I've been writing a book for some time and I am looking for readers for the first three chapters, which are 44 pages double spaced on my computer. This is a fact based fictional work with a time frame of approximately 1920 to the present day and set mainly in Spiro, Oklahoma, and Parker County, Texas. Because it is a fact based work, characters are introduced in the book as they appear in historical sequence as opposed to the normal current literary practice of introducing most major characters right away.

My purpose in seeking readers is to determine if the reader becomes engrossed in the story in the first 44 pages, which represents approximately 16% of the book. I am not looking for an editor and I am not open to grammatical corrections. I am seeking unbiased opinions as to whether the book is interesting.

If you are not engrossed for 44 pages I would appreciate knowing where you lost interest. Where did you stop reading and lay it aside?

I can email the material if you pm me your addy. I'm hoping several of you will be interested and your help will be very much appreciated.

You are a very helpful, kind person on this forum and I would love to do something for you in return. I can't get to read it until Sunday evening. Is that too late? I will pm you my email address in case it isn't.

I would also love to read it.....but this week is tough. I'm in Lafayette visiting family and will drive from here on Monday to NOLA.......and back to Austin on Thursday. How quickly are you wanting feedback?

Kim, I have already emailed you the material. Sunday or even later will be fine. Getting feedback from readers is extremely important to me and I can allow as much time as you need. Anyone who can read in the next couple of weeks will be welcomed and appreciated. Thank you for your kind comments.

Austin, how about any time in the next couple of weeks? Send me your addy and I'll send you the material. If you can't get to it, I understand. Thanks for your interest.

Would be happy to read your material and give you some feedback! How long will I have to wait to read the rest of it? Don't want to wait years to get the rest of the story!

I would love to help you. My schedule is really crazy right now, but I will find the time!

Hello rovergirl, I haven't made queries on an agent or a publisher but the book has been through more than ten revisions and it is basically complete. It is over 60,000 words now, which is a good length.

I need feedback from readers as to the interest sustained in the first three chapters before I consider myself "ready to publish". If the first three chapters don't set the hook hard, I'll need to do more work on that part of the book before I make a move on an agent or publisher.

For anyone on the forum who reads for me and wants the rest of the book, I'll send it along now by email. I'm hoping to pick up twenty five readers here, which should give me a good cross section.

Gaby, pm me your email addy and I'll send it right away. Thanks for your interest.

To all: I've already sent out material to eleven readers; thank you so much. If any of you want to discuss the material here, feel free. It would be helpful to read what you have to say to one another about the book. Don't worry about hurting my feelings; I am beyond being damaged. Also, I would be happy to provide a summary of the rest of the book, or email a complete copy to any of you who read for me and are interested.

People....

READ THE BOOK!!!!! You will not be sorry.

I need to know what happens next!!!!!


Sitting here patiently waiting.....

Hi Mary,
First off, if you are one of Mary's readers, please finish reading her chapters before you read my comments. I don't want to taint anyone's responses.

Kudos, Mary. I entertain the idea that I have a book in me somewhere, but I think I really am only capable of short stories!

I enjoyed reading your first chapters. I will look forward to reading the rest of the book.

Here is my off the cuff commentary - I'll try to give you the thoughts I had while I was reading and not going back to re read and over analyze it.

Your prologue was good - it quickly set a tone and made me think this could be an intriguing book to read. If I picked up a book at an airport to read on the plane and read that prologue, I would buy it.

I like your set up of the story where the father makes the son do the honorable thing - i could visualize a time when this scene would have played out exactly the way you wrote it. My interest continued to be piqued.

I lost some interest and felt things dragged a little when we got to the descriptions of the house they moved into. I thought I was getting too much detail even though I knew you were setting the scene. I wanted less description of their surroundings and more information about Ivor and His wife and his family. I know you are covering a big stretch of time in this book, but they get married, have 3 kids, live together long enough for Ivor to become dissatisfied in less than 2 chapters? Of course I don't know where the story is going, I guess I wanted to know a little more about Ivor and his family and less about their surroundings.

It took me a bit to adjust to the matter of fact, sort of monotone narration style. My family history isn't far from this story, so I understand completely how people from this type of upbringing can deliver a dissertation about what they ate for breakfast in the same voice that they will tell you they killed someone. I it took me a couple chapters to get the style and tone of the book. The problem is, you have a violent incident occur that changed the course of events for all of the characters in the book, yet it doesn't quite give me that OMG moment where I am now really interested in the characters and what is going to happen to them next.

