1.Performing at her command made him so tired for awhile that he was more careless (in general) than usual. Now, he is resting more and is more like his usual self: grumpy, irascible, and still a bit willing to do whatever a flatterer or cyber-dominatrix asks him to do. In his defense, there is only the Revised Man's Prayer from 'The Red Green Show'. "I'm a man, but I changed, because I had to. Oh well." Think that was a response to"I am woman... hear me roar..."
2. Based upon what I have heard and been told, it is equally possible that the person lives in the United States or another country. English is prevalent in many countries.
3. The communications might be abating because hubby consistently tells her that he will not obey her and explains why. This has not caused her to pay him money, but it has strengthened him to deal with her. He has not blocked her, but he has challenged her stories and refused to comply. For him, this is huge! Celebrating this is effective.
4. He has taken steps with various other people to lessen the effect of his egregious behavior. So he has some support for the change process. This support will bolster any additional efforts he may make in future. This is effective, too.
5. It is unfortunate about your $900 mistake.

YES!

My mistake was marrying a sociopath. Never again.

Never. Ever.

@annelehman wrote:

Dear fellow shoppers, I read somewhere that everyone will make one big, bad decision w/ finances. I made my mistake when I was 20, for $900. 40 years later, I am still MAD. That made me THINK before I did any transction. Shop-et-all, has your husband made other mistakes? Signed, Night Owl at 4:45 pm
Also, what country is the scammer from? What accent?

@Shop-et-al wrote:

He did. He now knows that he can ask questions, verify the answers, and tell me what is new and different in that part of his world. How did this happen? How does an old mule learn anything?! Anyway, he is doing a wonderful job of generating relevant questions and then finding out whether the answers are supportable. HIPPA, general decency, and the fact that we are not investigators prevent us from knowing exact answers to some questions, but there is an abiding sense that all the information she provides is plausible but unlikely. Along the way, he is finding out that communicating with her is uneven and some statements can be interpreted in more than one way.

You did not ask how I know this, but I will provide an example of why I believe it. He has told her repeatedly that he will not perform certain commands on demand, such as sell more of his belongings to pay for a professional license. (She still has not paid him the money she promised him to redeem his other stuff.) The price of "her" license dropped from an alleged $2,000 to $700 after he informed her that the range of costs across states ranges from less than one hundred dollars to about five hundred dollars (with or without the professional licensing exam). She has not explained why "her" cost was and is so high as compared to that of other aspiring professionals in the same field. She has not provided any information in support of her claim that she worked on another continent in connection with this field of study. We learned that she might have earned a degree from a named school and that she might have performed related work on another continent. Occasionally, the named organization uses master and doctorate candidates as interns. But that is sporadic. Each office determines whether/when they can use an intern. Her degree, she says, is for a bachelor's. This degree is a common route to the career, but it does not produce the level of student/scholarship the organization uses for internships.

I give him some of the information and let him dig for other tidbits. This is infinitely better than his earlier staunch belief in everything she said!

Scammers do this to Americans specifically, because they believe that they are stupid and greedy. The scammers believe that Americans deserve to lose their money. They have no remorse.
Of course she has not sent him any money. You said, "More of his belongings," which sounds like you let him sell his belongings to send "her" money. That is really sad to hear.

You are wasting your time trying to figure out if the scammer is legitimate. The fact that you can't see it, makes your judgement suspect as well.

Hello, again! I use Comcast Xfinity for TV. They have On Demand, for previous shows. Look for - American Greed, Season 13, Episode 16. This will explain buying gift cards, bitcoin, and sending money by Western Union. Like I've tried to say before, you and your husband are co-conspirators with this scammer. She will RAT YOU OUT to reduce her own charges. Signed, Night Owl at 5:10 am

Here is the over-control issue again. I enforce safe driving (keep his phone away from his driving). This makes it more likely that he can keep his driver's license and his job (which involves driving daily and is the only major source of revenue he ever will have). I do not control his heart or his motivations. I do not control his belongings.

In my report, I did mention my concerns about his new and unexpected disregard for his beloved stuff. Since then, he has gained insight and made a plan to retrieve those items. He has garnered support for his change process. This one change might capture your attention. Are you willing to blame me endlessly for that which is not rightfully under my control instead of beginning to consider the possibility that factors in the overall situation are changing? Well, that is up to you. I do not control how you respond to or utilize information that is presented to you.

