When I shop in real life, with the exception of "Can you please tell me where the --- is?" I don't usually ask questions at local supermarkets. I've always known they're ignorant about food, and are little more than stock clerks. But I shopped an upscale area last month and the story was very different. Were your stores in upscale or middle-class areas?

******************************

While returning from my bank shop, I was hit by torrential rains, and it poured in through the moon roof. I used the business card to shovel the water slowly out of the car. Very slowly... It was just a ball of mush after that. I've put my car into a 100 degree oven to dry it out.

These pieces of "enlightenment" are just as likely to be offered in upscale neighborhoods as poorer ones. But then this grocery chain is slowly closing its "older" stores--read "poorer neighborhood stores". Meanwhile it is opening new stores as close as 2-3 miles apart to have them close to new gated communities.


I was doing a shop in a small store when the clerk dropped one of the new energy efficient lightbulbs and it broke. Now these are mini fluorescent bulbs so have a minute amount of mercury in them. I spotted the droplets and pulled out my business card to sweep them together and push them against my shoe sole to lift them and drop them in a plastic lined garbage can. The clerk got a broom and I was helping her with the dustpan collect the broken glass when the Hazmat team arrived that the manager had called. They were kind of cute in their space suits, but they made us immediately evacuate the premises because of the "dangerous mercury poison". Unfortunately the clerk mentioned I had collected the mercury already and put it in the trash. The guys questioned her closely and then confiscated both my shoes and my business card as "hazardous waste". Luckily it was a warm day to come home barefoot.

Don't you think that in general employers, managers or whatever, have a diff standard of hiring, under the misconception that in poor areas you can bamboozle the public, or that they expect less, or that they deserve less? Otherwise how would explain the following:

Although my area isn't poor but working-class, the diff where I shop for real and the wealthy area I shopped in last week was prominent. The store was actually beautiful. The exterior and parking lot were cleaner. Even the shelving was more attractive. No stock clogged the aisles. The produce was fresher, the lighting enhanced everything, there was actually help in every specialty dept. The stock of sale items was larger. There were sanitizing paper towels outside for wiping the handle of your cart. None of the staff were talking on their cell phones.

This was the same large grocery chain that has an unkempt store near me, which I'll be shopping under duress this weekend.

*************************

You really took me in with that story. I believed it till I got to the Hazmats. Do the fluorescents really have mercury?

sneakers,

Are you not up to date on the latest environmental hazards in the home and workplace? Yes, florescents DO have mercury. The bad kind of mercury, although the amount is miniscule, it is still hazardous. Never, never pick up broken pieces with your bare hands and never vacuum up the debris afterward. That just pushes the mercury and vapors into the air. There should be sites online that tell the proper way to dispose of the bulb and clean up afterwards. I saw it on a television news story.

Now I've frightened the wits out of you, I would believe the story. I'm not sure they would be called for a simple light bulb but a store does have a certian amount of liability and the public is litigious. If I were a store owner, I just might do the same thing.

Okay, flash, fess up, is this a true story?

Of course it is not true. And yes there is a miniscule amount of mercury in the new bulbs but oh surprise, there is a miniscule amount of mercury in the old fluorescent light bulbs as well. My wee tale was in response to a bunch of nonsense with a TV news thing that was talking about a woman who called Poison Control because she broke a bulb. In their infinite wisdom Poison Control had her call in a hazardous materials team that ONLY charged her $2000 to clean up the light bulb. We have become overly frightened of our world and overly clean--and the super clean is a big part of why our kids have so many allergies and breathing problems because they don't get a gradual exposure to dirt. If we want to take our fears to their logical conclusion we will shortly ban automobiles because more people get killed and maimed by them every year than by any other product.

Reality check: We became "aware" of mercury and mercury poisoning because it was showing up in the flesh of fish and could build up in our tissues as well if we ate lots of fish with mercury. The operative word is 'lots'. Suddenly the digital thermometer folks were on the case telling you to get rid of your glass fever thermometer with mercury and buy a digital because it was "so much safer". Marketing or reality?

When I was a kid we would break a mercury thermometer by dropping every few years. When I was about 5 I coughed and chomped a mercury thermometer and got a mouth full of broken glass and mercury. The 'standard treatment' for such was to eat a raw egg. ???? When I was in high school chemistry we were studying the properties of matter and had a class session where we played with small puddles of mercury on the lap table top to observe the properties of a liquid metal. I have cleaned up a fair number of broken fluorescent bulbs in my lifetime and the biggest danger has been those very thin splinters of glass from the bulbs. So if somebody was 'suffering mercury poisoning' I would be an excellent candidate and I am not, nor were there the 'expected' birth defects in my offspring.

While I am not arguing that anything is "safe" I would argue that there is a big difference between using common sense and responding with hysteria. It is probably a good idea to clean up a broken light bulb whether it is incandescent or fluorescent. A vacuum cleaner is likely to get small particles of mercury into the air if it was a fluorescent, but with so many vacuums having a HEPA filter I would wonder even about that. It does make sense to dispose of the burned out fluorescents properly for your area, but with most landfills at this point being lined with an impermeable membrane (EPA requirement) even disposal in your garbage can is unlikely to "damage the planet". And in fact you are more likely to damage the planet with the styrofoam take out box or doggie bag from your favorite restaurant.

flash,

I loved your response but what the heck is logical thought or common sense doing in this forum???

