Usually I just read and enjoy everyones posts, but I had to comment on this thread.....Wow! That's all I have.....Wow!

Thanks, Irene, I'm on it. I understand Helion has a place for geriatric shoppers, so I'll fit right in. Can't wait to get all those peachy over the hill assignments, and thank you so much. Been meaning to check it out, but my mind wanders and I keep forgetting.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 05/20/2012 03:25AM by MDavisnowell.

MDavis...I've got a fantastic P/R for you if you would like to come to LA to do high end shops. You can stay in my extra bedroom for $500 a night. I will reimburse you for the stay if nothing is touched in the room, including the sheets and you do a lengthy report on the stay by midnight the night before your stay. Scan and send me the receipt and make sure you have included the detail of everything you saw in the room and where it was placed. I will need to know what time you went to sleep and if you got up in the middle of the night to go potty, what time that was, how long you spent, and a measurement. How many flushes before someone picked up the toilet seat? What time did you get back in bed and how long before you entered rem sleep. Describe in a narrative your dreams. If there are no name tags, fully describe all those who appear whether they speak with you or not. Were they smiling, were they live or ghostly?
In return I will give you the names of companies who do high end shops in high end Los Angeles. You will be required to book the shops yourself and I cannot reimburse you for travel expenses.

Sandyf!

How could you? You completely forgot MD needs to have the eye color of everyone MD comes into contact with - the 2 legged AND 4 legged variety!!

And the fun goes on!

Between the last several posts and the Shop Slut thread, I can't drink my coffee! Shame on you for making us laugh this morning!

MDavisnowell Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Irene - Get off your butt and figure out how this
> works for yourself. I'm not about to give you my
> best companies from Weatherford, Texas, and have
> you swooping in from downtown LA and taking all my
> boonie West Texas gas stations and DQs.
> Friendship goes just so far, and it's not that
> far. Try the suggestion to sign up for more
> companies and that should help you out. I'm sorry
> you're having so much trouble catching on.
>
> P.S. Please pm me your list of BEST COMPANIES if
> you don't want to post it on the forum. I may get
> out to LA sometime and need some extra cash.
> Well, if I get to LA I'll need extra cash for
> sure. Can I sleep at your place?


Ditto

I live in the Suburbs, not downtown, get it straight...oh that's right, you forget, must be an age thing!!

I'm still laughing - how did I missed the shop slut thread? Where is it?

I missed it too....maybe that can be tomorrows laugh...think I will wait.
cubbiecat Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I'm still laughing - how did I missed the shop
> slut thread? Where is it?

Sandyf, thank you for your spectacular offer. I am running like a train afire right now but I am going to get started on that shop report ASAP. Also I plan to call some CPAs and Enrolled Agents about the tax ramifications and consult with IRS to find out if I need any new numbers to work in LA. Am I excited, yes, you betcha. Sandy, I have looked over your guidelines and I will have no problem creating that report. I am a resourceful shopping slut and you will be impressed at what I can come up with based on not much of anything. I have a hotdamn schedule for the next few days but I'm going to find some time to send you a detailed response. I will have to have more advance information about the room since I'm to write the report and provide the receipt in advance of arrival. Not a problem. You post it, this slut can shop it.

Also, there is another matter which I hope will not be a problem for you. My tomcats, Oliver Drab (he's solid gray) and Billy Bob (named after the cowboy honkytonk in Fort Worth) will be with me on the trip. These are not actually house cats as they live in the yard, but I think I can catch them with one of those tender traps and some high quality roasted chicken. I will be driving, of course, because Ollie, BBob, and I do not fly. Ollie and BBob will eventually adjust to the car, I'm sure. We will have an exciting trip. It will be necessary, Sandy, for my tomcats to stay in the room while I shop. They cannot be put outside as they would get lost and then what would I ever do? These cats do a lot of work around my house keeping down the rats and copperheads (that's a snake we have in Texas that we don't want to have). I am hoping the damage to your home will be minimal, and of course we need to negotiate a deposit up front to cover any little issue that comes up with these tomcats in your home. I would be willing to pay, say, $14.00. How does that sound?

