OKAY SO awhile back I was asked to post some of my crazy behind-the-counter stories. Here is one, and I'm curious how you would react if you were a mystery shopper who was in the store at the time. For this to make sense you'll need to know that I'm a roly-polyish young woman who routinely gets told I look like I'm still in high school and when this took place I wore long hair in a bun, rather than the Jennifer Lawrence cut I have now.

So this guy comes in and buys one of those 40oz beers. I card him and he hands me his military ID. I say "thank you for your service" and hand it back to him. He buys his alcohol and leaves.

About 90 seconds later he comes back with the bottle and says he wants to return it and get something else. I apologize and tell him that alcohol and liquor are restricted items and it's illegal for me to make the return. He goes into a rage: how dare I treat him this way, he didn't serve in the Marines to be told by some upstart @#$%& that he can't drink, etc. etc.

At this point, my trainee, "Jim," leaves the coffee bar and comes up to stand next to me: he's six feet tall and while he's incredibly skinny, you can also see some serious muscle in his arms. He quietly tells the guy "I think you better go." The guy turns to him and I @#$%& you not this is what happens:

"At least they got a man in this store. I wanna return this."

Jim repeats what I already said and the guy says "I want you to call a manager. No woman is gonna tell me what I can't do."

Jim's (extraordinarily epic, in my opinion) reply: "Dude, she IS the manager. And she will call the cops on you, she doesn't screw around. You should really go."

The guy then demands to speak to MY boss. So I call "my boss," the market manager: "Laura." (There is a reason for this and the reason is that calling the police at this point could actually seriously put people in danger--do not @#$%& with a visibly enraged Marine--so I'm going to comply with his request insofar as to call the market manger.)

"Laura, I have a gentleman in my store demanding to make an alcohol return who doesn't believe I'm the manager and wants to speak to you."

Laura, bless her, played right along and agreed that yes, I was the recently-promoted manager and my new nametag hadn't yet arrived. The whole phone call took maybe a minute and at the end of it the guy smashed the beer bottle on the counter and walked out. I still haven't acknowledged you, in large part because I'm afraid to take my eyes off this guy.


Now imagine the customer who I had in line behind this nut was the mystery shopper, and that is you. You get to the front counter, there's beer and glass everywhere, I'm very clearly wearing a nametag that says "Assistant Manager," my trainee has not rung you up because he was trying to stay between me and an angry Marine, and all I do is shrug and say "I'm sorry for the wait, I was afraid he might get violent. Jim, can you get the glass up?" and ring you up. In your report you're supposed to report on wait time and professionalism.

WHAT DO YOU DO?

First of all I would not use the "F" word in a post. While I'm an awful potty mouth I never use that kind of language around people I don't know or people it might offend.

possibly the guy was suffering from PTSD.

cpburt Wrote:
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> First of all I would not use the "F" word in a
> post.


I would presume that an audience of grown-ups can handle an occasional 'f' word, used in context and all, and definitely not to excess (the way some people speak). You see and hear it pretty much anywhere you go. Look at some of the t-shirts in Wal-Mart.

And, not a very productive response to a well-presented scenario. And more than likely the guy does have PTSD, if he's actually served in combat. But some of that, well, it sounds like even if he does have PTSD he was a chauvinist pig before that happened.

For one, if I was the MS, I would not continue to wait in line in the immediate vicinity. Heh. I would find some part of the store I had 'forgotten' to peruse, and observe carefully from over there. I would rejoin the line later, and count *that* as my in line timing.

Second, I would report everything just as it happened in my report. If there wasn't a specific place for that, or only those text fields with really small character allotments; I would include it in an email to the editor/scheduler or someone involved with the account at the MSC.

Some people... sheesh! Sounds like you guys handled it the best you could.

Okay, I'm a little slow on the uptake, but cpburt, honestly, it took me two rereads to find the "F" word ala "Where's Waldo?", since I was riveted by ninamason's play-by-play. I saw the "B" word and the "S" word, but it wasn't distracting and, actually, made the narrative more realistic. (We're among friends, right?)

Unless I am in the "killer mode", I, too, never use the "F" word, but, in my opinion, this was too good to be distracted by that and her query is a good one.