Ivor decides he needs to leave out of fear of another incident happening, is that him just wanting to get away from the responsibilities and disappointments of his life or has something happened to solidify that fear? At this point I am not sure I am really invested in these characters.

I hope this commentary helps. I am interested to see others commentaries to see what their thoughts are.

To answer your question, I think you have gotten the fish to nibble at the bait, but you didn't quite set the hook. At least on the first 4 chapters.

Rovergirl, thank you for your comments. I'm going to think about what I need to do to get you more invested in Ivor early in the book. I'm sensing a disconnect with Ivor that's disappointing, and I think I need to address that. In response to other reader comments, I have already rewritten the description of the things they moved to tighten that up.

Please clarify:
1. Did the physical description of the design and condition of the house drag for you, or was it
2. The description of what they moved into the house, or was it
3. The description of what they did to fix the house up?

Thank you for your kind comment about the prologue. I've made some very minor changes there and I believe it's better now.

Kim, thanks. The book is on the way, you should have it by now. Enjoy, and let me know where it needs work.

I think it was the description of what they moved to the house. I was interested in what they did to the house and liked how you included the slide and the kids enjoyment of it. By the time it progressed to what was moved, I was sort of looking for something to happen.

I am not sure about the disconnect with your main character - I was interested when he was courting and then forced to marry. He is a bit of a rogue, but I didn't have enough background to consider he was a likeable rogue. Obviously he was trapped by his wife into marriage, but he seemed to care about her and the children. I just didn't have enough information about him to like him or dislike him.

I should have cared more about the fight and it's outcome. I wasn't invested in Ivor and his family enough to get to concerned about him or the outcome this early in the book.

Having said all of that, there have been many books I have read that I didn't get really hooked until I was 40 or 50 pages into the book. Oz was a good example of this, I wanted to quit reading it but didn't because it was a lot of money to pay for a book. And then it just clicked and I couldn't put it down.

Mary, I would adore reading your chapters, even if you've received as much feedback as you were hoping for. I've been contemplating doing something like this myself. I'm PMing you now.

Mary, I enlist

Mary,
I have been thinking about your story and wondering what is going to happen, would really like to read further.

rovergirl, Fantastic! I'll send you the current revision of the entire book. I appreciate the comments you made about the first part of the book and I'm thinking about what I can do to make it better. Thanks for your interest.

Thanks everyone, we are now up to 21 readers on the book and helpful comments are coming in. Feel free to comment in the open forum, or if you prefer I also welcome private comments. Don't be concerned you'll hurt my feelings, I think I'm rock solid. I'm really excited to have so many forum members reading for me. I thought the forum would be a source of careful readers with sharp comprehension, and I was right.

Remember, you can request the entire book if you want it.

Tomorrow August 4 will be two weeks from the original post. Twenty three members offered to read the material (thank you thank you!) and thirteen have responded either on the forum or by private message. Several members requested the entire book and I happily sent it on to them. Based on suggestions, I have made several changes which I believe resulted in a better book. Thanks to all of you who read and responded so far. Several indicated it might take a while before they had time to read; please send your comments on to me or post them on this thread at your convenience. Love y'all for helping me out / Mary

I read the initial piece and loved the narration style. It has stuck with me, and I find myself wanting to hear it more. I have been dying to know what happens and would really like to read the rest. Thanks, Mary!

If you would like to add one more, count me in.

Bayberry, that's good to hear. I'm sending you the currently revised copy (still working on it).

Jess T, good for you, great for me. Send me a PM with your email address and I'll send it right to you. Look in the upper right hand corner of this post and you'll see a blue PM. Click on that and you can send me a private message with your email. Thanks / Mary

Done, and thank you.

I seriously wish I had time to read it right now but I'm swamped. Might have to wait until it's published!

I was under the impression you had enough readers, so I didn't request it. But I'd love to help you if you still need it.

LJ, I'd love to have you read. Send me your email addy in a private message. Do you want just Chapters 1-2-3 or do you want the whole thing? It's not a long book, and I think you'll find it an easy read. I'm still working on it and I'm primarily interested in whether it grabs you and holds you, but I'm open to any kind of suggestions. I've already received a lot of great suggestions and ideas from my readers that will make the book better and I'm working on revisions every day. No such thing as too much feedback. Thanks / Mary

PS: If you opt for the entire book, please STOP after Chapters 1-2-3 and tell me if you're hooked before you go on.

Mary, I'll read the rest of the book.