LOL!!!

You didn't scare me, LaGata. I have the same good sense that Flash has, and I work with potentially toxic chemicals in my own business. Very few things are harmful in tiny quantities. Be careful of which news programs you watch. Most of the commercial networks are only interested in shock value.

Now let's get back to the fun. Have we run out of tall tales?

But sneakers, without shock value a lot of people wouldn't have any excitement in their lives at all! And the news services love to cater to those people. LOL!

Whereas, boring people like me have enough on their plate. I'm juggling 2 or 3 of my 6 "jobs" daily, I'm the state president of one organization, a board member of one and a member of another and getting ready to take my CERT training. It's pretty rare that I even get to watch television except the last few minutes as I'm falling asleep. Thank goodness for a sleep-shut-off on my bedroom television!

You're very observant. That's not what news is supposed to be about. If I get into that topic, I'll be writing for months here.

That's why I get all my news from NY Public Radio, PBS and the NYTimes. Except that I read my Times online now, the internet has not changed my criteria. Try your local NPR station if you don't have time for TV.

With 6 jobs, how would you have time for MSing?

There is that old truism that if you want something done, ask the busiest person you know. And yes, the news is all about shock value to get folks to "tune in at 6" or 11 or whatever. Last night's tease was a gas pump showing $5.39 per gallon. Bert fell for that one. Small town way out in the mountainous boonies, one station. Probably even have to pay a premium to get a fuel truck to go there. But of course the local news presents it as if it was a local phenomenon. These guys really should get a life. They are so busy trying to make news they don't spend enough time researching it.

NPR is the radio station I listen to whenever I'm in the car! That's the only station I listen to and I'm in my car quite often.

My 6 jobs consist of one part time job where I work in my home and can set my own schedule; I'm a licensed real estate associate broker; I have a small business in my home doing glass and crystal engraving; I'm a mobile notary, on call; I do searches of recorded documents for two attorney firms in another state; and the occasional limited time odd jobs for a few companies that depend on my doing whatever they can't do and the MSing.

The rest of my time (???) is spent with my cats and hubby. Both are spoiled rotten! Either I'm doing something wrong or terribly right. Wrong because I don't make much money, just enough to keep the wolf from the door and right because I like working this way, I don't get bored and whenever I'm needed I can usually respond. Is there anything better?

I think you've got the perfect approach to it all. For years I needed to take myself much too seriously and now I can pretty much do what motivates me at the moment. Not as worried about the wolf at the door as the Health Department closing down my guest room as "unfit for human habitation". But then it gets cleaned up when there are going to be guests . . .

We have a lot in common, LaGata. I've tried my hand at all sorts of things, but also can't make any money. (Except that I don't have a husband bringing in a second source of income.) I made more doing MSing last month than in the whole past year of my sideline business, computer repair. The recession hit both of my businesses badly. But I like the flexibility of this, and some of the shops are even fun.

Anyway, glad to meet you. Cats should be spoiled. The horrible alternatives for them are a shelter or the street. If I lived in a house, I'd have much more than two. Husbands are another case. Sometimes one is too much.

Where do you live?

"Husbands are another case. Sometimes one is too much."

Now that is an interesting thought to get the fantasy train chugging down the track. I found raising my sons that one of them was always being wonderful even when the other was being a pain. Perhaps the same would apply to multiple husbands--one would always be wonderful. Similarly with my sons, when the one who was being wonderful was getting his kudos for being wonderful, the other would generally shape up without parental intervention to get back in favor. Perhaps the same would apply to multiple husbands . . .

* * * *

I no longer have the business card because an interesting proposition popped up and having no rolling papers in the house, I used it to roll a little weed and contemplate the notion.

In a recent Harris online poll 38,562 men across the US were asked to identify woman's ultimate fantasy. They concluded that a woman's ultimate fantasy is to have two men at once. While this has been verified by a recent sociological study, it appears that most men do not realize that in this fantasy, one man is cooking and the other is cleaning.

The fantasy goes beyond . . . one cleaning, one repairing and renovating, one cooking, one working on the yard and gardens and one giving me a wonderful back massage. We could probably make room for a few out earning a living.

Here's something I just copied from one of my instruction sheets:

To ensure payment, your report must be submitted within twelve (8) hours after completing your
shop on the proper date agreed upon between you and your scheduler.

And another from a shop email. This is followed by another paragraph.

Survey Deadline: --Your survey must be completed and submitted on our web site by this time.


Lucky, I found two in one day. And the MSP's worry about our grammar.

Mwaaah! I can't think of any more business card tall tales.