I have never had a $500 per night room and I can't wait. Please send me a vague description of the room, complete with small dark and out of focus pictures in black and white, so I can understand the conditions and present you with a report that meets your standards. I am so very much looking forward to doing business with you Sandy, and I am especially eager for you to meet Ollie and BBob as I know that is going to be a great relationship for all three of you.

It will be necessary for me to coordinate the date of this trip so I can catch the balloon festival in Albuquerque and also an IMSC (is that correct?) conference on the way, or if we can't coordinate that, I might settle for an Elvis signting.

Sandy, although I have no problem with the $500.00 per night plus a $14.00 one time tomcat deposit, you have to understand how this mystery shopping works. You don't get paid if I don't get paid, fair enough? I would expect to be paid in one to three months, so you could expect to be paid in three to five months if I actually get paid in one to three months. So if I come to LA in June, you would get paid sometime around November, possibly. If I don't get paid, you don't get paid. OK? Got it?

It won't be necessary for you to reimburse me for travel expenses. I'll subtract travel expenses from any amount you might possibly be paid for the room and the tomcat deposit. I know an experienced shopper such as you are can readily grasp exactly how this is going to work out for you.

When I have some more time, I will send you a lengthy and detailed commentary on this so we can clear up any issues discussed above or presented in your proposal which you so kindly and generously posted.

The slut thread is in the Mystery Shopping Discussion section under "So, your fries are lukewarm..." Enjoy.

Clearly, we all have too much time on our hands today!

You all are too, too much!

BTW, for $500/night, I'll be glad to give you a room while you are here in Albuquerque for the balloon fiesta. And for another $500, Ollie and BBob can have one of the other bedrooms all to their own little selves!

lol what a concept...

Hey, for $500 you can have a room at my house in Georgia and my reports require less narration. However, sorry can't do the cats our pet squirrels will not allow that. Anyway can't offer Elvis sightings but I understand by watching the Discovery Channel that there are Big Foot sightings in Georgia!

For $500, I'll give you a hero citation for a FUN! EASY! Shop. You only need to inventory 100 items in my house.

I forgot to mention even though less narration is required you must give lengthily details on all no answers. Be aware that we discourage negative answers and these might disqualify you for reimbursement or cause you to be removed from my database. Since this establishment is located in the country the sighting of bugs should not be considered a negative situation and should be overlooked. An occasional sighting of a snake should also be considered acceptable when completing your report.

OMG, this is getting too funny...and funnier...so MD i did not mention this to you in my original job offer but I had heard directly from Irene as she and I sort of live in the same city. I live in the actual city of LA and she lives in one of those far flung burbs that schedulers always think are just a short trip from their jobs in LA so no need for extra travel money. In any case, she was thinking of taking me up on my offer...the additional info is that my reimbursement for your wonderfully slutty report will be forthcoming after I am reimbursed by my next client so that would be when my room is rented out again...There seems to be lots of offers out there so you may not need to wait too long, however, who knows it could be years before my next client comes thru and of course if you and the next people are planning to subtract travel costs ...well perhaps next century? how old did you say you are? well i suppose i could always send the payment to your estate if you are gone by then.
I will take some grainy pics and see if i can download and upload in jpg or pdf or which ever your system can handle. I do have trouble with that and swore off Trendsource long ago as each job I spent 2 hours just sending receipts they would accept. Not a problem with any other company...that last pizza was the worst. I could not enjoy it for 2 days as i was sitting in front of the computer trying to get the pics just right for them. And the worst part is Costco is right across the street where I can get a huge 16" pizza, juicy, tasty with toppings of my own choice for much less than my hourly reimbursement x 2 days hard at work. So... I will also send along a pic of my rottie...big and sharp teeth. She is really a sweetheart and her favorite "playthings" are cats. I am sure your cats will get lots of exercise while they are here running to find every little nook and cranny of my yard to hide in. It will be such fun for them and tire them out so they sleep the entire way home for you. There is a nice vet "shop" near here in case you end up needing it but i am pretty sure they will not pay for surgeries. Actually there are two locations within a mile of my house so you can take them both. And do not worry about Elvis. If you do not catch him in Las Vegas on your way through, he is often spotted along Hollywood Blvd. I think he has two homes, his summer/winter one here and the spring one in Las vegas. He may visit those other places from time to time but he seems to live on hollywood blvd. There are also so many of your other heartthrobs living on Hollywood blvd. Doesn't matter which way you swing, you will find them there. Or if you hang around the local courthouses...they go in and out on their way to trial. My friend was on jury duty the day Nicole Richie showed up. you could be lucky and be on a trial with Elvis. HE is in the house. (not my house or i would be charging so much more) I will give you a break in rent for long term if you wanted to stay to do jury duty.

