Need advice on what to say In report
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No, because you decided you needed to criticize someone for adding something to the discussion that had not been said before.
as if you get to decide when a thread should end.
And now you're not only keeping it alive, you're changing the subject again.
Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 01/25/2015 05:30AM by dspeakes.
as if you get to decide when a thread should end.
And now you're not only keeping it alive, you're changing the subject again.
Time to build a bigger bridge.
Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 01/25/2015 05:30AM by dspeakes.
I do not get to decide when a thread should end. I did not criticize someone for adding something to the discussion. I did not say I am the person who decides when a thread should end. I simply stated my hope that the thread had died and that it obviously had not. I mean I get you would like to complain about everything I say, and when I say something that legitimately could be complained about I will have no problem with you complaining, but seriously get over it.
There are reasons that a body stays in motion
At the moment only demons come to mind
At the moment only demons come to mind
Did it not occur to you that your comment would be interpreted as criticizing a relatively new poster for responding to the thread? Because that's the first thing I thought of -- that the poster would think they had done something wrong, just because *you* wished they hadn't posted. Which is why I said something appreciative about the post, to let them know that they hadn't done anything wrong.
Time to build a bigger bridge.
Apparently you missed my point, which admittedly I didn't make clear. There was a lull in posting from Jan 17th until the OP resumed the thread on the 23rd. I did not read the thread on the 23rd but responded when I saw the thread for the first time afterwards on the 24th. I did not read any of the replies on the 23rd and 24 and my post was not directed at any individual poster. My post was to be taken at absolute face value, that it was a touchy subject that had made many people angry and my wish was that it had been buried.
There are reasons that a body stays in motion
At the moment only demons come to mind
At the moment only demons come to mind
The strange thing is: If they hear it from a white person, it is considered very offensive.
If they hear it from their fellow black friends, it's just part of the way they speak to each other.
If they hear it from their fellow black friends, it's just part of the way they speak to each other.
I am elderly and white. Yesterday I went to a Schlotzsky's where I was helped by a black cashier. She addressed me twice as "Mama", once when she asked "What you want today, Mama?" and again when she brought my sandwich to the table and asked "You need anything else now, Mama?" I was surprised how warm and fuzzy it felt, as in I felt accepted and respected.
Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 02/08/2015 04:23PM by MDavisnowell.
Mary Davis Nowell. Based close to Fort Worth. Shopping Interstate 20 east and west, Interstate 35 north and south.
Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 02/08/2015 04:23PM by MDavisnowell.
I think it might be a southern thing, or maybe a Texas thing. I am used to being called "mama" (anyone female and over 25 can be called mama), "honey," and "sugar," by women servers. In Texas it is frequent to be called "darlin," "sugar-pie," "honey-chile," and "ma'am" by both men and women. I believe it's meant as a polite endearment and I take it as such.
Absolutely, Austin. I thought it was darlin' that she addressed me as Mama.
Mary Davis Nowell. Based close to Fort Worth. Shopping Interstate 20 east and west, Interstate 35 north and south.
A woman at the customer service in walmart called me babe. I thought that was weird.
It's a southern thing, not just Texas.
I have to admit, when I first read MDavisnowell's post, it didn't come across as "friendly"...this shows a prime example of why we need to explain in detail in our reports.
I have to admit, when I first read MDavisnowell's post, it didn't come across as "friendly"...this shows a prime example of why we need to explain in detail in our reports.
.
Have PV-500 & willing to travel.
"Answers are easy. It's asking the right questions which is hard." (The Fourth Doctor, The Face of Evil, 1977)
"Somedays you're the pigeon, somedays you're the statue.” J. Andrew Taylor
"I have never met a man so ignorant that I couldn't learn something from him." Galileo Galilei
Have PV-500 & willing to travel.
"Answers are easy. It's asking the right questions which is hard." (The Fourth Doctor, The Face of Evil, 1977)
"Somedays you're the pigeon, somedays you're the statue.” J. Andrew Taylor
"I have never met a man so ignorant that I couldn't learn something from him." Galileo Galilei
Mom who is 89 is frequently addressed as Mom by servers and cashiers. She loves it.
Everybody is different. Some people have been raised such that they might consider being called "babe" or "mama" a compliment, while others could consider it to be offensive, just like everything else in the world. Nothing pleases everyone. There is always a dissenter. The best advice is probably to avoid terms such as those being discussed herein that COULD BE considered offensive by even the smallest portion of the population, because the person who performs the shop, or the client supervisor who reads the shop report, could be a member of that small portion of the population, even though it might be regionally acceptable and the shopper was not offended. That's my $.02 worth.
I think you will find the percentage of the population finding it offensive for a stranger to call them "babe" is not such a small portion.
Equal rights for others does not mean fewer rights for you. It's not pie.
"I prefer someone who burns the flag and then wraps themselves up in the Constitution over someone who burns the Constitution and then wraps themselves up in the flag." -Molly Ivins
Never try to teach a pig to sing. It's a waste of your time and it really annoys the pig.