(heart)

Honestly if I were the shopper, I would have left. I certainly don't want to be there and something bad happens because this marine got violent. I would have emailed the scheduler and offered to re-shop on another day and tell her what happened.

I am not offended by the F-word but I am curious how the OP was able to even post it. Every time I type sex, the system changes it to weird stuff. And s-e-x is not a swear word or anything.

If I was the next person in line behind this guy, whether I was a MS'er or a regular customer, I would have put my cell phone on video and record the incident. It could be proof of the incident or I could sell it to the local news.

EDIT: G3B and I cross-posted. I find incidents like this exciting, not necessarily scary. It is good to get the adrenaline going every once in awhile.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 06/24/2014 11:26PM by Shop2LiveinFL.

The forum only seems to garble porno-related words (let's see if 'porno' makes it through!). Like the s-e-x and the little things that oysters make. Heh.

The 'f' word is pretty much in the vernacular now, whether some people like it or not.

And yeah, it's pretty silly to pick on a well-written post for a couple inclusions of profanities. Since this isn't a forum for kids. And since this has been, many times, compared to the employee break room where we can just come and converse among peers and friends. How annoying it would be to have to censor yourself that much in the break room. Out on the work floor, sure; break room, no.

I'm not offended by the word and the MOD apparently dosn't care, so have at it if it makes you feel like a grown up.

Wow, I was so sucked into your story.

I would report it just like you described above. And I would have hoped it was one of those times I was video tapping my shop. I record shops that I may not necessarily have to just in case there is a situation like this, I'll have my proof.

Wow!

I have been on a Boxer shop and had some black people in the office next to us fist fighting and people jumping in to break it up. How embarrassing!!! OH and it was a video shop lol

What is a Boxer shop? Like Rocky? As in dog? Or men's underwear?

LMBO!

d) none of the above!

It is for Boxer Property, an office leasing company.

I think video taping men in boxer briefs would be a lot more interesting.

I don't know why the fu*k we can't use the word s-ex but prick was ok

Maybe we need to start another thread with "dirty" words to see which ones actually show up in the forum.

sex
breasts
ass

I would do those shops for free if they had them! Shop2LivinFL

Only if they were sexy! Ah ha I plugged a bad word in here lol

After reading the post about the f word I went back to be sure the original post hadn't been edited and reread it. I didn't even notice it the first time around.

I'm another one who was so riveted by the story I had to re-read it twice to see the "F" word. It fit the story.


Wow, what would I do? I think I'd vote for retreat and video. If he was clearly not armed I might leave it at that. If I thought he was carrying I might step outside and call 911.

I would do what Storm Cloud said. If it was convenient for me, I might just leave the premises and start over 30 minutes later.

&ninamason you and your trainee did a really good job. Did you have any training on handling situations like that?

I am one who is offended easily by language particularly in the break room at work, where I want to relax and hear Adult language. I heard and hear enough vulgar language in junior high and high school. I can tolerate it from kids much easier than from adults.

Just label the dirty words thread really well and I'll stay away.

My rant is over.

As a mystery shopper, we're intended to report everything objectively. One time when mystery shopping a McDonalds, I, a MAN, was groped by someone in line. That was an extenuating circumstance but you'd better believe I reported on it anyway.

If the violent altercation with the jarhead somehow reflected poorly on the cashier in your report, I doubt a manager wouldn't read it and see that something happened, or the cashier couldn't use a police report or surveillance camera footage to explain everything that happened. It's our job to report, not to make life easy for employees.

Shop2LiveinFL Wrote:
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> I think video taping men in boxer briefs would be
> a lot more interesting.


As Mshoulders pointed out, that would entirely depend on the men involved.


Shop2LiveinFL alsoWrote:
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Maybe we need to start another thread with "dirty"
words to see which ones actually show up in the forum.
@#$%&


You'll have to PM me which word *that* was. Ha!


SunnyDays2 Wrote:
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I don't know why the fu*k we can't use the word s-ex
but prick was ok


The forum doesn't seem to care about dick, either. Or several other 'questionable' words. Just those two 'magic' words. Hmmm.

I think if the situation was clearly described in the report, but scored negatively by the shopper, a sharp editor would have caught it and "fixed" the report.

