See thread title.

In my opinion, the forum has changed a lot since I first joined it. There is too much drama and I feel many are taking things the wrong way and lashing out in retaliation.

I can definitely understand why you might feel that way, however IMO it's just a handful of people, who are repeatedly causing the discord.

(heart)

I firmly believe that there are a number of people on this forum who are so opinionated that they feel they must post and offer negative comments. Or at the minimum argue and then get very unhappy and ramp up the argument because that's what they enjoy.

This attitude has driven me from many forums because, to be honest, I don't want to live my life in the negative. If lucky, I'll only be on this planet for 90 years or so. Every minute spent reading negative things, or being negative takes away from my enjoyment of this short life.

The forum has changed a lot since I joined and there are very few threads I enjoy reading. I visit this forum infrequently now because of it.

I can't understand why people feel they need to post every single little thing, repetitively and strongly believe that their opinion is the only and correct opinion on the planet.
I can't understand why people can't enjoy life and want to live in the negative.
It drives. Me nuts to see people post and blast people. Don't post! If you're not adding to a discussion, don't post. It's simple.

I honestly would prefer that Jacob identify the negative people, give them a warning and then eventually ban them. Yes, this would be subjective, but a positive and fun forum is more a community than one of argumentative people who love to be negative.

I think the entire world is stressed out lately between the economy, political situation, and terrorism on the rampage and this is contributing to people being thin-skinned and touchy. The news is just constantly bad these days, there's not much going on to generate optimism and hope. People lash out at the least little thing and have lost their ability to "make nice." Shoppers who think they have been wronged by an MSC or are frustrated with fees are looking for someone to blame. So threads are started attacking MSC's in hateful ways -- instead of trying to work things out with the MSC. When they aren't met with tea and sympathy, they start name calling. Shoppers who thought this was a way to make a lot of FUN! EASY! money are wondering where all the good shops are -- and get testy when told "we can't tell you" or "you have to earn your way to the plum jobs." They come here expecting to get answers handed to them and get annoyed when they're told to do their own homework.

There's a mismatch of expectations and reality in this business. And a lot of judgmentalism over anyone they think might be impeding their unrealistic dream of the glamour and fun of mystery shopping.

If I take a shop at $5 from someone who won't take it for less than $15, they call me stupid, instead of considering that people who are desperate will do whatever they have to to get by. This is a highly competitive business and with so many people turning here to make ends meet because the economy of the last several years has sucked and still sucks it just makes it worse because every new shopper puts downward pressure on the fees.

I've often wondered if we are doing ourselves any favors at all by trying to help newbies succeed.

But yeah, the forum is cranky lately and I lay that directly at the feet of one certain person from Texas with an axe to grind against one MSC who started several threads under multiple aliases to stir the pot. As each new thread was revealed or suspected of having been started by the same person under a different name, we had a sense of being tricked or deceived, and this added to the crankiness because they were trying to manipulate us into expressing sympathy for some cockamamie story they came up with to try to prove that a well-respected MSC should be boycotted.

I myself have become very cynical about the forum lately and am trying to stay away from here because I also have the stress that comes from trying to prepare tax returns for about 150 clients (I've done 45 already) and I don't need any more added right now. I've also had some personal issues adding to my stress -- the death of one dog, kennel cough and an ear infection in the new dog I got three weeks later, and surrendering two of my cats to a shelter because I was at the end of my rope dealing with conflicts between those two and the other four cats. I feel horrible about giving up one of the cats I surrendered because it wasn't really her fault and I'm worried about her finding a home because she's extremely shy and timid. (The other cat was very loving and outgoing and was adopted 48 hours after his ad came out) So this has been weighing on me for the last month.

Cranky? Sure. I'll admit it. I'm cranky as hell lately for all the above reasons. And fed up with people whose reaction to being told the truth is to call people names. Some people don't want advice, they only want to hear what they want to hear. They want their immature, PSF, oh poor me opinions validated and when someone points out how they contributed to their own misfortune and try to give advice for avoiding such situations in the future, they throw a snit fit.

Maybe we should all drink more wine and mellow out. I'm willing to give that a try.....

I definitely agree people seem cranky. The word troll is used a whole lot. I know some people have an agenda but I don't think every disagreeable person is a troll. When the name calling and the troll bashing or the toggle threats fly I skip to another topic. Sometimes the weather and lack of sunshine can really effect everyone. I know when spring comes and winter finally disappears I will feel a whole lot better. Also for those who repeatedly post negative comments well that's not good but when we reply back in a negative tone or a negative comment that's not good either. As a teacher I tell my students that sometime you just have to ignore. There's a saying if you don't add any wood to the fire it will not burn. To all those who add positive thoughts and helpful suggestions thanks.

