I already talked about him asking for the gas station phone number and getting removed from that gas station's program. He's been going on and on about being deactivated by the MSC, but he's not. He said that he can't do Insta-shops on Presto because he's been deactivated by the MSC, but that isn't true either.

I'm getting really frustrated with this.. He has only been removed from ONE project. And being deactivated by the MSC has absolutely no bearing on Presto insta-shops,

What do I have to do to get it through his thick head that his only limitation is not being able to do Shell stations? Are there any men here that can help me understand how to explain this so he'll understand?

It sounds like he's lacking some cognitive flexibility. Do you see this in other areas of his life? Could you encourage him to try one and see if it's accepted and when he sees success he may trust what you're saying.

You can share my situation if it might help.

I can't claim insta shops right now, either. I haven't been booted from programs nor MSCs. I submitted a trouble ticket, waiting on a response. I did dig around while I wait and noticed there was a typo in my SSN so it is possible that wasn't noticed previously but a recent check flagged me.. I have made the correction and know that I won't hear anything from support on a weekend so patience is required.

Gigishopper is probably right. Your son will need to see to believe. I know there's not many shops out there right now, so you may have to put up with it for a bit.

My own experience is I was briefly deactivated from one of the Ipsos gas programs on Presto. I could still do other Ipsos shops, even Ipsos gas shops on Presto, just not that one program.

I signed him up on Presto to a different gas station, and he took it off because he thought he couldn't do it. Even though it was claimed and on his list. Today it's on my list, because he's certain he can't do them. I'll remove it after 24 hours and put it back on his, and make him do it.

I also signed him up to a different shop on the MSC's Sassie platform and made him do it, at base pay, to prove to him that he is, in fact, not deactivated.

gigi, you're right, he has some cognitive issues, most likely ADHD or low autism spectrum kinda stuff. But at 40 years old there is almost no hope of getting him to a doctor to have it properly diagnosed. Even though both ADHD and Autism runs in my father's family.

I think the easiest way is to actually hop on his account, accept the job, do the job in front of him, and wait for the MSC to accept it, only when he sees the result that may change his mind. It seems like you cannot encourage him to do it himself right now, why not present the evidence yourself?

MLZ when you first brought it up I interpreted it as he was burnt and was looking for a reason not to have to do them. Did something happen prior to indicate that? Trying to prove to him that they can be done might not equate with his willingness to do so. If you feel as though you already effectively made your point, the natural consequence of him not doing it might give him some motivation, be it not having any money, or having to do other work to make up for the loss. He may be testing the boundaries to see what would happen if he should stop doing them. For most of us faced with not wanting to continue, it requires a ‘Plan B’ If he can afford not to do them, then so be it, but it doesn’t sound like it.

Minime,

The problem is he doesn't have to face the consequences of thinking that he can't do shops for Ipsos or on Presto. He doesn't comprehend money, at least I don't think he does. He used to do a lot of purchasing things to re-sell back in CA, but to him getting paid $1 more than he purchased the item for was "profit." And it's not. He never figured in the cost of the gasoline or his time or any other overhead expenses. I'm not sure he has any better understanding now. He lives in the motorhome next to my house, the only thing he really pays for is the chicken coop that he insisted on getting, and the feed for the chickens. When he sells eggs, which isn't often anymore, he hands me the cash money.

He's not going to actually have to face those consequences until I pass away. And I don't know how to change that. I don't think that either of his brothers will offer to take care of him when I'm gone, the only thing I can do is leave this property to him and hope he fingers it out.

I do try to show him how to take care of the bills, but I just don't think it's sinking in.

@Morledzep wrote:

Minime,

The problem is he doesn't have to face the consequences of thinking that he can't do shops for Ipsos or on Presto. He doesn't comprehend money, at least I don't think he does. He used to do a lot of purchasing things to re-sell back in CA, but to him getting paid $1 more than he purchased the item for was "profit." And it's not. He never figured in the cost of the gasoline or his time or any other overhead expenses. I'm not sure he has any better understanding now. He lives in the motorhome next to my house, the only thing he really pays for is the chicken coop that he insisted on getting, and the feed for the chickens. When he sells eggs, which isn't often anymore, he hands me the cash money.

He's not going to actually have to face those consequences until I pass away. And I don't know how to change that. I don't think that either of his brothers will offer to take care of him when I'm gone, the only thing I can do is leave this property to him and hope he fingers it out.

I do try to show him how to take care of the bills, but I just don't think it's sinking in.

Maybe get him to take some classes of business 101, or accounting/bookkeeping 101 in community college, that may help him understand the basic of bookkeeping. That may help

MLZ ~ That’s tough if it’s functional challenges because there may not be any motives beyond a lack of understanding. I’ve dealt with something similar but not really parallel to yours when I moved back to the mainland to recover from a health crisis.

I worked from home caring for a female in her late 20s who lived with me. She was DD but high functioning in some ways. She drove her own car and was a spoiled daddy’s girl. His GF gave him an ultimatum (It’s either me or her) so they were looking for her first placement outside of their home. The issues were many with the main one being she was morbidly obese and stayed in bed most of the time. She was fairly non-verbal at first but over time that improved. After a couple of weeks of hitting the fridge every hour and lounging I knew I had to implement something, without much help from the team of ‘experts’ assigned to her case. For me it was hard to determine how much of it was a lack of motivation until I could observe her behavior for a while.

Once she felt comfortable I tried using a life coaching tool with her called ‘The Wheel of Life.’ It’s basically a pie chart with 8 segments. On the outside perimeter of each segment you write in important parts of your life. Ex. Work, school, exercise, social life etc. in terms of what’s most important and prominent parts of your life. (In her case ‘buying more CDs was one of them.) On the inside of each segment you write in aspects you hope to achieve, improve on or want in relation to the subject. Ex. Under ‘Health’ - Lose weight, improve diet etc. The goal is to give each segment equal attention on a regular basis to create more balance in your life. As you revisit the chart and work on attending to the lists, you see what goals have been achieved and one’s that have been ignored. Then the shift goes towards working on those. For people who are learning disabled, there could be only a few aspects or segments in their lives and each are overloaded.

I started with her filling out the chart over dinner. It was probably the first time anyone had a conversation with her about what her goals and interests were. (Mom and dad were functioning alcoholics who wrote her off from a young age). One of the goals was to find a job. Within a couple of weeks she accomplished that. We would take the chart off the fridge periodically and cross off some things she had accomplished and added some. She wanted to save and keep using the original chart. I think for her a visual tool was helpful.
She didn’t miss a day of work for months. When I would say ‘I’m proud.’ I know she derived a lot of satisfaction and self esteem in hearing the praise.

Although your son is older and higher functioning, there are times when everybody hits a wall in life. Maybe finding something that would interest him and motivate him would help. Ex. Taking over the property upon your passing, finding another type of work in addition to MS etc. (one that he could manage without additional guidance)

I would try a different approach other than you doing the coaching, as he may view you as his equal. Maybe someone who can act as a coach and you each do your own wheel, guided by them. There are a lot of non-profit vocational programs out there that may be on board with providing assistance in getting the wheels churning. (No pun intended.)