"I prefer someone who burns the flag and then wraps themselves up in the Constitution over someone who burns the Constitution and then wraps themselves up in the flag." -Molly Ivins
Never try to teach a pig to sing. It's a waste of your time and it really annoys the pig.
Really??? It never bothers me. But I live in an area where waitresses especially refer to everyone, male and female, as babe, hon, or honey.
There are reasons that a body stays in motion
At the moment only demons come to mind
At the moment only demons come to mind
Of course it doesn't bother you, you are not a woman and have never had words like "hon" or "babe" directed at you in a demeaning way. Words like that can be appropriate between people who know each other well. Otherwise they convey a sense of intimacy inappropriate from a salesperson or server who has never even seen you before.
Equal rights for others does not mean fewer rights for you. It's not pie.
"I prefer someone who burns the flag and then wraps themselves up in the Constitution over someone who burns the Constitution and then wraps themselves up in the flag." -Molly Ivins
Never try to teach a pig to sing. It's a waste of your time and it really annoys the pig.
"I prefer someone who burns the flag and then wraps themselves up in the Constitution over someone who burns the Constitution and then wraps themselves up in the flag." -Molly Ivins
Never try to teach a pig to sing. It's a waste of your time and it really annoys the pig.
I get hon, m'am, darlin' But babe? My babe calls me babe. hahaha I wasn't offended. It just sounded strange to me.
hahaha I wasn't offended. It just sounded strange to me.
I work in a man's world now (auto part store) and do deliveries to local mechanics, who call me "darlin'" "sweetie" "Hon" and other similar terms along with "ma'am."
I do not take offense because they don't intend to demean me. I take it as a sign of approval, and pleasure that they got me instead of the portly guy with gray hair and garlic breath who sometimes delivers.
They're not flirting, they're not demeaning me, they're calling me a term of endearment that makes me feel good. It makes me feel like they still see me as a woman, a fragile thing, something to be appreciated even though I'm hauling a 40 pound rotor out of the back of the truck.
But some feminists would be horribly offended, would probably "put them in their place." I choose not to be offended because I know that no offense was intended. I take the remark as a compliment, not an insult.
I do not take offense because they don't intend to demean me. I take it as a sign of approval, and pleasure that they got me instead of the portly guy with gray hair and garlic breath who sometimes delivers.
They're not flirting, they're not demeaning me, they're calling me a term of endearment that makes me feel good. It makes me feel like they still see me as a woman, a fragile thing, something to be appreciated even though I'm hauling a 40 pound rotor out of the back of the truck.
But some feminists would be horribly offended, would probably "put them in their place." I choose not to be offended because I know that no offense was intended. I take the remark as a compliment, not an insult.
Time to build a bigger bridge.
None have called me "babe" yet, but it would not offend me if they did.
Time to build a bigger bridge.
You want to be viewed in business as "fragile" instead of capable? Maybe it's a good thing you don't realize those guys are demeaning you. I worked in a male dominated field in the 80s supervising crews. I was treated with respect and courtesy and they still considered me one of the guys. On the rare occasion someone new would treat me with disrespect there was never a need for me to put anyone in their place. Their coworkers would do it quickly and loudly.
Equal rights for others does not mean fewer rights for you. It's not pie.
"I prefer someone who burns the flag and then wraps themselves up in the Constitution over someone who burns the Constitution and then wraps themselves up in the flag." -Molly Ivins
Never try to teach a pig to sing. It's a waste of your time and it really annoys the pig.
"I prefer someone who burns the flag and then wraps themselves up in the Constitution over someone who burns the Constitution and then wraps themselves up in the flag." -Molly Ivins
Never try to teach a pig to sing. It's a waste of your time and it really annoys the pig.
They are exercising what used to be considered proper manners. when I start hauling that 40# rotor out of the truck, they rush over to do it for me, which I appreciate. Not because i can't lift it but because they prefer to treat me like a lady even though I'm wearing men's Dickies work pants and I don't consider that a character flaw.
there is no disrespect and I refuse to be insulted when no insult is intended. I've never been a militant feminist and have no intention of becoming one.
I find it amusing that they treat me as if I were fragile, because we both know I am not. But if a guy was raised to be nice to women and wants to call me "darlin'" it would be pretty rude of me to get my knickers in a knot over it.
Now if a man ever said to me, "why are you delivering auto parts instead of working as a secretary?" *that* might get my knickers in a knot. But Darling, sweetie, or even Babe I take as a term of endearment, not an insult.
there is no disrespect and I refuse to be insulted when no insult is intended. I've never been a militant feminist and have no intention of becoming one.
I find it amusing that they treat me as if I were fragile, because we both know I am not. But if a guy was raised to be nice to women and wants to call me "darlin'" it would be pretty rude of me to get my knickers in a knot over it.
Now if a man ever said to me, "why are you delivering auto parts instead of working as a secretary?" *that* might get my knickers in a knot. But Darling, sweetie, or even Babe I take as a term of endearment, not an insult.
Time to build a bigger bridge.
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