I have told more than one person to go toggle themselves.

miketfse and dspeakes - excellent posts. I have seen enough tragedy and I avoid negativity like the plague. Life is too short. There are many shoppers on this forum and we are all different so there is no way there will be agreement on everything. But it would great if the negativity could ease up.

I'd be less cranky but I ran out of chocolate.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 03/02/2015 05:52PM by Cettie.

The forum is definitely darker...people used to laugh at my jokes.

It's partly because of the terrible weather.

I noticed it too and since I'm new here I felt kind of taken aback by some of the arguing. I'm not shopping much at the moment for health reasons, but I joined so I could learn, find new companies and avoid some of the pitfalls that had me discouraged and burned out from MS. I just bowed out and read elsewhere when I encountered fighting. Still, even at times when I was trying to encourage someone or be helpful, I found that it was sometimes met with defensiveness. (Maybe due to the negativity exposure)?

Maybe every time we hit a negative roadblock we should hunt down a good joke to post in the joke thread. That thread seems to have died down. Where's Flash?

@Cettie wrote:

I have told more than one person to go toggle themselves.

@Cettie: I am obviously obtuse, since LisaSTL, AustinMom, greenninja, KathyG all "liked" your post. Why would you do that?

(heart)

Cettie was making a joke, and the others were "laughing" at the joke. I think I hit the "like" button too the first time she said that.

I think that might be the problem; I must be missing the joke at which they're "laughing". What is the joke? I truly don't understand.

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@dspeakes wrote:

Cettie was making a joke, and the others were "laughing" at the joke. I think I hit the "like" button too the first time she said that.

Bingo. Our forum needs more laughter.

@AustinMom: I totally agree!

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@AustinMom: Any idea why so many members were "laughing" at "the joke"? I still don't get it.

(heart)

I have a reputation for being slow to catch on to a joke, too ........ We can laugh together about our slowness, too......

Anything for a little harmless fun, huh?

She was using toggle as a substitute for go @#$%& yourself

@LisaSTL wrote:

She was using toggle as a substitute for go @#$%& yourself

PRECISELY

Cettie, I am now allergic to chocolate. I have been trying to find bags of candy that do not include chocolate. About .0000001% of them don't, even in large stores. I have to go to my small pharmacy to get coconut macaroons in a small bag. I did find a Brach's caramel kind today that is good.

@stilllearning wrote:

@AustinMom: Any idea why so many members were "laughing" at "the joke"? I still don't get it.

@AustinMom wrote:

I have a reputation for being slow to catch on to a joke, too ........ We can laugh together about our slowness, too......
Anything for a little harmless fun, huh?

I don't think it's being "slow to catch on to a joke", in the slightest... I think it's simply not appreciating the 'humor'.

@LisaSTL wrote:

She was using toggle as a substitute for go @#$%& yourself

@cettie wrote:

PRECISELY

PRECISELY, indeed. And I'm 100% sure @stilllearning got that, too... just like everyone else with half a brain cell. Which is most of us.

So... publicly telling others to go @#$%& themselves ~ even with thinly veiled euphemism ~ is "harmless fun"? Hmmmmm. That's a really good way to decrease the negativity and "crankiness" around here.

It's funny because she never actually posted that in response to anyone that I know of. It's what I think whenever I use the @#$%& you, I mean toggle feature.

The difference is go @#$%& yourself is nasty and rude and go toggle yourself is funny. It's not really saying go @#$%& yourself -- it's more saying "go away" because when you toggle someone they disappear.

It's much more polite to say go toggle yourself than go @#$%& yourself.

And it's funny.

In all honesty, why would anyone be concerned if someone told trolls to go toggle themselves? I don't recall anyone saying it to anyone who wasn't deserving.

To paraphrase Shakespeare "To toggle or not to toggle, that is the question"

Oh, now I finally found an expression that would satisfy me when someone 'bullies' me. I normally just let it go but
I would be fuming myself inside. Why can't I say something?

Now I found the expression that would satisfy me. Not that it would be heard but it would at least personally simmer down my anger but avoid altercation.

"Go toggle yourself. OK!

I wish we had a self-toggle feature. I would definitely love to block my posts from some posers, I mean posters.

If this ever happens to me, they better put me on a suicide watch.

@Sandra Sue wrote:

Cettie, I am now allergic to chocolate.