Too funny, Sandy and I will arrange for you (only you) to take my upscale Beverly Hills job (close to Sandy's), for a 15,000 P/R... fun, bring heels
and a designer handbag. Celebrity hunting is also fun on Melrose, Paparrizza everywhere, right in front of Ivy's restaurant where the Kardashians hang out. Talk about culture shock, I'll be helicoping in to do my shops, while evaluating the ride, after all, we're in L.A. (lalaland). There are coyotee's in Sandys area, cats must be locked in room, did Sandy mention no litter boxes allowed , figure it out. I am in the burbs, plenty of nice jobs here, do you like auto dealerships? Can't wait to meet, happy traveling, oh, plenty of Elvis lookalikes in Vegas, you must go see the show "Diva's" I believe there is an Elvis impersonater along with Diana Ross, Whitney Houston, Better Midler and cher.....fun.

I forgot to mention an MSC in L.A. that has nice dinners (100.00 dinner) and the best yet, you get a 50.00 gift card for doing the 3 hour report, no cash reimbursenent, welcome to L.A.



Edited 3 time(s). Last edit at 05/20/2012 08:56PM by Irene_L.A..

Dear Avon, I must decline your kind offer as I cannot leave home overnight without Ollie and BBob. Bugs and snakes are not a problem and these fall into the Ollie and BBob department of operations. If you would allow me to bring them, they will see to your squirrel problem. Actually, Ollie will take care of it and BBob will watch, approve, and then participate in the final interaction. Their personalities are totally different, much like mystery shoppers.

Also, I promise I will file only positive reports now that you have made it clear it would be disastrous to make a negative comment. Leaving out all no answers, whether applicable or not, will certainly speed things up by cutting down on unnecessary narrative. Since I would already know the outcome of the shops, I could skip shopping and make up glowing reports and file them with you. That would save time and keep me in your database, and we would both be happy so win win for us. An additional result would be that we would have more time to tour local attractions and search for Elvis.

Please reconsider. I assure you that having Ollie and BBob in your home would be a once in a lifetime experience you would never forget. Can't wait to hear from you again.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 05/21/2012 03:08PM by MDavisnowell.

Cubbiecat: I am excited to learn a Hero Citation can be mine. Please send all details.

Plumcut, a stay over in Albuquerue will be perfect. The room rate ($1,000) is a little steep, but I have a proposal for you. After I do the shops in LA, and if I get paid, and if I have any money left after LA and other travel expenses, I would be happy to pay you $689.00 for an overnight in Albuquerque provided you are in a position to wait 283 days to be paid and are willing to accept payment of $0 if I lose money on the LA deal. Are you in?

If you are in, I will send other requirements and specifications for our accommodations. We will, of course, need references. By we, I mean the three of us: Ollie, BBob, and Mary.

Dear Sandy: So good to hear from you again, and Good Morning. It is not a problem to wait a few months to get paid. I will put your folder at the back of the drawer so I don't annoy you with useless followups, and will accept your payment whenever you decide to send it if you decide to send it. You will not hear a peep out of me because I know a good deal when I get it.

Sandy, I'm afraid the rottie is a dealbreaker and we have to come to an arrangement regarding that dog. I understand there are elderly people looking to adopt older animals who want to outlive the pet's life span, so you might want to look into that. Perhaps some of those vets you're mentioning in your post can help you out with that. Also, you might call the local senior center and they might be able to help you place your dog. Another possibility is to tie him up at the curb, with his dog house and all dog equipment and supplies nearby, and post a sign "Free Dog, With Free Accessories". It's my understanding this will work everytime as neighborhood children (the little sweethearts) will collect the dog and take it home, claiming they have been followed by dog, doghouse, and all equipment.

Let me know when the rottie is gone, and we can start negotiations again.

