Tipping Culture in the US?

This is a topic likely to blow your skirt up lol....
I don't generally face this issue where I live because lots of service here the old fashioned way but
I just got off that 7 week road trip where I was often in trendy areas or even drive thrus or other places and I paid over and again for all kinds of services, food and beverages.
I'm not sure if I'll ever get over having a tip screen pushed toward me and all the person did was hand me something.
I'm all about old skool tip jars where I can add cash and cash is still king and I know it goes direct to staff...

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Oh, I used a shop as an opportunity to complain about this practice! The process I encountered tricked me into tipping by accident as I was trying to simply say yes to approve the purchase for my card swipe. It was a pickup at a counter and I was not supposed to tip. I explained what happened in the report and they covered it.
Online friends from Europe are always puzzled by the US tip culture (and other fees/taxes in states). I tell them we're puzzled by the socialized taxation in Europe including VAT.
I accidentally tipped $20 for valet parking on a shop! I think we were supposed were allowed and reimbursed a total of $20 which included the tip. Anyway, I was trying to round it up to the $20 to cover everything, and I added $20! The glare on that little machine and my stupid bifocal contacts worked against me. My dining companion never let me forget that!
In Europe and the rest of the world, from what I understand, servers are paid a real wage. The Federal minimum wage in the US for tipped employees is $2.13. And there are a LOT of people who can't or won't tip their servers. For shops I rarely ask any questions and just give them 20% or more. On personal trips to restaurants, I ask how tips are handled. If the server tells me that they have to share their tips (illegal), I had them cash directly and tell them NOT to share it. Then I put a really small tip on the receipt so that the management won't ask if they got a cash tip or not.

There have been two times on shops that I have asked the servers how their tips are handled because they were exceptional servers. On those shops I put the full 20% required by the MSC on the ticket, and handed the server a $20 and told them not to share it.
I often forget when outside the US and leave tips...in places where tips are not common.
I'm told that's one way they know where a person is from, because US visitors always leave tips, whether customary or not. It's a relief in other countries to find servers who are just doing their job and getting paid adequately for it - without having to perform like a dancing monkey for a tip.

What I see happening now in the US is different. To me, the tipping screen for digital payment, seems a way for companies to get customers to subsidize their labor costs and is in no way related to the traditional concept of tipping for service, according to the service.
When someone hands me something over a counter and presents the tipping screen, I ask them where the cash jar is for tips.
As far as table service, of course, as always, add a tip or leave cash separately....it needs to direct to the server.
I just realized something. What irked me on the recent Florida trip were a few different places where you walk up to order and they ask for a tip before you even get your food or anything...and after we sat down, a runner dropped off our food and no one visited our table again to ask if we needed anything or whether there were any issues.
I think from now on, I'll just tell the cashier, that I'll be leaving the tip on the table. Problem and discomfort solved.
I guess I must be getting older - gotta release the annoying frictions of consumer culture lol.
I don't give tips of any kind at fast food places or places where I have to make my order at a counter instead of my seat. Those folks are not servers or waiters, and they get paid the same as everyone else working there.
I was at a fast casual place last evening where I placed my order at the counter and was handed a plastic number. Food was delivered to table. I wondered if that would be considered 'service'. Sadly the person at counter placed the order for double of what husband ordered instead of one each of what he and I ordered. I felt no guilt for not leaving a tip for poor service.
I have a local chain that I shop where you place the order at a counter and are given a number. The shop requires a minimum tip of 18% which requires it to be made at the counter. I once forgot and had a very awkward time convincing the manager to add a tip.
@maverick1 wrote:

Online friends from Europe are always puzzled by the US tip culture (and other fees/taxes in states). I tell them we're puzzled by the socialized taxation in Europe including VAT.

Personally, I don't find the VAT structure or non-tipping all that puzzling - it is actually simpler than a lot of taxes and fees in the states.
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