Was running late getting home from shops on Monday and stopped by the bank for an ATM withdrawal because the drive thru was closed so I would have $ to buy a bale of hay for the critters on the way home. Grabbed my card and slammed it into the machine. It rejected. Shoved it in again and again it rejected. Suddenly realized that the business card had stuck to the back of the ATM card and was now jammed in the machine. I tried to get it out, but the business card was stuck. Figured I would run home and get some tweezers to fetch it out with. Then I should also be able to make my withdrawal. So I scooted on along.

When I got back to the bank about 20 minutes later there were a half dozen police cars in the lot with their blue lights blinking and an officer was stretching crime scene tape around the ATM area. I decided to keep driving and forget the card. Went to another branch, got some cash, got the hay and didn't think about it again until I was putting in the shop for the bank the card came from. Oh well.

Tonight's news showed the CSR I spoke to on Monday being led from the bank in handcuffs by the police for attempted bank fraud. Apparently her business card had been found in an ATM machine at my bank. That ATM had been allegedly fraudulently emptied of all funds. . .

sneakers, I don't have a husband that brings in a second income, he just lives here. The only work he does is an occasional handimanjob for his pocket money. He does fix an occasional meal, keeps the car running, does the maintenance around the house and takes care of his two cats, outside, but that's it and I do mean that's it!

Don't get me wrong, he's good in a lot of ways but he does not, I repeat does NOT contribute anything to the household financially. What I make is what we live on and pay all the bills with.

As for more than one hubby? Hmmm... I don't think I can afford more than one.
:-0

In other words, he's retired. He's already put in his share, but if you want, I can train him. I make my living at HandyWoman Home Repairs.

Getting back to your problem, do you need any help with MSing? You said it was frustrating. I've been doing it all of 9 weeks.

About taking the cats out into the sun. They have little strollers, similar to ones for babies, but they're covered with mesh. The cats can be out and in at the same time.

sneakers,

One can't actually retire in the usual sense of the word, unless one has worked a productive job. He's now 46 years old. The longest job he had, he took a job in 1998 and was asked to get licensed and take over the job, that lasted a year and a half. He gave me a total of less than 3K in that time to help with the bills and promptly "borrowed" it all back. Oh, he did remodeling on two houses for one owner and never got paid, filed a lien, and that's been in court for four years.

He's had five or six jobs in 18 years, with a year and a half being the longest, the rest were a couple of months.

One job he did, the owner's son stole over $6 K in equipment and sold it, for drugs. The owner couldn't afford to pay hubby back and put his son into rehab.

So I work. Worked all through cancer treatments, too. Went back to work a week after the death of my son. But save your Kleenex, I'm doing okay and working at whatever I can. The little things, like on this site, my cats and my work are what help me keep my head and heart together.

As for you hopeful offer, believe me, he can't be trained... LOL!!!

I just read these. Very creative.

But I would have SWORN it was the pole dancing.

Beth

You sound like you're doing OK, LaGata. Theres an old Yiddish proverb, which I don't know in Yiddish:
"You can't control the wind, but you can adjust your sails."

LaGata,

Anyone can do well when the odds are stacked in our favor. I cannot tell you why the things that happen happen; that is for a source greater than myself.

But I can tell you what I do. When I wake up, and I can feel that today is going to be...... challenging, I hug myself, actually wrap my arms around me. And I remind myself that as intelligent beings, we are tested to see if we can rise to the occasion. I will not offend by reiterating my religious beliefs, for I think we are all entitled to our own, but will say simply that there is a reason for what happens to us, some way we are meant to grow by it. And whatever you interpret the after life to be, that strength will follow us there, and grant us..... something. I will not presume to guess what that higher level will be.

Peace,
Beth

I just read the egg and carrot cake stories to a friend on the phone, not in the MS context, of course, because that would violate my contract. The tears are still running down my face. Do you think we should publish some of this stuff as "The Mystery Shopper's Book of Fun"? The bookstores would classify it as fiction.

sneakers,

For years I kept getting caught up in the trap that other people kept laying on me about my husband. I finally stepped back, took a look at the entire situation and decided that I married him for better or worse, and it sure could be a lot worse than it is, I love him, he loves me, we've been at this 17 years. I can't stress about the future, I have to concentrate on the here and now, and right now, it's not that bad.

I think I've done a fine job of adjusting my sails. The only time I tend to get testy is when someone assumes that I have help financially. I'm proud (finally) of the fact that I'm doing this all on my own. When I was going through chemotherapy treatments, I was sent to a counselor. After a few sessions she told me that I'm the sanest person she knows and thanked me for the help I'd given her. That was about the biggest compliment I've been given.

gentlesky0, I take full responsibility for my life and what I do in it. Thank you for not "reinterating" your religious beliefs. When I wake up in the morning, I'm awfully happy to still be waking up and knowing I have another day of challenges, smiles, chuckles and if I'm really lucky, good hard laughter!

I wasn't laying a trap, just being naive. Flash can verify that I'm green as a pickle about life, in spite of my 61 years.

sneakers,

Hah! I would tell you to lead the way but you're not that far ahead of me. I'll be 61 in April. LOL!

Geez, I'm running around with old women again!! I don't hit 61 until September.