If I were in the store when that happened, I might be too frightened to get close enough to the door to escape. The cash registers are usually too close to the door. I might call 911 from inside the store, even if not speaking to the operator. If the commotion was still happening while on the call, the operator would partly hear it. They can find out pretty quickly where I was calling from. (Excuse my ending the sentence with a preposition.) When the Marine left, I might look at his license plate to report it to the police if they called me back to find out why I called 911.

Later, when writing the report (if the form would allow enough characters), I would say how the employees acted professionally in a difficult situation.

Because you can prick your finger with a needle. And a @#$%& is a female dog. I don't think whatever program is designed to obscure so called "dirty" words can understand context.

SunnyDays2 Wrote:
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> I don't know why the fu*k we can't use the word
> s-ex but prick was ok

And what if I want to know the s-e-x of LisaSTL's baby? How is that a bad thing?

I, too, do not like to read or hear filthy words. Since I live in a local culture in which they are common, and since I am otherwise such a parrot of people's dialects, I pray to God that one of those words will never come out of my mouth.

I think that they have no use in a society of grown-ups, the workplace (including the breakroom), or public gatherings. I heard only two dirty words while growing up, which says a lot about the quality of the culture and place where I was. It is odd that I recognized them as non-standard as soon as I heard them. It is my opinion that when manners deteriorated in this country, the TV culture picked it up (Those sit-coms had a lot to do with the beginnings of that.) and the general populace then incorporated the bad language into their culture. I still see a lot of good manners where I live, though, but the words seem to have proliferated. I wonder if part of it is also the dumbing-down of the educational level of the public who then do not have a choice of vocabulary handy. I used to be a substitute teacher so I have a lot of opinions about what happens in schools--public as well as parochial and non-denominational private schools.

Yes, I liked the OP's story. I didn't understand what her looks had to do with the behavior of the Marine. As an older adult, I might have responded differently to his comments, but I'm not sure that it would have made any difference at all. I might also have had 911 on hold if I could have managed it without being seen. If he has PTSD, maybe that would get him some help. I don't think I could go through any of the experiences they have without being really mixed up in the head. Having been in the military, I would not have as much sympathy for the individual's bad and rude actions. Honor the service, not the bad behavior of the service member. I learned that certain units--the Green Berets, for instance--were taught that they must exhibit good behavior toward others, especially women, all the time. And they did.

There was a man barely out of his teens who used to use profanity a lot at our Reserve meetings. I knew that he lived with his grandmother. I asked him if he used that language in front of his grandmother. He said no. I told him that there was no reason to use it at drill. I don't know if he stopped it altogether, but I didn't hear it again. I don't know how you all can turn it on and off. And, yes, it was very noticeable in the OP's comments. It doesn't say much that some of you "didn't notice".

There was a TV actor whose name I have forgotten, but I believe he was the "son" in that show about a man who operated a salvage company. The father used to talk to his dead wife a lot. Anyway, this son/actor later became a Christian. He said that he was so glad that he had never used a curse word (profanity, or other catch-all phrasing for it) on TV at any time during his career. I post that to show that it is possible to stop it altogether, which he apparently did when he made the life change.

However, just because some people don't like to hear/read it, doesn't mean other people don't have the right to say it. It's not a person's right to never be bothered.

It was such a small, insignificant piece of the story, I can't believe people are so hung up on it!

George Carlin — 'There are no bad words. Bad thoughts. Bad intentions, and wooooords.'

I think the two of you are just making excuses. I personally don't like to hear euphemisms, either, because I know they are representations of the other words. Yes, I am *often offended*, but 99.999% of the time, no one else will ever know it, because I usually don't show either by word or facial expression that I am offended. I, too, have freedom of expression. It is surprising how quickly others jumped on it. I'm sure readers can conclude from my statements in the other post and by those of others that profane words are not considered appropriate and/or polite. A person has a choice whether or not to do or say something offensive to others. It is more a choice because it is a "right" although it is not right (a play on words).

So, I am guessing that Sandra Sue will not be listening to Nine Inch Nails' "Closer" any time soon.

I don't really care what words you use BUT I am getting really bored by the use of the same ole words. You know them - f..k, bi...h, etc. Can't we be original enough and come up with something else? It's like the ball cap worn backwards or the droopy pants. Time for a new show!!!