More recently, I try to teach him how to think about any/all potential gifts, donations, or favors. He is learning. This is the good news.

Finally, a wee question: when did you start thinking that I do not see a scam here? You might recall from previous posts that I am playing along. This gets me into his world and gives me the opportunity to help him learn what this is. This helps him to become a smarter consumer, and we hone our basic search skills. If he can see the information, especially the facts and factoids that he finds by himself, the easier it is for him to change his responses to scammeress. As his responses change, the effects of this scam are abated in our lives.

(Right about now someone, somewhere, should be cheering us on in our successful change-making efforts. Perhaps they come from education or similar background and well know about the varieties of learners; what learners do and do not know; and how and how quickly each learner progresses.)

If tptb wish to utilize information that I provided weeks ago to nail some scammer (and anyone behind them), that is up to them. In their process, they will be able to determine who is zooming whom. Regarding this, you have threatened me with a scare tactic. I see that and now am compelled to ask you a question. Are you still so certain that I have not seen a scam that has multiple parts, multiple participants, and multiple tricks? Really????? Mmm?

I have wasted no time. In fact, I have succeeded to the extent of prying open an old mind and teaching a little bit of something to someone who had no clue about one subject. The fact that hubby is learning despite his age and his feelings for the scammeress is remarkable and wonderful. It is a bit of hope, even. It is many magnitudes stronger than anyone's accusation that one or both of us might be nuts or otherwise need someone to look after us. In fact, another related viewpoint suggests that those who would like to end our freedoms might now need someone to corral them. These folks seem to have a little logic problem.

Their tacit argument looks like this: the sea hubby is finally learning (from his wife, no less!) a few techniques for finding out about potential opportunities which may have merits and or/drawbacks or just be scams and therefore he and sea must be declared as nuts or incapable or feeble or all three. Just a thought...

To recap: We did not need to do the government's work. We only needed to provide information that we had and then do what we could do to make changes and improvements by ourselves and for ourselves. We are succeeding in abating the effects of a multi-part scam as this relates to our lives.

We are doing well. I am pleased. Thank you.

@SoCalMama wrote:

@Shop-et-al wrote:

He did. He now knows that he can ask questions, verify the answers, and tell me what is new and different in that part of his world. How did this happen? How does an old mule learn anything?! Anyway, he is doing a wonderful job of generating relevant questions and then finding out whether the answers are supportable. HIPPA, general decency, and the fact that we are not investigators prevent us from knowing exact answers to some questions, but there is an abiding sense that all the information she provides is plausible but unlikely. Along the way, he is finding out that communicating with her is uneven and some statements can be interpreted in more than one way.

You did not ask how I know this, but I will provide an example of why I believe it. He has told her repeatedly that he will not perform certain commands on demand, such as sell more of his belongings to pay for a professional license. (She still has not paid him the money she promised him to redeem his other stuff.) The price of "her" license dropped from an alleged $2,000 to $700 after he informed her that the range of costs across states ranges from less than one hundred dollars to about five hundred dollars (with or without the professional licensing exam). She has not explained why "her" cost was and is so high as compared to that of other aspiring professionals in the same field. She has not provided any information in support of her claim that she worked on another continent in connection with this field of study. We learned that she might have earned a degree from a named school and that she might have performed related work on another continent. Occasionally, the named organization uses master and doctorate candidates as interns. But that is sporadic. Each office determines whether/when they can use an intern. Her degree, she says, is for a bachelor's. This degree is a common route to the career, but it does not produce the level of student/scholarship the organization uses for internships.

I give him some of the information and let him dig for other tidbits. This is infinitely better than his earlier staunch belief in everything she said!

Scammers do this to Americans specifically, because they believe that they are stupid and greedy. The scammers believe that Americans deserve to lose their money. They have no remorse.
Of course she has not sent him any money. You said, "More of his belongings," which sounds like you let him sell his belongings to send "her" money. That is really sad to hear.

You are wasting your time trying to figure out if the scammer is legitimate. The fact that you can't see it, makes your judgement suspect as well.

Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 07/26/2020 04:28PM by Shop-et-al.

SEL, I'm curious: how come you are okay with hubby, your husband, having an emotional affair?

After you have been married for a few decades to the same person you, too might need to honor the basic vows vis a vis old age: stepping up when they are temporarily or permanently challenged; defending them when someone else preys upon them; and helping them to release, add, or maintain things as life marches on and the landscape of their life changes.