I take full responsibility for the misunderstanding about the yard. Although Ollie and BBob are yard cats and I would never allow the little accidents and deposits they create to occur in my own home, they will not be staying in your yard. Ollie and BBob will be in the house and will stay in the room which is $500 per night, plus the one time $15 tomcat deposit.

I realize I did not make myself clear, which has been an ongoing problem with my reports. My education must be lacking, although I have a printed up degree on my wall from Imatelling U. Can you recommend a good school for geriatric students?



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 05/22/2012 12:38AM by MDavisnowell.

The guidelines are clear that this shop should be done alone. I do appreciate the fact that you are willing to give a glowing report on your shop. However, the cats would prove to be a problem as the squirrels are enjoyable to watch and part of the charm and attraction of the establishment. I will reassign this shop due to you being unable to complete the shop alone. Thank you for notifying me that you will be unable to do the shop alone as specified in the guidelines. In the event that this becomes much overdue and we become desperate to get this shop completed for our client we will contact you for reconsideration.

Irene, I am so excited about shopping in LA, and thank you thank you thank you for letting me have that $15,000 P/R shop. Do you think the store would let me divide that up between six different credit cards plus a personal IOU? Let me hear right back on this, please, as I am hot to firm up the financial arrangements on the P/R.

Irene, I may not be able to pull off that shop even though I'll try. The heels are out, even on boots. I could borrow a pair, but I'd have to carry them, not wear them. How about wearing a new pair of New Balance athletic shoes, or a pair of good flat heel boots? Will that work? What's that about a designer bag? What designer? I don't think I have one. Please send me all the names of designer bags so I can check out the handbags in my closet. Most of them came from Goodwill, but do you think I might accidently have a designer handbag?

I am not sure I measure up to what would be considered a trendy dresser in LA. I do have some name brand jeans (Lee and Rockies) that are plain, but I could glue on some butt bling if that would help. I also have some tops not more than four years old that originally cost maybe as much as $20.00 each. I bought them used but that doesn't count because no one can tell. I will state with great personal pride, Irene, that my gimmie baseball cap collection is second to none and I am always well dressed from the ears up.

Your advice on my personal presentation will be much appreciated. Looking forward to hearing from you and meeting you when I come to LA provided Sandy gets rid of that rottie.

Be very careful Sandy! That one time tomcat deposit just went from $14 to $15. I think that increase really makes this a bad deal.

Okay, this has been fun! However, I have to get back to work so gotta run. I just had one question before I go. What happened to the person that started all of this fun? Unless I missed it I have not seen another post from her. Did we scare her off? If so I hope she will not leave us completely because there really are those here that are helpful along the way when you hit those road blocks that we all run up against at times. There really are serious and helpful post on this forum and great people to help out when they can!

For the newcomers...we ole timers were just playing, nothing is further from the truth, needed to kick it up a notch,so everything you read is all in fun, but I'm sure you guys knew that.
Back to normal, I'm all played out. Mary, you are a good sport, would love to meet...maybe in the ole age home!!

MDavis, I have the most fantastic shop opportunity for you! A one-night stay in my guest bedroom in Missouri, with a super easy report afterwards! Only yes or no questions, except for five narratives. The guest bedroom costs $125 per night, but you will be reimbursed within 12 months of your stay. You will need to pay special attention to the carpets, photos on the wall, and the screaming 2-year-old in the room next to you. Please bring an audio recorder to assess the length, frequency, and decibels of his tantrum(s).

I will also require you to count the books on the bookshelf. Be prepared to recall any 5 random books for your narrative; you will need to provide title, author, number of pages, color of the spine, and a brief summary. In the event that you select a title that I've forgotten I ever owned, your shop will be rejected and you will not be paid.

We are offering this shop for full reimbursement with a $5 shopper's fee. I can also reimburse up to $10 for gas, as long as you provide proper documentation (photographs of your car's odometer before and after your trip, itemized credit card receipt(s), and a statement from an independent mechanic of my choosing certifying that your car is EPA compliant.)

I hope to hear from you soon!

Dear Cake...
Thank you for all you do, and for the terrific shop offer!
Would love to do the shop for you company, and would like to know the dates and times available, since I am totally scheduled out for the next two months waiting at my computer for payment for other shops, and having my head examined at the local mental health department.
Sincerely,
EliseSm
P.S.