a normal life and some small ability to do something useful for themselves. Sometimes peple need to try to put themselves in anothers place. We seriously had people be rude or even verbally cruel to him because he was in their way. Just saying.
Charlene

MDavisnowell Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I believe I see more and more people on the phone
> in public. It seems to be quite acceptable to
> carry on a private conversation in a loud voice in
> a public place. Can these people not function
> without calling someone or taking a call? Is this
> some kind of emotional addiction I don't
> understand? Are we losing our sense of personal
> independence by constantly consulting everyone we
> know about everything we do? Do you have answers
> to these questions? I don't.

i have signs in some stores saying 50cents extra if you are using cell phone at the register

I am a big supporter of the ADA and would never dream of parking in a handicapped spot or in any way inhibiting or being abusive to someone in a wheelchair. In fact, while I was a Special Events Coordinator in the 80's, I was the first one to establish handicapped parking at my events and we were not obligated to do it because of any law. My understanding has always been that the handicapped want independence and the goal is to be treated like others. Considering the large percentage of the population that generally feels entitled and will take advantage of others, there must be at least some people in wheelchairs that fall into that category. Based on the OP, I cannot see a legitimate reason for the woman mentioned to have behaved so abominably and I cannot see why she should just be given a pass.

My husband, who is partially disabled, depends upon using mobility scooters at stores to get around. It is getting more and more difficult to find a store that has one available for his use because so many others are using them now - both legitimately and not. It has become somewhat of a logistical nightmare now to try to send him to the store for anything because we can't count on a scooter being available. I have to accompany him at all times now in case there isn't one so I can go in while he waits in the car. It's not always easy for me, either, due to my flare-ups with fibromyalgia, so it sometimes would be a true relief to send him in instead, especially after a long hard day of mystery shopping.

I know that there are hidden disabilities, but it's hard to take when another shopper sees either me or my husband get out of our vehicle and note that we are parked in a handicapped spot, and they RUN into the store to ensure that they grab the last remaining scooter before we can make our way into the store.

Not being able to count on the availability of these scooters adds to my husband's sense of frustration with his situation. He would like to be more interdependent and to feel as though he were making a contribution to our family's efforts in some small way. It saddens me that this is being taken away from him by selfish uncaring people.

Sigh. I hear that. It reminds me of my other pet hate - so it's time for another rant! What about those who are not disabled but use the handicapped parking spaces? That makes me furious! I hope that it is policed better in other parts of the country than it is here because, while I constantly hear people complaining about those who use handicapped parking spaces but do not have the HC license plates or the temporary CH sticker, it doesn't seem to be policed. And if someone does get a ticket for it, its so minor its like getting a parking ticket .... but you are far less likely to be cited for parking in a handicapped space than for parking next to a meter that has run out. And - OK now I'm REALLY ranting, I work with a woman who has always hated walking even 20 feet from her vehicle. When her handicapped father died in 2005, she came back from the funeral with his HC sticker (they call it a sticker, it's actually a hanging tab that attaches to your rear view mirror). When it expired in 2009, she renewed it in his name, changing his address to hers. If I knew where to report it (and that I could do it anonymously - this woman would retaliate!), I would report it. Oh - just so everyone knows, it's not that people are beating me to a handicapped parking space. I am not disabled and I do not use the spaces. I just feel for those who really need them and they may not be available because who don't need them are using them. I had a temporary HC permit briefly right before my husband died. He was very ill and disabled. But we never used the disabled space - my husband felt there were others who were worse off than him so he refused to take a disabled space. When he died, I threw it away, so it was never used.


edited for spelling - OK, this time I didn't do it - auto correct is doing weird things! I guess I'm going to have to start previewing before submitting!

Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 01/12/2013 11:01PM by AustinMom.

Around here parking in a handicapped space is taken very seriously and the fines are substantial. Certainly enough that someone wouldn't think about doing it twice. I think there are also some serious fines for abusing the stickers, such as use by a non-disabled family member. It is often hard to tell if a person is disabled since some disabilities do not require the use of any assistance walking or they come and go. However, when I saw a teenager literally jump out of a Jeep Cherokee and practically skip into the store, that was just a bit obvious.

AustinMom Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
>I work with a
> woman who has always hated walking even 20 feet
> from her vehicle. When her handicapped father
> died in 2005, she came back from the funeral with
> his HC sticker (they call it a sticker, it's
> actually a hanging tab that attaches to your rear
> view mirror). When it expired in 2009, she
> renewed it in his name, changing his address to
> hers. If I knew where to report it (and that I
> could do it anonymously - this woman would
> retaliate!), I would report it.

I'm sure that each state has its own entity that handles issuing the permits. Here in my area, it's the Department of Licensing. As they state on their website, "It's illegal for anyone else to use your disabled parking placard, tabs, or license plates if you're not in the vehicle. You can't let your friends or family borrow them for their own use."

I found out today through a quick internet search that there is an organization out there called HandicappedFraud.org whose purpose is to stop such abuses. A report will be generated and sent to each state's DMV. If abuse is detected, fines may be issued, and placards revoked. Both of these will bring awareness and change to this rampant problem. When violators are caught red-handed, an officer can issue a ticket for $250.00 - $3,000.00 and they can be jailed for up to six months.

Does anyone have a theory why this rise of rudeness at least in this country, I do not get it. The phone thing. The other day I was at a restaurant with my sister . Across the way I observe what seemed to be an older woman and her 40 yr old son. She was on the phone the entire time they were having lunch. Now perhaps she was on the foreign relations commitee giving urgent advice to the president, but I doubt it. Also young mothers, dragging their toddlers along as they blab on the phone. Take the time to bond with your kids!! Please. I donot get it. Some thoughts please.

shopgal Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------

> I'm sure that each state has its own entity that
> handles issuing the permits. Here in my area, it's
> the Department of Licensing. As they state on
> their website, "It's illegal for anyone else to
> use your disabled parking placard, tabs, or
> license plates if you're not in the vehicle. You
> can't let your friends or family borrow them for
> their own use."
>
> I found out today through a quick internet search
> that there is an organization out there called
> HandicappedFraud.org whose purpose is to stop such
> abuses. A report will be generated and sent to
> each state's DMV. If abuse is detected, fines may
> be issued, and placards revoked. Both of these
> will bring awareness and change to this rampant
> problem. When violators are caught red-handed, an
> officer can issue a ticket for $250.00 - $3,000.00
> and they can be jailed for up to six months.


My state has the same laws but those law are not being enforced. And I have reported violations through HandicappedFraud.org before. When you report, the issue you are reporting is shown online line in a list of forum posts. I don't know whether it is actually reported to each state's DMV as they say or not. At one time 6 of us were reporting our co-worker daily (the one I posted about above). After 3 months of daily posts from each of us, we ceased to believe it was being reported and stopped. Or, if it was being reported, our state must have thrown the report in the shreader rather than acting on it.

AustinMom Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> My state has the same laws but those law are not
> being enforced. And I have reported violations
> through HandicappedFraud.org before. When you
> report, the issue you are reporting is shown
> online line in a list of forum posts. I don't
> know whether it is actually reported to each
> state's DMV as they say or not. At one time 6 of
> us were reporting our co-worker daily (the one I
> posted about above). After 3 months of daily
> posts from each of us, we ceased to believe it was
> being reported and stopped. Or, if it was being
> reported, our state must have thrown the report in
> the shreader rather than acting on it.

Well, that's a bummer. I had hoped that there would be some kind of helpful advocate out there. I apologize to all for the ineffectual information I provided regarding this online resource. I wonder if sending a letter directly to the DMV would make a difference.

No, we were all very hopeful, like you, when we found it - but we lost hope when we saw no result whatsoever. I think the problem is that there is a disconnect about who exactly is to enforce the handicapped parking laws and how they are staffed to do it. The DMV makes the statewide rules and controls the licensing requirements. The licenses are issued through the County Tax Assessor-Collector offices. Enforcement is left up to local police forces which say they have no staffing to follow up on the parking violations. It appears they don't even follow up on reported violations. sigh.